What's Lust Got to do With It?
by my hubby is no edward
Summary: While Edward & Rosalie are out of town, will Emmett and Bella be able to contain their infatuation for one another, or will they let the lust consume them? AU/AH, a bit OOC; rated M for a good reason
1. Chapter 1: Concupiscent Contemplations

**Hi, so this is my first attempt at putting out little figments of my imagination. I'm a bit wordy, love to laugh, and have a bit of a potty mouth. I look forward to taking this little adventure with you.**

**All in all, I plan for this to be between 5 and 6 chapters long.**

**(Edit: This story has been continued, and is no longer just a short story.)**

**Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.**

*********Disclaimer****:*** **_**I don't own "Twilight" or any of its subsidiaries including but not limited to the characters involved in my little fanfic. I merely own the perverted thoughts I have in my brain and want to act it out for all of you.**_

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"_**What's Lust Got to do With It?"**_

**Chapter 1: Concupiscent Contemplations**

_**BPOV**_

_Hmmmm, what would I call my infatuation with Emmett McCarty? _

I wouldn't call it love at all. I know this because my heart does and always will belong to Edward Masen. I don't want to sound cliché, but upon seeing him the first time on campus, my heart began beating erratically and something told me that I'd be connected to him for as long as he would allow. From the first moment we locked eyes and he spoke to me, I knew that some cataclysmic forces had collided and we were spared this moment in time just for him and me- _for us_. With our first kiss, the whole normal "seeing sparks or fireworks" couldn't even compare. The kiss was so explosive and earth-shattering that it felt like a nuclear bomb was set off between us, and I knew with him was where I belonged. The exchanging of "I love you" each day only solidifies our connection because I still get the same giddy awkwardness, flooding warmth, and teary eyes that I felt the first time he spoke those three little words. Yes, Edward is the only man my heart will ever belong to for forever. He and I have been seeing one another exclusively for four years now-a personal best as far as my dating history is concerned. I love everything about Edward; no amount of _this thing_ I have for Emmett will ever change that or what he means to me.

As I pace around the kitchen, I try to analyze my feelings more thoroughly. Of course, Emmett picks this opportune moment to arrive home from his workout, screwing up my thought process. As he's taking off his sweatshirt, the edge of his undershirt gathers upward, leaving his delicious treasure trail exposed to my viewing pleasure. _Yum, look at that fucking body. I just want to lick him… a lot. _He turns around catching me in my evident gaping and I blush profusely in embarrassment.

"Hey, Pinky," Emmett says, stating his favorite annoying nickname for my blushing tendencies. "Whatcha gonna cook us for lunch? After the strenuous effort I just put in at the gym, I'm starving."

_GUH…strenuous efforts, Emmett working out, fu-uck me. I'll cook you up and eat you something proper if you'll let me._

I roll my eyes at him, playing out the charade I perfectly display, careful not to let my true desires for him shine through in this moment. "What makes you so sure I'm cooking for two?" I ask while quirking a brow.

He wiggles his eyebrows at me, smiling his dimple induced grin and practically takes my breath away. "You're on babysitter duty, remember?" he says, and he's right. I promised Rose I'd take good care of him during her and Edward's absence. A spontaneous business trip that their shared place of employment ,C & R Volterra, conveniently conjured up at the exact time that my desires for Emmett are reaching record-breaking levels. Shrugging my shoulders, I answer with evident sarcasm, "Well, we sure as hell want to keep the apartment, so I guess _I_ am cooking. We don't want you to burn the place down, now do we?" He bends over at the hip, slapping at his knee in mock laughter at my not-so-subtle attempt on attacking his cooking skills. Sighing contently, I watch him settle himself into the recliner.

Even being in this predicament, I'm thankful to have him here. With my parents still in Phoenix, I have no one here in good 'ole Texas except for Edward, Rose, and Emmett. Edward agreed with Rose's suggestion and insisted Emmett and I keep one another company while they were away. _If Edward knew the kind of company I want Emmett to keep me, he might not have been so inclined for the arranging of me a babysitter. Especially when said babysitter looks as amazing as Emmett. _

_So, is this what I'm feeling then? I only desire his body? Could it be true that my attraction for Em doesn't exceed past his physical attributes?_

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy Edward's body. He has always been my idea of male perfection. If I could bottle that shit up and label it "Ideal Specimen of the Fucking World," I'm almost positive that I'd become a millionaire overnight. Edward has a phenomenal physique from years of lacrosse and cross-country. His broad shoulders taper to a sculpted chest followed by deliciously chiseled abdominals. His legs are long and strong, holding up all the flawlessness that defines him. However, you can't mention Edward without mentioning his best feature, and that's his face. He is in one word, beautiful, with a huge side portion of DAMN HOT. The disarrayed, sex hair that he constantly dishevels with his talented fingers-- _his fingers are so extraordinary, another top feature I assure you_-- adorn his head. His eyes are alluring with their mysterious depths, so full of tranquility and fervor. They remind me of the days right before fall, just when the green leaves on the trees glow with brilliance as golden specks of sunshine play along their edges- so entrancing. Following is his succulent pout that houses his delectable tongue. _Holy hell, the immense pleasure his mouth can bring me is inconceivable. _Last but not least, his masculine jaw line is mouthwatering and usually sports a short stubble, only because he knows this is the way I love it. I live for the way it makes me shiver as he rubs his chin up my stomach, across my breast, and along my neck before taking me into a heated kiss every night.

_Ummmm, remind me again why I'm thinking about Emmett when I get all of that?_

As I resituate myself near the counter overlooking the living room, I take a more perceptive view of Emmett's body. Lounging in the lazy boy adjacent to the television, I notice that he and Edward's bodies differ vastly, but house a familiarity all the same. Then again, Emmett has an appeal all his own.

_Ohhh yeah, THAT'S why I'm thinking about Emmett._

Scanning over his features, I start with the nutmeg-shaded, silken tendrils that cascade over his forehead and plaster the sides of his face, cutting off just above his ear. His curls, dampened by sweat from his latest gym excursion, give him an adorable boyish quality-- _still, I find myself wanting to run my fingers through those lockets and scream his name. _I continue down his face to see his enchanting, aquatic blue eyes. They always seem alive, dancing with amusement and enthusiasm. His lips are plump and beg to be kissed. As he repositions himself in the chair, I'm automatically drawn to how his sweat-soaked tank molds to his muscular frame more closely. With the garment hugging his well-developed chest, I suck in a large breath as I watch him take his hand and run it along his stomach smoothing out the wrinkles, _perhaps to give me a better view of his post workout muscles. _As his chest rises and falls with his steady breathing, I continue on my assessment of his frame. I journey over his forearms, soaking in their bulging size as they contract and flex while he strokes the arm rest on the chair. Back and forth, tantalizingly slow, he pushes his fingers up and down the length of the arm rest, running it along the hem of the chair, swirling around only to come back deliberately slower. _Strokes forward, fingers up and down, swirl, strokes back , swirl, strokes forward… _

As he continues with his assault on our furniture, I find myself getting hotter, wetter, and flustered with the idea of him touching himself in this exact manner. _I better commit this shit to memory, you know, in case I'm ever allowed to touch his sure-to-be massive cock._ My eyes instantly draw upward as he leans his gorgeous face in my direction. I lick my lips and instantly focus on his because they are moving and I can see his tongue darting in rapid succession just behind them. _Rose says his tongue is magical, and I've always been curious as to a certain trick she raves about relentlessly, perhaps he'd be willing to show me._

I'm broken out of my little _moment_ because Emmett is now waving his hand in my direction.

"Bella!" he nearly shouts with a questioning smirk. _Hmmm, wonder what's up with the smirk, he couldn't possibly know what I was contemplating…could he? _" I asked if you're okay back there?"

Rolling my eyes and giving myself a quick once-over, I look back up and answer, "Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"Nothing really, you just sounded like you were having a panic attack or something. You were panting so heavily I had to check and make sure some 300 lb. cop hadn't broken into our house after a three mile jog to find our hidden donuts," he says boisterously, snickering at the little image he must have conjured up.

"For your information, jackass, I um…I was working on breathing exercises," I retort with fake confidence. _Right, like he'll believe that one. Good job there, fucktard! _

To my utter amazement, Emmett bobs his head in resignation and returns to his previous position in the chair laughing at something the Sportscaster is saying.

_Ahhh, yes, now where was I? That's right, I was assessing the extent of my fascination with Emmett? So, although I find his body very appealing, that isn't quite what has me so enthralled with him._ _Who am I kidding? I am completely aware that I'm more interested in what his body would feel like pressed against my body or _inside_of it, intertwining our limbs amongst twisted sheets, screams, and spoken desires. My intention to be near him is completely sexual._

Once again, I feel the need to state that Edward is more than magnificent in the bedroom. His ministrations are always deliberate, sensual, and exquisite. I love it when he makes love to me, but that is the complication- we only ever make love. Our sexual experiences are always unhurried, gentle, and sweet. He always takes his time on me, making sure the love he feels for me pours into his every action. I love this about him- about us. I love that he can make me feel so worthy and cherished, like I was put on this earth just for him. The orgasms Edward has brought me to are always… mind-blowing, and leave me more than satisfied at the end. Getting a release wasn't the problem at all, it is merely the act of making love that leaves me thirsting for more. I crave more, need more, just want FUCKING MORE. I mean, Edward never allows himself to get lost in the moment. And to be frank, I just want to be fucked senseless. I don't want any loving, caring, sharing bullshit, I want him to throw caution to the wind and ravage my body. I really just yearn for someone to plow into me with no inhibition.

_Just fuck me_. This is where my fantasies of Emmett come into play. Hearing Rose constantly chanting about their vicarious love life always leaves me aching to be fucked like her. Thinking back on a certain conversation we had, I grab my I-pod and relocate myself between the dual refrigerator doors for a few reasons. One, I am working myself up ridiculously and the fridge will help me cool down. Two, I need to figure out what I'm preparing for lunch. Three, if I stare at him any longer, I swear to all that's holy, I am going to attack his ass. Setting my I-pod to random play, I concentrate on the task at hand--making food for us and focusing further on my feelings for Emmett. I can't help but laugh at the song that sounds through my ear buds. The beat is new and has me sashaying my hips from left to right, bouncing my ass along with the words and Latino beat.

"_One-two-three-four, Uno-do'-tres-cuatro, I know you want me--- You know I want cha--I know you want me-eeeeee, You know I want cha…" _Pitbull's most recent song, "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" continues to play as I whirl around the kitchen, singing and dancing to the music. If only his lyrics could help me decipher things in my own life. I know I want Emmett- _that is an understatement and pretty fucking apparent_- but can't help but wonder if he feels the same for me?

_Lust is defined as a passionate or overmastering desire or craving--or to have an intense sexual desire. I know this because I looked that shit up. So, this is what I'm experiencing, right?_

Lust. This must be the permanent feeling I have for Emmett. Ever since Edward first introduced me to Rose and Emmett, I developed an innocent-_or not so innocent_- crush on him. Of course Edward is my soul mate, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with lusting after a person. I will take this time that Edward is away to work through my feelings for Emmett. _And perhaps, Emmett will use this time to _work_on me._

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_**EmPOV**_

Hearing cabinets closing and Bella singing broke me out of my ESPN zone, _which is not too fucking easy to do might I add_. There aren't too many things that can drag my attention away from the television, but the possibility of a meal and Bella are two of them.

As I turn in the chair, focusing my eyes in the direction of the kitchen, my jaw nearly hits the damn floor. _Oooh, shiiiiiiiiit! I'm in serious trouble. SOS!! Mayday, MAYDAY!!! This big ass ship is going down…or UP depending on how you view it! _

I watch her and am momentarily stun as she dances around the kitchen, her brown hair falling in waves around her back and swirling over her shoulders while she parades her body around the tile floor. As she rocks her hips from side to side, I notice the way her jeans rest just below her pelvic bones. I'm instantly hit with a strong compulsion to simply run my fingertips from one side and slowly drag my hand across her pelvic region to circle the other. Unaware of my gawking, she does a twirl exposing her backside to me. _Holy Shit! _She is popping her ass in the most delicious way possible and arching her back towards me. _I bet that would feel tremendous if she'd back her ass up like that in backwards cowgirl. _I can't help the twitch her movements elicit from my now extremely hard Emmett Jr.

I feel as though I'm receiving my very own lap dance. _I mean, yeah, it's from far away, but I'll take what I can get. _I take perceptive notice of the way the light wash denim of her jeans cups her ass perfectly and hugs her long, seductive legs. The images of her wrapping those legs around my shoulders are interrupted because I finally notice what she's singing. As she spins around to face me, she grabs the counter and sways from one corner of the counter to the other, pushing her cleavage out the of her purple, low-cut tank top. As the Spanish lyrics spill from those perfectly luscious lips, I almost scream with the torment that is wrecking through my body. Something about hearing her use a foreign dialect makes me crave her enormously more. With her current activities causing her to take labored breaths, I watch as her chest heaves, leaving me breathless as well. My dick is straining to break free from its confinement, and my balls are aching for a release. _Not now, Em, for Christ's sake; get a hold of your damn self. _I'm instantly drawn to the luminous strip of skin that descends below her pants as she reaches her arms to the overhead cabinets. As the hem on her top rises with her efforts, I feel the need to tie myself to this chair because my desire for her is starting to cloud my judgment. Every muscle in my body is screaming for me to run to her, throw her on the counter, and take her as I have wanted to for so long now.

I remember back to the day Edward brought Bella to meet Rose and me. Drool probably leaked from my mouth as I mentally scolded myself for staring so zealously at my best friend's girl. I was immediately captivated by her "good daddy's girl" persona and the natural beauty she possessed.

Of course, Rose is exceptionally beautiful, delicious curves adorning her figure in all the perfect spots. With blond hair, honey brown eyes, ruby red lips, scrumptious hips, and legs for days, she embodies the essence of perfection. However, Rose is a siren in the bedroom _and_everywhere else. She is large and in charge, practically oozing with sex and she knows it- _especially with the countless fights I've been in over her seductive, flirtatious nature and the grabby, perverted men that gravitate towards her. _I'm not saying I don't adore all those alluring qualities, it's just I want someone to be a little more subtle about their sexuality . You know that whole, "chic on the streets, freak in the sheets" type of chick. And, I could just tell Bella is like a sexy librarian-type girl. All quiet, shy, and innocent in person, but behind closed doors she wants it rough and tough, whips and handcuffs, good girl gone bad type if scenario. I crave the sensation of feeling Bella craddled in my arms while I fuck her with all the intentions of bringing us intense pleasure over and over again.

Rose knows all about my fascination with Bella, and at one point, even encouraged me to seek out a sex session or four with her. _Most definitely, Rose is a sex goddess for even suggesting I could be with another woman. _I'm extremely blessed to have her and plan to make her my wife eventually. But before I ever say my vows, I plan to make good on her offer, and have Bella as my own.

I'm broken out of my minute of reflection as I meet Bella's chocolaty brown gaze. It appears as though I'm caught, though I can't seem to care about it for even a second as I find myself charmingly smirking in her direction, topping it off with a little wink. Bella shyly drops her head, clearly uncomfortable that I've been watching her little display of moving far better than any Go-Go dancer I've ever seen. She steals a look at me through her long, curved lashes while biting her bottom lip, blood instantly pooling in her cheeks before she goes back to preparing our meal. I suppress a groan because she has never looked more delectable than she does at this very second. _Down boy, it's time for damage control. _I need to tell Bella about all the activities I have prepared for us this week, starting with ice cream and a walk tonight. I plan on taking her out and showing her bits about myself, letting her know all the different sides of me. Perhaps we can connect on a different level, and she would be more inclined to taking me up on my request. This week will either be one of passionate success or tormenting failure.

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_**BPOV**_

A few hours later, showered and shaven, twenty outfit changes, and a nearly broken toe, I find myself trying to calm my nerves before our date.

_Wait, what? Date? No, this is simply an outing between two close friends. Yes, friends. _

_Friend you want to fuck! Friend whose name you want to scream as he pounds into you from behind. Friend you want to lick from head to toe. Friend you want to…_

_Damn, not helping here! Just. A. Friend._

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that, honey. It doesn't change a thing. I know what you want._

_Okay, shut up. You are me, and we just have to keep our thoughts to ourselves. Fuck. Okay, I can- WE will- do this._

As I quiet my inner self, I put the finishing touches on my outfit. Deciding on casual sexy, I pull a few black bangles around my wrist to complete my ensemble. Evaluating my appearance in the mirror, I can't help but to feel giddy just thinking about Emmett and his possible perception of my outfit.

_Will he find it sexy? Will it make him lust after me? Will it make him want to fuck me? _

_Hey, whoa now, thought you were just friends? _

_Uhhhhhhh, right! _

After a quick spray of perfume, I switch off my light and begin to search for Emmett. I walk in the family room to find him comfortably sitting in his favorite spot, the lazy boy. Taking in his appearance, I sigh deeply. He looks incredible, even in everyday wear. His aqua shirt manages to mold to his frame loosely, only highlighting his more pronounced muscles while enhancing his gorgeous eyes. I have yet to figure it out, but there is something about low-hanging cargo shorts that drive me mad. _Probably because you know what lies just below the zipper. Good gracious, here I go again. _I make a small cough to announce my presence and ask, "Hey good-looking, ready to go?"

The chair swirls and comes to an immediate halt. I watch skeptically as Emmett makes a low whistle as his eyes scan over me. Ducking my head under his scrutiny, I peer back up to find a sexy-as-hell Emmett walking in my direction, captivating me with his charisma. He strides directly up to me & grumbles something like, "Gonna fucking kill me," under his breath. Glancing back down, I finger my hair at the bottom, loosely running strand after strand through my fingertips and switch my feet back and forth. Under his elusive eyes, I'm uncertain about my final clothing choice. _Does he think my outfit is slutty or sultry?_

Startling me, Emmett claps abruptly, "You ready to go, kiddo?"

_More than ready. _"Yes, I just need to grab my purse." I turn around quickly and practically run off to get my purse that's laying on the floor next to the desk. I smile devilishly as a stroke of genius forms in my brain. Without bending at the knee, I lower my upper body towards the floor to scoop up my handbag, leaving my ass in perfect position for ogling.

I snicker as I hear Emmett cough loudly; obviously he must be receiving good view. Pulling upward in much the same fashion, I turn to sport my most seductive grin and beckon him forward with two fingers.

Shuffling forward awkwardly, head hanging low, I watch as red paints across his cheeks. _Hmmm, now that's interesting. Emmett doesn't do awkward. Ever. _Looking down at my black peep-toed heels, he questions, "Are you sure you want to walk?"

Extending my hand, I answer with, "Yes, let's get this show on the road."

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**A/N: That was the end of the first chapter. Reviews are wholly appreciated if you see fit.**

**A very big thank you goes out to my cyber wifey, Rhi (Live720) who sat with me through all the fingernail biting and hair pulling in gchat sessions of me making myself go crazy with anticipation.**

**Another big thank you goes out to my Mistress, SereneCaffeine, thanks for all your help, bb.**

**Both of these ladies have incredible fics, you should check them out.**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	2. Ch2: Nuts,Berries,& Berries Extravaganza

**Okay, so first off, I want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, or alerted my story. It means so much to me, so truly, thank you.**

**Secondly, this chapter is especially dedicated to a lovely hoor, Nicci. Thanks for all of your love & support, Bitch!**

**Thirdly, sorry this chapter is late getting up. My hubs decided to be King Ass yesterday & hold the internet box hostage. Then, Yahoo decided to be an uber bitch & not let me open my emails.**

**(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)**

*****Disclaimer****:*****_**All recognizable characters & plots are property of their respected owners. I only own my twisted brain & a few hundred major fantasies I'd like to partake in with Rob, assuming he was willing, of course.**_

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**Chapter 2: Nuts, Bananas, and Berries Extravaganza**

_**EmPOV**_

Gazing over the menu at Cones & Shakes, the ice cream shop, Bella brushes against my arm and excuses herself to the ladies' room. Turning away from the menu, I let my mind recollect Bella's entrance at the house.

After hearing her cough, I pivoted in the chair only to skid to a complete stop upon seeing her. She looked so enticing, so very delicious. My eyes raked over the black silk halter that showed off her silky, toned shoulders and hung freely from her breast. Her khaki shorts might as well have been underwear, _not that I'm complaining_, as they showed off the gorgeous length to her legs. I managed to tear my eyes away from her body by complimenting her with a low whistle.

When she dropped her eyes in embarrassment, my feet began moving on their own accord. Rambling my inner thoughts about how her divine body was going to cause my death, I had crossed the living room and appeared in front of her within seconds. I stared down at her as she ran her hands through the shiny brown strands of her hair. _I had never wanted to run my fingers through someone's hair so badly in my fucking life. _

My hands started reaching out towards her head as I screamed at my brain for control. Finally, snapping my hands back quickly, I clapped them together loudly; begging them to listen for once. I felt bad for startling Bella, but little did I know, she had every intention of getting me back. I sucked in a large breath when she spun around to retrieve her purse. _The…the…sweet Jesus, the back of her halter was basically nonexistent_. There was only one strip of material and it gathered right above her ass, which I stared at so incredulously as she sashayed her hips while walking. Then as if I wasn't already dying, hells gates opened and Bella did the single most appealing thing that could have caused the hold I had on my body to crumble in an instant.

I watched as she slowly dipped her body towards the ground in the most define way until her ass was in perfect view. My breath was stolen from me as I gazed upon the most scrumptious ass I have ever seen besides Rosalie. _And I've seen a fuckload of ass, mind you._ Getting lost in my fantasies, I pictured strolling up behind her and running my hands up her firm legs. Then grabbing her by the thighs, I'd thrust my cock deep within her walls. I pictured her swinging her hair around as my name was being screamed from her lips.

_It would only take five or six steps to be across the room, .02 seconds for my pants to be around my ankles, & 3 full seconds before my fantasy would become a reality. _

Hearing her purse scrape across the floor, I coughed sternly to pull myself from my little dream world. She pulled herself up in the much the same fashion as she had lowered her body, and I swear this girl has taken some stripper classes or something. _Lord knows I'd pay a fuckton to see her strip, too. _Twirling around, Bella was sporting a cocky-ass grin & summoned me forward with two fingers. _Why the hell is that so damn hot? _

I shuffled forward with my chin to my chest; however, I'm pretty sure my face betrayed me. I never blush, but after that little sex session in the brain, I was fucking blushing. _I'll never hear the end of this, she's going to tell everyone. Quick, I need to think of something. Ummmm, BINGO!!!_

Seeing those sexy as hell stilettos, I questioned whether or not she was sure about the walk. She answered with something about "show" and "on" and "road." _If she's trying to take her stripper routine "on the road," I'm buying front row tickets to that "show."_

So, after a cab ride to the ice cream shop, I am _still_ thinking about that outfit, the naughty bend, and those fucking black heels. Those death traps leave me to question her whole motive in general. I'm definitely sure I discussed the matter of ice cream and "a walk" beforehand. So, why would any woman in their right mind wear heels for a walk-- _especially when one certain woman in particular has issues with such mechanics as gravity and putting one foot in front of the other safely? _That can only leave me to believe one thing- Bella wore those shoes, those sexy fucking heels, for me. She is trying to look attractive for me, dazzle me with death heels. She wants me to notice her. It's working.

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_**BPOV**_

Stumbling my way out of the bathroom, _damn _shoes, a sharp movement caught my eye. Emmett jerks himself around to face the menu and resituates something in his pocket. As I stride up to him, my toe catches on the leg of a chair. I feel myself falling forward, but cannot seem to find the balance I need to steady myself. Continuing to plunge forward, I wait for the impending pain I know will accompany my fall. Just then, a pair of strong arms reach out to cradle me before I can complete my tumble. Peering into those oceanic eyes, I am momentarily captivated by the closeness and the electricity circuiting through our embrace. With him staring into my eyes, my pulse quickens and I start to feel light-headed. Snuggling deeper into his embrace, I allow myself to just _feel_ the moment. His cologne is heavenly and multiplies in the air molecules around me- a masculine scent with a hint of sweetness. His powerful arms encircling my body seem to be cutting off my air supply, as my labored breaths are weighing down my chest. Licking his lips, he folds his arms more securely around my back and leans forward, bringing his succulent pout towards me. Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, I wait for his lips to join mine. His breath is close now, and I feel it spreading across my face and down my shirt, bringing my nipples to full attention. Taking another breath, I part my lips eagerly, praying he devours me like he does the rest of his meals. Feeling his nose inches from mine, my body twitches with the anticipation of the expected bliss of his alluring lips. And then nothing. Wait… WHAT?! _What the hell just happened?_

"Ma'am? Sir?" the clerk questioned. "I asked if I could get you two anything?" _Hmmm, I guess I didn't hear her the first time._

Opening my eyes, I see his retreating form. His lust-filled eyes meet mine as he sits my feet firmly back on the floor. Patting my hair back and taking calming breaths, I glare at the little witch behind the counter. _Cockblocker._

Glancing at her name tag, I sneer, "Well, Gianna, I'll have a banana split. Make sure it's a long banana with a good helping of nuts." _Bitch!!! _With a supercilious salute, she starts making my dessert. I chance a sideways glance at Emmett, and find that he is looking at me as well, still shaken about what _almost _took place. I feel the need to lighten things up because the significance of the previous situation is still sitting heavy in the air.

"So, Emmett, what will your enormous gut be having this fine evening?" I giggle.

He refutes by raising his shirt up to expose his very intact six-pack, "There is no gut here, baby. Hard. Rock. Solid. are the only things that define this stomach."

Gulping, I answer with a simple, "Yep." _So much for making things lighter; is there a fan in here somewhere?_

Queen Bitch Gianna then presents my banana split and curtly asks Emmett for his order in the most distractingly, whorish way possible. While pressing her tits up against the glass, she runs a finger over his chest and says, "Is there anything I can get you, big man?" Emmett, being such the gentleman, politely returns Super Slut 2009 her finger and orders five scoops of Berry Bonanza in a cup. After paying, we take our ice-cream and conversation for a nightly stroll through the park and away from Skankzilla.

Carrying on in simple chatter, I sense Emmett opening up to me like he never has before. Whether we are discussing his childhood fear of being afraid of the dark, his adolescent imaginary friend, Floppy Ears, or the quirks he feels about politicians these days, there is a sense of security forming between us. I start noticing the purer things that make Emmett truly himself. The way his dimple looks like an apostrophe when he grins, and how it complements the way the tiny sapphire specks flicker when the street lights bounce off his eyes. It astounds me how even though he houses a massive frame, he moves so gracefully like he's walking on air. And his laughter. His laughter is so boisterous, but not deafening or annoying. I love hearing him laugh; it makes me want to laugh just as hard. It's freeing, really.

I stop to massage my feet. _Curse me for wearing these heels. What the hell was I thinking? _

Emmett leans down to help massage my feet and says, "Do you want a piggyback ride? My ice cream is almost gone, and I don't mind carrying you?"

_How thoughtful is he? I wouldn't mind riding him…his back, at all._

Standing back up, banana split in hand, I look at him with grateful eyes and reply, "That would be fantastic. My feet are aching so horribly. I don't know why I chose to wear these shoes- stupidity on my part, I suppose."

"Well, I agree. Only an idiot wears death daggers and calls them shoes. I'm surprised you lasted this long without killing yourself." Emmett chortled.

"Asshole," I respond while launching my banana at his head. _I'm proud I asked for a big banana because that is what the big dick deserves. Bulls-eye! Oh shit! _Emmett starts after me and I know I'm in a world of trouble now. Hurdling a certain piece of fruit at his head might not be the best decision I ever made.

"Oh, ooooh, you did NOT just do that. It's on like Donkey Kong and a bag of weed on Sunday," Emmett replies while chasing me down, big dong shaped banana in tow.

Ducking under tree branches and running amongst the park, I laugh and encourage Emmett to hit me with his best shot. Peeking out from behind a tree, I search for Emmett in the shadows and listen carefully for any indication of his location. I hear nothing. No twigs snapping, no leaves crunching, only absolute silence. Getting worried, I step out from behind the tree and whisper, "Emmett, okay, I surrender. I'm sorry. Where are you?"

As I ease further from the tree, I quickly scan the park. It's dark and only a tiny street light flickers in the background, alerting me to the deserted area where I now stand, alone and scared. Trying to relax myself, I speak softly, "This isn't funny anymore, I give up. Please Em, just come out. I want to go home now. Please." Still I am answered with quietness.

"Emmett, dammit, I don't want to play anymore," I mumble again in frustration. Just then, a twig cracks and I snap my head to the left, only to meet with a handful of Berry Bonanza ice cream and a chuckling Emmett.

"You, Ass!" I gurgle while cleaning the ice cream from my mouth and hair. Now stalking towards him, tray in hand, I'm ready to dispose of the rest of its contents on his pretty turquoise shirt. _Time to show that asshole who is boss lady around these parts._

"Bella, don't! I'm serious; I don't want to have to fight you." Emmett says through laughter. "I'm not afraid to hit a girl."

"You can't be serious. Your mother would be so disappointed in…" I sound as I charge in his direction. As I struggle to tip the container in his direction, Emmett grabs my wrist and takes a commanding hold over me. He reaches with one hand to the left side of my halter and pulls it back only to dump the rest of my ice cream down my shirt.

"Sonova Bitch, I love this shirt! Fine, you win," I say, angry and defeated. "Anyone who can balance a cup of ice cream, pull back a top, and dump a sundae down someone's shirt deserves the credit and the victory. I don't want to play anymore, though. You don't fight fair," I scoff as I trot off pulling the bottom of my shirt away from my body to let the ice cream remains fall from between my breasts.

"Come on, Bells, I'm sorry. You even said so yourself, I had limitations. At least now you have some berries to go with your melons and the banana," he says while snickering and shoveling a spoonful of the frozen treat into his mouth.

_Brilliance!_

Stalking towards him with a seductive swipe of my tongue along my lips, I ask, "Emmett, can I get a bite of _your_ berries?" Taking a heaping spoonful, he nods his head slowly in approval while staring lasciviously at my tongue gliding along my slick lips. Offering me the spoon, he swallows down the gulp still in his mouth. I shake my head 'no', caress along his finger tips, and urge him to bring the utensil toward my mouth. After closing my eyes, I wrap my lips around the spoon and purr in appreciation of the sweet and cold mixture taking residence in my mouth. "Mmmm, God, Emmett. That is so good," I coo seductively.

"Yes, Bella, it…sure…is," Emmett says huskily with evident longing.

I lift my eyes slowly to gaze at this beautiful, colossal man in front of me. Stepping closely, until I am nearly in direct contact with his body, I ask while subtly biting my lower lip, "Would you like me to feed you?"

Emmett quickly nods and I go for the spoon. Taking a massive scoop, I lick around the edges to make sure it's extra sweet before I deliver it to his mouth. He hums in appreciation and I go back for a second scoop. Bringing the cool cream to my lips again, I let my tongue slide tantalizingly slow, collecting the mixture on the tip of my tongue and let my eyes roll back in my head with its sweetness. Opening my eyes hesitantly, my legs become goo with the intensity behind Emmett's stare. With measured speed, I ease the spoon toward his mouth, watching as his lips slowly part to take the cold bite into the opening . Instantly, my face transform from one of pure sex into a mischievous smirk. Catching on, but too late, I take his hand and slam the rest of his Berry Bonanza cup into his face. As he stands, shocked that I actually accomplished what I set out to do, I giggle. To add insult to injury, I step one foot closer and take the ice cream from his face and smear it in around his shirt.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he snaps through clenched teeth. _Okay, I know he's a bit upset at the moment, but it is my solemn vow to make him say my name in the heat of passion if I ever get the chance because… DAMN._

He takes me by absolute surprise and grabs my wrist almost forcefully. Looking at him with suspicion, I begin to tremble with excitement as he lowers them down towards his crotch. Placing them under the hem of his shirt, he flattens my palms and works my shakings fingertips up his abs and over his well-developed pecs.

_Good Lord, is this man trying to fucking kill me? I was just looking for a little retribution. I'll consider this little feel-him-up as my consolation prize. YAY me! I've wanted to do this for sooooo long._

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

Finally, after all this time, I work up the courage to just make her touch me. I mean, after all, she did just shove ice cream down my throat and spread it around my expensive shirt. _She owes me, or at least that's what I keep convincing myself._

I can tell she is a bit taken back with my abruptness because of the tiny gasp that escapes her lips. Holding her by her dainty wrists, I flatten her hand and guide her up my shirt and across my muscles. Feeling her trembling, I peer down to make sure that I'm not completely freaking the girl out, definitely not my intention_. Actually, that would be the exact opposite reaction I'm going for while doing this. _

Maneuvering her hands over my chest, I still feel the need to be closer to her. Things have progressed so well over the evening. We've talked about serious & none serious issues, and I love that I can make her laugh. She truly seems to be enjoying our activities together.

Still, this moment is so intimate, much more than the almost kiss at Cones & Skanks…I mean, Shakes. _That trashy worker ruined everything. I almost fucking kissed Bella damn it!_

I take initiative and grab both her wrists with one hand, grasping them gently, yet forcibly. Pulling her into me, I close the distance between our bodies. I feel every desirable curve of Bella's figure pressed into my own. _Am I in heaven? By golly, I think I just might be._

Feeling the immense heat radiating from our fused frames, I let a shaky breath escape me. Bella looks up through her dark lashes, letting her chocolate pools melt into my soul. She isn't uncomfortable, no, but is still holding back- still needing encouragement.

_Well, shit, where's my encouragement, I'm just as uneasy as she is?_

_Man up, pussy. MAN THE FUCK UP!_

_Yeah, that's right, I _am_ the man. I got this._

Rolling my shoulders slightly, the tension melts away and I take her fingers and drag them back down my body. Our bodies are so well-connected, that my fingers edge simultaneously down her sultry frame, making contact with her silk shirt along the way.

"Mmmmm," drips from her lips as the friction and desire mix within the air around us.

I search eagerly through the dim-lit park and almost smirk with my next course of action. Walking her backwards a few feet, her back is met with an abandoned building wall. I look down at her gorgeous face, weighted breaths spill from her succulent lips, and her eyes rake appraisingly over my body. She is telling me she wants this too. She is telling me that this is okay.

_Please God, let her be telling me this is okay. _

I'd like to say that I'm a super confident male that can read woman, but to be honest, I'm just as dumb as the rest of the other fuckers out there when it comes to knowing what women want. I see what I want to see, no matter how perceptive I think I am. I've been slapped and called a pervert my fair share of times. _Those women don't know what they're missing. _I'm a good man though, and there is more to me than hormones. Rose can attest to that, people just don't take the time to realize it. They see my laidback attitude and listen to my sexual intuitive jokes and automatically chock it up that I'm a pervert and ruled by testosterone. Never once has anyone, except Rose and Edward, taken the time to see there is more to me than meets the eye. I promise, I will make Bella see who I truly am.

_Dude, when did I become such a woman, rambling about people not knowing the real me? _

_I know, seriously man, hot woman down below waiting on you. Oh shit, Bella!_

Turning my attention back to her, I lower my forehead to her shoulder to calm myself. _I have to take this shit slow; Bella is a good girl. _Bending my knees to be eye level with her, I search her brown depths for confirmation that what I'm about to do is fine with her one last time. The last thing I want is to push myself on her when she isn't ready.

Glancing at my lips while concurrently licking her own, she nods her head very slowly. Accepting this as my answer, I stand straight and push my body closer to hers. Letting my finger slide across her collarbone to push a stray strand of hair behind her back and rub along her shoulder, I let my nose skim up the length of her neck. Using her perfume to entice me, while calming my nervousness, I whisper into her ear with polished conviction, "Bella… my God Bella, you look positively scrumptious tonight. If I could ever dine upon a meal as divine as you, I'd most certainly die a happy man."

Feeling her knees give under the weight of my declaration, I situate my hands on her hips and push her further against the wall to let her steady herself. My hands wonder around the edges of her curves as I lower myself down her body to kneel on the ground. Reaching her ankles, I slide the horrendous contraptions from her feet, gently setting her flatfooted on the sidewalk. I work my way back up her body very slowly, allowing my fingertips to dance along her calves, placing a soft kiss above each knee and continue on my ascending path. I give adequate time to stop and admire her milky, firm thighs, kneading them graciously with admiration. This positions me directly in front of her, eye to eye with the very thing that gives away her arousal for me. The scent is sweet and calls to me from its heavenly depths. The need that I have for this woman is insurmountable and ferocity rises in my chest. I jerk myself to a standing position hastily, placing a firm hand behind her back, and pulling her into me. Locating my hand directly under Bella's knee, I hitch it around my hip and push my erection into her, silently detesting the fact that we weren't nudist.

Bella gasps immediately because of my hurried motion, and lets her head roll backwards hitting the wall at the contact our bodies are making. "Guh…Emmett…just…yes, please, anything…now" she moaned. _I swear I am dying a slow but magnificent death._

That being the only incentive I need, I grab her appetizing ass in both hands, and propel her upwards so that she can lock her heels behind me. _God, she feels incredible._

Bella then lets her head sway to one side and I take the opportunity to move to her neck. Nibbling and biting upwards, I let my throbbing cock rock into her with burning vehemence. Each time my erection makes contact with her body, we both sigh profoundly and push into each other even further. I continue my assault on her neck, steadily working towards the one place my lips have begged to reach since I first met her, her lips.

Bella reclines back away from my touch suddenly, and I immediately sulk at the loss of connection. Looking at me with darkened eyes, she taps my shoulder and breathes out, "Lose the shirt." Leaning back, I comply, not caring that we're in public and make short work of my shirt, tossing it to the ground. _Dude, I need to calm down before I nut all over myself. _

Bella, no longer needing assistance, surges forward, letting her fingers roam graciously around my body. Pulling on my shoulders, running her hands along my chest, wrapping her arms around my body to scrape her fingernails up and down my torso leaving goosebumps in their wake, as my own hands began to journey even further around hers as well. My fingers slip underneath her silky top and I feel little contrast between her shirt and her skin. Her soft stomach is so smooth, but toned.

Then, pulling her fingers back around my body, she works her fingers steadily up over my abs, past my chest, and towards my neck. She utilizes them and collects some of the remaining ice cream from my body. I watch diligently as she pulls her appendages into her mouth, sliding the sticky sweetness between her lips, and extricates them with deliberate slowness. Then surprisingly, she leans forward and lets her tongue trail up my neck in to the corner of my mouth, collecting the remnants of the treat and causing me to shudder and a line of vulgarities to escape my mouth.

I pulled back to look into her eyes as my fingers start on their ascent up her shirt, wanting her to melt under the heat of my stare. Licking my lips, I decide to go for it and kiss her as my fingers work idly towards her breasts. The closer I get to her alluring peaks the more my lips are drawn to her tempting pout. Staring heavily through lust-filled eyes, I see her breaths are just as labored as my own and there's a thin sheen of perspiration coating our bodies, making our fingers glide with ease. Closing her eyes and separating her lips further, angling her body to maintain direct contact with my cock and my hands, I shut my eyes and go for the kill.

_**BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ… "It's just you and your hand tonight." **__What the fuck!!?!_

We both snap our eyes open as Bella pants and looks downwards at her purse. Reluctantly, she pushes against me and sighs heavily with annoyance and disappointment. Not wanting Pink's "U + Ur Hand" song to actually come true, I keep my grip on Bella firm. Shaking my head 'no,' I plead with my eyes just to let it ring.

_**BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ… "Cause you know it's over, before it began." **__Fuckity fuck, who the hell is it and what in God's green earth do they want?_

Completely irritated, Bella pushes against me harder this time, "It's Rose, I _have_ to get it."

_Why would she set that as Rose's ringtone? They have such a strange relationship._

Sliding down my body, _Ohhh God that felt good_, Bella reaches sullenly towards her purse. Throwing the flap back, she reaches in and grabs the traitorous device. Pushing a button, she snaps out, "This better be important."

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_Fucking phone, we almost kissed, we almost had…Oh God, I almost fucked him against a building… in public. Man, that's hot._

Reaching into my purse swiftly, I grudgingly press the answer button and all but shout angrily, "This better be important."

"Well aren't we all rainbows and sunshine tonight. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything imperative, Miss Sassypants," Rose says while giggling.

"Ummm, no, just that I'm really tired. Did you need something?" I answer guiltily. _I'm such an asshat, here I am biting Rose's head off because she messed up my alone time with _her_ boyfriend. Yep, complete douche-bag._

"No, not really. I just wasn't able to get a hold of Emmett on his phone and wanted to check up on you guys. I hope he's behaving himself," Rose says with an added snigger. _Again with that?_ _What's up with all the school girl laughter?_

"Hold on, Rosalie," I say while turning to Emmett covering the speaker. "Do you have your phone on ya, Rose says she's been trying to get a hold of you?" His eyes bug out a little as he searches his pockets in slight frenzy.

"I guess I forgot it at home. Tell her I'll call her as soon as we get back," Emmett sounded with mild remorse, while shaking his head slightly.

Turning my focus back to my conversation with Rose, I repeat, "He said he'd call you as soon as we get home, he forgot it at the apartment. Is that all you needed?"

"Well, someone's eager to get off the phone," she chuckles amusingly. _Seriously, am I missing the humor here?_

"That's all I needed, but Edward wants to talk to you." Rose says, officially ending our uncomfortable conversation. _Well, I don't know about her, but it was awkward on my end of things._

After a muffled exchange of hands and whispers, Edward spoke into the receiver, "Hello, my love, I've missed you tremendously. How are you?"

Ugh, if I didn't feel guilt-ridden after my quick chat with Rose, I'm certainly feeling the repercussions now that I'm on the phone with my heart. Casting my gaze downward and turning away from Emmett, I let Edward's words surround me. Any possible thought of my beforehand lust are completely diminished upon his endearing voice.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you there?" Edward speaks softly.

Realizing that I never answered him, I sigh into the phone, "Yes, I'm here, sorry. I'm pleasant, but missing you. Emmett has done a fair job thus far of entertaining me. How are you?" _He's keeping more occupied than I care to admit actually._

"I'm relieved to hear things are going so well for you two. Business as usual, trying to make sure I do well in my presentation. I really want to land partnership at the contracting firm. This hotel means big things for me if I can secure the account. Rosalie is doing an excellent job of keeping me on point. However, today has been tiresome. I thought about you constantly and my heart aches to be near you. I can't say I love this separation. Hopefully, I'll be able to close the deal sooner, and be back home quickly with you," Edward says with complete devotion into the phone.

_It's official, I feel like complete shit. Here he is "constantly" thinking about me and I'm trying to make out with his best friend. Worst girlfriend in the world right here._

"That's wonderful, it sounds like things are going great for you. I'm eager to have you home, too. I think I'm going to get off here though and try to help Emmett catch a cab so we can get home. I love and miss you immensely," I reply, letting my shameful actions of tonight consume me further.

"Oh, okay then. You guys be careful. Tell Emmett I said to take good care of you, I'm depending on him to keep my life safely in his hands. Bella, I love you so much. Pleasant dreams and cuddle my pillow as if it were me. I'll miss holding you tonight. Good night, my dearest, " Edward verbalizes, killing me a little more with each word.

Letting a single tear stride down my cheek, I respond with a simple, "Good night, Edward," and end the call.

Turning around to face Emmett, I watch as his face falls a bit as he steps in my direction. Wiping the tear from my face with his thumb, he asks, "Ready to go home?"

I shake my head in agreement, and he hails a cab. Settling in the car, Emmett pulls me into his side and strokes my hair. "Well, that was…an evening," he lets out with a shaky laugh. "I have something special for us tomorrow. You'll need to rest peacefully tonight," he says, smiling and comforting me further. Looking away from him, I can tell he's upset because of our disturbance, but the fact that he isn't pushing me to pick up where we left off shows what a gentleman he truly is. I'll sleep restlessly tonight, I know, but I'm most definitely looking forward to tomorrow.

Turning my head towards him, I smile shyly, "Yeah, tomorrow is a new day."

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

Just hearing her talk to him on the phone, I know things won't pick up where they left off once their conversation is over. The moment is gone; the intensity lost. I let my face drop as I remember back on our evening- an almost kiss, a nice stroll through the park with easy conversation and laughter, an incredibly sexy and frustrating ice cream fight, all ending with an explosive, almost very public sex session. Yep, to say I'm a bit disheartened by how this evening isn't going to end is an understatement. Not only that, but Rosalie's phone call _was_ a bit of foreshadowing because it will be my hand and me tonight. _Oh well, my forearms could use a bit of exercise I suppose._

Hearing her tell my best friend 'goodbye' pulls me from my recollection and if possible, my heart drops a little further into my stomach. I watch as a single tear glides down that beautiful face and I know that she regrets tonight. I feel more like a jackass than I ever have before. I pushed her too far. Walking towards her, I take my thumb and run it along her tender cheek, taking the tear with it.

"Ready to go home?" I ask, already knowing her answer.

She shakes her head 'yes' and I hail the cab to carry us to the apartment. Once inside the vehicle, I pull her into my side and finely get to rub my fingers through those silky brown strands I've been staring at for years now, fulfilling my desire from earlier in the evening.

"Well, that was…an evening," I say with unsteady laughter, not sure exactly how to bring up tonight. I didn't want her to continue to feel uneasy about it, so I decide to just change the subject.

"I have something special for us tomorrow. You'll need to rest peacefully tonight," I say with a smile, trying to soothe her worries away.

Her eyes cast downward and an emotion resembling pity and understanding registers on her face as she looks away from me. Then turning back up to meet my eyes, she smiles her cute-ass grin and says, "Yeah, tomorrow is a new day."

I could shout from the rooftops. This is all I need, this little glimmer of hope that I haven't fucked things up with her. I had planned on taking her to the gym tomorrow, but I'll put that off for another time. I'll spend the entire day tomorrow showing Bella that she's special in my eyes, not just some sexual distraction while my girlfriend's away. My actions tonight pushed her too far and I'm shameful of my eagerness. I want to show her how different I can be. I can let her set the pace and we can do things together that will let her know every aspect of myself. Just a day of knowing each other's ins and outs, just the two of us.

* * *

**A/N: Review if you love me… or if you hate me, or if you just want to. =)**

**A big thanks goes out to my cyber wifey, Rhi (Live720), she makes my shit look a bit better, you know, cleaned up shit. *giggles* She was also the kickass person that got Bobby Long to video me a private message. If you don't know his music, shame on you! Go Google or YouTube that shit immediately!**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	3. Chapter 3: The Thunder Rolls

**Okay, so again I want to thank everyone that reads and reviews, but for all those that favorited or alerted me, I appreciate you as well.**

**Sorry it took me so long getting this chapter out, but I felt like I had so much to prove with Emmett, he's such an awesome character, more than a sexually charged, dumb jock looking to get his grind on. Okay, so he still does that, but you know what I mean. Let's just say that Emmett has two heads and I think he might use them both this chapter. *snickers* I hope I made up for it, this damn thing is over 8,000+ words.**

*********Disclaimer****:*****_**SM owns Twilight-its characters and all recognizable affiliations of such. I only take what she provided and twist it to make the shit I want happen. I, however, own way too many Rob fantasies that I don't care to share, but I will if you ask nicely.**_

**On with the show........**

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Thunder Rolls**

_**BPOV**_

_"Oh My God," I practically scream while arching my back off the black, silk sheets because of the sheer amount of pleasure happening above them._

_"I don't think he's the name you should be screaming, seeing as it's me that's making you shiver," he says huskily._

_The man bringing me to new levels of bliss ducks out of my line of vision, and I lean forward searching in the moonlight for his silhouette. Finally my gaze falls on dark curls working in a heavenly manner below my neck. Dipping forward, kneading graciously with his hands, his tongue slides smoothly over my breasts and the hollow between them. Switching between his tongue and teeth, I can't fathom the amount of ecstasy I'll feel once he goes a little lower._

_"Don't stop, Emmett. Never, ever stop," I say with shallow breaths as he rakes his tongue divinely over my upper body._

_"I wouldn't dream of it, Bella. If you knew how long I've craved tasting you, you'd know that my actions wouldn't falter even if I tried," he whispers as his quickened pants spread warmth across my heaving chest._

_He leans toward my breasts, cupping a bosom in each hand, letting his thumb graze over my sensitive nipples. Easing forward slowly, he takes a tantalizingly slow swipe of his tongue, running it along the underside of my breast horizontally. Stopping in the middle, he rearranges his position and then glides it vertically over the slope of my boob to flick his tongue gently over my nipple, bringing it to full attention._

_"Hell yes, lick me again. Lick me again. Just. Like. That."_

_A guttural moan stems from his throat as he barely breathes out, "Happily," acting on my command._

_Then palming my breast, he begins swirling his tongue deliciously around my right nipple. He sucks it into his hot, wet mouth, rolling it around his tongue vigorously while his thumb and finger work meticulously over my left side, twisting, tweaking, and pulling gently._

_"Damn, so good. Shit. I...oh my... mind fucking me now?"_

_He chuckles lightly and responds, "I plan on it, just you wait."_

_Fidgeting beneath his gaze and tedious ministrations, I watch as he glides his tongue effortlessly across the center between my boobs. Taking my left nipple into his mouth, I let my eyes roll back into my head at the magnificent suction occurring between his lips. He smiles briefly before he nibbles my taut peak, raking his teeth along the top and flicking it gingerly with his amazing tongue. My thighs begin rubbing together on their own accord, relishing in the friction it's creating._

_Pulling away, Emmett tsk his finger in my direction and dictates, "Those who seek a reward should not indulge themselves. If you want the prize at the end, you'll wait patiently. Those who disobey get punishment, my horny one."_

_Lowering himself back to his previous position, I thread my fingers through the sheets because DAMN, I really want that reward. Squirming slightly, I wait as Obi-Wan Kenobi makes sure to thoroughly cover every square inch of my chest with his mouth. As he proceeds to coat me with the slick moisture, I feel his appendages slide lower, fingertips dancing and gently squeezing on the outskirts of my curves. Anticipation floods my system as he works diligently towards the one place I need him most._

_"Yes, lower. Please, go lower."_

_Raising his neck, he alternates between nipping and talking, "You know, Bella, patience isn't one of your strong suits."_

_"Yeah, yeah, patience is a virtue and all that bullshit. Just get there fucking faster and forget about virtue all together."_

_As his fingers pass just below my navel, the silk sheets transform into a buffet full of breakfast delicacies._

_"Okay, so this is new, but I can roll with it."_

Suddenly, sunlight seeps into my subconscious and my amazing fantasy starts slipping away, even though I desperately try to grasp onto it.

Rolling over on my side, I huff, dragging my covers over my head. _Please, please let me fall peacefully back into a deep slumber. He was getting so close which means that I was getting close, too._

I wait patiently with my eyes closed tight, but I never succumb to the sleep I so anxiously seek. Reality settling in, I throw the covers off my face and sigh deeply, reminiscing over my most recent Emmett dream. Inhaling deeply, I blow the captured air out harshly, frustrated with the lack of unsatisfactory results from my rude awakening. Staring angrily out my window, I shake my fist and quietly shout, "Damn you, Sun." _Cockblocked even in my own dreams. What the hell?_

Then what I detect as pancakes, bacon, muffins, sausage, fresh fruit, and tons of other breakfast foods attack my senses and cause me to sit upright in bed with absolute confusion. _Is Edward home? No one else even knows how to work a stove, much less cook._

Throwing on the nearest items of clothing, I crack my door open and listen down the hallway. I hear bustling, cursing, and pans rattling and decide I need to investigate. I shuffle down the hall hesitantly, trying to recollect where we kept all the weapons in the apartment. _What? You never know, there are crazy people in this world, even ones that want to break into your house for the sole purpose of cooking themselves a meal._

Walking into the kitchen, my eyes are drawn to the countertop where mountains of mouthwatering food lay on display. _Was he planning on feeding an army or several hundred friends?_

Looking towards the stove, I see a very shirtless Emmett with low-slung pajama pants hugging his ass appreciatively. His sun-kissed skin looks even yummier next to the bright color of his royal blue bottoms. I watch as his back muscles flex inadvertently while he continues his enthusiastic work of the spatula in the skillet. His curls are slightly less organized than usual and gently bounce when he bobs his head to a song he's humming. I can't decide what looks more delicious, the amazing spread of food or him. _And that's only the back side, I'm sure the front is even easier on the eyes. _Bumping into the table, I catch his attention, and he turns around, beaming a dazzling smile at me. _Yep, the front is definitely something to look at. Wow!_

Turning back towards the stove, my eyes droop with sadness at the loss of hotness to ogle. "Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he says over his shoulders while steadily scrambling the eggs. "All these years the four of us have lived together and I've never noticed what your breakfast of choice is, isn't that ridiculous?" he finishes with a puzzled look in my direction.

Walking towards him, I respond, "Well, to be fair, I don't know your favorite either. Then again, you shovel everything down your throat so rapidly; it would be hard for me to make a distinction anyways. By the way, since when do you know how to cook?"

"That isn't fair, I'm a growing boy," he says with a slight chuckle, then smirking, he continues, "and I've been cooking for a long time. You never let anyone in the kitchen besides Eddie boy, so you wouldn't have the slightest clue. There is a lot you don't know about me, _Isabella_."

Waving my hand over all the appetizing spread, ignoring the use of my full name- _even though the way it sounds from his mouth is _hot- I say, "This I can see. I'm glad I was made aware of this fact because now you're helping with dinner duty." Then stepping closer to him, I pluck some of the eggs from the plate and pop them in my mouth. The eggs are light and fluffy and cooked to perfection. This reminds me that I never answered his question.

"Eggs are my favorite. I will take them in all their variations, but I'm a real sucker for a good, fried, sunny-side-up egg," I verbalize while rolling the food around in my mouth to keep from burning my tongue.

He grins and says, "I'll remember that for next time."

Then crossing the kitchen, I hop on the end of the bar and continue the conversation. "So, what about you?" I question while letting my fingers reach absentmindedly across the counter in search of a muffin and a piece of cantaloupe.

Waltzing to stand beside me, he props himself against the counter and alternates pulling up each corner of his mouth while furrowing his brow. I let out a small giggle because he just looks too damn cute when he's concentrating. A small smile appears on his lips accompanied with a cocked eyebrow as he asks, "What?"

"Nothing, you just look sort of adorable when you're thinking," I respond with ease.

"Really, how so?" he expresses with curiosity while the smile widens momentarily, dimples in place, as he plucks his own chocolate chip muffin and takes a bite.

"Well," I pause briefly to ponder exactly why it's so sweet, "it's like watching a cute little puppy chasing after its tail. It goes around and around with such dedication, a look of complete seriousness on its face while trying to figure out why it can't ever get to the damn thing, but it's hopeful. You can literally see the sparks in its eyes as it sorts for a resolution. But then again, it's just a puppy and puppies are adorable."

"Did you just compare me to a dog?" he questions while laughing his own little laugh, the laugh that belongs only to him.

"I, well yeah, I guess I kind of did. Well no, I actually compared you to a puppy, not a full-fledged dog. It's not like I called you wolf boy or anything," I say, answering his laughter with a chuckle or two of my own.

He then lifts me effortlessly off the counter and situates me on the ground saying, "Why don't you go have a seat at the table and I'll bring all this over so we can eat and talk some more. I didn't get up early to cook all this food just to have it go cold on us."

I simply nod my head and walk over to dining area.

* * *

Getting back to my room, I finally see my reflection in my mirror and I'm horrified. My hair is standing in every direction, I have mascara under my eyes- _hello Ms. Racoon_- and my clothing choices are a bit revealing to say the least. Why in heaven's name did I wear a tank and boy shorts with half of my ass hanging out to go investigate a break in? Shit, that's like an open invitation. More than that, Emmett definitely got an eyeful at one point or another; yet, he didn't say anything. I don't know whether to be happy he spared me the humiliation or worried that he didn't see a reason to comment in the first place. Doing a slow turn in the mirror, I inspect myself more closely. _Okay, so I'm no Rosalie Hale, but if I was a guy, I'd hit that. Maybe?_

Breakfast was so relaxing this morning. Conversation flowed easily as we joked about his favorite breakfast being chocolate chip pancakes with the Whip Cream works. I remember giggling when I asked him, "Are we fibe years wold and wanna sit on mommy's wittle wap?" Well, that lent itself to a further dishevelment of my already bed-head and his fingers getting trapped in my tangles. _Note to self- always make sure to brush your hair because you never know who or what tasty treat stands in the kitchen, please and thank you._

Finishing up, we washed dishes together, my dry to his wash. I thought that was nice of him, Emmett hates washing dishes. Through his griping about needing a dishwasher and constant complaining of prune fingers, he managed to weave his plans for a surprise trip for me today. That lead to an argument over my aversion to "surprises" and him telling me to "quit being a whiny priss and just accept something for once." That ended with an outwardly huff of acceptance, but being a tad excited on the inside.

Now, I'm getting ready for my surprise getaway with Emmett's only instructions being to "wear something comfortable and absolutely no heels." Sliding into a pair of white shorts, I pull a fitted royal blue tee with white lettering stating DOWN SOUTH over my head. I snicker as I wonder if he'll catch that I'm wearing this because I liked his pants so much at breakfast. In fact, I told him how that color made his skin glow. _Of course, I'm also paying homage to where I wanted him to venture in my dream this morning, but he doesn't need all the reasons for my clothing choices._

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

_Holy, sweet Lord, Mary, Joseph, and all the archangels. Heaven's gates have opened, Baby Jesus has descended, and I, Emmett McCarty, have been granted access to The Promise Land. _

How in God's name had I not noticed what she was wearing before her departure to her room? I mean, of course I noticed how her tank loosely folded around her breasts, and I might have sat immobilized in my chair when she leaned forward and I got a brief image of one nipple. But, her ass in those hip-showing, mind-blowing, erection-growing panties is simply amazing.

I all but full fledge run to my room, throw the door open, and slide down the wall. Banging my head against the door, I mumble, "Think," _thump, _"think," _thump,_ "think." _Okay, so if there is any chance of me making it through this day, I'm going to have to yank it in the shower._

Standing to my feet, I cross my room and enter my bathroom. I turn on the shower, setting the temperature of the water hot enough to create a good steam. Stepping in, I begin to think about this morning. I woke up early to prepare breakfast for Bella and me. Long before she came to live with us, I was the chef of the house. Edward only learning how to cook from me when he wanted to impress her. After she moved in, I just let them take over the task of preparing our meals. Why make the food when you can watch a game and the meal comes to you? _This isn't good whacking material, moving on._

_I remember when Bella first stepped in the kitchen this morning. Hearing her bump the table, I turned to greet her. And, God, was she sexy? Her hair falling in delicate waves along her shoulders. It was bed-head, sex hair multiplied by a million. The flushed look of her face further completed the "just been sexed" look. The red of her tank brought out the rose tint to her puckered lips and made her skin look flawless._ Taking my dick in my hands, I begin to stroke it slowly. Letting my fingernails glide down the side of my cock, I shiver as I tilt my hand back and let it rock against the bottom of my shaft as I travel toward the head again, dragging my nails harder as I go. _I imagine they're Bella's fingernails, the same ones she used to glide along my forearm this morning as she took some eggs from the plate and popped them between her lips. The buzz of the shower is her hum of appreciation as she shifted the food I cooked around in her mouth, rolling her tongue languidly with each chew. _

I take my thumb and swirl around the tip, taking some precum and the beaded water with my downward stroke. _I pretend that the moisture is her saliva as she takes my dick into her mouth, surrounding her lips around me completely. Her steady up and down motions accompanied with the tight suction cloud my brain, placing my arousal front and center._

Picking up tempo given that my dick is fully erect now, I begin to stroke quicker, seeing the end within grasp as the water glides over my hair, trickles down my back, and makes my fingers move with ease. _I remember when Bella jumped on the counter this morning, her legs draped over the bar and spread wide before me. This time I don't move to stand beside her, but settle myself in the groove between her thighs. Her lusty gaze staring directly into mine as she whispers, "I want you to fuck me now, Emmett." I make short work of her underwear and slide my cock deep inside her wet pussy. Her walls are tight and we both let tattered breaths escape us as we finally give in to our need, our want. I begin rocking into her, pulling her hips forward to meet each of my thrusts._

Leaning forward to rest my head and forearm on the tiles_, _I slide in and out of my hands easier. Letting my fingernails scrape harder against the side of my dick on the forward motion, and grip tighter on the way down, twisting my wrist at the base of my cock before sliding back forward. _Bella is laid out before me, pounding her own hips against me now, letting each of my motions penetrate her deeper. I reach forward and fondle her tits, lightly pinching her nipples in rhythm with my plunges, twisting tenderly as I pull out. Grabbing her forearms, I draw her up closer to my body, wanting to feel a new angle as we writhe in sync, our bodies working together to achieve the desired outcome._

My body begins to heat inwardly as images of me fucking Bella dance behind my eyelids. _She then works her lips up my jaw until the rest against my own. We kiss with all the desire we can muster, our vigor extinguished with the exertion of energy required to fuck so enthusiastically. With eager breaths, she screams, "Come for me now." _Rocking my hips once more, shards of light explode within my brain as ecstasy falls around me. Panting out her name, I let the cum drip from my fingers and swirl down the drain.

As the water begins to turn cold, I hurriedly wash my body and shampoo my hair. Stepping out, I towel off quickly and wrap the towel around my waist. Cleaning the steam off my mirror, I apply shaving cream to get rid of my 5'oclock shadow. I hear tapping at my door and move to answer it. Swinging it open, I find a wide-eyed Bella standing before me.

"I…uh…oh boy," she says while trying to divert her gaze around the room, but ultimately coming to rest her eyes on me once again. Visibly gulping, she runs her fingers through the strands of her hair and looks down while shuffling her feet.

Remembering I'm only in a towel, I ask while shooting her a grin, "Is there anything you need?"

Jerking her head up, she looks me in my eyes and opens and closes her mouth several times. As her eyes rake over my frame once more, I see the turmoil raging inside her as she tries to gather her thoughts. Then, the clothing in her hands catches her attention. Stumbling over her words, she answers, "Well, you see, I'm about to pop one off. No, the dryer went off. I opened it to see what was in it and saw your clothes. I figured I'd drop my panties. Shit, these, your clothes off here…in your room…on the way to my room. I wouldn't, I mean, you see…fuck, I didn't know that you had just gotten out of the shower." She throws my clothes at me and finishes, "Well, here I am. I mean, those are your clothes, you might need them." She then raises her palm to her forehead and begins to grind it back and forth.

Holding back my amusement at her word vomit, I simply reply with a "Thank you" and a nod. She scans my room and my body once more and answers back with "You're hot, dammit, welcome. You're welcome." Turning on her heel, I watch as she sprints down the hall, shaking her head in noticeable embarrassment.

Opening her door, she turns around once more and hollers, "Don't shave it off."

"Huh?" I question, momentarily confused by her request.

She gestures by moving her hand in a circular motion around her face. "Don't shave. The stubble suits you." Then she smiles slightly and before I can say another word, she disappears into the confines of her room.

Next, I decide that this is going to be a good day. No, a really _great_ day.

* * *

Shifting the jeep's gear into 'parked' position, I turned to find Bella looking out the passenger side window. I unbuckle my seat belt and say, "Stay put."

I jump out and run around the front of the vehicle, open her door, and help her out of the harnesses, taking a little more time than necessary to unfasten the snap above her thighs. She just sits there beaming, her happiness evident in the way she takes in her surroundings.

"Oh, Em, I love it here," she says. Wrinkling her brow, she questions, "But how did you know?"

Taking her hand when she jumps from the sidestep, I settle her on the ground from her little leap and answer, "I also know more things about you than you think I do." _I hope she remembered my sentiment from earlier in the morning," There is a lot you don't know about me, Isabella."_

She settles a strand of hair behind her ear and retorts, "Is that a fact?"

Leaning down so that I'm eye level with her, I stroke the edge of her jaw and pick the eyelash off her cheek. Looking into her eyes, I say, "Yes, it's a fact." She inhales quickly, probably due to our close proximity, as I hold the eyelash near her lips.

"Make a wish, Bella. I hope everything you wish for comes true," I say with sincerity.

She gently grasps my finger with her delicate hands and her eyes flutter closed. Mumbles fall from her lips too quickly for me to catch and she softly blows, her cool breath sweeping across my finger and sending chills down my spine. She slowly opens her eyes and smiles. "I hope so, too," she whispers.

Pulling away from her slowly, I stand and take a glance around the area. I brought her to Lady Bird Lake in downtown Austin. It's really the Colorado River trapped between two dams, but it's located in the heart of our town, making it a great little getaway for the city. Spotting the canoe renting center, I instruct Bella to get the basket and bags in the back of the jeep and tell her I'll be back shortly.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Letting my eyes scan over the area, I breathe in the scent of nature at its finest. I usually come here on my own to work on my writing near the lakeside, or travel to the Botanical Gardens to read some Literature. I listen as the soft murmurings of others drift along the river much like they're riding the gentle waves of the lake. The Austin skyline in the distance makes for a unique backdrop, pleasantly mixing nature and city. The riverbank is encased with an expansive spread of trees, shrubbery, and colorful flowers. I turn my face towards the sun, letting its warmth encompass me. The wind shifts as a low clouding stretches sparingly in the distance. The end of summer is fast approaching and that usually means storms are as well. Turning around to let the cool summer breeze swirl around me, I look to find Emmett in a heated debate with two workers from the canoe rental place.

Watching intently, I can feel my mouth turning upwards as I watch in bewilderment at the scene unfolding before me. Emmett stands defiant, arms crossed in front of his broad chest with narrowed eyes staring down the two unsuspecting victims. He leans back briefly, shaking his head from left to right, stance wide and demanding, a bit arrogant. The confident worker points towards a large sign behind him, gesturing wildly with his hands. He's a bit cute with his All-American boyish qualities; tall, medium build, blond hair, and undermining attitude. But, I have to laugh at this kid, standing up to Emmett, really?

Next, my attention is drawn to the pimply, geek hedging toward blond boy's side. With a frightened scowl, he seems to be placating the situation a bit. I watch as he pushes back on his co-worker, trying to ease the tension between friend and foe. Poor guys, Emmett could break them both with the snap of his pinky. Finally, I see Emmett huff and grab the jackets, signifying that the disagreement is over. I watch as he stalks in my direction, irritation apparent in his frustrated features.

"So, what was all that about?" I ask curiously.

"Well, Beavis and Butthead informed me that it was 'policy' to wear these fucking ugly life vests during our outing. If we don't adhere to 'the rules' on the big ass board, then we forfeit our deposit," he answers, distraught for having to actually follow rules for once.

"It's no big deal, really. I don't mind wearing them," I state, trying to soothe his aggravated condition.

"No big deal, my ass. I bet this ugly fucker won't even fit me. I know how to swim, I've paid them my money, why can't Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass just let me canoe comfortably?" he berates once more.

"And I want you to canoe with content. If you want to leave, we can," I say, disappointment seeping in as I let my head fall forward, lip pouting as I sulk.

Emmett then takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head towards him, so that he can look into my eyes. "I'm sorry that I let those asstards get under my skin. It's not your fault that they have little-man-ego issues, and felt they had something to prove to me," he states, veracity lacing his every word.

"S'okay. I probably need it anyways. Knowing my luck, I'll tumble out of the boat and drop straight to the bottom if I don't wear the dumb thing," I say, openly admitting to my non-swimming skills.

Emmett fakes a gasp and covers his mouth before saying, "Bella, I'm insulted. I would never let you drown; you know this. That's far too much beauty to waste on the bottom of a reservoir."

We both chuckle as my traitorous blush spreads over my cheeks at his attempt on complimenting me. Then sighing, he turns to me and says, "Let's get this hideous contraption on you so we can get the day underway."

Turning to face him completely, I look down awkwardly at the vest, unsure if even it can save my life if I were to fall overboard. I inwardly laugh as Emmett rotates it around in his hands, confused at the proper mechanics of such an ugly accessory. Letting his fingers fumble around the cords as a few curses slide from his lips, he looks at me once more. I shake my head 'no' because there is no way that I know how it goes, and he exhales grumpily.

Finally, his fingers work towards the hidden clasp in the center as he unbuckles it with an exaggerated "Aha!" Holding it up to me once more, he gives it a little shake and says, "Who's the genius now?"

Quaking with silent giggles, I ask, "So, are you going to help me in it or not?"

Stepping forward, he holds it open for me, guiding my left arm in its correct hole. Then stepping close, he lets his arms reach around my back, bringing the vest up so I could deposit my right arm in the proper hole as well. He slides his fingers down the vest in search of the buckles. Realizing they must have slipped from their standard position, he reaches forward again with his arms around my body. I take the opportunity to let his scent surround me, tickling the tip of my nose as I breathed him in eagerly, such an exquisite smell. Turning my head to the side, I reach forward to slide my fingers through one of his curls, caressing it a bit before letting it fall from my moderate clutch. He then angles his head, eyes peering at me with a sideways glance, smirking as he pulls forward, straps securely in his grasp. Threading them back through their appropriate holders, he fastens the buckle firmly.

Slowly he leans back, his eyes darting from the space between the vest, where my boobs were housed, and my face, licking his lips as his form retreats away from my body.

I bite my lower lip apprehensively as his eyes rake over my form. I want to throw my arms in the air and shout, "How do I look?" but refrain from my moment of stupidity. He shakes his head, curls bouncing slightly in the breeze as he assesses his work and says, "Good Lord, Bells, you're practically swimming in the damn thing."

Stepping forward again, he places his hand across the chest portion of the vest using it for leverage as he grabs the strap in an effort to tighten it to a suitable fitting. Jerking my body forward with his strained pull, I pump into his chest, placing my fingers along his muscles in an effort to steady myself. Backing away slowly, I look into his eyes as he utters a quick apology. My eyes slowly travel down to where his hand is cupping my breast and pause momentarily, stunned at how even my fantasies didn't get it right. _I'm such a loser. This is only an accidental, above the shirt boob grab, but it feels sort of…nice. _

His fingers must have slid between the opening when I fell into him. Indolently, his eyes drop to where my gaze is fixed. Realization of his slipup contorting his face, he recovers by apologizing again and removes his hand, my heartbeat reaching dangerous levels as it vibrates embarrassingly loud in my chest. Then, he places my hands back over his pecs and tells me to hold them there while he adjusts the straps. _No problem, Captain. _I comply, trying to fight the need to lunge at his lips due to the loss of his touch on my breast. I wait patiently as he tugs on the strap, my fingers practically welded to his chest as I take the chance of feeling his muscles greedily. Finally stepping back, he squeezes into his jacket and we take off in search of our canoe.

* * *

_**EmPov**_

Situating Bella and the bags inside the canoe, I push it off the bank and jump in with ease. We are finally on our journey down the Colorado River. Letting the breeze carry us mostly, I sit at the front, rowing backwards carrying the brunt of the work on my shoulders, _literally_. Bella is positioned so that she can steer and row more lightly. As we work our way down the river, both of us settle into small talk, nothing of consequence coming up between us. I watch as her toned arms work diligently but begin to slow with the work of paddling after a good ten minutes. I watch sympathetically as she continues to do her share of the work, but becomes weaker and weaker as we slice through the water. Wanting to spare some of her energy for our hike later, I ask, "Bella, why don't you rest a bit and I'll get us to the docking station?"

After much debate, she finally agrees that she's fatigued and will give her limbs a breather. Getting up to change positions, Bella clutches the edge of the canoe with wide eyes and screeches, "Emmett, what the hell are you doing?" as the small boat rocks dangerously close to the water from side to side.

"I have to sit down there so I can steer the canoe, Silly," I say, chuckling slightly at her frightened, but fierce expression.

I watch as comprehension crosses her face and her lips curve into a small 'O.'

She slumps down to her knees in an effort to crawl across the tiny space to retake my position, but I grab her hips and pull her back towards me. Sliding off the seat and settling in the bottom of the canoe, I open my legs and motion for her to sit between them. I watch as she picks at her bottom lip, mulling over my silent question. Then turning around, she scoots in between my legs, resting her head against my chest. I take back to rowing from side to side, guiding us to our next destination. We fall into an easy silence, her eyes closing as the sun beams down on her, the breeze blowing tendrils across her face. I watch in earnest as she wiggles her nose as the brown strands dance across her face, my gaze following her brow as it arches upwards in response to some thought she didn't care to share. My gaze slides lower as I take perceptive notice of the way her dark lashes skim the edges of her cheek, a nice contrast to the creamy color of her skin. I watch in admiration as she idly chews her bottom lip without even realizing she's doing it, obviously caught up in her own contemplations. At this point I want to hear her every thoughts, know exactly what she's idealizing. More than that, I want her to choose to tell me. Studying her so admirably, I feel desires stirring within me that I never knew existed before this moment.

Allowing myself to reflect, I wonder how things could be different had I met someone like Bella in my college days. Someone who was insecure, shy, seeking intelligence and not only looking for a good time, but truly there to expand their horizons, exert their true potential and makes something of themselves. I was always confronted with the easy skanks looking to sink their teeth into a prospecting athlete, the next Mr. Rich and Famous. I picture petite Bella holed up in the library, enthusiastically devouring her literature books, wholesome beauty leaking from every pore in her skin. _But had I met Bella, where does that leave room in my life for my whole reason for living, Rosalie? _

Mentally scolding myself for such carelessness, I return my stare back to Bella's relaxed form. Again my eyes hold fixedly to her lips as they part, her breathing slow and steady, and my thoughts are drawn back to the night of our almost first kiss. My stare rakes a little further as I watch the repulsive orange vest work its way back and forth slowly with the rise and fall of her chest. Letting my eyes work a little further south, I look at how her knees are bent, shoes lying flat against the metal of the canoe as the sun sends cascading ribbons of light across her curved, lustrous skin. Legs apart, it wouldn't take much effort to work my fingers over her thighs and touch the destination I long to feel. Remembering her shirt, I consider briefly if those were instructions. Snapping my eyes forward, I scan the sides of the water, looking for an area to rest and possibly take Bella like I've dreamed of doing for so long. _Would she even let me? Could I truly abandon my plans for today of foregoing sexual advances towards her? _However, before I can let my thoughts wonder any further, my eyes land on the loading dock and we are at the next location all too soon. I look down at Bella's white shorts one last time and smile.

Taking my paddle, I dip it in the water and bring it out quickly. While switching from my right to my left side, rivulets of water drip from the ore and land directly in her lap, making more of her bare to me. She hasn't yet stirred from her nap, so I continue with my new game, "What color are Bella's underwear?" After a few more passes, her brow starts to twitch as I lean down, the pink of her panties becoming clearer. As we drift towards the shoreline, I lay the paddle down and use my hands. Scooping a handful of water, I dump it leisurely across her shorts finishing my view of her pink bikini bottoms complete with a little bow. Trying to choke down a chuckle, my eyes wonder back up to Bella to find that she's staring at me with one eye open. _Uh-oh!_

"Emmett McCarty, just what the hell do you think you're doing?" she questions while cocking an eyebrow.

Holding up my hands in surrender, I say, "It was an accident, I swear."

"Accident my ass," she says while leaning over the side to splash water towards me. This little battle continuing until we are both slightly soaked and a worker comes over interrupting our fun, snapping, "We have a couple waiting on this canoe." _What is up with these employees? Do they have to take some kind of oath promising to act like a dick at every given moment? _

Stepping out of the canoe, I offer Bella my hand and grab the bags. Spotting a semi-shaded area across the way and away from other visitors, I lead us over and separate the quilt, making us a comfy pallet to sit on while we enjoy our picnic and let our clothes dry in the sun.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Settling comfortably across from one another, Emmett opens the basket and takes some baked chicken, grilled corn and zucchini, rolls, and sliced cheese and grapes. Then, he sets out two glasses and a very decorative bottle of wine. We eat, occasionally speaking but mostly just soak up our surroundings and enjoy one another's company. In the mist of our silence, I could hear the faint sounds of live music playing from one of the venues in the distance. I feel my body automatically sway to the rhythm of the classical tunes.

Emmett then leans forwards and says softly, "They're supposed to be having so sort of classical concert today. I tried to arrange it so that we'd be around during the time they played. I know how you love your arts."

Smiling at his consideration, I reply, "Thank you. That's very thoughtful of you."

He then begins digging in his bag and pulls out a pamphlet, not just any pamphlet, but my notebook. Noticing the hint of anger, he quickly says, "I promise I didn't look at it. I just remembered that you like to come here and write. I wasn't trying to be nosy, I just wanted you to have it in case you felt inspired." Immediately, guilt creeps into my system in response to his genuine motives, and I apologize.

Edging towards me gradually, he lies back on the quilt, staring up towards the clouds that are steadily moving in and notes, "Looks like it might rain. We might have to pack it in early. I had planned on staying until sunset."

Lying back perpendicular to him, I let my head rest on his chest as he pulls my hair out from behind my head, splaying it out across his shoulder. Twirling it within his fingers, he looks towards me and smiles dazzlingly, his dimples firmly in place and his eyes captivating me with their bright sparkle. Finally answering him, I say, "Any time at all is good enough for me." He nods his head and lets his eyes slip closed. Continually letting his fingers stroke through my hair, we are again engulfed with a sweet silence, temporarily lost to our own thoughts. My thoughts are centered around him, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking of me, too. Turning towards him, a small smile plays upon my lips. Reaching forward, I stroke my finger across the stubble he must have left for me. I let my fist curl into his chest as my eyes begin to fall, surrendering to my drowsiness after a full meal, the wine making me rest with ease as memories of him only in a towel pull me into a deep sleep.

* * *

Feeling my weight being shifted and my head lolling to one side, I peek one eye open slowly, trying to get a bearing on where I was. Emmett grins and says, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. You just looked so uncomfortable and I didn't want you to get a crick in your neck. You were sleeping so peacefully."

Letting his fingers work away the kinks and my rigidness, I respond with a whisper, "I just hope I didn't talk."

He leans forward, letting his lips rest next to my ear and softly replies, "Yes, you did, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You probably don't even realize how beautiful you are when you're sleeping, do you?" _Did he really just call me "beautiful" for the second time today?_

Backing away slowly, he looks at me and I feel my eyes widen ever-so-slightly beneath the emotional brunt of his words. I allow my head to flounder from side to side as a "no" lingers on my lips, not quite sure if I'm answering his question or making a silent plea for him not to continue with his actions. My breath hitching in the back of my throat under his intense gaze, as I try to swallow down my edginess as every nerve ending in my body is suddenly heightened to his close proximity. Letting his gaze reallocate to my mouth, I watch with weighted breaths as he closes his eyes and his face hedges closer, us sitting cheek to cheek, our lips nothing but a whisper apart. Closing my eyes, I feel the pressure of his pout languorously descend upon mine as I fist my hands in the light fabric of the quilt, trying to keep my desire at bay and not attack him feverishly. Feeling his cool breath blow across my lips, I relax into him and let our mouths fuse until our breathing is shared. He pulls away slightly, and I watch through half-hooded eyes as he mouth curves into a smirk before his brings his hand forward to caress the nape of my neck, my body tensing slightly from his tender touch. Rubbing gentle, comforting circles around my sensitive neckline, he leans forward cautiously, his lips coming to unite with mine once more. I feel my heart ricocheting off my ribs as it beats frenziedly in my chest, a bead of sweat running down the side of my temple as my brain goes to war with my body over the importance of my current position. Running his tongue lazily along my bottom lip, time ticks by sluggishly as I try to wrap my thoughts around the moment. Realizing we are seconds away from our first real kiss, my inner turmoil rages- kiss and progress or delay because there's no going back after we share this. The delicacy of the situation front is center in my dubious brain as his sweet moisture continues to glide along my lip. Finally, my lust for him reaching its highest peak yet, I decide to allow his entrance, tentatively parting my lips and awaiting propinquity of his tongue.

Hearing a throat clearing above us, I gasp and back away from his mouth, his fingers at the base of my neck not allowing me to voyage that far. He leans his forehead against mine and mumbles almost inaudibly, "Not again. Not this time, dammit. Why?" Finally letting his fingers descend from their spot on my neck, he backs away and looks irritatingly towards the uniformed guy before us as I sit and massage my lips, missing the warmth they just procured. "Is there anything we can help you with, Sir?" Emmett asks, his words dripping with annoyance.

The park ranger tips his hat in our direction and states, "Ma'am, Sir. I'm just coming around giving everyone the warning about the severe weather headed our way. I'm supposed to inform you of the dangers of staying around camp and the possible tornado activity that could accompany the storm. Our advice is to pack it up and head in early just for safety precautions. You two have a good night." And with that, we both stare at the officer's retreating form. Looking towards the sky, we both see that the thunderheads ascended upon us during our little nap and confirm what the ranger just said.

Emmett hurriedly packs our bags, and we are off on our hike towards the jeep within minutes. Holding my hand, he navigates me over the small roots and stumps along the riverside, not much being spoken between us as he concentrates on the path and I focus on my footing. Getting back to the vehicle an hour later, we head home. Sitting quietly in my seat, I stare at the window as the rain comes in, the droplets streaming down the glass as I think back over our almost second kiss. It seemed within reach only moments ago, but feels like a distant memory as we travel over the expansive highway, carrying us further away from our secluded, whimsical afternoon together along the riverbank.

We arrive home, both remaining silent, not quite sure where to pick up after the activities of this afternoon. I usher him into the living room to watch the weather as I inhabit the kitchen, happy to have the distraction of cooking to take away the heaviness of the atmosphere. Again, we ate in wordless, stealing glances at one another on occasion, but neither of us mature enough to bring up the events of earlier. Saying our goodnights, we both flee to our rooms, equally too cowardice to clear the air.

* * *

Waking with a start, I spring from my pillow, letting my eyes shift from various items in my room. Again the thunder sounds and I pull the covers snuggly towards my body. The lightning then brightens my space once again and causes me to jump, goosebumps appearing within seconds in my fearful state. My body begins to tremble more hauntingly once the thunder crashes, causes the apartment to quake under its forcefulness. _I can handle the rain, but I don't like storms; they scare the shit out of me._

I grip my pillow violently as several more rounds of thunder and lightening shake the structure of my home, before I bolt from my bed. Feeling along the walls, I tiptoe up the hall, searching for the one room that I might find solace. Tapping lightly, the door creaks open.

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

I could hear things being thrashed around outside in the storm. I'm not really affected by them, living here most of my life, a storm is as simple as the sun shining, it's going to happen eventually. However, I know the stronger storms terrify Bella and I begin to worry about her. Before I can get up to go check on her, I hear a drumming at my door and immediately know it's her after listening to the door screech. Scooting over in my bed to make room, I lift the covers allowing her to slide in. I listen as her bare feet pad across the floor and feel the bed sink down with her presence. Instantly, I regret this predicament that I've gotten myself into. The moment her petite frame sinks into my bed, I'm attacked with her sweet feminine smell and practically being pulled in her direction by some unknown force. My body faces off with my head and my heart, as it tries to convince me to reach out and touch her. My weakness and my fear wins out in the end, rendering me motionless. My mind tries to decipher a way to broach the subject of our second "almost kiss." I want to ask her what she's thinking, if she's okay, but I'm powerless to the amount of clothing she may or may not be wearing, and I'm too terrified to move an inch. Staying to my side of the bed, I try to give her the comfort of having someone near without invading her privacy.

That soon changes because I she blows out a forceful breath and scooches closer to me beneath the sheets, the tender passes of her skin, amplifying my awareness of just how close she truly is. A short time passes and I feel her squirm minutely and ruffle the sheets with her legs, the silkiness of her skin passing absently against mine. Feeling the need to be a gentleman, I think to myself about asking if she'd like my bed, feeling she'd be more comfortable if I weren't so close. Then I feel her turn towards me, the bed submerging beneath her weight as an unsteady breath blows across my back. Tensing slightly as my eyes grow wide her unexpected actions, I feel a shaky finger rise up my back and tap me on my shoulder. Rolling vigilantly around to face her, she looks at me sheepishly while whispering, "If it isn't too much of an inconvenience, would you mind holding me?" Her face looks defeated, surely from having to be the first to speak. _Good going there, Jerkoff, you should have said something sooner. Some gentleman you are? _Berating myself a bit more, I quiet my inner war by stating that cuddling was the last thing I thought she'd want.

I roll my eyes at her absurdness and answer honestly. "Bella, you could never be a nuisance." Gently turning her over, I pull her into my chest and begin to rub along her shoulder and arm until I feel her relax against me. As her breaths become slower and deeper, I stroke her hair and whisper, "Good night, Bella. I hope the sweetest dreams accompany you tonight." Kissing the top of her head, I settle in for a long night. Having her close, yet so far away, I know a restful sleep won't find me easily. Quietly chanting what seems to be our mantra, "Tomorrow is a new day," in tempo with the drums of thunder and the sheets of rain, I lean down and eagerly breathe in the sweet hints of strawberries and freesia, letting it relax me gradually. I feel my own eyes growing heavy with exhaustion, clearly my muscles overworked from such a long day. Before finally succumbing to sleep, I note that we would soon run out of tomorrows, so I need to work on today.

_

* * *

_

**A/N: ****A/N: Yep, I'm a wordy bitch.**

**Okay, so that was it. What was your opinion? Was there anything that you wish I had done different, or did you love or hate it all? What would you like to see happen next time? Seriously, it doesn't take but a second, and I'd love some feedback. *whispers* I'm not above begging, I'm good on my knees. Whoa, where did that come from, hehe?**

**Next order of business, *gets on my knees and praises* Live 720, you are my life now. No, seriously people, she was there helping me hammer this monstrosity out every step of the way. She pulled me away from the ledge when I lost all faith, but more importantly, there were several bits that I all in all stole word for word from her. Thanks, honey, for being the best, beta-wifey ever.**

**Lastly, the awesome Nicci started a thread for this little fic on Twilighted, the link for it can be found on my profile. I adore you all.**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	4. Chapter 4: Counting the Reps

**First, thanks so much for all those that review, favorite, alert, whatever, I love them all. For those reviews I can't reply to, I thank you. It means the world to me that you take the time to leave me feedback.**

**Next, sorry I'm so fail at updating. I know there aren't many excuses, but I blame kids, husband, Rob, my SOB bitches, my BBR loves, my RoaR hoodlums, Emmett being an emo bitch, and my cyber-wifey who's RL sucks ass right now. However, this is my longest chapter yet. That makes up for it, right?!**

***Edit: When the nominations were available for viewing, I had been nominated for three categories in the TwiFic Awards. I'm just amazed and thankful for everyone that nominated me. Go nominate your favorite stories & mine if you see fit at www(dot)twificawards(dot)webs(dot)com.**

***Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.**

_*****DISCLAIMER**__**:*** All publicly recognizable characters, plot, music, Germ-X, Jello??? and whatever else I throw in there, all belong to their respective owners. I don't own jack shit, but a bottle of Cuervo and a mouth that would scare the pants of any drug dealer. Read on.......**_

* * *

"**Chapter 4: Counting the Reps"**

_**EmPov**_

"Mmm, Emmett, you taste so good," she says while she licks the corner of her lips.

I let my head thrash against me pillow for the hundredth time in so much as five minutes as a soft groan escapes between my lips. Hearing her say such seductive words in her sleep is making me battle the urge to roll her over and bury my dick balls deep into her waiting heat. The sweet scent of her arousal lightly penetrating the air as she opens and closes her legs, exposing her damp undergarments to me as her lower legs tangle even further in the sheets. Her sheer wifebeater rising an exiguous amount to show a strip of skin above and below her navel as her heavy panting causes her diaphragm to expand and contract at a staggering rate.

Rolling to her side, her ample ass collides with my noticeably hard cock as a shudder ripples throughout my body from the sublime feeling of contact. I reach out with my hand and touch the small of her back, trying to ease her forward, careful not to wake her as I try to free myself from this hell. The irrational, more perverted side of me wants to stay and further explore her lust for me. _Wait, does having erotic dreams about a person mean you desire them outside of dreamland? _The more logical side of me realizes how wrong this whole situation is, noting if she wants me to know these details that she would openly discuss them with me while she wasn't sleeping. _Do I stay and embrace my depraved side, or escape, claiming my more honorable half, giving Bella the privacy she deserves? Decisions can be extremely tough sometimes._

Much to my disdain, her hips hurriedly ease back to their previous position, her body unconsciously seeking out the sanctuary of mine. She unknowingly begins to grind her soft derriere against the taut muscles of my upper leg, her supple cheeks dancing along my open palms. _Un-motherfucking-believable._ She turns the upper portion of her torso minutely, her top wrapping firmly against her bare tits as her rose-colored nipples become visible through the fabric just as her legs begin to interlace with mine. Slowly my whole brain is encased with the way her tempting curves mold so appetizingly well with mine, my heart thundering in my chest as her whispering moans slither their way into my ear, vibrating in my inner thoughts, and sending chills down to my toes. I hold my breath as her fingers work fastidiously up my thighs as she mumbles softly, "I want you. Take me now. Please." _You've got to be kidding me!_

Perspiration rises in droplets across my forehead and slides laggardly over the surface of my back as I tell myself repeatedly this is only a dream, a dream that we both share, but a statement she needs to confirm while she's awake before I can ever act on it nonetheless. Understanding my limits, I gently extricate her lustrous limbs from mine, guiding her body effortlessly away from me until our frames no longer touch. She rolls to her back, arching it away from the sheets, curving her body wantonly towards the ceiling, her chest only being visual with the flashes of light. I stand from the bed, watching her restless form as she continues to act out her dream, her body squirming from side to side, her hips swaying coarsely, enchanting me as if she is dancing to the drumming of the thunder as she fists her hair and hushed whimpers surge from her mouth. Running my hand through my damp curls, I turn to exit the room for the second time tonight, glancing over my shoulder briefly for one last look. _Damn man, you're a hell of a lot stronger than you thought you were, good job._

I left earlier for the exact reason I'm abandoning my room this time around. Bella is so vocal in her sleep, practically screaming as she sprawls her legs, thrusting, and turning, completely enraptured with her fantasies. Her moans reverberate around the room and she speaks so exquisitely, telling me all the things I've longed to hear for so long and all the things I intend to act on. _Eventually. Hopefully._

Opening the door to the refrigerator, my fingers glide over various surfaces, trying to locate the tea pitcher in the dark. The power went off shortly after Bella and I drifted off to sleep, making this night seem even longer without the comfort of an air-conditioner or the television. _Nothing like watching a bunch of guys in tights on ESPN to pull you right out of the mood. Sadly I wouldn't find the relief of the constant banter of my favorite Sportscasters tonight. _The loneliness every present in my thoughts as I set solitary in the dark, the rumbling of the storm matching my heart beat for beat. This agitates me even more because I hadn't gotten to talk to Rose tonight either, feeling at fault for not calling her sooner in the day and missing her more than I had in a while. Pouring me a glass, I relocate myself by the table, pulling out a chair and watching the storm rage on outside my window, seeking out the memories of when times weren't so complicated. Nothing. I tap my fingers on the tabletop as I work through my inner emotions, battling myself on what the right thing to do is in this situation.

A few glasses of tea and several hours later, I reach a consensus on what to do. First on the agenda, I need to grow a pair and discuss our almost second kiss, and why not add in the first while I'm at it. Secondly, I need to grab my junk and man the fuck up, tell her all about the desires I've held for her for so long. Thirdly, I'll ask her if I'm alone in my compulsion to have her, to be _**with**_her, and let her know about having Rose's blessing. I'll also discuss with her that I will only continue if she feels the same for me, no pressure from my side of things. I can already feel the bile rising in my throat at the thought of her rejection. _I don't think I've ever been turned down before, and if it were to come from someone I have to look at daily, I might die of humiliation and hurt. Not to mention the tension it could cause between my best friend and me. It's funny how when I look at Bella in a sexual manner, my thoughts of our real lives seem to drift away and I'm instantly carried to some fantasy world where only she and I exist._

I continue to sit in the kitchen until the sun breaks across the sky, contemplating over all the things I need to express and the exact way I need to go about getting them out in the open. Standing up and stretching, I rub my hand across my bare chest and take an unsettling breath. My fingers working actively through my damp locks, I look down the long hallway that guides me to my room and feel the presence of panic in the back of my mind telling me to abandon this ludicrous idea before I fuck everything up, there is never room for second chances. _Can I do this? Can I be a fucking man for one damn day and say what needs to be said? If anything, can I say it for her? Can I say it so she doesn't have to?_

Walking down the hall, my fingers start to tremble and my heart is clenching and unclenching so tightly, I'm afraid I'm on the verge of a heart attack. Having a quick pep-talk with myself, I immediately decide not to look at her body because it will always be my undoing. Right now is not the time for memorizing her curves- _as if I don't already have them engraved in my brain- _but for talking. I crack my door open, and cover my eyes, afraid of what position I'll find her in and needing to stay as focused as possible. Peaking through small slits in between my fingers, I exhale hastily. _Oh my fucking hell! Someone, shoot me now please. Today definitely needs to be _that_ day._

I feel like all time has completely stopped as I study her sleeping form. The soft light of the sun seeping through the curtains casting a lush glow over her relaxed body. Her hair splayed across the white pillowcase, the red tint highlighting her dark waves. The softness of her skin slick with sweat from her enthusiastic dreaming and the humidity permeating the air. Her arm is draped across her midriff as her left hand cups her breast through her shirt which is twisted dangerously just below the swell of her boob. My appraising eyes travel farther down her body as I look disbelievingly at her right hand laying just below the band of her boyshorts. _Ugh, sweet heavens. _Turning around to face the wall, I lean my palms against the door frame, letting my face fall forward, scolding myself for thinking I could come in here and not outright ogle her body while she slept. _Idiot. Fool. Thank God she isn't talking, but damn, the single thought of her touching herself is enough to require immediate paramedic attention. Hello, new wanking material!_

Pushing myself away from the molding around the door, I turn around and take another fucking flustered breath. _I think I might need_ _visit the local physician, there's a possibility I'm developing asthma with all my ragged breathing. _Walking cautiously towards the bed, I look over her body once more before I grab the sheet from the floor and cover her libidinous body, paradise lying just below the thin material. Leaning over her stilled frame, I place my left palm carefully into the mattress as I lean down, taking a dark strand of her hair and brushing it away from her face. _Damn, she is so fucking sexy. _Watching her eyelids flutter, I hold my breath and remain as motionless as possible. She exhales gently, her warm breath fanning across my chest and tickling me, causing the scattered hair to stand on end. Smiling, I lean down tenuously and my lips sweep across her hair, secretly breathing in the hint of sweetness that lulled me to sleep the night before, lingering a second longer than necessary, to consumed with desire to back away.

Hearing a squeak just below me, I pull away to find a dazed Bella looking at me with curious eyes as she suspiciously takes in her surroundings, me included. "Good morning, Chatterbox," I announce with a wink, observing her face as the accustomed pink hue creeps along her cheeks. Before I could tell her not to be shy about it, the covers rapidly shield her face as muffled groans sound below the fabric, "Why me?"

I laugh loudly, even my own volume startling me in the calm of the room. I extend my hand to the top of her hidden face, tugging on the covers lightly to try and get her out from beneath them. She doesn't comply, so I use a more abrasive jerk, but her fingers are too deeply intertwined in the material and it doesn't relent. I grin wickedly as a new course of action takes root in my brain. Feeling dexterously along the planes of the cotton fabric, my fingers ghost along the threads and the curves of her body. Sweeping dangerously close to the side of her right boob, I bypass her swells slowly and finally my fingertips rest easily against one of her ribs. Sensing the tension in her body, I poke teasingly and watch as her body twitches and a small melodic laughter chimes just below the white material.

"Are you ready to come out yet?" I question, laughing lightly at the playfulness of everything, amazed by the rollercoaster of emotions we always seem to be on. I survey her body, waiting for her brown hair to slide from beneath the sheet only to see the cloth sway from side to side, signaling her reluctance to grace me with her warm, cocoa-colored eyes. So, my bravery surging, I let my fingers circumspectly dance across her abdomen until I can gently poke her left side. Another round of giggles emerge from underneath the lightweight fabric as her body twists marginally to the left.

"It's all on you, Bella. Come out, come out," I tease lightheartedly, but see so resignation. So, I swirl my fingertips across her clothed stomach for a second time, making a zigzag design as I slide my fingers across to her right again. Then touching her more firmly, I connect both hands with each of her sides, and say, "This is your last chance." Still, I'm met with silence, so I apply pressure to the soft curvature above her hips until she's quaking with laughter. Through quick pants, she says, "I give, I give," as the fabric loosens with her released grasp.

Chuckling, I remove the covers and watch as she exasperatingly blows the hair away from her face and flicks a few strands over her face with her dainty fingers, her lone smile enough to out shadow the warmth of the sun. Her beauty is refreshing, her previous laughter making her cheeks radiate more with a soft glow. _Such unique beauty, outside as well as in. I really am an debauched bastard._

I observe amusingly as she sits up and situates her back against my headboard, smoothing down her tousled hair and she looks downward watching her fingers fidget with a loose thread, a timid expression covering her face as she mumbles almost inaudibly, "Thanks for um, you know, letting me stay in here last night." _Ahhhhh, I get it now._

Letting recognition seep in, I ease onto the bed for the first time since she's awaken. I cautiously crawl across the bed on all fours and position my body to her right, letting my back rest flush against the headboard as well. Her hair falls in between us, shielding her profile from my line of sight as she picks at her cuticles, careful not to look in my direction. I reach forward, clasping the shiny tresses in my fingers and gently tuck them behind her ear. "It was my pleasure, Bella," I say, trying to convince her it was the truth. _More like my torture. _

She nods her head slowly, her eyebrows wrinkling and she chews absentmindedly on her bottom lip. Turning to face me, she asks shyly, "So, what did I say last night?"

Laughing heartily, I look as mortification appears in her eyes, contorting her face as she grunts, whispering, "That bad, huh? I guess I don't want to know then, do I?"

Pulling my knees up close to my body, my chin falls to my knees as I stare out across my room, fearing how to approach the subject, but needing to get it out in the open for the both of us. Taking a swift breath, I resituate my face, letting my cheek rest on my kneecap as I peer at her through a sideways glance and answer, "Well, you said several things, much of what I'm curious to know about. Bella…" I pause momentarily, gathering the last of my strength and finish, "I think we need to talk about yesterday. As a matter of fact, I think we need to talk about many days before that."

Immediately her hands fly to her face, covering it as she groans out behind them, "God, what the hell _did_ I say?"

I instantly feel horrible. _Dammit, I'm going about this all wrong. Chief Fuck-Up, front and center, please. _Dropping my legs back down to the bed, I shift my weight and turn to look at her eye to eye. I gently pull her fingers away from her face, her head leaning down to keep her eyes away from mine. _I hate that she hides from me. I wish we could get past this barrier she keeps putting up. _Lifting her face with my curved index finger, I smile mischievously, yet understandingly, and respond, "Nothing that you need to be ashamed of, but we really do need to talk."

The eminent blush pools in her cheeks as she nods apprehensively against my finger. I let my finger drop to my lap, as my own insecurities boil to the surface. Inhaling unsteadily, I say through jumbled thoughts, "Okay, so about yesterday and well, the other night at the ice cream shop, and well, why the fuck not add in the park while we're at it... I, um...." I trail off, noting her frazzled state as her eyes flash in acknowledgement and begin diverting everywhere in my room, but never meeting my eyes. _Dammit, I really am Captain Can't-Get-Shit-Right! Why is this so fucking difficult, we are two grown ass adults for Christ's sake?_

Gripping her shoulders sympathetically, I manage to capture her attention once more. I scan over her worried features, landing on the delicate bow of her lips, noticing the plumpness of the curve as it juts slightly forward and instinctively lick my own lips. _Dude, seriously, pull your shit together! _Shaking my head flippantly, I gather my thoughts once more until I perceive where her eyes are now focused. My hormones soar as her eyes are half-lidded and staring at my lips, knowing she wants to kiss me just as much. _Or so I hope, testosterone can be a deceiving bitch sometimes._

I muster the courage and whisper, "I wanted…no, I want to kis" **Ring. Ring. **I stop abruptly because of the fucking house phone ringing in the kitchen. _God, do you hate me? What have I done in this life to deserve this? _I huff in annoyance and speak unenthusiastically, "Well, I guess the power's back on. Oh yea, lucky us."

Bella scrutinizes me momentarily before jumping up from the bed, turning her body towards the door as I hurriedly grab her wrist, desperately needing her to stay so we can hash this out already. "Bella, please, just let it ring. It's probably some telemarketer anyways. I feel like if I don't say this now, I'm never going to be able to fucking get it out," I plea with her, trying to pull her back towards the bed. Her eyebrows raise minutely, as she looks towards the door to the hallway questioningly, before she relinquishes and kneels back down on the bed. _Damn, this is going to be even harder to get out the second time. If that piece of shit phone would be quiet for two seconds, maybe someone would be able to organize their feelings. Fucking finally! _The offending contraption finally stops howling, and we are left alone once again with the awkward tension in the air.

I scoot nearer to her on the bed, the mattress dipping forward, bringing me even closer as I rub soothing circles across the bridge of her hand. Silence falls around us as I try to sort out my scrambled thoughts and I look up to find Bella fixated on our hands, my thumb absentmindedly stroking the top of her knuckles as the hint of a smile appears on her lips as she waits for me to arrange everything I want to say. "Bella," I say extemporaneously, causing her to startle a bit because of the unexpected use of her name and the volume of which I spoke.

"Shit, Bella, I'm sorry," I say, huffing with provocation. "It doesn't seem like I can do this right to save my life. If I wasn't so fucking nervous about this…stuff, it wouldn't be as bad," I say insecurely.

Now it's her turn to soothe me, she reaches forward with her free hand, stroking soft strides up and down my forearm before offering me a weak smile. _At least she gets that this shit isn't the easiest of things to discuss. _Looking at from the gentle movements of her hands to the warmth she exudes from her adoring expression, I bring her hand into my lap and begin to stroke it lovingly with my thumb as I sense the feather-light touches of her fingertips as they brush the inside of my palm. Finally, she gives my hand a squeeze of encouragement and I find assuagement in her silent communication.

Thinking the band-aid approach would be the easiest approach, I candidly blurt, "I want to kiss you."

She instantly bites down on her lip, holding back a smile as her hand grasps my hand more firmly, her eyes trailing down my eyes to my lips. Her body leaning towards mine, her eyes flutter back to mine as she responds softly, "Emmett, I want to" she pauses, pulling away to stare at my cell vibrating furiously against my nightstand. _No, no, NO! You want to, you want to, what do you want, Bella? This shit is getting ridiculous. I have a feeling God finds amusement in my agony._

Watching her body slump forward, she looks gloomily from me back to the phone, still shaking buzzing furiously against the hard wood. I shoot her an apologetic look and lean back, swiping the devilish device, and lean back, settling her hand back in my lap. Not even looking at the Caller ID, I push the accept button and answer grumpily, "Hello."

"Hey, babe, did I wake you?" she ask, curiosity intermingling with her words.

Bella must have heard her voice and resituates herself on the bed, turning to leave and I grip her hand tightly, placing the phone in the crook of my neck and hold up a finger, signaling her to stay.

I hear Rose huff and I say quickly, "No, I've been awake for a few."

"Oh, well, do you know if Bella's awake? Edward's threatening to hop on a plane and fly back today, he's a bit freaked because of the tornado that landed fifteen miles away from Austin and knows how Bella is about storms. Then, when he couldn't get an answer on her cell or at the house, he went into panic mode. Is everything okay?" Rose rambles quickly.

My eyebrows shoot up and I stutter over my words, "Um… B-Bella, awake…uhh?" Bella's eyes widen as she looks at me worriedly, biting on the inside her cheek as she waits for me to finish.

I'm broken out of Bella and my staring contest with the boisterous guffaw of Rose as she replies, "Yes, Em, the B-B-B-Bella that stays down the hall from you. Are you okay, you big goof?" Then I hear muffled whispers and what sounds like, "They so did it," and then a round of laughter from a guy sounding similar to Edward. _Huh? _I can't help but feel a bit jealous that she's around someone else, but immediately swallow that down.

Running a shaky hand through my messy curls, I try to calm myself, it's not like Rose gives a shit anyways. "No Rose, I mean, yeah, we're fine, everything's okay. The power went off last night and it got pretty bad, but all is well. How is everything going for Edward and you?" I respond, paying more attention to Bella's defeated position than to what I'm saying. _Maybe I should have let her leave. What is she thinking?_

Responding quickly, Rose says, "Same here, everything is going good. I actually have to go because I have a spa appointment before another meeting today, but I'll talk to you later. I'll talk Edward off the ledge, but make sure you have Bella call him later whenever you see her."

"Oh, okay," I say, verbally hating myself for my uncanny ability of acting like a complete illiterate ass.

"Well, I'll talk to you later, babe. Bye, I love you," she says sweetly and pauses for my response. I look at Bella again and tense before I say, "Yeah, Rose, love you, too." I observe carefully as Bella's body slumps a little more, if it were even possible. Then, the line goes dead and I throw my phone to the bed.

"So, Rose says Edward wants you to call him. He is worried about you because of the storms last night. They have a meeting in a few hours," I state halfheartedly.

She simply bobs her head and pulls her hand away from mine as she eases up from the bed, never meeting my eyes. "Well, I better get to that then," she says even more unenthused than my previous statement and turns toward the door.

Watching her retreating form, I can't believe I'm just letting her walk away. I feel like I'm caught up in some fucked-up, melodramatic soap opera on television, always with the back and forth, always so close, yet so far away. Anxiety bubbling in my chest as I watch her shuffle further away from me. "Bella," I call out quickly, halting her in her near escape. She doesn't even turn around as she whispers, "Yeah?" I let my head fall forward, my insecurity once again winning out and mumble, "Nothing, never mind, it's not important."

She doesn't respond at all, just keeps trudging forward, her feet barely making any sound as she walks out of my room and down the hall. I fall backward to the bead, landing in a heap of fluffy bedding and pillows, but not finding comfort as I run my fingers harshly over my face and stare up at the ceiling. I roll to the side and run my hands over the place where Bella lay this morning, the sight of her seductive, inviting, and gorgeous. I let my fingers skate across the sheer pillowcase, almost feeling the perfect twists of her hair; shiny, wholesome, silky, beautiful. Pulling up the sheet, I smell the fabric where her scent still lingers; captivating, sensuous, sweet, and alluring. I lick my fingers, the taste of her still present on me from feeling her last night and early this morning, the tips of fingers stroking my palm; salty, sugary, exquisite, and delicious. Here in my bed alone, I'm able to absorb all the things I desire while positioned in a cocoon of Bella and it ultimately comes to her. I want her.

Pushing off the bed with my elbows, I decide I need to go to the gym. I didn't make it yesterday and it always clears my mind, puts things in perspective, helps me focus.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, I wipe off the mirror and notice the stubble on my chin. Immediately my thoughts travel to yesterday as I chuckle, remembering Bella's abashed state and her asking me to leave the short hair. _Maybe I should invite her to the gym, I had planned on taking her one day anyways. Perhaps she needs it just as much as me. It can't hurt to ask, can it?_

Snatching up the t-shirt and gym shorts I laid out previously, I threw them on speedily and jogged down the hallway.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

I just got off the phone with Edward and slid down my door, letting my fingers work through the knots in this tangled nest of so-called hair. This morning was a blur of events and a whirlwind of emotions. My dreams becoming more vivid each night and leaving me more aroused each morning I wake from them. This morning, however, I woke to the man of those dreams hovering over me, the immediate vision of his brawny attractiveness

and his stimulating scent causing me to squeak below his beautiful body. _What was he doing? Why was he there? What did he want? So many questions that might not ever be answered. _Then the way he looked down at me, something deep heavily weighing him down as his azure eyes pierced me down to my very core, my soul. _Yes, that other central location included as well. _Then I had to live through the embarrassment of knowing he heard me talk in my sleep and we never got to what all I said, but I can only imagine. Through all the interruptions today, I do know what thing and it's making me giddy as a mother fucker. Emmett _**wants **_to kiss me. I feel all bubbly and shit as I throw my legs out in front of me, bouncing them silently as I bite my lip nearly into to keep my inner squeal muted. _Does this mean he wants things to happen just as bad as me?_

Suddenly, a sharp knock sounded at the door and a scream escaped me. Spinning around to face the door, I place my ear next to the door and screech out a, "Yes?" I feel his presence on the outside of my door, my head visualizing his palms propped against the door, the electric current complete when I press my hands against it as well.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he answers nervously.

"It's okay, did you, um, need something?" I ask, hunkering uncomfortably closer to the door, so near that I could hear his tattered breathing gusting against the door. _This situation seems to be really wearing him down, at least I can relate._

I watch as shadows dance from below my door, him evidently shuffling his feet. It's so weird how I've always perceived Emmett to be this strong, light-hearted person and these past few days I've seen hardly any of the person I thought I knew, especially this stuttering, unsure, hesitant person. Breaking me out of my thoughts, he questions reluctantly, seemingly hanging on my response, "Do you want to go to the gym with me today?"

_Hmmm, me, gym, sharp, heavy objects that could easily obliterate me, why not?_

To reflect my internal dialogue, I answer, "Sure, why not? Do I have time to take a shower?"

"REALLY!" burst joyfully from the other side of the door, causing me to jump and consequently hit my head on the door. _Ouch, son of a cocksucking bitch!_

Groaning, I ask while rubbing my forehead, "Yes, now about that shower, do I have time?"

"Yes, I can wait. I'll meet you in the living room," he said excitedly, and I watch as his feet bounce from beneath the door. _Now he's acting like a kid on crack. This is definitely a random day full of inconsistent emotions._

* * *

Arriving in the parking lot of the gym, I look at the lot packed with expensive automobiles and toned, attractive gym-goers and instantly my eyes travel over my own appearance. My hair is thrown up in a ratty ponytail, I have on a Longhorns college tee from a few years back, some fitted black shorts, and an old pair of sneakers. _Plain. _Just then, I felt a large hand slide to the small of my back as his head tilts to whisper in my ear, "You're perfect." Immediately my face as well as the rest of my body heats and I become a fumbling mess, tripping slightly over my own shoes and my heart kicking into overdrive. He guided me effortlessly to the front of the enormous steel structure with ground to roof tinted windows. Walking in the door, my mouth falls as my gaze travels over the expansive building, thousands of machines, some kind of courts in the far corner, a swimming pool, Jacuzzis, not to mention all the inhabitants. Most of the guys sweaty and huge, Emmett clearly fitting in with ease, standing out only because of the charisma and attitude he personifies. Me, on the other hand, I stuck out like a sore thumb. _More like a mangled hand with daggers destroying my flesh in a sea of hand models. _Although most of these girls weren't anywhere Rosalie's level, they could be her minions. Prissy, pretty girls with their shiny, bouncing curls, cute matching outfits and shoes, shrill, girly voices and make-up done to a near perfection. _Seriously, who wears make-up to work out? Ugh, fuck my life. _

Rounding the corner with Emmett, I'm directly confronted with Queen Prim and Proper herself. If Rose ever had competition, it is her. She's a blonde bombshell with piercing gray eyes, elongated, tan legs that appear to be made of silk, and a rack some Victoria Secret models would happily kill for. She gives me an hidden sneer as she addresses Emmett flirtatiously, "Hey! Coming in to work those overgrown muscles?"

Emmett places his hand further down my back, causing my heart to jump in my throat and brings me to stand directly beside him. "This is Bella, she's going to be joining me today, just put it on my tab," he says casually, like it's no bid deal. She gave me another look over and scoffs, questioning "So, where's Rosalie? Did you two break up?" _This girl really has some nerve. I'll be sure to put in a good word with Rose when she gets back._

"Rose is on a business trip. We'll talk to you later, Heidi," he says over his shoulder, guiding me towards some of the scariest apparatuses I've ever seen in my life. He dismissively goes over "the areas" we'd be working as I honestly try to follow every word that's falls from his lips, but usually find myself closely observing only his mouth. I follow him around like a lost puppy as he shows me around the machines, paying close attention to me and guiding me through my movements and enforcing the effectiveness of my workout. I watch eagerly as he works his chest and shoulders, watching his muscles curl, flex, strain, contract, and move strenuously with his deliberate use of them. Each time we change positions after the other's set, I find myself having more trouble concentrating after watching him and my limbs feel like jello. We arrive at the last machine, a pressing bench or was it a bench press? _Whatever, I just want to bend over it and let him press into me._

We finish our first two sets, him appearing to be more easy than mine and I am only lifting the bar. He leans back, wrapping his arms around to grab his back, swishing his hips from side to side in a stretching motion. Then interlocking his fingers, he lengthens his arms high above his head as leans back. His shirt rises while his back arches and his shorts hang even lower on his hips. _Sweet Jesus, sweet Jesus, Sweet. Jesus. There is only so much my weak, little heart can take. _Then I watch with ragged breaths as he pulls his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his forehead, exposing his appetizing six pack to my viewing pleasure. _I've seen his stomach more these past three days than I have the entire time I've lived with his ass. It's like he's doing that shit on purpose. Sneaky bastard, he probably is._

"Alright, Bells, I'm going to need you to count out my reps these next two sets. I'm going to have quite a bit of weight the bar, so it will be too tiring to have to concentrate on the weight, breathing, and counting. Do you mind?" he questions as I just stand there, still feasting over his sweaty body, not able to form a intelligent thought to save my life. Quirking his brow, he looks at me practically fixated on his damn treasure trail, unable to pull my eyes away. "Bella?" he asks again, beaming a smile pointedly at me.

"Yeah, yeah, um, don't you think you should get an employee to like spot you or whatever?" I retort, trying not to let the drool leak from my mouth.

He shakes his head nonchalantly and replies, "No, I have the weight, I just need you to count it out. You think you can _handle_ that?" while staring at me appraisingly. _Is he mocking me?_

"I'm sure I can _handle_ a lot of things," I say with a wink, causing him to chuckle slightly, before I add, "Let's see, I learned to count when I was three, so I'm pretty sure I can handle your _little_ task."

He laughs jovially and snaps back, "No, it's a _really big task_." _Is he flirting with me? Wait, am I flirting with him?_

"I'm sure it is, I'll try to meet it _head_ on," I respond as he makes a loud guffaw and moves to lie down on the bench. _Yes, I'm most definitely flirting with him._

He picks up the weight and maneuvers it over his chest, bring it down to meet his the broad muscle, a look of devout concentration centering on his face. His chest bulging, meeting the bar, a single bead of sweat traveling down the side of his face, arcing around his temple, and sliding down the side of his face. _Shit, it really is hot in here._

"Bella," he hisses through clenched teeth, jaw locked under the grit of his teeth and the pressure of the weight.

"Oops, one," I say quickly. _Maybe I'm _not_ able to complete such a simple task. However, remembering to count is the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. Now watching a bar go up and down while Emmett pants below it, that's something that requires attention._

"Two." _God, he looks so fucking tasty. Muscles rippling as he strains to push the heaviness up away from him._

"Three." _I'm about to have an orgasm from the sight of him alone. I know a rough, 122.4 pounds I wouldn't mind him lifting continuously, over and over, up and down. _

"Four." _Fuck me, he's too damn sexy. Excuse me, kind Sir, would you like me to lick the sweat off of you?_

_\_

He carefully racks the weight and stands up slowly. Looking around the area quickly, he mutters offhandedly, "Great, no towels." Before I can offer to go find him one, he starts tugging his shirt above his head, leaving my eyes ballooning to saucer-sized orbs and wiping my hands over my forehead and down my body hastily. My heart thundering ferociously in my chest as a soft whimper manages to escape between my lips. He leans down slowly, taking his shirt and mopping up his sweat. His muscles probing and protruding in various directions, his biceps and forearms working in harmony and I'd swear I was watching one of those commercials where that guy with the deep voice comes on singing, "Oh…yeeeaaaahhhh, _**ba dup bup,**_ oh yeeeeeeeeeeah." _You know the one I'm talking about. The one where a girl is leaning over the car in a bikini, washing it erotically while licking her lips and staring at the camera. Well, this is the guy version._

He tosses his shirt at me with a smirk and lays back down on the bench. Leaning back his head under the bar, he looks up at me animatedly and inquires merrily, "You ready to go for round two?" _More than you know, Sweet Cheeks._

Bringing the bar down to his chest, I begin to count, "One." _Fuck me, once._

His eyes pop open and he stares at me questioningly while he pushes the bar up and brings it back down to his chest. "Two." _Fuck me, twice._

His eyes widen significantly more and I return his curious look, battling not to laugh at our staring contest as he works the bar back down, letting it bounce off his chest. "Three." _As long as you're fucking me…_

He smile broadens, evidently something has him happy as he brings it down for his fourth and final rep. "Four." _It would be nice._

Emmett then coughs sternly, trying to rack the weight, but misses the holder and the weight shifts quickly, falling to one side and making a shattering noise as the heavy metal plates fall to the floor. Peoples' heads snap up in ever direction, focusing their attention in our direction, and I want to crawl into a hole and die. He jumps up from the bench, sending an evil grin in my direction, and starts gathering up the dropped weight. After putting away the steel plates, he strides up to me cockily and stops mere inches in front of me. Laughing, he leans down and thumbs the corner of his mouth while sliding his hand through his wet curls, asking, "What was all that about?"

Looking up at him through my lashes, I coo, "What was what about?"

"Bella," he licks his lip and finishes, "that little chant you did while you were counting my repetitions."

"When I was counting your repetitions, what?" I question, getting a little frustrated with this game he's playing.

He laughs agitatedly, obviously put out that I don't know what the hell he's talking about, and snaps back, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

I can feel my eyebrows knitting together as I chew on my bottom lip, so confused with what he's saying. "All I did was count your reps, nothing mor…, oh no!" I exclaim, finally comprehending _exactly_ what he's talking about. _Please, oh no, no, no, no! Please, God, tell me I didn't say that "Fuck me" shit out loud._

I back away from him slowly, shaking my head in my hands, begging that hole I was searching for previously to finally appear and swallow me whole. I hear his feet nearing me, then feel his hands stroking my arms lovingly. "Hey, now, no harm, no foul. Bella, look at me," he says as he steadily tries to soothe me.

I slowly raise my eyes to meet his, swallowing hard, and mumble, "I think I'm just going to go and try not to trip on the treadmill for a little while." He nods his head slowly, searching my eyes, worry apparent in his features as he studies me. I turn around and walk briskly towards the cardio equipment, hopefully leaving my stupidity with him by that fucking hot bench.

I look angrily at the machine, thinking you have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out, just as I feel someone come to stand beside me. "You need some help?" a husky voice questions. I turn my side to find a fairly good-looking guy beside me. His long blond hair pulled behind his head, his worker's uniform molding appealingly well around his muscles, and his hazel eyes working their way over my body. Though there is something off, and I'm not getting a good vibe from him.

"No, I think I've got it," I answer as I look over the electronic menu hurriedly. _What ever happened to the good ole START button?_

The creepster reaches dangerously close to my boobs, turning on the machine and I present him with a weak, but gracious smile for ending my torment. "Thanks," I offer, trying to be nice while the machine awakens and I begin a slow walk. Hitting the up arrow on the keypad, the belt speeds up a bit and I start walking a little more rapidly, lost in my own thoughts.

"James," he says, holding out his hand. _Is this idiot still here? Dude, take a hint and go away._

Letting go of the bar, I offer my hand and respond, "Bella," with the hint of a smile. The jerk holds on to my hand a little longer than necessary and when I try to extricate it from his grasp, I slip and speedily clutch onto the bar with both hands. Next thing I know, the jerk has his hands on my hips, probably convincing himself that he's steadying me.

"Take it easy there. Such a pretty lady as you doesn't need to get all banged up on a treadmill," he speaks arrogantly, most likely thinking he's sounding sexy, but I just think it's gross.

I wiggle out of his hands because apparently this guy just doesn't get it and reply bitterly, "Thanks, but I think I've got it from here. I appreciate your help."

He puts his hands up in mock surrender, backing away slowing, and gives me a wicked wink. _Eww, cooties. There's not enough Germ-X in the world to get rid of the nastiness of his diseased paws._

I turn my head away from the weirdo and survey the gym, easily spotting Emmett next to those dumbbell things. He's lifting the free-weights and seems so content in this atmosphere; this place is his element. I'm let my thoughts wonder over this week and all things that happened this morning, just adding this experience to the list, happy he's opened himself further to me and was willing to let me see a little more of his world.

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

I was doing some shoulder presses, trying to make up for a little of what I missed from my workout yesterday. Still amused and confused about Bella's little number she pulled back while I was bench pressing, I chuckle more to myself. When she said "Fuck me once" I knew that I had misheard her, so I listened more carefully. Sure enough, she bombarded my thoughts with the "Fuck me twice" and I couldn't figure out why she was saying it or where her confidence came from. "As long as you're fucking me, it would be nice" came shortly after and I almost swallowed my tongue and dropped the damn bar on my head. _It was so fucking sexy and playful. _Then realizing she didn't even realize she was saying it, I felt humiliated for her. I can't imagine how hard it would be to say something like that without feeling a tinge of embarrassment, knowing you aren't ready for it to be said out loud yet. But still, she said it, and I couldn't be more elated than I am as I look at my seated position in the mirror, raising the dumbbells over my head repeatedly. There is a big possibility that she needs us to happen just as much as I do.

Hearing a throat clear behind me, I sit the barbells down, and turn my head to the side.

"James," I say aggravated, annoyed with his unwanted interruption and eager to finish my workout.

"Emmett, how are ya man?" he responds, displeased with my agitated disposition.

Picking up my weights again, I huff with frustration and answer, "Good. Trying to get a workout, man. You?"

"I'm decent. I have a question for you," he says, cheeky as a motherfucker.

So, I sigh exasperatedly and place the weights on the mat. Looking up, I pinch the bridge of my nose and ask, "What?"

He nods his head to the right and questions, "You hittin' that?"

My eyes quickly scan the layout and come to rest on a gorgeous brunette with a bouncing ponytail and jiggling tits, her hips swaying with the rhythm of her brisk walk, the light sheen of sweat coating her limbs, and her face flushed and beautiful. It is Bella. _I'll kill him. _My eyes instantly transformed into slits as I seethed, "Dude, no fucking way, but _you_ leave her alone."

"Come on, man. So, you want to hit that? You and Rose break up and she's your new girl?" he questions, not quite picking up on my infuriation. _This dude has got to be dumber than a bag of fucking bricks._

Standing up, I look him straight in the eye from my position where I tower over him, clearly out-muscling him as well and shove my finger roughly into his chest, speaking clearly and harshly, "Not my girlfriend, but she is a friend and she _does_ have a boyfriend."

He takes my finger and pushes it away from his chest and the overconfident, little prick smirks at me stating, "But it's not you."

He turns to walk away and in none other direction than that of the cardio room where Bella is walking, unaware of a suave player heading her way. _I don't fucking think so, Asshole._

I run to retrieve our bags out of the locker room and come down the stairs, seeing James leaning across the treadmill, playing with a lock of Bella's hair. Instantly, my jealousy flares and all I see his red. My hands start trembling as I feel my insides go ablaze, raging with a furious fire. I move agilely through the machinery, people, and poles, stalking my enemy. Before I realize what's happening, I grab James by is polo and throw him away from her. Pointing a infuriated finger in his direction, I scream, "Stay the fuck away from her!" He stumbles over a few cords and lands on his ass, hands protectively in the air as he mumbles, "Okay, man, chill out."

When I feel a slap across my back, I turn around to find a fuming Bella. Her eyes darting around the complex and finally stopping directly on me. "What the hell is that, Emmett?" she questions, confusion and wrath dripping from every word.

Not considering it another minute, I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and storm towards the exist. All the while, I feel her arms and legs thrashing against me as she demands, "I swear to God, Emmett, put me down right now." I ignore her words and wonder where the fuck all this is coming from, I feel it's my duty to protect Bella for Edward, but this time I'm not doing it for him. This is all me- jealousy, anger, possessiveness, rude- all of it me and that just leaves me feeling shitty and confused.

As we make our way across the parking lot, Bella gives up on escaping my grip and just lets her body go limp, bouncing freely against my own. My desire starts to return, enhanced by the green-eyed monster, as I feel her soft tits continuously bump against the muscles in my back. I begin to make long strokes up the back of her right thigh with one hand while the other kneads her left calf, the nearer I get to the vehicle, the closer I get to her ass, the rougher I knead, and the bigger my erection gets. Finally stopping at the Jeep passenger door, I place her on the ground, relishing in the way her body slides roughly down mine. She pushes me with all the strength that she has and stares irately into my face, she chides, "What the hell is your problem?"

In one fluid motion, I grip her hips pulling her into me and turn her around, pushing her into the vehicle. She gasps with my unexpected movements and moans when her head hits the glass window. My heart lurches a bit with the thought of causing her pain and I reach behind her head to try and rub her head, but she slaps my hand away, scowling like I offended her. I lean down to apologize, but she throws her fingers over my lips, causing the words to die in my throat. Her body clouding my judgment, eliciting a stronger fire within me as I breath heavily while looking into her hooded eyes. She is still angry, her eyes cutting me like a million daggers as her fingers work tediously down the planes of my stomach, only stopping as she hooks her fingers on the inside of my waistband. She tugs fiercely, bringing my body that one inch closer, her small hips fitting perfectly in between mine, our groins finally connected. We both moan audibly as my head lulls forward, letting the fire consume me, and enjoying the contact I didn't know I was missing. She pushed my forehead back, and bit out angrily, "Since when is going all caveman appropriate?" _Since it invites this reaction from you._

Leaning forward, I place my head in the crook of her neck and breath, letting my nose skim the length of her collarbone, she moans and it goes straight to my dick, making it twitch with anticipation. "I'm sorry, I don't know what made me or why, I just… reacted when I saw him…I don't know," I trail off, not quite sure where to start explaining for my faults.

"Save your justifications," she says hoarsely, panting into the groove between my chest, causing the raging fire to burn hotter and I know I'm moments away from being completely engulfed by the flames. The sweat trickles between our bodies as the glaring sun beats down on us from above, matching the heat from our insides and further welding us together. I tug on her ponytail, angling her head to the side, letting my stubble graze up of the smooth skin of her neck then glide it along the slant of her jaw. Her chest bumps abrasively against mine with our accelerated breathing, light tremors settling throughout her body with my current actions, and her heart echoing perfectly the roar of my own. I lean down and place a kiss behind her earlobe and revel in the whimper it receives. My heart could explode with the magnitude of this moment. Leaning forward, I cup her cheek and she casts my hand to the side, apparently she's still upset. I start to descend upon her lips when the shrill of car tires sound and I look up to see a name plate JAMES1 on the tag hightailing it away from the parking area. I lurch forward with a brusquely jerk of my shirt, my gaze locking on Bella's, her eyes a mixture of desire and pleading, her small fist deeply entangling in the fabric of my shirt. Finally I know for certain, she needs _**this**_ to happen just as much as me.

"Oh good, you're still here," Heidi's voice sings from the other side of the vehicle. Bella and I immediately step away from one another and smooth our clothing. Stepping around the vehicle, Heidi's eyes travel between Bella and I, a look of bewilderment settling on her features. She pulls a jacket forward and says, "You forgot this a while back and I keep forgetting to give it to you. I thought since fall is coming, you might be needing it eventually."

"Thanks, it's very kind of you to bring it out," I respond. Turning to Bella, I look as she frowns in Heidi's direction as she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. I raise my eyebrows and question, "Ready to go?" Her only answer is a nod.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Stepping out of the shower, my fuse from earlier has completely simmered and died. I just couldn't believe Emmett would react that way. I was conflicted from wanting grind his head in the pavement for his macho bullshit or attack his body for the show of jealousy. _All jokes aside, when he threw me over his shoulder, I could have fucked him in the middle of the gym and died a happy woman. Bastard._

Sliding into some pajama pants and a camisole, I wrap my wet hair up in a towel and go to the living room. Settling in the floor next to the sofa, I turn on the television and flip through the channels, finally settling on a documentary about Dracula on the History Channel. Becoming slightly engrossed in the development of the character, I startle quickly when a bag of lemon drop on the table. Laying my head back against my shoulders, I look above me to find Emmett is his pajamas holding up two shot glasses and a tall bottle. _This means trouble._

"Bella, say hello to my little friend," he says, settling the tiny glasses on the table, leaning up to swing the bottle in his hand.

I smirk and look at his crotch, "Hello there, Emmett's little friend."

An uproarious guffaw floats above my head as Emmett shoots a dimple in my direction and responds, "I assure you he's not little, but I'm talking about this little guy."

He situates the bottle on the coffee table beside me and plops down in the floor beside me. I smile amusedly and direct my comment toward the gold liquid, "Hello there, Mr. Cuervo. I have a feeling that you and I will be closely acquainted by the end of the night."

I hear Emmett laugh and mumble, "That's sort of the plan." _I always knew that boy was evil, the devil, I tell you._

I watch as he pours the first shot and shoots me a grin, saying, "Lick it, shoot it, suck it." Sliding the salt shaker across the table, I finger the outside of the little glass globe, and lick the inside of my wrist while Emmett slices up a lemon. I turn towards Emmett and re-lick the salt, collecting the grainy texture slowly with my tongue while his eyes darken and smolder between our locked gazes, him swallowing thickly as I take that last reminiscence into my mouth. I sling back the shot, pouring it eagerly down my throat and force the lemon into my mouth, sucking it greedily to get rid of the offensive taste.

"If you're going to act like Dracula, I hate to inform you, but lemons do not contain blood," he says, portraying his perfect jackass tendencies. _I'll show him. _I pour his shot, glide the salt across the glass surface, and give him a lemon slice.

Just as he's taking his shot, I retort "If anything, I'm performing myself because Dracula is envious of my sucking abilities." He chokes violently on his shot as he grasps at his throat, coughing violently as he searches impatiently for the lemon slice.

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

After the twentieth shot, I stopped counting, but the night grew more lively. Which each ounce of tequila, our confidence seem to build as did the sexual innuendo in our teasing banter. Bella mentioned something about being sore from her workout and before I knew it, my body was spread across the carpet. Her hips straddling the small of my back as her finger dug gloriously into the tired muscles of my back, arms, neck, and shoulders. The longer she spent above me, the more ragged her breathing became, her breast grazed the surface of my back additionally with each passing of her hand, her lips blowing a cool breeze over the ripples in my tense body, and her hips began to grind into the dip of my back as she rocked back and forth with each knead and roll of her fingers. My eyes rolled back into my head as she let her fingernails scrape along my scalp and pull and the edges of my hair. That was the last straw, that's when I rolled from beneath her and told her to lay down.

I watch as Bella paws her way to the ground, feline in her mannerisms as she stretches like a cheetah and rolls her curves towards the carpet, purring as she eases closer to the floor. Settling with her arms folded beneath her chin, I observe as her body becomes an odd mixture of relaxed and tense. I fall back to my knees, and start at her feet. I pick up her small right foot and begin to rub my thumbs appreciatively in small circles and she giggles a little bit before sighing and easing her head to lay with her cheek against her forearm. Switching to her left, I copy my exact actions from the previous foot. Shifting my position forward a few feet, I settle myself adjacent to her knees, along me to rub from her calf to her hamstring in one motion, massaging soothingly with my palms and fingers. Each time I work to the inside of her thigh or up near her ass, my breathing picks up and my dick twitches. Just like on her feet, I copy stroke for stroke on her left leg and it warrants the same reaction from my body. I sit up, and place both of my legs on the outside of each of hers, hovering over her body, careful not to let my full weight descend on her legs. I bite the inside of my lower lip, as my eyes stare directly at her ass. My fingers twitch with excitement as my mind screams "too soon." I lean forward, spreading my fingers as the ghost over her ass and land at the ridge just above her beautiful behind. I rotate from using my fingers, to using my palms, to use a rolled fist as I stroke, caress, and manipulate ever muscle across her back and sides, my fingers gliding over the pink satin of her tiny top. Bella is silent for the most part, giving an appreciative moan or whimper ever once and a while. I hold my breath every time I lean forward, trying with all my might to keep the contact of my raging hard-on to press against her ass.

I sigh dramatically as I extend my hands for her shoulders and realize I can't reach them easily. Rubbing my hands across my forehead, I edge my body onward, coming to settle just above her ass. I continue on with my ministrations, trying to soothe away her every ache and bite back a groan each time she resituates herself, stealthily bringing her ass up to brush against my throbbing dick. I bend forward and extend my hand, gently grasping the moistened fabric and pull it slowly away from her head. I slide my fingers through the damp tangles, gently separating the matted waves as I work my hands over her scalp. Passing back and forth, I let my fingers work nimbly from the crown of her skull, to the base of her neck, and across her tone shoulders, making the same revolution over and over when I finally hear her speak.

"So good," she whispers, her voice sounding rougher than usual.

"Is it now?" I question, smirking and feeling a little accomplished.

"MMMmmm," is her only response. Finding bravery in her words, I maneuver my body back and lean down onto my palms, one on each side her face. Leaning down, I flick her earlobe with my tongue and whisper in her ear, "Is there any other place you want me to touch you?" She doesn't say a word, so I lean closer and softly question, "Bella?" Listening intently, I hear a soft snore and my eyes flash quickly to the side of her face. Without a doubt, her eyes are closed as a soft hum bubbles from her lazy grin. I sit up sharply and rub my temples. Then, shifting my knees, I turn towards the table and bang my head repeatedly against the glass, murmuring furiously, "Not again, not again, not again!" I hear shuffling behind me and my head snaps up, looking over my shoulder to find Bella curled into the fetal position, looking adorable. Exhaling frustratingly, I walk the short distance across the carpet on my knees and easily scoop her into my arm. She folds herself into my chest and sighs contently as I stand to my feet and make my way towards her room. Pulling back the soft covers of her bed, I tuck her tenderly between the sheets and smooth the hair away from her forehead. I look down at her sleeping form for the second time today, however, this time she looks completely innocent. Long passed was the expressive, dreaming sex kitten. Now before me is this enchanted, pure creature of the night. I let my lips ghost across her forehead as I stand and walk towards her door. I turn to observe this slumbering angel once more before I close her door and leave her to be in peace.

I take quick strides the short distance to my room and throw open the door and dive headlong into my bed. I scramble to my side of the bed and rip off my shirt. Defeated once again, I roll grumpily to my side and beg sleep to drag me under. Inhaling deeply, Bella's lingering scent works its way into my nose and causes me to exhale harshly. _Motherfucker! _I throw back the cover, shift to my other side and look at the alarm clock on my nightstand. _Who the hell falls asleep at nine o'clock?_ I pull open the wooden drawer and fumble in the darkness for my phone. Dialing the number, I anxiously wait for the one person who can help me get the ball rolling. If anyone has experience in soliciting good sex, it's this individual.

Hearing the call connect, I say, "Hey, Rose, I need your help."

* * *

_**A/N: So, thanks again for all those that read, I appreciate you more than you know. If you want to gain major cool points, leave me a review telling me what you thought. Go ahead, all the pimpass peeps are doing it, join the crowd.**_

_**First off, this fic is sadly coming to a close. Chapter 5 will be the last chapter in this little fic. *tears & sniffles* So, opinions, will they or won't they finally have sex?**_

_**Secondly, I want to thank all those closest to me that keep hounding me to get this shit out. I don't know why they love it, but I'm thankful for their enthusiasm.**_

_**Lastly, Live720, you know you are the shizz. Thanks for being a good little nurse and doctoring this up to be semi-pretty.**_

******** IMPORTANT****** I'm on the judging panel of an amazing group of six other authors in the fandom. We are all about the Jacob Love since he doesn't get it often enough and are hosting a contest. For more information and the rules, go to "Sort of Beautiful" Challenge page. It can either be found at http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2046940/ or on my FAVORITE AUTHOR'S page.**

_**Smooches,**_

_**Christina**_


	5. Chapter 5: Football Frenzy

**First off, I'm sorry I fail, but RL is still being a bitch & I apparently suck at updating. Thanks for those that PMed me & kicked my ass in gear.**

**Secondly, thanks for everyone that continues to review, favorite, alert & all that jizz. You are awesome and I love you all.**

**Thirdly, because I'm so fucking wordy, this will not be the last chapter as originally intended. Good news- another chapter (to which I've already started). Bad news- That little something, something you were waiting on isn't in this chapter.**

**(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)**

*********DISCLAIMER****:*** **_**I don't own shit. SMeyer is the goddess and everything Twilight related belongs to her. I just have fun twisting her shit and making it my own. Read on & hopefully enjoy.**_

* * *

"**Chapter 5: Football Frenzy"**

_**EmPOV**_

_I'm an idiot. _"You're an idiot!" Rose exclaims, bluntly echoing my own thoughts precisely. _I'm so fucked. "_You are so fucked!" she nearly shouts, mirroring my thoughts exactly for the second time.

Rose really is a trooper as she and I continue to go over all the ways I fucked up and missed out on every opportunity to get with Bella over the past few days. She told me that I should just try the honest approach and sit Bella down, make her hear me and let my desires be known to her. After explaining to her I've tried this and the results weren't formidable, she simply said, "Emmett, I love you and I've known for a while of your attraction toward Bella. I've supported you on your conquest and encouraged you to seek it out. You know I've done everything I could to help you, but just… maybe it's not _meant_ to happen."

After exchanging "I love you" with each other and hanging up the phone, I let the silence fully surround me, encompassing me and providing an uneasy peace. I slide to sit on the edge of my bed and rethink all the ways that last night, and several other nights for that matter, should have ended differently. I hadn't planned on getting Bella drunk. I just wanted us to get enough alcohol in our systems so that maybe we wouldn't over-analyze everything in our minds and just let our bodies seek out the things they wanted most, each other. Bella had other intentions and kept knocking back shots like they were water. So, like every other time she got drunk, she fell asleep, yet again leaving us void of our sexual need.

I am so tired of it, the non-contact. It sure as shit isn't for a lack of trying on my part. We were so close on so many occasions, I could have sworn we've fucked eight times by now. I know Bella wants me. She knows I want her. You'd think we would have had sex every single day that Edward and Rose were gone. Unfortunately, that isn't the case, God hates my guts, interruptions are a bitch, and my balls are petitioning to cut themselves off and relocate to a different body because the cold showers just aren't cutting it anymore. Looking down, I gingerly grope my testicles and murmur, "I don't blame you guys."

An epiphany takes force over my brain and I set up straight, preparing myself for the realization. This is the point where I, Emmett McCarty, give the fuck up. I will not pursue Isabella Marie Swan any longer. It's simple. She and Edward are happy. Rosalie and I are happy. Maybe Rose is right, maybe there was never a chance for something between us. I'll learn to close my eyes to the wanting looks, hush the whispers of desire, swallow back the taste of lust, and ignore the electric buzz of expected ecstasy whenever our bodies are near. I will move forward in my life, putting my yearning for her on the backburner for now and hopefully over time, I'll extinguish the slow flame that burns between us. The flicker of desire held between us will no longer exist because there is no longer an _us_for it to burn for anymore. _I quit._

Flopping back in the bed, I roll to my side and beckon the peace of my awaiting sleep forward, trying to gulp down the tinge of hurt at surrendering on something that I've wanted for so long.

* * *

I awake with a start, frustrated with the fact that my brain hadn't listened to my declarations from earlier and forced images of Bella's body writhing above me during my unconscious state. _Stupid fucking brain._

I quickly roll from beneath the covers and rub an agitated hand over my face and through my hair, harshly bringing myself out of the hazy stupor. I call it a Tequila Sunrise, but it's better known as a hangover. Squinting my eyes towards my window, I cross my room and turn on television, setting the channel to the weather before going into my bathroom and taking a few Excedrin. _I need to leave Bella some on her nightstand so she'll have them when she wakes up._ Setting two extra pills on the sink, I brush my teeth and shave the stubble from my jaw. _The first step in removing Bella's presence from my thoughts- I only kept the facial hair around for her, no use in keeping it now._

Swiping the tablets from the vanity, I walk back into my room, the weatherman rambling about sunny skies until mid-afternoon with a large chance of thunderstorms later. _Story of my life, always a chance of rain._

I jog to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water for her to have to help swallow down the pills. I take deliberately slower strides to her room, repeatedly reminding myself that no matter how she looks, or what she says, or what position she is laying in, things will _never_ happen between us. Opening her door, she looks peaceful and a restful sleep seems to be accompanying her. _She really is beautiful_. I pause momentarily as I ease inside her door, waiting for some form of the sleeping sex kitten to grace me with her presence, but she never appears. _Thanks, God, you decide now of all times to give me a break. _Quickly darting my eyes away from her, my heart seems to crack under the weight of admitting my defeat. I walk briskly to the table beside her bed, gently placing the bottle water and the medication atop the nightstand. I fight with my inner demons and force myself not to look at her. Racing from her room, I close the door quietly and go back to my room to take a shower.

Opening the door to my shower stall, I step in and move my body under the spray, letting the water trickle over my frame. The massaging jets working deep, I maneuver and roll my rigid muscles, positioning myself to let the tension work from my body. I quickly lather the soap over my body, work the shampoo through the lockets of my hair, and rinse everything- the suds, my anxiety, and my dreams all swirling down the drain together. Stepping out, I begin to towel off when I hear Bella's door screech open and listen as an audible moan sounds followed by footsteps pattering down the hallway. Sighing deeply, I shrug on my t-shirt and pull on my basketball shorts. _Nothing like comforting, old clothing when your spirit is down in the dumps. _I open my door and plaster a fake smile on my face, trying to be the happy-go-lucky Emmett that she's familiar with, leaving all hints of my dejection and resigned lust void from my face.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

I awake slowly, squinting one eye to take in my surroundings. _What the hell happened last night? _I feel my face contort as I wince, trying to swallow thickly, grasping at my dry throat as the familiar scratch works painfully down my esophagus. Slowly the images from last night emerge in my brain as flashes of shot after shot of tequila pour down my throat, the playful banter between Emmett and I continuing, and the last thought I had was of Emmett rolling out from beneath me. _Fuck, what the hell did happen last night? Please for the love of Jeebus, don't tell me that I finally had sex with the man of my lust-filled dreams and don't remember a damn bit of it. _I sit up quickly, much to my demise as I reach forward instantly to massage my temples, croaking forcefully with chagrin. I look through a foggy haze around my room, my eyes finally landing on two small pills and a bottled water on my bedside table. _He knows me so well. _Making a silent toast, I whisper, "To Tequila Sunrises,"as I remember back on all the times Emmett had made the same declaration. I twist off the cap and toss the pills into my mouth followed by a swig of water, emptying both into my stomach and praying for the relief they will provide. This isn't the worst hangover I've ever had, but I'd be lying if I didn't say my head hurt like a bitch. Pushing the covers away from my body, I rake my eyes over my pajamas from last night. _Thank goodness. I guess nothing did happen… I hope._

Standing slowly from my bed, I reach forward the grab my bedpost, steadying myself as I walk toward my bathroom. Those first few hangover steps are what most of my more recent scars are a result of, my wobbly limbs always causing me to tumble forward and injure myself. Reaching my bathroom, I turn on the water at my sink and splash the cool moisture over my face, waking up more with each splatter. Accessing my frame, I quickly work my hair into a very loose braid, wanting the tangled mess away from my face, but there is no way I can manage a ponytail with the pain radiating through my skull. I brush my teeth quickly, hoping to get rid of the remaining taste of stale tequila. With one more swipe of water and the rinsing of my mouth, I turn off the faucet and make my way toward my door.

Pulling back on the handle, the frame opens with a long, drawn out screech causing me to moan and massage my throbbing temples for the second time this morning. As I work my way down the hall, I walk by Emmett's door, pausing momentarily to listen for recognition of him being awake. Hearing bustling near the door, I steady myself to keep walking when his door flies open, halting me in my tracks as I stare wide-eyed at him. Something is wrong though, his smile is tight and it doesn't quite meet his eyes. The cheerfulness he normally exudes unapparent as a fake smile placates his face with guarded eyes, a look of defeat marring his features.

"Morning," I say cautiously, searching through his façade, trying to decipher the unknown glumness taking residence there.

I watch as his face falls, hiding himself away from me. _Oh no, please don't hide yourself from me. What's going on? Did I miss something? _All these questions are fumbling around in my confused brain, the fuzziness of the hangover steadily making things more difficult.

"Morning," he replies, looking up as his weak smile tightens more, the normal twinkle in his eye nonexistent.

Ducking down, I search his icy blues further, hunting for some clue into his despondent nature. My stomach makes a perceptible rumble, my hunger making itself known as a real smirk breaks through his armored wall. He questions, "Breakfast?" I groan and nod my head, happy to have some resemblance of the Emmett I know back before me. We walk slowly down the hall, me glancing out of the corner of my eye often at him while his gaze falls everywhere but on me.

Entering the kitchen, I silently work my way through the cabinets searching for some crackers, not wanting to chance anything else against the alcohol still working through my system. _Just great, we don't have any. _

Turning to Emmett, I inanimately shrug my shoulders and watch as a true smile reaches his eyes. "I'm just going to make me a strawberry protein shake," he says, resting his hip against the bar, turning slightly in my direction.

Tapping my chin, I survey the kitchen when I spot the fruit bowl on the counter. _Maybe I can choke a banana down? _Walking over and plucking a banana, I turn to find a distraught Emmett glancing from the banana to me, eyebrows significantly creasing as he stands dumbfounded by my side. Tossing the banana from hand to hand while letting my lower back fall against the counter, I watch as Emmett's face turns into a mixture between a scowl and a deer caught in headlights. _Okay, piss-poor-buckaroo, what'd the banana ever do to you?_

Suddenly the little light bulb in my cranium starts to flicker, realizing his apprehension in me choosing _this_ item of sustenance. Twisting my feet marginally, I let my hip roll to rest flush against the bar as a devilish smirk creeps across my face, drawing one corner of my lips upward as I stare straight into his blue orbs with a longing twinkle present in my eyes. _Shit, I hope they're twinkling. Bitches, perk up & sparkle for Momma._

Emmett watches with fervor as I rake my fingernails along the thick peel coating the banana. He jerks minutely when I snap the stem from the top of the fruit, bringing down one side of the peel tantalizingly slow, all the while fixating my gaze over him and his reactions. I finish the skin of the fruit in much the same fashion, making deliberately slow descents and lean forward exposing my bare cleavage to him as I discard the remains in the garbage can underneath the cabinets beside him. Leaning back up, my heartbeat quickens under his lust-filled gaze as he makes a deep swallow and parts his lips ever so slightly.

I become ecstatic knowing I can get a rise out of him- _hopefully in two places_- and continue on with my little display, summoning this newfound courage to carry myself forward with the show. With trembling fingers, I close my eyes and lick up one side of the banana from the bottom to the top, swirling my tongue around tip before sliding my tongue down the other side. Slowly I let my eyes open and my entire body is consumed with the amount of hunger present in Emmett's eyes. The way his jaw flexes inadvertently as his chest rises and falls quickly makes the moisture pool between my legs, and if I ever wanted to complete a task before, this is that time. I want to bring him to his knees. I want him to give in to his desires. I want him to give in to me.

I run my lips up the side of the soft fruit, kissing here, nipping there with Emmett's hooded lids ever present in my focus. Reaching the top, I make one full circle around the top and coat my lips with a quick swipe of my tongue and then gradually work the banana between my slick lips. A low rumble emanates from deep with Emmett's chest as he continues to watch me with bated breaths. My own air intake becomes shallower as my arousal starts to consume me, having this feeling of power, knowing how I can effect him drives me to do things I never thought I could. I let my lips linger halfway down the banana and a low moan escapes me as I watch him grip the edge of the counter, his forearms tightening as he grips the bar more forcefully. Rolling my lips upward, I expose my teeth as I drag them across the soft firmness of the fruit, applying little pressure as I make my ascent toward the top. My knees begin to lightly quiver as I watch Emmett take his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it as arousal clouds his eyes. He fervidly watches the deliberateness of my actions and his eyes bore straight through me, bringing the pace of my heart to dangerous levels. I make several more passes like the first, working eagerly, yet languidly down the banana with my lips encasing it fully only to scrape my teeth towards the top. Minutes seem to tick by so slowly, my actions unhurried as time seems to stand still for us in this moment. Finally reaching the top after the sixth or seventh time, I gently pucker my lips and kiss the tip of the banana before plunging it forward, the entire banana lodged between my lips and down my throat. I try to fight back the natural reaction to gag as a sharp hiss rockets forward from between Emmett's tight-drawn lips. My eyes simultaneously dart to the screech of the counter under the weight of his grip as he applies significantly more pressure to his grasp.

Somewhat smiling with tight lips around the banana, I extract it slowly from between my lips with an obvious sucking sound, popping my lips at the end when it's completely withdrawn from between my pout. Extending a devious smile his direction, my giggles faltering for a brief second because of the way he's looking at me. He's biting the bottom of his lip so harshly it looks like it's about to rip, causing everything in my body scream that he wants to devour me in this moment. I drag in an unsteady breath, compelled to continue but not sure where to go from here. Absentmindedly, I take a quick bite of the banana. I jump minutely, startled by the abrupt slap of the counter and a loud huff as I watch Emmett's retreating form while he mumbles, "Trying to fucking kill me… suck balls… banana all the way down her damn throat… need another fucking cold shower… motherfucking banana fetish… SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!"

I lean back against the counter snickering, happy with the results of my little banana performance, and proceed to eat my breakfast. The remnants of my hangover begins to dissipate as the food settles my stomach and the previous events sober me up. Tossing the last bit of the banana in my mouth, my smile turns into a grimace as I realize that this banana is disgusting. _Note to self: Completely soaking a banana with saliva will make it mushy and nauseating. While good for putting on phallic displays, it doesn't make for an appetizing meal._

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

_She's the devil. The hottest, sexiest, evilest little mischievous minx I know, but the devil nonetheless. God, I thought we talked about this? Remember, the little "I give up speech?" Well, all that's down the drain now._

Setting the water to damn-near-frigid temperatures, I step under the spray for my second shower of the day. _And it's only 10:30 in the damn morning. _This one causes my teeth to chatter as I try not to die from death by hard-on.

To possibly think that I could have ever given up on her is inconceivable. I should have known that the she-devil would find a way of using her "female powers" to suck me back in. _Yeah, exactly, "suck" me back in. The way the damn banana so easily slid down her throat… Well, that's just fine Miss Swan. Game the fuck on!!!_

However, with the words of "Miss Swan" and "fuck" in the same thought, my cock jumps with anticipation. It seems like I have matters of throbbing importance to take care of first.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower and throwing on some clothes, I race to the kitchen in search of Bella. Walking around several different rooms and calling out her name, I still can't find her. Finally, I walk down the hall toward her bedroom just in time to hear her shower cut off. I rest my head against the wood of the door as images of Bella stepping out of the shower flood my brain. Her leaning over and toweling off the delicate smoothness of her skin, shimmying the towel across her supple breast, finally stopping to dry the dampness of her cascading waves of brown. _Shit, if I keep this up I'm going to need another cold shower. _

Tapping lightly against the wood, Bella swings the door open almost immediately. I stumble back a few feet as the hint of her sweet body wash lofts around me, completely encasing me with the steam of her shower and the smell of her skin. The image of unique beauty pulled straight from my fantasies as Bella stands before me in nothing but a small green towel. The flush of her skin highlighted perfectly by the droplets of remaining water, causing her skin to sparkle and dazzle me into a bumbling idiot. "Um… football, today. You go to field with me? Damn Devil Woman," I babble incoherently as I continue to gaze over her luscious curves. Her laughter bellows forth like the most gorgeous of symphonies, orchestrated just for me as she places her arm to rest against the open frame while stepping closer to me and quirking her brow.

"You want to try that again? I didn't catch a word of that, and who is the Devil Woman?" she asks with humor lacing exquisitely through her seductive curiosity.

Leaning forward to place each hand on the inside of the door molding, I tower over her as she arches her back to look into my eyes. "Let's go play some football," I say, trying to match her seductive coo with a charming inquiry of my own.

She looks down briefly and returns her eyes to mine, a hint of desire present as she bites her bottom lip. Releasing her lower lip, she smiles and says, "Give me thirty minutes."

I breathe a sigh of relief and say, "No problem."

Closing her door with a wink, I stand there with my heart thrumming around in my chest as tons of emotions race throughout my body. Sending God a little fist pump and a silent 'thank you,' I race to my room to throw the required materials in my gym bag. Practically skipping to the living room, I settle in my lazy boy as my knees bounce with eagerness. _Dammit, this will finally be the day or I truly give up. If I can't make the shit happen today, then it really isn't meant to be._

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Sliding from the passenger seat, I step onto the field and look around at the desolate location while inattentively closing the door behind me. The openness most likely a forgotten practice field as the grounds are slightly overgrown on the outskirts of the open center. Surveying the area, the only recognizable structures are the two rusted goal posts marking each endzone at separate ends of the field, the middle filled with small strips of grass scattered sparingly throughout the dry dirt. I breathe in deeply, the smell of the surrounding forest rushing into my system. I smile as I listen carefully; the only sounds are those of the birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves. The solitude feels me with a sense of freedom, and I get excited. I twirl my body around in circles, opening my arms and spreading my fingers to grasp at the humid air encompassing me as a child-like laughter bellows deep from within my body. The only sound is my echo reverberating through the open space and coming back to me. I stop mid-spin as I turn to find Emmett leaning against his jeep, arms folded across his chest as he watches me with a broad grin. His Longhorn Football shirt rests along the svelte muscles of his arm, hanging loosely from his chest, and draws my eyes to him like a magnet. I let my eyes slide lower as the white nylon shorts hang low on his hips, barely exposing his knees and muscular calves to me.

He kicks away from the vehicle with his foot and walks toward me smiling and asks, "Having fun already?"

I just return his smile with one of my own and reply, "Sure am. Are we doing this football business or are you going to just stare at me all day?"

He chuckles lightly and retorts, "If staring at you is really an option then that's what I choose."

I slap playfully at his shoulder and say, "Just tell me how the hell to play this game."

He begins to speak and my mind starts to drift back over time. All of my years of living with Charlie, I never learned the fundamentals of the sport. Charlie was more of a baseball fan anyway. I didn't too much care for it though, baseball's too slow for my taste. I love the physicality of football, the excitement of the action in the game, and the sense of camaraderie among the fans in the stands. While at college, I was constantly dragged by my roommates in the dorms to the games. I remember the first time that a particular linebacker caught my eye on the field.

It was the season opener and our first home game. Football is like God in Texas, and everybody who is anybody crowded the stadium that day. Before kickoff, the team captains trotted back from midfield after the coin toss. The one player took off his helmet and ran a hand through his dark, shiny curls. Then as if he felt me watching him, he turned to survey the crowd. The stadium roared and chanted his name. He graciously waved and smiled, his dimples making all the woman melt and the men jealous. There was no doubt about it, he was "the big man on campus."

_I remember his body looking particularly appetizing in his tights as he ran around the field, executing the requirements of his position perfectly. At least I thought so, again, I'm no expert… on those positions. My gaze always seemed to follow him. He was the type of player that holds your attention easily. I respected the way he zoned in on his targets and stalked them like his prey throughout the play. I admired the way his teammates seemed to hone in around him, looking to him for guidance and acceptance; he was their leader. However, my most predominant memory was how the clock ticked down the final seconds in the last quarter and the Longhorns desperately tried to hold onto their lead. Their opponents and home-state rivals were on their own forty yard line with only time left for one play. The ball was snapped and the quarterback searched for an open guy. I watched as Emmett set his trigger directly on his target and took off running. Capturing the quarterback and tackling to the ground, Emmett became the hero of the game and secured the first victory of the season._

_I continued to go and watch him, and eventually attended the games with Edward and Rose. That is until Emmett suffered a major knee-blowout his senior year. Everyone was on pins and needles awaiting the verdict of his potential to go pro. However, after surgery, it was quickly discovered that Emmett's football future was over. He was upset for a while, but just like most things seem to do with him, he let that prospect of that part of his life go and became fully focused on being a high school coach. He already has a job lined up for him as Austin High School Bulldogs' head coach next year._

"Ouch!" I scream as I massage the sting on my arm and give Emmett a displeased glare.

"Bella, did you get anything I just explained to you? Where the hell did you go just now?" he asks through an agitated laughter.

Sheepishly ducking my head, I mumble, "I was just remembering back to the first time I ever saw you play."

"Oh, with Edward and Rose?" he questions casually.

"No," I say as I shake my head lightly before I continue speaking, "I used to go and watch you even before then." I anxiously bite my lip as I watch Emmett's eyebrows crease significantly as he absorbs my bit of information.

He nods his head as his dimples creep into place, "Well, I guess that's pretty cool. Alright, let's have another go at this explanation thing, shall we?"

I try to concentrate this time due to missing the previous details, but only manage to capture words and phrases as I'm captivated by the movements of his lips and how they educe a fire from deep within. I can't help but to pay particular attention to the way his tongue eloquently draws in and around his mouth and lips as he annunciates certain syllables.

I nod on cue as he mentions something about "prospective positions," and my heart speeds significantly as my mind races with ideas of all the positions I want him to take me in. My arousal causes my knees to quake with the near thought of the expected bliss sure to accompany each one.

I bite my lip as a strangled "yes" escapes my lips when he mentions "passes and routes." The only thoughts joining the sentence are those of lusty proposition. My brain is unyielding as it casts spectacles of his rough, athletic hands making passes over my body. My nipples tighten with the thought of him caressing them and my ass yearns to rest atop his palms once more. The only other idea of significance is trying to figure out the quickest route to the cock in his pants, my center heating with the objective of giving it a new home, warm and wet.

He searches my eyes for affirmation as he continues on in with his enthusiastic discussion of the sport he loves while trying to teach me. I chastise myself for not being able to stay coherent, but am again quickly lost to the way his shoulders ripple and curve from underneath his shirt as his hands grip the ball more forcefully while he demonstrates "proper ball placement and pass protection." Now my central focus is again drawn away from him as I consider where I want his balls to be placed and how I fucking forgot protection. _Thank goodness I'm on the pill._

"So, what do you think about tackling? Are we playing two hand touch or full contact?" he questions indifferently.

_Fuck, his two hands all over me sounds magical but to think about his full body having direct contact with mine damn near causes me to orgasm on the spot._

"Shit, I've lost her again. Bella?" he questions while snapping his fingers near my face.

"Um, yeah, full contact sounds fine. That is if you think you can take me down," I say, smirking conspiratorially at him.

"Taking you down is only half the effort, honey. Question is, do you think you can get me down?" he requitals in a playful, yet sexy tone.

I bite the inside of my cheek and retort, "Oh, sugar pie, I'm going to bring you to your knees."

He just winks and replies with a slight chuckle, "I'm counting on it."

What he doesn't know is that I'm damn near on _my_ knees begging for him because of our little heated exchange. Our playful is banter only bringing my already aroused state to higher levels. _Game on, Fuckmett!_

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**A/N: ****So, it only takes a second, review? Please... I want to get inside your heads, do you love it, hate it, don't care either way. I love conversing with all my reviewers. You all are great.**

**As always, thanks to my lovely beta-wifey extraordinaire, Live720. She's the best, this shit wouldn't be anything it is without her guidance & mad pimpess beta skills.**

**Thanks to all my BBR hoors, RoaR PattinAngels, and my SOB bitches for giving me the encouragement when needed.**

**Lastly, the "Sort of Beautiful" challenge is still going on. We are very excited for the entries we've already recieved and are thrilled to get in more Jake stories. Go out & write, I want to see what you've got. For more information, got to the Challenge Page at http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2046940/**

**Until next time...**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	6. Chapter 6: Score

**Hello all, or to the few that are still around. Really quickly, I apologize profusely for being gone so long. No excuses except real life was a big bitch and slapped my pervy ass around for a while. Again, I'm sorry.**

**Secondly, I want to continue to say thank you to my reviewers and those that alert or favorite. I'm blown away by all of your responses and cherish each and every one.**

**Thirdly, I want to thank Ysar and UnLeishd for their pimpage. I love you, ladies.**

**(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)**

*****DISCLAIMER:*** All recognizable characters, settings, and references are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. However, the rest of this shiz is mine, let me keep it please.**

* * *

"**Chapter 6: SCORE!"**

_**EmPOV**_

_If she only knew how willingly I'd fall to my knees for her. _Instead of clueing her in to my inner dialogue, I just wink and chuckle out my response, "I'm counting on it."

Then as if on cue, her face flushes and her eyes widen, giving in to the fact that she's very aware of the connotation interlaced within my statement. However, I didn't anticipate her next course of action. Her face transforms into one of determination, her eyes narrowing into slits pointed in my direction as she appears to have come to some sort of reconciliation with herself. Everything about her audacious posture is screaming dominant, confident, and sexy as hell.

She smiles the most devilishly seductive grin, bringing her toned arms to the base of her neck, sweeping up her brown hair into a nest of waves atop her head, securing it with the elastic band from around her wrist. I let my eyes maneuver their way around the curves of her body, more elated with the fact that very soon I could touch them with her choosing "contact" tackling. Of course, I'll take necessary precautions not to be _too_ rough with her, always tucking the delicate beauty of her frame safely to the ground. _All the while, _accidentally_letting my fingers prod and poke as they please. _

I observe the way the light pink tank rests atop her midriff, hugging closely to swell of her tits and the incurvation of her waist. She is also wearing what I refer to as "cheerleader shorts." They are grey and fall just below her hip bones, knitting closely to her thighs and showing off the majority of her smooth, lean legs. All I can think about is licking every exposed surface, and as if in agreement with me, my dick grows harder.

I watch as she lithely bounces from one foot to the other, swinging her arms in a stretching motion as she rolls her neck and shoulders. My eyes watch her boobs spring up with each hop, hypnotized as they jiggle between the confines of her bra and the thin tank. _Score 1 for me, no sports bra. _Then I could have gotten down on my knees and thanked the loving sex gods because Bella spread her legs- _Not exactly in that manner, but I'm all for wishful thinking_- and bent over, swaying her upper body from her right ankle to her left repetitively as her cleavage is laid out on loving display for my ogling pleasure. She holds onto each ankle, adequately stretching her hamstrings and arms. Bella then leans her head up and giggles at my flabbergasted expression and questions, "Aren't you going to stretch?"

Making sure to wipe the drool from my chin, I nod and start my warm-ups. I turn to my left, grabbing my lower back and take pleasure in the slow burn of the stretching muscles. I shift to my right, copying my actions exactly. Next, I extend my legs and drop to one knee, stretching out my calves and hamstrings, pulling my body upward and leaning back to loosen the upper portion of my frame. The cool wind blows through, whipping my shirt firmly to my chest and away from my shorts. A circuit of nerves send electricity throughout my body, punctuating the feeling of eyes on me. I lean forward cockily, knowing the only person on this field with me is Bella. _I wonder if she's enjoying the view half as much as I had while looking at her? _

Her gaze is definitely on me. Standing a short distance away, her coffee-stained eyes work appreciatively over my body as her ponytail blows fiercely in the strong breeze behind her. My flesh instantly responds, heating under the intensity of her stare, and sending an extra jolt of energy to waken up the monster down below. I concentrate on steadying myself, wanting to run to her and pick her up in my arms, but knowing it would be too soon. _But then again, it always feels _too_ soon. At what point does it become the right time? I'm not sure, but I do know this moment isn't it._

"Ready to get started?" I question, while walking the small space between us.

She nods while saying, "Yep." While playfully biting her bottom lip, she quickly grabs the ball out of my hands and takes off running towards the end-zone. _Huh?_

I take off at a neutral pace behind her, calling, "Bella, now I know you didn't listen to me! That's not how this works."

As she nears the approximate goal-line, she spikes the ball and breaks down in a victory dance all the while screaming, "TOUCHDOWN, BITCHES!"

I really want to laugh with her, but as she twirls, my brain becomes captivated by the way her ass and boobs bounce in synchronization, tactfully causing the rest of my body to cease to exist. _Well, all except for Captain Cock who's trying to spring free from his confines._

I stride up close to her, amused by her enthusiastic celebration of not doing shit, and give her a little pat on the ass saying, "Good job."

Her motions immediately halt as she pivots around to face me abruptly. I hurriedly work my eyes over her reaction, finding her staring at me wide-eyed and innocent. The familiar blush instantaneously creeps up the slope of her neck and curls around the tip of her ears, signifying her embarrassment and my mortification. She idly rolls her lower lip with her fingertips as she looks up at me through her eyelashes, curiosity contorting her features as her eyebrows scrunch together. I watch as her chest rises and falls quickly, her already labored breaths growing speedier as the silence grows longer. Her whole expression is making me super fucking uneasy, and I start to wonder if I hadn't been completely wrong about everything. All those hints I thought she was throwing out could very well have been Bella just being Bella. _Shit, did I just fuck up or did I fuck up? Yeah, I fucked up._

My eyes instantly fall as I rush to make an apology, mumbling my sporadic thoughts as quickly as they lead from my brain to my mouth. "Bella, I'm sorry, it's just… football. Always being with the guys and it's just like a reward. No foul shit intended. Fuck, I suck."

She reaches forward, placing a comforting hand on my forearm and looks at me sympathetically. "Emmett, no, it's okay, I promise," she says, punctuated with a timid smile. "It was just… wow, I mean, it caught me off guard is all," she finishes, soothing away my worries for the time being.

I nod my head and then tilt it to the left, and ask, "Ready to try that again, Tiger. By the way, you cheated."

She chuckles and bounces her head, the brown waves from her ponytail falling over her shoulders, an appealing contrast to the creamy tone of her skin. "For the record, I was just making sure you were on your toes. You weren't," she says as she laughs and walks towards the middle of the field.

"Okay, so let's see if you listened to anything else I told you. I'll let you be the center and hike the ball to me, the quarter back. While behind you, I'll call the play, some sort of a fade, slant, or post route that I mapped out for you earlier. We want to choose from those to begin with so you don't feel overwhelmed. Are you with me so far?" I question. Staring into her blank expression, I somehow get the feeling that everything I said before and now completely went over her head.

Much to my relief, Bella slowly nods her head and points her forefinger towards the ground before asking, "Um, so I stand her? Then when you call the play, I pitch the ball between my legs and take off running?"

A brief chuckle escapes my lips because of Bella's slip of "ball between her legs," and I'm met with a quirked brow from her. "Head out of the gutter, Emmett, was I right?" she questions again.

"Yes, you were right. And for the record, I'd thoroughly enjoy seeing a set of balls between your legs," I retort, laughing as she rolls her eyes. _Preferably my set of balls to be exact._

I crouch down slightly behind her, creating a good trajectory angle to receive the ball while Bella turns to get into position. My eyes divert to the small cloud of dust that her feet stir as the set themselves in position. I watch as the warm brown tresses slice through the dirt, swirling the dark sienna ground with chocolate and slicing through sparse blades of grass. My gaze slowly begins to work over the expanse of her body, taking in every detail I see before me. I notice the tiny, pink "Bite Me" logo located on the outside of her socks and snigger inwardly. My eyes glide over the way her taught calves flex as she leans forward holding the ball in place on the ground. Looking further up, I'm met with a surreptitious smile as Bella watches me drink in her body from between her legs.

"Are you going to call the play soon? All the blood is rushing to my head," she whispers. _Blood's rushing to my head, too, and I'm not talking about the one where my brain is located._

"Um, yeah, sorry…" I trail off as my eyes raise to take in the spot where her ass meets her hamstrings, and perceive just how fucking tight her shorts are glued to said ass. The moisture in my mouth builds up as I salivate over the plump curve and notice the fact that there isn't any pantylines- no briefs, no thongs, no g-strings. _Fuck me. No lines means no underwear, which means nothing but skin underneath._

With my gaze heavily fixated on the curvature aligned with my face, the fantasies surging through my brain, and the memories built up over the past week, the play spills from between my lips before I even have time to process it. "Blue Ball 69, Blue Ball 69, HUT HUT!"

It's like someone pressed the slow-motion button as Bella's eyes become the size of saucers and she snaps the ball in my direction with an audible gasp. My words finally catch up to my brain as the ball hurdles in my direction, heading precisely at my face with a sharp spiral. My hands feel like lead weights as they move lethargically up to block the imminent collision. Then everything fast-forwards quickly and the ball meets my nose before my hands have time to react. Thousands of needles shoot off the slope of my nose and process quickly in my sensory-overloaded brain. I grasp at my face, both in mortification and pain. The prickling sensation continues as Bella's cowering figure becomes construed, and she whirls around to face me, stringing along muffled apologies as she clasps a hand over her mouth. I tuck my head to my chest, too embarrassed to face her- whether it was because of my inability to keep my horny brain in check or the uncoordinated limbs that failed me- I haven't the slightest clue. "Fucking shit, that hurts," I say, wallowing in my self pity and discomfort.

Bella reaches out with her fingertips to turn my face in her direction and says, "Emmett, oh my God, I'm so sorry! Let me see."

I jerk my face away from her, afraid to let her see the vulnerability that lays within my eyes, scared she'll see my insecurity with myself and loose the spark of motivation she had earlier. _I'm not a pussy, but here I sit with tears in my eyes. I look like a fucking baby that wants to run home to mommy so she can kiss my boo-boos. _

I choke out bitterly, "Bella, I said I'm fine." Then, rolling to my right, I raise my shoulders to further shield myself from her vision. It's not like I'm tormented with pain, butwhen I try to sniffle and wiggle my nose, a fresh round of tears cloud my vision and I hunker closer to the ground, waiting for it to open and swallow me whole.

She lets out an exasperated breath and audibly stomps her foot before she marches around to face me. "Em, will you cut the bullshit and let me see your damn face?"

Sighing, I briskly rub the tears from my eyes and drop my hands. She then places a delicate, curved finger underneath my chin and lifts against my reluctant head. With careful fingers, she gently pats the tender area on the bridge of my nose. I wince and grind my teeth together as she passes over the most sensitive area, imagining it bruised with purple and blue hues. _Unbelievable. I bet I look very fucking unattractive right now. _

Just as I was about to shrug off her attention for the second time and mutter something about "not being a baby," Bella lets her fingers dance across my cheek bones and settles them along the edge of my jaw. She starts leaning toward me, searching the depths of my eyes and looking for rejection. _She will find none._ I suck in a breath as her proximity grows nearer, and my heart rate doubles in reaction to her closeness. She puckers her lips and dips them over the sore region on the bridge of my nose, her feather-light kisses nothing but a whisper across my skin. Even so, my body becomes hyper-aware of the brief moment of contact and the way she lingers so dangerously close to me. Her lips travel warmly over the side of my nose, to my right cheek, kissing softly along its planes, before she returns to my nose and crosses to my left side, mimicking her actions precisely. Every nerve-ending flares and showers my body with bristles of sparks, as an underlying current shoots straight to my dick, awakening the beast as he hisses below the imprisonment of my boxer-briefs. She stops momentarily, reaching through my soul and pecks a kiss on the tip of my nose, once, twice, three times before her cocoa-colored eyes lower to my lips. As if on mere instinct, my tongue dips out and sweeps across my lower lip, practically inviting her to join in on the party in my mouth. I watch with bated breath as she works her teeth into her plump, bottom lip, digging in deeply with trepidation.

I lower myself down onto my knees with measured and deliberate actions. Slowly, without navigating my locked eyes away from her, I reach up and take her petite hands in mine, curling them inward as I lower them from my jaw and bring them to rest against my chest. Her face starts to heat and redden under the brunt of my stare, and she goes to move her face, shielding herself from me. I quickly swallow, easing the sudden dryness of my throat as I speak in a voice that isn't my own, hoarse and slightly muted. "Don't. Don't look away from me."

She squints her eyes, looking across my face as her fingers reflexively twist in my hand, and she settles her gaze back on my eyes. The depth of brown in them instantly warms me and makes me smile and whole. So many emotions flicker behind her eyes; curiosity, want, guilt, frustration, determination, intimacy, but most importantly, desire. There always seems to be this bond connecting our bodies, like the further she or I try to pull away, the stronger the elastic band grows and snaps us back together. The lust is evidently holding us tighter no matter how hard we try to fight against it. _God, I want this woman so much._

Time lingers between us and we share this unspoken connection, both of us feeling the temperature rising in our bodies, the air thick and suffocating around us, our breathing speeding as we seek out solace in each others' looks of need. Unexpectedly, a bird calls loud in the distance, and both of our heads snap in its direction, startled by the interference that wasn't anticipated. Her hands slide from my grip as I stand and swallow thickly, a little hurt by the detachment. She blinks rapidly and puts sufficient space between us, backing away a short distance before she gives a tight smile.

"So, you ready to try this again?" she questions, her words sounding forced and uneasy.

"You know what? I say I don't call anymore plays. How about you snap the ball, take off running and I hurdle it to you and chase you down?" I question, trying to lighten things up and make this more about the fun we should be having. Even though things seem to be airing out, the significance of our previous moment shared can't go unforgotten. There is a stronger charge in the air around us, each molecule buzzing with electricity as it builds a fortress around us. We can pretend that what almost happened didn't for now, but I'm not sure how long my attraction for her can be kept at bay.

She breathes out heavily with relief and quickly bobs her head, smiling a genuinely happy grin.

We get back in position, and I desperately try to keep my eyes trained on her face, looking for the snap and not at her luscious curves. She grins wickedly, sends the ball flying at me, and takes off running. I retreat backwards a few steps and throw the ball down the field. She tucks it into her side and continues to run for the end-zone. I sprint quickly down the field, needing to cover a lot of ground before she scores. I close the distance between us and narrow in on my target; defense is my element- my home. I wrap both my arms around her, folding her gently towards my body, and fall to the ground. I swiftly roll out from under her, and stand to my feet looking down at her light frame lingering on the ground. She pouts her lip out a bit in disappointment, obviously from not scoring, and not because she's in pain. I extend my hand to help her up, once again amazed at the weightlessness of her body and how my hand dwarfs hers. She bounces easily to her feet and quirks a brow, questioning, "First down?"

I chuckle at her unfamiliarity and answer, "Yes, first down."

She claps her hands excitedly, her eyes alive and dancing with enthusiasm and accomplishment. Then, she reaches around and smacks my ass, squeezing a little before her hand rejoins her side. I jump, shocked at her abruptness and raise my eyebrows at her.

She just giggles and shrugs her shoulders, stating, "What? It's football-courtesy-101 apparently."

I'm practically screaming in my head with giddiness because she wants to play _the game_, and not just football either. _Motherfucking giddy, I'm such a girl. This is going to be so damn fun though._

Bella scores on the next pass and frustration wells up inside of me because of my competitive side. I roughly kick the dirt with my shoe. I want to impress her, but her field maneuvering and lithe actions have me chasing her all around our wildlife arena. However, her excitement seems to be contagious, because once I see her dancing in the end-zone enthusiastically, I can't help but smile and run to her. She automatically hops on my back and squeezes her arms around my chest, pecking her lips on my cheek, and shouts, "I SCORED!" My heart races again, the heat of such a simple kiss causing my skin to bubble, and it's foreign to me. My face reddens slightly and I have to wonder where all my awkwardness over the past week has come from- considering I'm usually far from bashful. Shaking that thought off, I spin her around in a circle and let her slide from my back.

"Bella, that was awesome. Are you sure you haven't ever played because you are amazing?" I ask, tapping lightly on her nose with my pointer finger.

The pink hue rapidly pools in her cheeks as she smiles brilliantly, shaking her head, and answering, "No, never. Thank you. This really is fun."

Next is my turn. I carefully snap the ball toward her, not wanting a repeat of my swollen nose, and she catches it. She falls back in the pocket, and I pause, staggered because of her mobility and ease in the situation, she's a natural.

I'm broken out of my revelry as she laughs and yells, "Emmett, run, you idiot!"

I join in on her laughter and take off down the field. I turn to look over my shoulder for the ball and come to a complete stop. Flying towards me is this amazing spiral, thrown directly to my position, and I'm again astonished by her athleticism. How in the world does this coordination-challenged, beautiful woman play this sport effortlessly? It goes against _her_ laws of physics_. I swear if this woman was a man, she would have been a starter. Hell, she probably would have even went pro._

The ball falls into my arms, exceptionally placed without even a try on my part. All of a sudden, a soft body is bounding into me, sweeping me off my feet as I fall to the ground and land with a thump. Her laughter jostles her chest as she lays on top of me, causing my body to wake up fully, and I fight to hold back a groan while internally screaming at my dick to behave. She pushes up off my chest as she straddles me, looking down over me with hunger in her eyes. My blood starts to boil and my pulse speeds, but not because of my exertion from running. She marginally shifts her hips and a soft whimper springs from her lips. I feel myself growing harder and my eyes dilating, matching the fierceness in her eyes. She bites her lower lip and looks up at me through her lush lashes again, as her palms continue to bury themselves in my shirt. I watch as a single bead of sweat drips down from her ponytail, sliding down the length of her neck, over the swell of her breast, and disappearing below the opening in her top. It takes every bit of self-restraint I have not to grab her by her hips and shift her backwards to satisfy the friction my cock so desperately craves.

Then, as if she heard my thoughts, she rolls her hips backwards, making a fleeting encounter with the tip before she springs off of me, giggling as she bounces beside me. _Holy motherfucking shitballs! That woman is the damn devil, I tell you. So that's how she wants to do this? I guess she's better at the _game_ than I thought. _

"So, Miss Swan, since when did you become such an expert?" I question, still amazed at her ball-handling skills, as I stand up.

"Well, Mr. McCarty, I'd say I learned from watching the best," she retorts, making my face flame with the sweetness and sincerity of her compliment. _Seriously, when did I become such a girl? That's the second or third blush today._

Both games continue for more than an hour as we both try repetitively to up the ante. Every brush of her boobs made by my hands is met by her lingering over me with each of her tackles. Each time I accidentally graze her lower lips with my thumb when taking the snap too soon, she responds by unintentionally grinding into my dick as she gets out from under me. Instead of patting her ass, I grab it, and she pushes her tits in my face. The longer this process persists, the more aroused we each become and I'm on the verge of cracking under the pressure. Every time I push her limits a little further, she meets me stroke for stroke, grind for grind, grope for grope.

The sun is high in the sky now, ducking behind the clouds that are rolling in occasionally. I watch like a voyeur from my spot across the field as she drinks from her water bottle, her chest heaving from all the vigorous activity. I run my hair through damp curls, some plastering to my forehead as I breathe deeply, trying to calm myself. I lean over to rub my knee, brushing my fingers across my scar, and try to soothe the slight ache and burn from the old injury. _I'll have to call it quits soon; I haven't played this hard in a while._

I stand back up, meeting Bella's gaze from across the field, our eyes locking intensely as the tension builds between us, the strained waves rolling off of our bodies and building a circuit in the distance between us. This is too much; I'm feeling too much. My shirt sticks to me and it's weighing me down, making me feel as though I'm asphyxiating and choking under its solidity. I reach quickly over my shoulder and bring the back of my t-shirt over my head. Tossing it to the ground, I smooth over the black wife-beater and search for her eyes again. One of her brows rises significantly as if questioning the challenge. I hadn't meant it to be, but I was curious to see if she'd make us equal. She counters without thinking, raising the bottle of water over her head, letting the wetness trickle over her head, down across her shoulders, boobs, and back. I swallow thickly, my whole body vibrating with the need I have for her. She walks slowly across the field, swaying her hips and shaking her hair, letting the wet ringlets and rivulets of water cascade around her shoulders and fall between the hollows of her breasts. Reaching down for the bottom of my tank, I rip it over my head, again matching her beat for beat. Her footsteps falter as she stares hungrily over my shirtless frame. I search her body and face, silently pleading for her to take this risk with me, quietly begging her to fall into the unknown with me. _Will she meet _this_ challenge?_

With the quick bat of her eye, she tosses the water bottle to the ground and flings her tank over her head, throwing it to rest beside the bottle. My eyes break into a million pieces, anxious to take in every uncovered area all at once, afraid of missing out on the opportunity to gaze upon perfection. I watch as she speedily drags oxygen into her lungs, the rapid rise and fall of her chest is stunning. The smooth satin of her rose-colored bra is pressing her cleavage high, leaving my mouth full of moisture and my throat dry as a bone. I scan quickly over the expanse of her sweaty abdomen, impatiently taking in the curves of her hips, remembering the softness of her lips, and dying to be near her.

My brain shifts into action before I even have time to process it. I sprint stealthily across the field, eyes set heavily on my objective**- **_her_.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Incapable of rationalizing my thoughts, I don't think, I just react. I'm powerless to my arousal for this man, helpless to subsidize my enraptured state, and surrender effortlessly to my internal want. Swiftly grabbing the hem of my shirt, I yank it over my head and toss it to the ground, like the useless material that it is, without a second thought. I swallow quickly as I watch Emmett's eyes work favorably over the expanse of my body, causing my breathing rate to spike considerably. I can hardly hear anything except for the pounding of my heart in my ears, the world nonexistent except for this moment and the sight of hunger in his eyes. I wait nervously as time seems to trickle by slowly, my body reacting to the impact of his stare, locking me in this spot as my brain rapidly works in overtime. I feel my center growing wet as he licks his lips and his eyes wonder again across my frame, before something snaps in him and he moves with expert precision across the field.

My heart rate picks up tremendously, causing my body to vibrate with excitement as he gets closer to me, but he isn't getting here soon enough. I take off in a sprint toward him, needing to be near him…_or just needing him_.

Without hesitation, I leap into his arms as he grabs my ass and hoists me in the air. My legs quickly wrap around his torso and I lock my ankles together at the small of his back. With my elbows resting on his shoulders, my fingers entangle in the dampness of his hair as I stare at him curiously through my desire. So many emotions flicker in his cerulean blue gaze- vulnerability, lust, eagerness, joy, and pure, raw need. This is the moment I've searched for all day, now is the time. I grasp at his curls and pull his face closer to mine, crushing my lips to his with a fervor unknown to me. His tongue swipes along my lower lip, beckoning me to draw him nearer as he squeezes my ass tighter in his hands. I whimper loudly as our tongues connect, a shock of pure bliss as they cross and glide naturally with one another. I wiggle in his hands, clutching tighter with my thighs as I crawl up his body, trying to connect every inch of myself with him, the last few centimeters of separated flesh pleading and seeking him out. A low rumble emanates from his chest as he pulls away from my lips and glides his forearms to secure me at the small of my back. I instantly whine at the loss of his lips on mine, part of our connection lost and leaving me desolate.

He nudges my jawline with the tip of his nose, signaling me to expose my neck to him. I willingly oblige, needing to feel him again as our chests hurdle rapidly at one another, and I eagerly gulp down the much-needed air. The moment his lips connect with my neck, a fresh round of tingles spread across my skin, attacking my body with their forcefulness as they settle in the center between my legs. My breathing hitches as he works the flat of his tongue over the slope of my neck, only to stop at the small spot behind my ear before sucking my earlobe into his mouth. I moan loudly and grind my hips against him as he holds me tighter, growling in response to my audible plea for more. I let my fingers detach from his hair as I work my fingertips over his perspiring muscles, digging my nails into the deep tissue of his shoulder, trying to pull him even closer across the invisible space that lurks between us. I still feel this void even though our bodies are so closely linked and try to render that.

Without warning, Emmett sinks his teeth into the exposed flesh above my collarbone as a strangled mutter of desire rolls from lips. My flesh heats even further as I feel his tongue swirl over the bitten skin. His tongue feels warm and inviting, but it cools my body as it slides across my collarbone, causing a slight shiver to ripple throughout my frame. I push my hands over his shoulders and drag my nails into the contours of his back, as he propels his chest forward, hissing as my nails gather the moisture of his sweaty skin and scratch along the planes of his back. He then rubs his nose over my chest, inhaling deeply as he whispers huskily against my skin, "God, you smell like fucking strawberries, all warm and delicious. I need you so much… wanted to have you for so long."

I exhale a shaky breath as my body trembles at his words, my arousal climbing significantly knowing that he's wanted me for a while as well. I try to respond, but my voice catches roughly in my parched throat so I just nod slowly and wrap my arms around his neck, bringing my lips to his again. He sighs into my waiting mouth before our tongues twist together once more, igniting the dormant embers to a slow-flickering flame. We continue to kiss passionately, our eagerness growing into frantic explorations of one another's mouth. We pull away gasping, pulling the air into our lungs desperately. I move my lips to his neck and across his shoulder as he continues to pant beside my ear. His breath fans across my skin and triggers a scorching prickling sensation to spread in its path. His hold on me loosens as he reaches up with one hand to unclasp my bra with expertise. I tilt away from him briefly as I pull the offensive material away from my body and fling it to the ground. He leans back and his ravenous gaze penetrates through my flesh, making my blood bubble, as goosebumps instantly spring out across my skin. My limbs fall limp as I become feeble prey to the appetence in his eyes. "So fucking beautiful, Bella, swear to God," he murmurs as he continues to look at my bare chest.

His arms inch up my back to encircle me fully, and he hugs me roughly, causing my chest to arch toward him. His head ducks forward quickly as he licks my right nipple roughly and circles around it once. I gasp immediately as he pulls it into his mouth, twirling the taut peak with his tongue and sucking lightly on the tip. Watching his ministrations is wildly erotic as I gaze at him furtively, peering at the way his cheeks tighten and his jaw clenches and loosens as it works to bring me pleasure. Then without warning, he crosses hastily and bites down on my left nipple causing a loud cry of desire to stem from my throat and fall from my lips. My back arches more notably as my head falls backward and my fingers roughly interweave in the dampness of his hair, fervently pulling his face closer to my breast. The inner heat of my body doubling under the magnitude of his current actions, leaving me breathless and weak, begging for more.

"So good, so damn good," I mumble repeatedly as he continues to work meticulously over my chest. The ever-growing flame starts to burn more ferociously below the surface as he continues to assault my chest with nibbles, sucks, kisses, and bites. I draw my hips away momentarily before I push them forward forcibly and grind them against his hardened cock. His moan is muffled by my breast in his mouth, but it inspires me to mimic my previous movements. I loosen my legs briefly and shift my hips backwards before I tighten my thighs again and collide with his dick once more, growing increasingly agitated by the flimsy clothing keeping me from the skin to skin contact I crave the most. In that instant, as if he is reading my mind, his fingers disengage from the hold they have above my hips and work into the elastic band of my shorts. He slides his hands over my bare ass, causing me to shiver and wiggle every single bit closer to him.

Pulling his mouth away from my breast, he smirks at me while stating breathily, "I fucking knew you didn't have on any underwear. God, you're such a sexy, little minx." While staring through hooded eyes, he continues to work his hands over my bare flesh, kneading my ass with his pliant hands and causing the steady flow of moisture to pool between my legs. I imagine his fingers feeling me in all the places I've secretly fantasized about him touching for so long.

I run my tongue smoothly over my bottom lip before sinking my teeth in with a coy smile of my own and question, "Did you now? How ever did you come to that realization?"

He then cups my ass firmly in his rough hands before answering, "I came to that realization when I stared at your ass and didn't see any pantylines." Then as an affirmation, he squeezed my asscheeks before seizing my lips in a sizzling kiss, my retort immediately dying in my throat and replaced with a throaty moan.

He uses the grip he has on my butt to rock my hips into his time and time again. The intensity of each thrust building, the urgency in our kiss growing, and the unrequited lust is erupting. Pulling away from his mouth, I let my lips glide over his throat, across his chest, frantically seeking out every available surface they can touch and taste. The salt of his sweat and the taste of _him_ collecting on my tongue combined with the assiduity of his thrusting movements causes the craving to skyrocket and the words to spill from my lips, "Emmett, I want… no, I need you to fuck me."

Without a second thought, my feet are on the ground, the last remnants of our clothing nothing but a frenzied blur of fabric swirling toward the terrain. I'm immediately swept back up in his waiting arms, neither of us saying a thing, our accelerated heartbeats and erratic breathing speaking volumes, and the passion in our eyes signaling the desire we have for each other. No words are spoken because none are needed.

Bending his knees slightly, Emmett lets my ass slip from his arms as I grab his cock in my trembling hands. Stroking it once up and down, I position it at my center. Taking the head and rubbing it between my folds, I gather moisture as I rub it over my clit and back down to my entrance, causing us both to shudder and our curses to become interwoven and echoing in the distant forest around us. Reaching forward, I clasp my hands tightly around his neck and work my body against his, grinding and needy against his dick as I anticipate the plunge that will send me over the edge. Emmett pushes forward slowly while inch by inch of him gets capsulated by my heat. When he completely fills me, we both let out a guttural moan as our naked bodies collide, and he sits completely sheathed by me. This feeling, this moment is more than I ever thought it could be. I can feel him every where, my body encompassing him, his essence fully surrounding me and making me complete. _Instantly, I am terrified by the intensity of my emotions as they take over me unreservedly, and threaten to corrupt our connection. But there is no stopping now. Stopping would be impossible. I can't turn back now. I won't._

Emmett reaches down and positions my legs over his forearms, and I scoot my hips forward to lock my knees over his elbows. With my legs dangling and his forearms securely threaded around them, Emmett draws away from me before he pushes forward, becoming fully encased by me again. Then, reaching down, he cups my ass more eagerly in his hands and lifts me up while pulling out simultaneously, and then lowers me back down and pushes forward to thrust into me once more. Each time he pulls away, I'm left with an emptiness that causes me to whimper for more. Every time he plunges inside of me, a feeling of unity rocks my frame and reverberates in every corner of my brain. His slow, but powerful thrusts combined with his desirous whispers cause the heat to instantaneously build within my body, slow and sweltering. With every push, he vocalizes more and more of his longing for me, and I plead for him to take me harder, deeper, and faster. Our slick skin causes little friction between us, allowing our bodies to glide effortlessly against one another, but also severely limits our movement.

Finally, straining to speak, Emmett states softly between thrusts and pants, "Bella, I can't hold you like this. Fuck, so good. You keep slipping, and I can't get deep enough. I will never get deep enough. Damn, so tight, so fucking wet."

Trying to level out my breathing, I request, "Put me down."

His head snaps up as he stares at me inquisitively with a hint of despair, "What? Why?"

I irritatingly question, "Do you want to do… _this_ or not?"

He nods his head cautiously as he slows his advances before he halts his actions entirely. Lifting my ass, he removes his cock from inside me and untangles my legs from his arms. With aggravation and reluctance apparent in his facial features, he puts me down.

I whirl around quickly, scanning for a patch of thicker grass in the field. Emmett hastily grabs my hips and turns me around to face him. "Bella, I don't understand?" he asks, while quirking a brow and digging his fingers more brusquely into my hip bones.

"I'm looking for somewhere to lay, calm down," I say, trying to keep the impatience and eagerness out of my voice.

"What? No, I'll take you home. We can…" he trails off, while scratching the back of his neck before continuing, "you know, do _that_ at the… uh, apartments."

My head immediately lifts to his face and I stare into his eyes, pleading with my own. "No, I need you here. Now. Need you," I say, my voice unfamiliar to me as I feel my insides curling in on themselves. My feelings of desire are mixing with a cyclone of other emotions in my urgent state to have sex with him.

Emmett leans down, gently placing his lips on mine while his fingers run through the lengths of my hair. "I told you, I need you, too. Now."

He starts walking me backwards and my breathing increases speed at the zeal look in his eyes as they stare back at me. The way his fingertips explore across my flesh sends an electric current throughout my body, scorching my frame to the bone, as he leads me towards the unknown, and I go willingly. I try to convey so much to him while I hold my eyes on his- I want this, I've longed for this moment, _I trust you. _After walking a short distance, the bottom of my feet detect the prickling sensation of scanty blades of grass, and the dry heat of the dirt still lurking sparingly underneath it.

He bites his lip and looks down before bringing his focus back to me. "This looks like the best spot," he states as more of a question than a statement.

I don't even turn around to look as I automatically begin to kneel toward the ground. Placing my palms behind me in the grass, I slowly start guiding my limbs backward before I'm completely splayed out before him. My body a semblance of my devotion to this point in time. It's his, he can do with it what he pleases as long as he fucks me. The longer he gazes at my body, the louder my heart booms in my ears and my skin becomes a dull blister. I can feel my pulse racing under my skin and my legs shake from sheer anticipation.

His hands trail up my body, my skin bursting into flames under his touch, as he positions his body between mine and spreads my legs. I whimper loudly as his cock grazes my clit, and he crouches over me while leaning down to suck my bottom lip into his mouth. Upon releasing my lip, he beckons a response while his lips are nothing but a whisper away from mine, "Tell me, Bella. Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

I let out a shaky breath and whisper into his mouth, my voice sounding foreign and scratchy even to myself, "You. I want you to _fuck me__**.**_"

In a single instant, the world explodes and several things happen simultaneously. A loud thunder clap resonates in the air above us, heightening the power of this second and making the event seem more animalistic, our bodies intertwining to become one in nature. In one swift movement, he seizes my lips and propels his cock deep inside of me. My screams are muffled by his lips on mine and the thunder erupting above, but not unrecognizable to either of us as my cry vibrates throughout our bodies. My hands immediately crawl to his back, pulling him to my chest as my quivering legs wrap firmly around his thighs, coercing him further into me. I faintly acknowledge the blades of grass digging into my skin and the dirt and pebbles marring my flesh as Emmett pounds my tiny frame into the ground, inch by deliciously agonizing inch. My only awareness is the contours of his shoulders as they hug closely to the side of my body, how immaculate his lips and tongue feel dancing with mine, and how incredibly smooth and satisfying his cock is as he thrusts in and out of me. My body begins to quake as the flickering embers become a forest fire, raging beneath my skin and rocking my body under it's blaze.

He pulls himself upright into a sitting position, yanking my hips back against him forcibly and causing me to cry out into the air around us. Placing my tremulous thighs against his sweaty abdomen, he wraps his forearms around them as he continues to ferociously pound into me, hitting places inside of me that I barely knew existed, and awakening every dead crevice in body. The fire continues to scorch my insides as the familiar warmth of an impending orgasm gathers in the pit of my stomach. He leans forward quickly, changing the angle and dives deeper inside of me as I continue to thrash my head from side to side at the sheer pleasure soaring through my pulsating frame.

"You like this, Bella? Is this how you want me to fuck you? Do you like it deep and rough?" he questions through gritted teeth and hungry eyes.

"God, yes! So close…" I scream, trailing off and unable to complete my thoughts as the excruciating yearning coaches me closer to my sating end.

Quicker than I'm able to process, he reaches down and roughly circles my clit with his thumb as he grips my right leg tightly against him. Each thrust seems more determined than the last as the electric fuses ignite within my body and sparks begin to fly. My back arches off the ground and my eyes shut tightly as I'm propelled into a mind-altering orgasm. Wave after wave of pleasure assaults me as he steadily pushes me over the cliff and into a sea of satisfaction.

"That's right, baby, cum for me. Scream _my_name," he demands.

Just when I think my body can't bear anymore and I start to ascend to dry land, Emmett pinches the bundle of sensitive nerves and clamps his teeth down into my calf. My frame becomes a ricocheting ball of ecstasy, bouncing off the walls of rapture and hurdling me into the abyss of complete bliss. His name repeatedly spews from between my lips as I wonder how much more of this paradise my body can take.

As if on command, the heavens open and the downpour of rain secretes us with its moisture. Emmett starts to slow his thrusts as he leans forward, bending my body in only ways a gymnast should be able to bend. With my knees bent to each side of my breasts, he leans in and kisses me passionately as the thunder continues to resound above, magnifying the stillness of nature around us. With my spirit completely weak, I allow him to manipulate my body in various positions as he draws closer to his own orgasm. Pulling away from me to massage my breast, I watch as his face contorts beautifully. _Perfectly_. His eyebrows scrunch and rise as the determination and need races across his features. Watching him work so diligently above me causes this unknown feeling to bubble inside of me and I want to bring him all the joy and pleasure he's brought me. As I stare at him, my gaze transfixing on his shoulders rippling, his abs crunching, his delicious "V" shaping and dipping as he thrusts into my heat, I feel another blast of warmth creep into my abdomen. _Really… again?_

I want us to get there together. I reach forward and bring his face to mine, stroking his cheek sweetly but in a steady rhythm to mimic his thrusts inside of me.

"Emmett, open your eyes," I whisper, needing to see him.

He submits and gives me what I need. Slowing to a more intimate speed, he

leans a minute distance away and open his eyes. Captivating me, I'm lost in the depth of blue, indulging in the urgency and some other unplaced emotion I see lurking in them. Overwhelmed with… everything, I tilt my face to his and softly graze my lips against his mouth. He leans into the kiss, putting a fiery passion into the delicacy of merely our lips touching. Pulling away, he lays his cheek against mine as his chest rises and falls rapidly, matching my owned labored breaths exactly.

"Cum with me," I murmur against his cheek, pecking it softly with my lips.

He moves to rest his forehead against mine and nods, locking his eyes on me. I lace my fingers in his hair and start to swim in his aquatic stare. His movements are deep and deliberate, powerful and containing so much emotion. I feel like I'm choking, digging into the ground to hold me to this earth as everything I know threatens to slip away while I continue to be uprooted by this concentrated force. Something about this moment transcends time and unlocks fragments in my brain, and I start to drown. As he pushes into me and whispers inaudible words against my skin, time slows and I navigate away from myself. Peering down at the two lovers below me, it's more than sex to them, more than fleeting lust. Something in their realm of desires shifts and the moment becomes meaningful, the balance between lust and intimacy construing. Instead of embarking and driving hurriedly through their actions until their needs are met, they become passionate and center themselves together, teetering on the edge until they become whole.

As there bodies continue to writhe together, their moves synchronizing, and the tension continues to build, my body falls back into my own. The divine torture finally reaches its limit and Emmett and I fall over the cliff together screaming each other's name, our souls clinging helplessly to one another. As my world continues to spiral out of control and a deep fire courses through my veins, my mind processes a time when Emmett and I can share a day together, a life together. And then I fall back down to Earth.

Quickly pushing that thought from my brain, Emmett rolls off of my body and squishes his muscles deep into the mud beside me. Staring up into the sky as the rain pours down on us, we lay quietly together, satiated and panting because of the sex, both of our minds millions of miles away. _And quite possibly on each other._

* * *

**A/N: So, first off, you can see this isn't the last chapter, we need reactions, correct? Quite frankly, I don't know if it will ever be over, I don't think I can shut up long enough to end it. My question to you is- Do you see this becoming a full story? Would you like to see if Emmett and Bella can develop a relationship together? If so, would you be interested in reading something like that? I need my readers' opinions to see if it would be accepted or if you feel that the extent of their connection is solely wrapped in one brief union of sex. So, if you don't mind, leave me a quick review on your thoughts.**

**Secondly, a band of three lovely and talented authors (tby789, Ninapolitan, and Lola Shoes) developed a way for the fandom as a whole to come together and fight against a deserving cause. The Fandom Gives Back was founded to help aid in research for children's cancer by a way of donations. You don't have to give a large amount, but every single penny goes towards the cause. For more information, visit www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com.**

**Lastly, but not least, thanks to the amazing Rhi, Live720, who betas my shit and makes it sound pretty. Also, a quick thanks to my BBR hoors, my SOB bitches, and my RAoR PattinAngels.**

**Visit the SOB blog, www(dot)teamsob(dot)blogspot(dot)com. We talk about ourselves, interview other authors, discuss fanfiction, provide recs, and discuss the actors of the sexy saga.**

**Thanks and Smooches,**

**Christina**


	7. Chapter 7: Body Betrayal

**So, I'm back. It's been a little while. We won't discuss my absence, I'm sure you're tired of my delays, but thanks for your patience. For all that continue to review, favorite, or alert, I adore you and appreciate you more than you know.**

**Secondly, if you wouldn't mind, leave me a comment telling me how you found my fic. Did someone rec it, did you find it by chance, or did you pick me up from the SOB challenge or my Rhi love?**

**Next order of business, I've never said it before, but music as a key influence with how I write. This chapter, for Em's POV I used "Heaven Sent" by Hinder and for Bella's POV I used "Gravity" by John Mayer. I'll discuss the continuance of LUST in the bottom author's note.**

**(Edit: Chapter outfits are available on my profile.)**

_*******_**DISCLAIMER**_**:******* All recognizable characters, settings, and references are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. However, the rest of this that you read is mine, be a sweet and don't jack my shit. (Pssst... I'm not above cutting people, just sayin'. Wait, can I be held accountable for that? Yeah, I'm only kidding about a knife, but dead serious about thieving.)**_

* * *

"**Chapter 7: Body Betrayal"**

_**EmPOV**_

As the rage of the storm starts to lessen above us, I feel the dire intensity of my previous actions slowly dissipate from my core as a slow circuit of energy continues to pass from my body to hers as she lays beside me. The thunder sounds in the distance, signifying the passing of the storm as I struggle to regulate my heart beat and try to keep it from pounding out of my chest, collecting my breath in short spurts of oxygen. As I turn my face towards the dreary sky, the rain splashes around my head and trickles over my body, and I can still feel Bella panting heavily beside me. Rolling my shoulders, I feel my frame sink deeper into the mud as my muscles maintain the sizzling burn of excessive use. My mind becomes one all it's own, as the storm gently swirls around me, reminding me of everything that has come to fruition. I sigh exhaustedly and close my eyes, my brain frenziedly relaying images of us, disjointed in it's entirety, piecing bits and pieces of our time together like a blurred, masterful montage on an old projector.

_The thunderstorm itself was reminiscent of our episode of passion. The downpour was similar to the tips of her fingers skating around the depths of my muscles while she was exploring my skin, tumultuous and sensual, digging in the crevices to cement her body to mine. Every touch was a promise of future touches, awakening every part of my body and calling out to my inner most self. The wind was comparable to the swift blows of her breath on my chilled skin, fanning in our fatigue as we rushed to whisper desire upon desire, making ourselves heard in the heat of the moment. All the yearn, all the need, every wish was spoken aloud as if we'd never be granted a time like this again. The howls of the thunder, earth-shattering and colossal, were a mere representation of our orgasms, jointed and mind-numbing as it split us in two and brought us closer together concurrently. Last but not least, the lightning bolts, sparking the heat within our bodies, causing our blood to fume as we became a catalyst to the concentrated forces of ardor. _

The recollection of it causes me to shiver and inwardly heats my skin. Wrapping myself further in my subconscious, my mind bombards me with a flickering mirage of Bella's body writhing below me, beckoning me forward in luscious whispers, creamy, cool skin colliding with my own, desirous whimpering sliding from between her lips and her crying my name. _Yes, she was screaming my name. _

_I recall as I looked down on her while she was riding out her first orgasm the way her back arched and her eyes squeezed closed tightly. It was so fucking unbelievable. Her body was that of a beautiful contortionist, her enticing tits rising to meet me, tempting me with their taut peaks as no words were spoken, not a sound was issued as she grit her teeth and rode the waves of bliss in silence. I wanted to hear her; I needed to hear her. This feral energy bounded front and center as I demanded, "That's right, baby, cum for me. Scream _my_name." I needed her to understand that it was me giving her this divine pleasure, me she was begging to take her harder and deeper, me manipulating her body in ways she had only dreamed, and me pushing her over the edge… _ME_. I felt primitive and possessive, a feeling of jealousy ransacked my body and I bit down on her calf and pinched her clit, claiming her body and spirit as my own. When my name finally rolled from between her lips repeatedly as she came hard and fast, my ribs felt like they would expand and shred my skin with the amount of joy and elation it brought me. _

The way this tiny person capsizes me with these crazy emotions is inexpressible. The memory alone of how the sheer look of ecstasy plays across her face when her world is exploding makes my heart pound furiously in my chest. I roll to my side, breathing in deeply as the smell of strawberries, air, and life assault me. I can't help but to smile broadly as this bizarre feeling fixes itself deep within my body while I gaze over the flawlessness that lays beside me. Her silhouette being one that would make angels cry and priests repent. Even though her hair is a tangled, clumped mess of dark brown, full of leaves and dirt, and mud is covering almost every exquisite inch of her luminous skin, I can't help but think how fucking gorgeous she is to me. With her eyes shut, I watch as her chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm as her hands ghost over her body, playing gently on the outskirts of her frame. I feel my cock begin to grow harder again when the memory of how delicate her body felt below mine, how soft and smooth her skin felt against me. _What I wouldn't give to be her hands right now?_

Sitting up, I push off away from the moist soil with my hands, leaving a precise hand indentation in the muck while my eyes explore down the length of her frame. There on her right calf is an exact mold of my teeth. Two arcs marring her impeccable beauty, evidence to my need for her, how completely lost to the situation I truly was, and lastly, my desire to make her mine. _Where did all these feeling come from? What am I hoping to get out of all this? _

Unable to keep my hands from her skin any longer, I run my fingertips over the bite mark and cringe away from the feel of broken flesh against mine, my stomach turning in on itself with disgust. _When had I become so barbaric? I might as well beat my chest, put on my best caveman voice, and say, "Me Emmett. You Bella. Me want to fuck you hard." It's disgraceful in the least, like spray-painting over the Sistine Chapel or hacking away at the statue of "David." It's blasphemous to blemish such rare perfection._

As I resume gliding my fingers indolently along her calf, I hear a small giggle ring out in the air around me, swaddling me like a blanket and making me feel replete. I peek out the corner of my eyes and see her leaning forward, her body resting solely on her bent elbows as waves of mud and hair cascade over her bare chest. _Fuck me, she even makes mud attractive._ I feel my lip curl into a charming smile as I turn to face her full on, stretching my legs out in front of me and squishing deeper into the mud around me while placing her feet in my lap. After I settle myself, she looks at me briefly before she throws her head backwards and falls into a level of hysterical laughter that rivals an ecstatic child, chuckles bubbling from the deepest parts of her chest as her tits bounce with every reverberation. "Oh my God, Em, you look fucking ridiculous." _Ouch, my pride!_

"Well, Bella, you aren't the cleanest pig in the sty," I state irritatingly, feeling a little hurt.

She gasps and questions, "Emmett McCarty, did you just call me fat?"

I rush into a quick apology, saying, "Hell no, of course not! I'm just… fuck, you are dirty, too, is all I'm trying to say." _Smooth move, Rico Suave. _

Her smile turns into an ejulation of uproarious chortles as she maneuvers her body in the mud, turning on her side and tracing the outline of my handprint in the soaked dirt. "Emmett, when did you become so awkward?" she asks cautiously, treading lightly as if she's afraid I'm a ticking time bomb.

I ponder her question for a moment because I have asked myself that exact question several times over these past few days. Reaching my hands forward, I begin to rub her legs and admire the curve of her body on its side. An angel sent just for me. Creamy shoulders, pert breast, small waist, heavenly hips, long lean legs, firm muscles, soft skin- all of her sexy, every fraction of her body is beautiful. _All of it's making me stiff again, and there's no way I can do it. She's probably really sore. I'm an ass for fucking her so roughly. _

_She did ask for it though._

_That's true, but it doesn't mean that's how she should be treated anyways._

_Yeah, but she asked for it._

_You do have a point._

_Yeah, we can be pretty fucking brilliant when we want to be._

Hearing a throat clearing brings me back to the present as I try to refocus my attention. I look to find Bella hiding behind her dark curtain of waves, her hand resting in the center of my handprint, making this lingering foreign feeling bubble within me again. _What the hell is that?_

She then removes her hand and tucks the hair behind her ear, biting her lip self-consciously as cowering eyes meet mine. I lick my lips and feel the crease form deeply between my brows as I speak hesitantly, not sure if she truly wants the truth. _It's not like I can hide much from her anyways._

"I suppose it all began this past week. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around you. I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing, or doing things I'm not suppose to… just afraid of fucking it up. And I'm not really sure what that _**it**_ thing is that I'm so terrified of losing. I'm constantly confused, unsure, and I don't know how to handle that because I've never been like… this…" I say, trailing off, uncertain if I've disclosed to much information.

I watch as her eyebrows scrunch together as she slowly nods her head. My breathing increases in speed as an rapid surge of anxiety takes over my body with each second of silence that passes us by. I stare at her intensely, trying to dive inside her brain in search of my answers, desperately reading her body language to discover the mystery that is this woman.

After a short time that seems like forever, she begins to retrace my hand pattern with her pointer finger and timidly whispers, "Yeah, well this was…" she tapers off, apprehensive to finish her statement.

My body begins to vibrate with the tremors that are racing through me, my mind on edge awaiting her complete statement. I trap the air inside my lungs, too afraid to breath and tense with trepidation. _What does she think? How does she feel about it? Was her world uprooted and changed forever like mine? Can she just ignore what happened between us? Oh God, is that what she wants to do? Does she think it was a mistake?_

She finally tilts her face towards mine and a slight smile spreads across her face. "It was nice," she finishes, keeping her answer classy, feeling no need to elaborate.

I feel the air escape my body in a whoosh, temporarily satisfied with her response on the matter. Hopefully I can get her to expand on it later because I need to know if she felt the balance shift like I had.

Sitting forward, I reach for her hand and state, "We need to get you home and showered. I don't want to get you sick."

Gently placing her hand in mine, the tingles begin to shoot between us as our fingers interlock and we walk in search of our discarded clothing.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

As I sit in the passenger seat and stare out the window, my body feels compressed with all the unspoken words between us. I stare out the window and follow the path of flowing rain droplets with my finger as they trail down the glass. I instinctively sketch out the pattern of Emmett's body because it will forever be stained on my brain. I sense his eyes on me, and I fidget nervously in my seat, which is odd seeing as I had been naked in front of him less than an hour ago. As we turn off on the highway exit, leading toward the apartments, my feelings begin to dissolve as guilt creeps into my body. My conscience finally catching up with me as I near our home. _Oh God, Edward, what have I done? Why had I been so foolish?_ A lone tear escapes my eye as the culpability continues to build around me.

Without realizing we had parked, I am startled when Emmett opens my door and flashes me a devious grin. I give him a tight smile, trying to hide my guilt, not wanting him to return to the nervous wreck he had been on the field when I took too long to answer. However, being in tune with me so well, his broad smile falls as he looks at me inquisitively. Taking his hand, he helps me out of the jeep as we make our way into the building complex. When we reach the entrance door, I drop his hand from mine, and look away from him. I can't see his face, but I can feel the dejection radiating from him in palpable energy.

As we walk in the door, the security guard, Felix, greets us and after taking in our appearance, questions, "Playing in the mud, Miss Bella?"

I giggle softly and reply, "Yes, Emmett was teaching me how to play football and it began to rain."

I watch as Felix's lips skewer into a sly smile as he retorts, "I'm sure you were most excellent in all the positions."

The heat instantly floods my body, and I'm absolutely positive I'm as bright as a tomato. I hear Emmett cough forcefully behind me as he steps forward and states, "Absolutely, Felix, she makes a fantastic tight end."

I whirl around to stare at him, flabbergasted by his statement and completely mortified as Felix stands before us stunned. Without another thought, I race to the elevators and hurriedly push the button. _As if pushing it repeatedly will make the elevator get here faster. _I feel Emmett come up behind me as he whispers into my ear, "Who lit a fire under your ass, Pinky?"

I let out a shuddered sigh as his voice breaks across my skin, stirring up the feelings of desire again as I feel him standing like a haunting shadow inches away from me. I bite my lip to hold in the moan threatening to slice between my lips as I feel his breath coming in short gasps as it blows quickly through the hair at the back of my neck. Just as I feel his featherlight touches creep up my back, the elevator dings and opens to us. I rush in quickly and stand on the wall opposite of him, keeping my face hidden by hair and my head down. When the elevator dings again, signaling the arrival of our floor and opens its doors, I bolt again.

Once I reach the apartment, I grab my keys speedily and unlock the door. As soon as the door is open, my body gets swept off the ground by Emmett as he carries me toward the sink. Situating my body on the counter, he turns on the water and runs his fingers through it as his eyes linger over my body. My blood begins to run fiercely through my veins as my heart pumps viciously in my chest. Stepping between my dangling legs, I feel my breathing growing ragged with his close proximity. He absentmindedly opens a drawer and fishes out a washcloth, running it under the water before he brings it to my skin. Drawing sensuous circles across my arm with the damp fabric, he cleanses my skin as he stares into my eyes intently and tenderly runs his hand over my thigh. Next, he brings the rag next to my face with one hand and brushes the bundled mess of curls away from my forehead with the other. He gently places the warm cloth against my frozen skin and I lean into his touch, closing my eyes and purring quietly as he caresses my cheek and wipes the dirt away. Goosebumps scatter across my flesh as his affectionate touches lurk on the top of my skin. As I slowly open my eyes, I inhale sharply because I'm accosted with his scent, warm and alluring, calling to me from deep within as his breath fans across my face, his lips closing the distance between mine.

All at once, the front door is flung open and a female voice bellows from the entrance way, "Honeys, we're home!"

I sit completely still, my body rigid and my eyes wide as my bubble of security bursts around me, everything flooding my brain and my emotions pulling me in eighty directions.

"Well, well, well, doesn't this look promising?" she sniggers as she stares between Emmett and me.

I immediately shove Emmett away from my body and out from between my legs, hurriedly closing them and knotting my fingers in my mud-stained shirt. "Uh… Rose, he… I… it's not…" I try to answer, rushing my words as I sort for an explanation, but not wanting to lie.

Rose places her hands on her hips and throws her head back in a melodic laughter, and confuses me further. "My dear Bella, it's okay," she states while turning to Edward and finishes, "I win."

Emmett and I look questioningly between one another as Edward and Rose seem to be carrying on a silent conversation between looks. Then Rose turns back to us and walks towards Emmett, wrapping her body around his and pecking him on the cheek. "So, baby, when do I get my ride on the Emmett Express?"

I can feel my eyes get huge as I stare at her in astonishment before I look at Edward, shaking my head because I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a crazy dream.

Next, I turn back to look at Emmett and he's staring at Rose, loving and devoted as he hugs her tightly and whispers in his ear. A pang of jealousy and pain ricochets in brain and chest as I watch them carry on intimately with one another. Then, as if Emmett feels my eyes on him, he lifts his face away from her hair and stares at me sadly. I slowly shake my head, indicating him that it's nothing, that I'm fine, as he drops his face away from my stare, and Rose escorts them back toward their room.

With my chin tucked toward my chest, I try to process how everything completely went bottom-side-up in such a short period of time. While lost in my own contemplations, I feel two cool hands reach under my jaw and lift my face.

"Hey, Honey," he says as his cool breath whips around my head, the familiarity of it making me sigh contentedly. However, that all changes as I remember my current situation. I quickly feel the bile rising in my throat with my treacherous actions, the guilt threatening to consume and choke the life from me.

I rush to make an apology, stating in disconnected, scrambled statements, "Edward, I'm so sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have… and then, well, now you're home… and we… I never should have thought… I didn't even greet you."

He swiftly wraps his arms around me, shushing me as he strokes the tangled nest of waves down my back, kissing me softly on my forehead continually. He rubs my back soothingly as he murmurs into my hair, "Bella, it's okay. It's fine. We are fine."

I pull away from him quickly, searching the planes of his face, seeking some form of disgust, hurt, rejection, resentment, anything that would show his disapproval of my actions. I still see nothing but love in his deep emerald eyes, and I'm bewildered at the amount of dedication this man has to me. _Why isn't he angry? He should be furious._

"Edward, I don't understand," I say, still feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about what the hell is going on.

He chuckles mellifluously before he presses his lips lightly against mine. _How can he kiss me when he knows I've kissed another? Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone or something?_

Pulling away, he props himself against the opposing counter as he stares at me and crosses his arm across his chest. "Where would you like me to begin, Bella? I can see the wheels in your brain churning and I just want to get this out in the open so I can shuffle you off to our bedroom and cuddle with the girl I've missed so much these past few days," he says calmly.

I instantly begin to roll my bottom lip between my fingers as I calculate in my brain exactly how I want this to go. Forming my first question, I ask timidly, "What did Rose mean by 'I win' when she saw Emmett and I… uh, together?"

"Rose and I had a bet going about you two having intercourse. That sounds really impudent and crude, I'm sorry if you find it offensive. Anyway, she was adamant that you two had, and I begged to differ. I didn't think you would. However, I was wrong. She won," he answers sheepishly, as if he has something to be ashamed of.

"Oh," is my intelligent response as I stare at my feet. I hung my head lower, the guilt resurfacing full force. _Rose had known all along and yet he still held faith that I would stay committed. God, I'm an awful girlfriend._

"Wait, you knew?" I screech worriedly.

"Bella, you can't be serious, of course I knew. It's not hard to see the way you two look at one another, it's actually quite obvious. Not to mention, you aren't exactly quiet when you dream, Love," he answers, smirking at me and making my heart rate double. _He knows what the smirk does to me._

"And you aren't… mad?" I ask nervously, even though it's plainly written on his face that he isn't.

He pushes away from the counter and stalks toward me. Picking up my hand, he kisses my knuckles lightly, lingering over my ring finger before he brings his face to stop inches in front of mine. I hold my breath as his eyes bore into mine, piercing my soul and trapping me in a sea of mossy green, full of love. _I don't deserve him. I love this man immensely, but I don't deserve his love in return._

"Bella, I love you. I know that you love me, too. When I see the way they look at each other, I know they are in love as well. Our love is one of a kind, just like theirs, and it's hard to break a bond like what we have. I never once saw you look at him with the same tenderness and love that you show me. We were made for each other," he states with adoration.

He captures the tears trailing down my cheeks with the pad of his thumb before he leans away from me and stands in the middle of the kitchen. He runs his hand through his hair momentarily and then sighs exasperatedly.

"Now, I wouldn't say that I'm super ecstatic to be sharing you either. I mean, I know I'm your first real relationship and the guys you were with before treated you unjustly. I wasn't surprised when I saw the attraction growing between you and Emmett because he's a great guy, and I can absolutely understand his draw to you. I just… I guess part, or most of me, is hoping that it happened once and it's out of your system," he states, stopping his pacing mid-stride before closing the distance between our bodies.

"Because, Bella," he states firmly while lifting my hand and tapping it before continuing, "when I put a ring on this finger, I know I'll have you forever. I may not be so keen or approving of having another man lay where I do then. I'm very possessive, I never played well with others when I was a kid, nor do I now, and I will not let someone else take what is mine," he finishes in a rushed breath, his eyes raging with ferocity.

"Uhhh, Edward, marriage, yeah… I," I begin to say until he cuts me off.

"Bella, I'm not saying now. I'm saying one day. Can you at least promise me one day?" he questions, a hint of fear lingering in his voice.

I bite my bottom lip and nod hesitantly. _Marriage? I know he wants to get married, but I don't know. We still seem too young. That's a huge commitment._

Then without another passing second, Edward seizes my lips with his own, kissing me with an urgency I haven't ever felt from him before. This is rushed and passionate, it is new. This is him pouring every ounce of the love he has for me into one searing kiss. I match him with equal force, showing the love I still have for him as well.

He releases my mouth from his and tugs on my hand, nodding his head toward the archway. I jump off the counter and let Edward lead me down the hall to our room. As I pass Emmett's room, I feel a sense of something new, like some force is pulling me toward his door, calling me for a reconnection. I try to shake that thought from my mind because he's with the woman he cares about most in this world and I'm with the man I love as well. What Emmett and I shared today on that field has brought us to a whole new level of intimacy, there's no denying that fact. We shared a bigger part of ourselves and there's no going back from it, we can only move forward. I think there's that whole, '_you always want what you can't have_' idea, and for the most part, I believe it's true. We longed for each other, we had one another, but we also have two other people that mean more to us than just sex. Yes, lust is definitely a strong emotion, but love conquers all.

_Or am I only kidding myself by saying that Emmett and I only shared sex on that abandoned lot today? What if what I have with Edward, the love I have for him, is merely a shard of what I can have with someone else?_

* * *

**A/N: So first off, if you love me, leave me love. If you hate me, tell me I suck bricks. If it's blah, I'd like to know anyways.**

**Secondly, I was completely amazed and shocked at the outpouring of love everyone had for my Big Lug Em & Fiesty-Ass Bella last chapter. The fact that you can see "something" developing and want to see more is mind-boggling to me. So, yes, I will be continuing with Lust. At the moment, I have mapped out 25-26 chapters, but with my wordiness would could be talking about 30 or so including the Epilogue. Again, I bow down to all my reviewers or make me smile & feel appreciated. I simply adore you all.**

**Thirdly, to my lovely Beta-poo, Rhi (Live720), you complete me. I'd be horribly lost without you. Thanks for sticking around and dealing with my insecurities and daily bullshit. To my RAoR Hoors, BBR bitches, and SOB sleazies, my days are better because of you. MWAH!**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	8. Chapter 8: Buggy Patrol

**Hi, it's me again. I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving, I know I gained a few pounds. As always, I want to welcome all the new-comers, and thank those that continue to favorite, alert, and loyally review me. I'm so very appreciative.**

**Second order of business, music for this chapter goes as follows: BPOV- "Collide" by Howie Day and EmPOV- "Say (All I Need)" by One Republic.**

(Edit: Chapter outfits are available on my profile.)

*********DISCLAIMER:******* **_**All recognizable characters, plots, settings, and such are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. However, Emmett's emo brain and Bella's die-hard devotion belong to me, let me keep them for myself please!**_

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"**Chapter 8: Buggy Patrol"**

_**BPOV**_

As my eyelids begin to flutter open and a subtle hint of light lulls me to consciousness, I roll to my right and reach my arm across the bed to feel for the one who holds my heart. Fully opening my eyes, I slowly drink in the sleeping form whose lower body lays deeply entangled in mine. Sweeping my fingertips across his forehead, I brush the copper-tinged locks of hair away from his face, grinning to myself with giddy love. As the sunlight passes through our curtains and dances across the small beads of sweat on his face, his skin almost appears to sparkle, and I sit positively enamored by the majestic beauty of this man. _I can't believe he's still mine, that after all this time and everything that's transpired, he still lets me keep him. _I smile more profoundly now as my hands pass along his jawline, feeling the familiar stubble as it tickles below the tips of my fingers. He stirs marginally in his sleep and absently reaches for my arm. As he successfully pulls me into his chest, I sigh contentedly and relax deeper into him as my mind begins to process the past few days.

After Edward initially arrived home and we went to the bedroom, he led us over to the bed, tugging me down with him, where we snuggled below the large comforter. He knew my mind was still reeling through all the things I needed to process as he initiated the conversation with me. He talked openly with me and further divulged the facts that he knew about mine and Emmett's infatuation with one another, and questioned me on a few things pertaining to the subject- the extent of our connection, what we had done over the past few days, and other similar questions. I admitted to everything, not lying about a single fact as I fretfully relayed all that we had done as far as sexual, and non-sexual for that matter. It was extremely awkward for me though, revealing all my inappropriate actions with another man to the single most important person in my world. The more I disclosed, the more contrite I felt because of how he reacted. He never said a word, just listened intently, nodded on occasion, and remained emotionless through all my nervous, guilt-ridden chatter. It almost irritated me to a certain degree because of the fact that he seemed so blasé on the matter, and I wasn't able to read his true perception on the events. The detached mask he wore only stirred fearful feelings inside of me that he wasn't being completely honest with me about how he truly felt when I was going to great lengths to be overly honest with him.

Then, I asked him more about his bet. I was curious to what the stakes had been and in what way he would have to pay up. He chuckled at me, saying that I always read far too much into things, which only agitated me further. _How the hell was any of this funny? I cheated on him, and he was making bets about it. _He told me that they didn't have an actual bet, just more a differing of opinions.

He stated that on a particular day Rose had whispered, "They so did it." In which he replied with laughter, telling her that I'd never do that. With saying this to me, he ducked his head and shielded his eyes from me, giving way partially to just how much he could have been affected by this all, which in turn made me feel remorseful because I knew that Edward hated being wrong. He had placed so much trust in me staying faithful, and I had failed him. Even though he promised he wasn't upset with me, his face didn't light up the way it normally did and the small twinkle in his eye was lost. It killed me to know that I had hurt him, no matter how relatively small the amount of hurt was, the fact remains that a portion of him was broken because of me.

As we readied for bed that night, Edward held me close and mumbled words of affection, forgiveness, and devotion to me, displaying his love like he always had through his touches and comforting tone. It was only after I was certain he had fallen asleep that I allowed the magnitude of what I had done overwhelm me and sweep me away. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking of all the wrong I had done and sobbed even harder with the fact that no matter how disheartening it was now and how troublesome settling with the repercussions of my actions were with the distress it brought Edward, I couldn't find it in me to regret a single moment I shared with Emmett that day or any of those few days we spent together.

In a short time span, I had experienced a tremendous amount of emotions, ranging extensively in their strength and impact, reaching the peak of erotic satisfaction with Emmett at one point and a debilitating low of guilt with Edward just a few short hours later.

The next few days were relatively normal, the solace of mine and Edward's relationship easing back into it's usual pattern. Our days were mostly spent in our room when he was home, watching television or just talking, and our nights spent cuddling together and reading our selected books before bed , continuing with our nightly ritual of "I love you" and a passionate kiss.

He had tried to be intimate with me the day after, but I just couldn't bring myself to be with him that way. Everything about it felt wrong- the timing, the wrong hands, the wrong skin texture, the wrong intensity, none of it made sense. The amount of shame and disgust that flooded my system was unbearable, and I completely shut down. Edward held my back to him as I shed tears into my pillow, too appalled with myself to even face him, as he ran his fingers through my hair and sang me to sleep, whispering terms of endearment as I succumbed to my dreams. After two days, I was finally comfortable enough for him to make love to me again. With this, I found new hope that I could sustain the relationship I was expected to have with him. We would survive this together. We would be able to push forward and find strength through my straying.

As for Emmett, I seldom left my room the first two days when Edward returned to work. I was an utter mess, unsure of what I should say or how I should act around him. Always the hero, he knocked on my bedroom door on the third morning and delivered his peace offering, a muffin and a movie. I summoned all the courage I could muster and met him in the common room, settling into the couch across from him. As the movie wore on and I drifted closer to his position on the large piece of furniture, it was amazing how effortlessly we fell back into _us_. We ate, laughed, and chatted during the film, picking up on the friendship I thought might have been demolished after that day on the field and the return of our loved ones. As the days passed on, I was positive that not only were we able to continue our closeness, but it had new depth and we completely understood each other with a whole new perspective.

The only times of true tension in the apartment were between Emmett and I when one of our significant others returned home from a day of work. It was always better for me if Edward arrived first because part of me grew envious of the connection Rose and Emmett seemed to share. Her lingering kisses drove me to madness, which again made my stomach revolt, my brain begging my heart why it even cared about the amount of warmth they experienced with one another. Nonetheless, each time I saw the exchange, I broke a little more. Each endurance severed my dissolve a fraction further.

Edward's adamant placing of tender kisses atop my hair pulls me back to the present as I raise my head, pecking his lips with mine as he smiles into our kiss, his green eyes dancing with a small sparkle that I thought had long disappeared.

"Morning, Sweetheart," I say as I rest my head against his chest, gently placing my hand over his heart as I feel it thump forcefully underneath it.

"Mmmm, waking up with you lying against me is a good morning, indeed," he says through his lopsided smile, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly to his chest.

I giggle against his skin, the small amount of chest hair tickling my chin as I sweep my lips across his chest, grazing his skin softly and humming in agreement.

He raises my chin with his fingers, his tired green eyes meeting mine as a small smile plays at the corner of his lips, questioning, "Would you like to take a shower with me?"

I roll to my back, glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand over my shoulder when I realize the time and shout, "Oh God, Edward, I didn't set the alarm, you're going to be late!"

He leans forward to look over me to see for himself that he is in fact going to have a rushed morning, and closes his eyes. Exhaling harshly, he flops back heavily into the bed while rubbing his hand over his face disconcertedly. He moans with obvious frustration and questions, "Well… I guess that means I'll be taking a rain-check on that shower, huh?" Turning to look at me while releasing an agitated breath, he quirks his brow while awaiting my answer.

"I'm so sorry, I could have sworn I turned it on last night," I say, rushing to apologize for my slip.

He leans forward, gently resting his lips atop mine as he speaks into them, the vibrations sending small tingles across my lips. "No worries, Love, I'm just disappointed I don't get to see you naked."

We both chuckle deeply as I slap his ass when he gets up from the bed. He yelps and struts toward our bathroom as I throw myself back into the covers, snuggling deeply and smiling to myself.

Just as the shower turns on and I hear Edward's harmonious voice sound above the pounding of the water, a small rap at the door startles me. Slinking from between the dark sheets, I quickly throw on my robe and open the door cautiously. I stand staggered, probably closely resembling a fish out of water as my mouth opens and closes repeatedly while I remain fixated on the shirtless body in front of me.

"I… um, what are you doing here?" I stutter, pausing to clear my throat before I continue, "I mean, good morning, Emmett." My eyes begin to roam over his broadly muscled form on their own accord as I feel the prominent warmth pool in my cheeks. _And other places. Jesus Christ, look at his body! For the love of Mary and Joseph, Bella, Edward is practically in the same room, get a hold of your damn self. What the hell is wrong with you?_

As I snap my gaze up from his bare chest to his eyes, I find him transfixed on me as well. Shifting my eyes lower, I take in my appearance and gasp when I find that my robe is slightly undone, exposing a generous portion of my bare chest to him. I quickly close the material, fisting it tightly in my trembling hands as I return my eyes back to his face.

He has his eyes closed and appears to be mumbling something repetitively before he slowly opens them. I'm met with deep blue hunger; ravenous as it singes my soul and makes my heart pound abnormally fast against my chest as my breathing intensifies and becomes ragged. My bottom lip instantly navigates its way into my teeth as I idly chew on it and take two steps back away from the door frame and the carnivorous, sexy male who currently inhabits it.

Seemingly aware of my alarmed disposition, he quickly shakes his head, and his face and stare softens instantaneously. He makes a swift movement, focused on stepping toward me when he's reminded of his surroundings and halts with his arms resting against the door frame. _Long, delicious, exquisite arms… fuck me!_

"Hey," he says calmly, as he smiles broadly.

"Hi," I respond, refocusing my attention while giggling and blushing. _Might as well throw my Girl Scout uniform and get some pigtails, what am I, twelve? _

"Just curious, the cabinets are looking pretty bare, do you want to go grocery shopping with me today?" he questions as his eyes begin to float away from my face.

Everything in my mind is screaming at me to decline, not to be alone with him. _But then again, we wouldn't technically be alone, I'm sure the supermarket will be packed with your run of the mill soccer moms and grandmas. I mean, we have managed to stay here throughout the day together and not attack each other, right? On the other hand, when was the last time I saw him shirtless? Shit!_

Emmett shifts in my periphery, obviously taking my hesitancy as reluctance and blurts out jokingly, "It's just the grocery store, Bella, it's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me."

My eyes immediately go wide as my jaw becomes unhinged, falling open as I stare at him in shock.

His words finally catch up with him as my reaction registers in his brain and he begins to ramble, "OH GOD NO! Shit, I didn't mean it like _that_…" his words trail off as he starts banging his head against my door frame, groaning with irritation.

My chuckles bellow forth from deep within my abdomen, causing me to double over with the force of my laughter as I think about his lack of a verbal filter and my ever-insistent overreactions. Settling myself, I stand and place my hand over my mouth to muffle the lingering giggles. "Yes, Emmett, let's go refill the pantry. We can't have you blaming your diminishing muscle mass on my lack of providing nourishment."

He shoots me a small smirk before turning around to walk away, mumbling about "diminishing muscle mass my ass."

I peek my head out the door, enjoying the retreating view before I question, "What time, Skinny Ass?"

He wiggles his pajama-clad behind in my direction before turning to me and answers, "We'll leave shortly after Tardy Number One and Late Ass Number Two go to work."

I chuckle and respond, "It's a date!"

His body goes rigid as his eyes bug copiously, before he recovers and gives me a curious glance. Slightly bewildered by his reaction, I replay my words over in my brain. Now it's my turn for fuckups and my face instantly flushes while I state hurriedly, "I mean, not a date _date, _just two great friends going to get groceries for themselves… and their…_others_."

Emmett just bobs his head, smiling to himself as I lean my head back and place my hands over my face to shield myself away from the humiliation. I retreat inside my room and close the door, leaning my back against it momentarily before I eye my bed. I skip over to it before diving back in, shifting myself under the covers and throwing the pillows over my reddened face.

Breathing in deeply, I sigh lightly at the soft hint of fabric softener and Edward's scent wafts from the pillowcase. I begin to wonder if going to the grocery store with Emmett is a good idea after all. We have yet to discuss last week due to my subsequent hiding spell and after he coached me from the room, it never seemed to find its way into our conversations. _Avoidance much?_

I won't deny myself the fact that I've thought of that day more frequently over the last two days than I should have, however, it wasn't the fault of my own doing. It always happens when I'm deep within my dreams, my mind transmitting all the images I try to keep locked away during my conscious hours. I always awake feeling guilty and praying like hell that I didn't talk in my sleep. I can never seem to get over the hurdle of the emotional impact that one sexual encounter had over me. I always thought that the best and most momentous events in my life thus far were those of seeing Edward for the first time, hearing him say "I love you" for the first time, and making love to Edward for the first time. However, the conveying of the mind-altercating experience with Emmett always leaves me breathless in my dreams, awaking to a trembling body, wrecked with the fear that this all-consuming force could very well work it's way from my dreams and try to center itself in my reality.

As I briefly allow my thoughts to linger on him working above me, I picture his delicious body drenched with rain and smelling like air, plunging life into me with each thrust. Each time pierces the deepest parts of my body as we centering ourselves. Interlocking our limbs, we join at the hips and bound forward into each other, living for the moment and accepting whatever card fate had dealt us. A warm laugh cradles me, bringing me back to reality as my dream man falls to the wayside.

Feeling the bed shift near me, I pull the pillow from my face and smile timidly at the man I'm supposed to be dreaming of, _my Edward_.

"Alright, baby, I have to get going," he states matter-of-factly as he leans forward puckering his lips and presses his pout to mine.

As he pulls away, I jut out my lower lip, presenting my best puppy dog face as I mumble, "I'll miss you. Don't work too hard."

He simply chuckles and rises from the bed before making his way to the door. Upon turning the knob, he pivots around to offer me a wink prior to stating, "Be good today."

* * *

_**EmPOV**_

My brain is warped.

I can't seem to delegate myself and select a proper emotional category for my feelings on anything these days. Prior to two weeks ago, my future was pretty much solidified. I knew I was going to marry Rose, that I was going to be a high school football coach, and that we'd live a long, happy life together. Previous to two weeks ago, Rose was the only woman that I was content to spend the rest of my days with, living out the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams and building a family together. Preceding two weeks ago, I thought I had everything currently in my life that I ever could possibly want, and I was content with my existence.

Even though I had contemplated ideas of being with Bella, I always thought within myself that I'd never be able to sacrifice my relationship with Rose, even having her blessing, and would never act out on my infatuation. I'm a man of honesty, devotion, and hold hard to things that mean most to me in this world. The days before the football game, I had tested the waters and was compelled by this innate force to delve deeper, to try to figure out the mystery that had me so enraptured with Bella. Yet, even on the field that day, I couldn't even make the first move. I may have initiated the course we took with our actions, but I was reluctant to fully take the plunge into the dark unknown. She had to do it; I needed her to guide me. Then, when she captured my lips with hers, the world shifted on it's axis and spiraled throughout the galaxy as it pulled me into the black abyss of infidelity. That was the day that all the things I thought I knew were lost to me. That was the day that I began to question my plans, my future, and my love for Rose. That was the day that I even began to doubt myself.

When Rose arrived home, and immediately leapt into my arms, I remember the acute sense of guilt and love I felt for her. I recall leaning into her, feeling her body against mine, whispering my love for her in her ear. My priorities were shifted, and the longing I had for Bella was fleetingly overshadowed by how much I had missed Rose. That was until I felt an odd sense of dread as the hairs rose on the nape of my neck with trepidation. When I looked up to find Bella's broken expression focused in my direction, an excruciating pain ricocheted through my abdomen, almost sending me to my knees. The amount of guilt that rose in my body superseded the amount of shame I felt momentarily for my betrayal to my commitment to Rose. In that instant, I wanted nothing more than to drop Rose from my arms and run to her, to replace all the hurt I saw in her eyes with thousands of kisses and promises of more- more that I technically had no right to give or ask for in return. _What kind of man am I? I shared this extraordinary experience with this girl and then completely disregard her the moment my girlfriend comes home. And then on top of that, the moment this lover showed an ounce of pain, I was fully dedicated to drop my future wife to run to her side and ease her fears. How much more fucked up could this get?_

The days following Edward and Rose's return were spent with the house divided. Each coupling seldom left their rooms, an awkward tension enveloping the household as we stayed holed away. I was rigid with anticipation, needing to explain so many things to Bella and Rosalie; but, I needed to figure my own shit out first before I could speak with either of them.

The morning they returned to work, leaving Bella and I alone, I waited anxiously in the living room. Every creak in the apartment was connected with a quick movement of my body, angling myself to look down the hallway toward her room, only to be met with disappointment. It was torturous, not seeing her, not knowing if she was okay, and not even knowing where to begin if she were to ever emerge from her room. That night, Rose had climbed on top of me, riding me blissfully as I was plagued with images of someone other than her. Long blond hair replaced with lengthy waves of brown. Sun-kissed, golden skin exchanged for a pale, creamy tone. Her outrageous curves that should belong to Aphrodite were substituted with subtle curves, proportionate and angelic, tiny, petite, and perfect. As I stared at the image hugging my body above me, I became lost to the feelings and the amount of uncharacteristic desire that flowed from my body as I came hard, clinging to the body above mine in an attempt to burn the images in my brain for eternity.

Rolling over, I hugged my pillow closely to my body, begging for the smell of strawberries as I drifted off to a troublesome sleep haunted with memories of a very hands-on football game and the petite brunette who had disrupted my life. Awaking the next morning, I shamefully kissed Rose and told her how much I loved her. I watched as she danced around the room getting ready for work, and tried to summon all the reasons why I loved this woman. I needed an explanation for why I had stayed with her throughout the years and why I had been so steadfast to make her my wife. It wasn't just for her eloquence and beauty, or the fact that she could gather the attention of an entire room in a matter of minutes, or the fact that she was headstrong and motivated to push herself and her career. It was how she has stuck with me through the hard times- my injury, the ramifications of me not going pro, and how she pushed me to be the best I could be through the circumstances. Watching her regal form in the mirror, suited for work and primped to perfection, I wondered how I could ever doubt the feelings I had for her or the ones I questioned she had for me.

Once I heard the front door slam, it was like the walls had caved in on me and I once again subjected myself to worry of that had invaded my thoughts recently. My thoughts drifted to the room down the hall, conjuring pictures in my mind of her small frame spread atop her bed, her fingers running along the seams in her comforter as she laid in solemn delight, pleasure that I may never be able to give her again. That fact alone made me resent Edward because he would get to claim her repeatedly as the lay in _their_ room, between _their_ sheets, and _their_ bodies connected. _Ugh, why am doing this to myself?_

I pulled myself from my bed and dressed quickly, throwing open my door with aggravation as I hesitated in the hallway, my gaze exclusively directed at her door. Wringing my hands due to the edginess reverberating throughout my body, I walked the short distance to her room and stood at her door. My hand hovered over the wood for a long period of time, my breath bated as a bit of perspiration broke out across my forehead before it hastily fell to my side as I briskly walked away from her. _Such a pussy._

That day was divided between manically pacing the living room floor, playing irritating games on the Xbox, and a discouraging game of go forth and then retreat- making tremulous walks to her room only to hightail it after standing there for a short period of time, all ending in failed attempts of speaking with her.

The next day, my motivation was solid, my vigor was renewed, and my determination was elevated. I stood at her door with the delicacy of a chocolate muffin and the promise of a romantic comedy. I was successfully able to extricate her from her room, but she and I remained pensive on the couch. She struggled to concentrate on the movie as I tapped my fingers repeatedly on the armrest while studying her expressions. Soon the heavy cloud of uneasiness dispelled, and we fell into natural conversation, every word further separating us from the discomfiture of the previous days in the household and the events that lead to it. The days that followed transitioned us into our ordinary times together, somewhat disrupted at night by the returning of Rose or Edward, but ultimately landing us back to how we used to be when we were alone.

Which brings me to today. I'm getting her out of this apartment, and we are going to enjoy a day together without any uncomfortable air looming between us. We are going to the grocery store.

* * *

Walking between the sliding doors, I place my hand on the small of Bella's back, enjoying the slight shiver it provokes, and guide her to the shopping carts. Selecting one, we start walking through the aisles when she instructs me to go grab a couple packs of drinks.

Coming back with a case of Diet Mountain Dew for she & I and Dr. Pepper for Edward and Rose, I stop mid-stride when walking into the aisle. She's bent over at the waist, inspecting the ingredients on the back of a cereal box, and my breath falters. I struggle to maintain possession of the drinks I nearly dropped as I take in the absolute loveliness she emanates. Her long denim jeans wrap tightly around her lean legs, squeezing her ass perfectly as a hint of purple lace peeks out at the top, matching her thin, purple sweater exactly.

Striding up behind her, I lean over her back and whisper into her ear, "Ma'am, I'm going to have to commandeer this buggy and write you a citation."

I immediately hear her gasp as she slowly turns her head, her face inches away from mine. Her cheeks are flushed and her chest is heaving moderately while she softly says, "Whatever for, Officer?"

Her lips urge me forward, but I'm acutely aware that her presence clouds my mind and realize that we are in a supermarket that she and I are highly recognizable and that people know Edward and Rose, and grudgingly pull away. Standing and backing away from her, I place the drinks in the buggy and state, "For looking sensational while picking out groceries, I'm pretty sure that's illegal somewhere."

She frowns, before shaking her head and straightening her body, and grabs the box off the shelf. Giving me a tight smile, she brushes past my body, sending tingles throughout my frame and straight to my cock, retorting, "What are you anyway, buggy patrol?"

I laugh and answer, "Why yes I am, here to protect and serve."

She swiftly licks her lips as her eyes dart to my lower body, before they refocus on my face and she mumbles, "Not exactly. So, what are we eating this week?" _You!_

"Whatever you want to eat," I answer, adjoined with a knowing smirk.

She bites her lower lip and nods her head, before she starts pushing the buggy through the aisles. We continue up and down the rows of food, stopping occasionally to discuss items, as our cart starts overflowing with various forms of sustenance. As Bella starts rattling off a recipe and its ingredients, my mind processes thoughts of a future with her, picking out food for us to make in the kitchen together, just she and I. Snapping myself back to the present day, I see she's put quite a large distance between us while I was lost amidst my brain and its wishful dream. My eyes zoom in on her ass as she stands on the cart, leaning over the handle to reach something on the top shelf. I jog up behind her and wrap my arms around the bar, propelling the buggy forward as she falls into me. I push her down the aisle as her whimsical laughter lofts above us, surrounding me fully and making me feel dizzy with admiration. _I could get lost in her._

Acknowledging the disapproving sneers of the baggily, old grannies, I slow the cart to a smooth trot as Bella continues to rest her back against my chest and I smile against her shoulder. Peering around her shoulder, she side-glances at me and smiles a large, heartwarming smile, her eyes dancing with enthusiasm as she says, "Thank you, Em."

My brow furrows as I stare at her curiously and question, "What for?"

She pushes back against me and steps down, turning her body to face me as she stares up at into my eyes, and answers, "For being you. I can always depend on you for laughter, and I really needed it."

I immediately understand, the anxiety of the past week bearing down on me as well, and pull her into me, hugging her securely. I lean down, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead and sigh as the intimacy of the moment threatens to shake me forcefully. Pulling away from her, I rub up and down her arms and affirm, "Anytime, Bella, anytime."

She once again smiles up at me, making my heart soar as she turns and points to the cart. "I guess we should finish up here and get back home before they get off work."

I nod and we head off in the direction of the produce. Scooping up tons of cantaloupe, I begin placing them in the buggy as Bella erupts into loud cackles.

Laughing along with her because her cheerfulness has that influence over me, I ask, "What has you in such an uproar?"

Placing her delicate hand over her mouth, she tries to silence her laughter as she speaks between breaths, "Are you pregnant… or something? Why would you… get so many? You are going… to hurt yourself."

I retort, "These, my lady, are for you. When I made that huge breakfast a few days back, you seemed to really enjoy them. And you of all people should know that I'm more-than-capable of handling melons!"

Her body goes stiff as she turns to gape at me.

"What?" I hesitantly question.

Her muscles relax infinitely as she states, "It's nothing. That's just sort of the first time either of us have made an attempt to mention… you know… the other day."

Realization dawns on me and I move closer to her, lowering my head closer to her as I speak softly, "About that, I'm really sorry. I just didn't know how to bring it up."

She slowly raises her head as a large breath escapes between her lips. "Yeah, me too. I'm also sorry I avoided you those two days," she says so softly it's almost inaudible.

"Yeah, I was as well. Those were fucking torture, you know? I didn't know if you were okay or not. You are okay, right?" I question worriedly.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. Edward and I, we're… fine," she utters, looking away from me again, before asking, "And you… you and Rose, are you okay?"

"Good… we're good," I say with trepidation, not really knowing what to say for myself and my chaotic emotions.

"Well, that's… good," she states while nodding and chewing on her fingernail.

Just as I'm about to say something, I look up to find the deli-guy staring rapturously at Bella. A sense of territorial possessiveness bubbles insanely inside me and I pull her into me abruptly, staring at the asshole over her shoulder as his eyes slice through me with anger.

Bella says shakily into my chest, "Em, what's going on?"

I begin to rub soothing circles on her back as I turn toward her neck, stating, "That deli fucker creeps me out. I hate the way he looks at you."

Bella bobs her head and mumbles, "Yeah, you'd think he'd get a clue after all the times I've rejected his advances."

Rubbing up her back, I feel her bra through the thin material and instantly wonder if it matches her panties. Just as I begin to imagine it, she lets out a soft whimper that goes straight to my dick, and I decide a little separation would be for the best. Distancing myself from her, I go back to getting some produce when she giggles to herself.

I turn to offer her a charming grin and ask, "What now?"

She just laughs and rolls her eyes. "I think you have a serious fruit addiction," she states between chuckles.

A loud guffaw stems from my throat as I retort, "Says the girl with the banana fetish."

The darkened cheeks appear within seconds as she ducks her head and walks over to the banana stand. Picking up a bunch, she bags them and walks back to the cart, tossing them in with a wink in my direction.

We simultaneously fall into a fit of hysterics, our laughter carrying across the busy supermarket as those that walk near us give puzzled looks. Pulling ourselves together, we go back to shopping, glancing occasionally at one another with meaningful smirks.

We quickly pass through the rest of the aisles, settling on foods we can prepare together and picking out Rose and Edward's favorites. Upon checking out, the cashier begins to flirt with me and Bella steps between us and snaps, "I'll be sure to let his girlfriend know you said 'Hello'."

I couldn't do anything other than laugh as the cashier gaped at her and Bella practically pulled me from the store. The ride home was filled with us singing distastefully loud to songs we barely knew and easy conversation.

As we arrive home, I begin to feel that familiar strain rise between us as our time alone begins to tick down. I stare at Bella, and realize she feels the same way as her smile is no longer present and her answers become shorter and shorter. We put the groceries away in silence and any time I come within inches of her proximity, she makes an unintentional step in the opposite direction, detaching herself from me and awaiting the return of Edward. Before long, either he or Rose would arrive home and our togetherness will again be interrupted by the ones we _love__**.**_

So maybe the key to figuring things out is to make attempts to get us out of the house more often until Rosalie and Edward are once again gone on another one of their business trips. In anticipation of another day, I suppose the "wait and see approach" is all I have to work with.

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**A/N: So that brings us to the end of another chapter, what did you think? Will things begin to heat back up or will their burning ember sizzle out and die????**

**My usual "thank you so much, I would die without you" goes to the lovely wifey, Rhi (Live720). She's my masterful beta and makes this readable. To my RAoR hoor, BBR bitches, and my SOB sleazies, my days are better because of you. MWAH!**

**A special thanks goes out to my new friend Jenn (Winterstale). Thanks for offering your opinion and psycho-analyzing my characters. I heart you a little more each email!**

_**Smooches,**_

_**Christina**_


	9. Chapter 9: My Guilty Pleasure

**Happy New Year! I hope everyone's holidays were spectacular, mine were riddled with an abundance of sickness. No excuses for the length between updates, only the sincerest of apologies for staying gone so long. Thanks for continuing to stick by me. Thanks to all you wonderful people who continue to review, favorite, and alert. It means so much to me.**

**As for this chapter, I didn't originally intend to end it here, but apparently Bella doesn't know how to STFU. I'm hoping to have the rest of it out soon, although hoping & actuality are two different things. There should be an Edward POV coming the chapter after next so we can see what's going on with him.**

**Musical inspiration for Bella this chapter is "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce.**

**(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)**

****Disclaimer:******I don't own Beyonce or her music. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the character names, but I'm fairly fond of the characterizations I've created for them. No copyright infringement intended.**

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**"Chapter 9: My Guilty Pleasure"**

_**BPov**_

Basket-case.

I've never really given much thought to what people mean when they refer to themselves or someone else as a "basket-case." What constitutes one being labeled as such? Is it when you have a super chaotic day at work and threaten to kill everyone? Or if you are a mother of five and want to pull your hair out because you have to run errands around town and shuffle each kid to a different sporting event during rush hour traffic? Or in my case, when your emotions are so fucking scattered that you don't know up from down, left from right, real from make-believe, or what is morally correct or incorrect. I'm a fucking basket-case. Case in point? My last few days have been hell.

While at the grocery store with Emmett, I felt like a newer version of myself. Separated from the character I usually portray, I became an individual I was comfortable with, truly feeling like my "real" self for once. When I'm near him, I laugh easier, more freely. I feel lighter, like if a small draft of air passes through the building, I'd be swept away. He emanates a positive aura, one which makes me want to shine just as brightly as him. I want to make strangers smile, and give so much to the world, just by standing in his presence. His glow makes me warm; it makes me happy. I feel like a better person just being around him.

Even on the ride home, we laughed together naturally while singing unattractively loud, slaughtering the lyrics of each song, but I didn't care because I was doing it with him. Then, when we returned to the apartment, I felt this shift in my body. There was a mergence of this other being that took hold of my frame and my brain slowly transcended into becoming Edward's girlfriend. It felt like clockwork. It seems as though I was defined by Edward, even confined by him at times. My confidence would dwindle, a serious persona would envelope me, and I felt detached from person I wished to be, the person I was only a few short minutes ago. _Does the possibility of having a split-personality equate to "slightly off my rocker?"_

Not to be confused, I like being this person… _sort of_. Okay, so not really, but I do like being with Edward. The adoration I feel for him is unmatched by any semblance of love I ever held for my past flames.

There isn't a girl alive that wouldn't hesitate to take my place. He is sweet and romantic, well-educated and holds a respectable job, and his otherworldly beauty was unheard of, especially when paired with my simple looks. I know he is_**it**_ for me. _Or at least I used to know. Although, now I have to wonder if I haven't actually fallen in love with the depiction of the person he represents, in love with the comfort of his embrace and the security he provides for me, and no longer just him._

Throughout this week, most of my time had been spent with Edward. Due to his and Rosalie's impending business trip they leave for on Friday, their employers released them early each day so they could tie up loose ends- gather the things they would need and to spend time with their loved ones. My usual free time was now spent intertwined with him on the couch, watching boring architectural shows or things on the CNN business channel. _Kill me now!_

This brings up another issue. I never really realized how much hatred I harbored for these shows until this week. They were dull, uninteresting, and downright irritating. The way he chewed on his right thumb nail when he became deeply engrossed in some newfound ludicrous project theory grated on my nerves. Then, he also does this weird snort slash immature laugh over nothing in particular that makes me cringe, the noise piercing my eardrum like nails on a chalkboard. Nevertheless, I enjoyed spending time with him, so I put the big girl panties on and played the good girlfriend, enduring hours of torture just to be by his side all for the sake of love. _Is love supposed to be torture?_

Another point of conflict was the fact that I found myself rushing to my bed at night, eager to fall asleep. Emmett has been visiting me more pronouncedly in my dreams since Monday night. I found they're like a drug to me, and I've become completely dependent on them. This is where my furtive complication of what's existent and imaginary come into play. These fantasies were becoming so real, I could actually feel the passes of his skin against mine. I could clearly hear the huskiness of his voice as he whispered in my ear. More than anything, my willingness for myself to be consumed by this figurative being was unfathomable. I was so impatient to submit to sleep the other night that I had taken narcotics to fall asleep quicker. _See, basket-case, right? Or I'm at least traveling down that road. Scratch that, I'm not fooling anyone. I've left the gravel road and turned onto the expressway to insanity with the gas pedal nailed to the floor and my hair flapping in the wind._

I know it is morally unjustifiable, but I yearn for my heart to comply, to allow me this bit of delight. The things Emmett did to me in my dreams were beyond compare to anything I had ever felt before, except for that singular day when my body was drenched with rain and littered with mud. My unconscious state filters out all the hidden pleasures that I refrain from remembering while awake, but now I was summoning them. As the sun started to fade from the sky, I could hear the lure of promised pleasure call to me from deep within my core. Like a choir full of sexual nymphs, they sang to me, alluring with their taunts of rapture and representations of him. They ushered my feet to my bed, pled with my fingers to turn back the covers, and begged my brain to surrender easily to the onslaught of provocative images sure to awaken parts deep within me and elicit a fire in my veins. I was lost to this parallel universe where I was Emmett's and he could manipulate my body and soul, claiming it as his own for perpetuity. In my dreams, spellbound by these images, I was his and his alone.

I feel my head begin to slump forward as a large body walks past, bumping my arm. I catch myself before my face hits the edge of the couch.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," Emmett calls while turning his head toward the television, one of his heart-stopping grins spreading across his face as he drops into his trusty recliner.

"That's all we have for you today. Join us tomorrow for another discussion of the future of our nation's economy," says the newscaster as monotone as humanly possible. _Why couldn't Emmett just let me sleep?_

Turning to my right, I see Edward searching over my face worriedly as he asks, "Would you like to go lie down, you look really tired?"

Emmett holds back an indication of laughter as he says, "No, man, I think she looks just fine. You know, she probably even wants to watch one of those architectural shows you love so much."

Edward turns back to me excitedly, the brilliant green of his eyes practically glowing as he bounces in his seat and questions, "Really? I thought you might be getting tired of those."

Unable to hurt his feeling, I just smile while nodding and lie, "No, of course not, an architect show sounds fine."

While he gets resettled and starts changing the channels, I stare at Emmett through slanted, fuming eyes and silently mouth, ".You."

Emmett feigns hurt by clutching at his chest and pouting before he responds with a kiss to the air and a small chuckle. Rising from the chair, he says, "Well, as interesting as this all sounds, I think I'll leave you two and go grab some grub."

"Yes, please, go stuff your face some more," I sneer sarcastically at his retreating form, and begin to plot my revenge. Curling into Edward's chest, I settle in for a few more hours of torment, content to be by his side for the time being.

As the racket of hammers clanking billows from the television, I try to rest my eyes. I keep resituating my body, unable to get comfortable with my current position. I huff as my head roams over Edward's chest, trying to find that particular groove I used to find so relaxing. _Where the hell is that little spot?_

Aggravated without the succor of my usual cozy location, I grumble and try to wait it out. Edward leans his face toward my head and whispers against my hair, "Is there a problem, Isabella?" He briefly kisses the top of my head before he starts brushing the stray hairs away from my face.

I grit my teeth together harshly, trying to bite my tongue. He was the only person I ever let get away with using my full name, I hated it, but the usage at this moment seems to make me see red. I raise my head minutely and nod my head curtly. "Fine, everything's fine."

"Okay, love," he says in a soothing manor and proceeds to rub my back. As I try to fall into the comfort of a short nap, his gentle passes begin to infuriate me. _Why does he have to touch me? Just leave me alone already._

"Babe?" I question without meeting his eyes, speaking with a goaded voice muffled by the shirt covering his chest.

"Yeah," he states, the gentle sweeps of his handle proceeding to work over the clothed space of my back.

"Can you not do that?" I question sourly.

"What?" he asks in return, curiosity lacing his tone.

"That! What you're doing now. Can you not do _that_?" I retort bitterly, more outraged with his insouciance, even though I felt like he should know exactly what I'm bitching about.

He pulls me away from his chest by my elbows and scrutinizes my face as he stares at me dubiously. "Bella, I'm not sure I understand. Are you sure something isn't troubling you?"

I immediately feel a rip at my heart, realizing that he isn't privy to the constant battle going on in my head. Exchanging a weak smile with him, I respond, "Sorry. I just have a headache. No big deal, it's just a bit uncomfortable."

"Do you want me to go get you some aspirin or take you to the doctor?" he asks, concern evident and plainly written across his face.

"No, I'm just going to try and rest," I answer, lying back down in his lap.

His fingers start working into my hair, and I immediately feel the irritation creep back into me. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek to keep from biting his head off. I know it's not his fault, but it's still so the nausea builds up in my stomach, I try to swallow against it and settle in to watch the show.

After the second agonizing hour of molding in the foyer of blah, blah, blah, my stomach rumbles signaling my hunger and a possible escape route. Giving Edward a tight smile, I pull away from his embrace and pat my stomach prior to stating, "Getting hungry, going to go grab a snack."

Deeply immersed in the "new" revolutionary tiling technique, he waves me off saying, "Yeah yeah, babe, that's great. Maybe eating will help with your headache."

Rolling my eyes, I trudge myself to the kitchen and step inside the pantry, scouring the multiple racks for something simple and edible.

Suddenly, I feel a hard body press against my back as a rugged voice stems deep from within his chest while questioning, "Watching boring shit on T.V. make you hungry, Pinky?"

I jump and pivot my body around, every cell of my frame on edge and alert to his company. I immediately slap at his chest and whisper furiously, "You asshole, you scared the piss out of me."

He chuckles while grabbing my hand and stares into my eyes as he licks his plump, beckoning lips. The small tingling starts where his hand holds mine firmly to his broad chest and spreads throughout my body. A circuit of continuous vibrations caress my skin as I'm instantly aware of how close our bodies truly are. My chest propels into his with each of my labored breaths, every impact causing my nipples to become more firm. I snatch my hand out of his grasp and swallow a large gulp of air. Taking a hesitant step backwards, my eyes dart around his massive shoulders and focus on Edward sitting on the couch.

He turns his head minutely, looking toward Edward as well, before he redirects his attention back to me, a crooked smile turning up one corner of his lips. Taking a small step toward me, he questions softly, "You aren't worried I'm going to do something crazy while Pretty-boy is in the room, are you?" _Breathe, Bella, just breathe._

I bite my lower lip harshly, grinding the flesh between my teeth as I analyze our proximity again. Taking another tentative step backward, my shoulders abruptly meet with the shelf behind me as the wood creaks under the pressure. He takes another step forward until our bodies rest flush against one another, and I pull a stuttering breath into my lungs as I raise my eyes to look at him from beneath my lashes. His breath is coming out in short bursts as it fans around my face, dipping inside my shirt and spreading across my skin. "Looks like you're out of room to run," he says softly with his lips inches away from my cheek.

I lick my lips and duck my head as his hand starts hedging toward my face. I can feel the warmth of his touch as it nears my cheek, and I close my eyes as my breathing accelerates further, taking hints of his scent into me. My heart rate doubles and I become dizzy, the recollection of the day on the field fighting its way into by brain with flashes of memories behind my eyes. I reflexively angle my cheek out to him, my body pleading for contact as my brain continues to battle for control against the barricade of reminiscent pictures. Then whisking past my hair, I hear the rumbling of plastic behind me, and I cautiously open my eyes.

I watch as he retreats away from me, rapidly chewing a mouthful of peanuts as he continues to shovel them in his mouth. He offers me a smirk and wink, suggesting softly while eyeing my chest, "You might want to work on calming yourself down a little before returning to Eddy."

I look down to find my nipples alerting the world to how aroused I am by him. Swiftly rotating my body around, I grasp at the wooden shelf, using it to support my weight as I clutch at my throat. _When had it become so hot in here? And dry, really fucking dry?_ I swallow hoarsely, trying to gather moisture in my mouth as my sandpaper tongue darts out to sweep across my lips. Trying to shake the barrage of images that continue to appear in front of me, I move my head speedily from left to right. Breathing deeply, I work to regain my composure before hastily grabbing a pack of crackers. _What the hell is he trying to do to me? What angle is he playing at? He's such an asshole. A sexy asshole. A sexy asshole that I can't wait to meet in my dreams. Ugh, I hate him._

I flop bitterly into the cushions on the couch, sighing exasperatedly as my annoyance for Emmett's behavior swells when I hear the front door unlock. _Perfect. _Rose enters the apartment, returning from her spa appointment entirely glowing in all her gorgeous, blond beauty and tanned perfect skin. I mentally berate myself for ever thinking Emmett would want anything to do with me again, hating myself for thinking of him more consistently during the day and dreaming of him at night. I could be possibly sacrificing my relationship and what could I hope to gain from it? Nothing.

I need to focus and center myself on where I belong. I have to realize how lucky I am to have Edward in my life. Besides, Emmett would never want me when he had someone like her. I'm only kidding myself for ever thinking it was a possibility. _But it had been. We were together once, and perhaps it was just as much a challenge for him to return to his daily life than it was for me, and to keep what we felt a secret was even worse? Wait, what am I saying… what do __I__feel?_

Rose relaxes atop the cushions, sitting on the other side of Edward and leans forward, gently placing her chin in her curved hand. Appraising me as she taps her manicured fingernails on her golden-toned knee, she says, "Bella, you really should join me at the spa one day. It would do you a world of good." _Hello, blow to my already-diminishing self worth. I mean honestly, everyone in the room knows she's stunning, did she really have to bash me?_

"No offense, Rose, but I don't think even hours of spa work could make me look like you," I state, irritated with her for calling me out on my flawed appearance.

"Oh, honey, shut up. That's not what I meant at all. You just seem tense lately," she responds casually, but never truly denying her superior beauty. _Bite me!_

This is yet another uncharacteristic blemish to my personality. I don't know when my annoyance with Rose flared, but it had intensified over the last few days. Perhaps I have always been somewhat jealous of all that she has-beauty, brains, wealth- but I had never outwardly lashed out at her for it. These past few days, my irritation with people in general has been slightly more obvious. _See where I'm going with this basket-case theory?_

Sensing Edward and Rose's clairvoyant glances, I decide to excuse myself from the room, citing that I need to research job openings online much to Edward's dismay. Nabbing my laptop, I duck into the hallway and shuffle hurriedly toward my room, escaping inside easily. I snuggle deeply into my duvet and fire up my computer. Watching as my background flickers to life rapidly before my tired eyes, I lean forward and reflect on how much things had changed since then. It's a picture of the four of us at a carnival, all smiles and huddled together, celebrating our lives as a group. Upon inspecting the picture more closely, I'm confounded by where Emmett's face is directed. I had always assumed he was gazing at Rosalie, but looking at it now, perhaps he was staring at me, and with a…_**longing**_expression at that. This picture was from over three years ago. Has he really been just as infatuated with me as I have been with him?

As I switch my position and recline into my lavish, frothy pillows, my eyes drift closed, and I ponder over my new discovery. So caught up in contemplating it's meaning, I drift off to sleep before my mind even has time to realize it.

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I'm awaken sometime later as Edward climbs in the bed, pulling my body close to his as he whispers, "I love you, my Bella. Goodnight." So compelled by my dreams, I drift off again without another thought or word, welcoming the images of Emmett as I curl my body toward the one I love.

_Say it with me now, "Basket-case."_

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Sitting up swiftly in my bed, completely flustered from my dream, I quickly try to focus my eyes as I search around the darkness of my room. The only object of visibility is my alarm clock flashing on the nightstand as I use it to pull me further from the depth of my fantasy. My hands persist to tremble from the dream's intensity as I clutch my throat and run my hand along my chest. I desperately try to calm my heart before it wakes Edward due to its vociferous thundering against my ribs. I push the covers off of my perspiring body and settle my feet on the cool floor. Standing on wobbly legs, I cross the hardwood covering as quickly as possible, pulling on my robe before exiting the room. In the confines of the quiet hall, I prop myself against the door momentarily as I look down the long stretch of emptiness.

With balled fists, I rub the sleep from my eyes while stumbling down the hallway in my lethargic daze and eventually use the wall to guide me through the darkness. Upon crossing the door molding to Emmett room, my hands feel barrenness as I fall into the vast void. Before my body is allowed to make contact with the floor, I land in the firm embrace of the body I would know from anywhere.

In a rush of angry whispers, he states, "Jesus Christ, Bella, I swear you're clumsy as hell."

I flinch away from the hurtfulness of his tone and deduct away a few cool points for being an utter klutz. Waiting for my eyes to fully adjust to the dark, I push away from his hold and scan his room, my eyes landing solely on the blond goddess adorning his bed as she continues to sleep soundlessly. I make a quick break for the door, apologizing repeatedly for the intrusion as I fumble my way back into the hall.

The familiar buzz of energy still circuits through my fingertips, the brief collision allowing me the comfort of feeling the richness of his skin, the rigidity of his muscles, and the tingling sensation that is left in it's wake. As I continue toward the kitchen, I feel the air thicken around me, his tentative, soft steps following along the path behind me as the electric pulse transfers between our disconnected frames. I feel my breath cloud around me as my lungs begin to expel it more quickly, my imaginative world combining with this real one, distorting my sense of morals as his body calls to mine from a short distance away. _All I have to do is turn around, but it's so wrong. How could I want something so bad? In a solitary heartbeat, I could be in his embrace, and all this agony I'm putting myself through would be over. It's that small detail that terrifies me the most, the fact that I want to go to him._

Upon entering the kitchen, my mind stills and frantically searches for any sound to indicate his whereabouts. I know he's close because I feel his presence; I can feel his eyes traveling across my skin. The darkness looms over the space, mocking me with hints of shapes as my ears perk, listening for any signs of life. A subtle movement catches my attention to my right as I snap my head in that direction, pulling my robe closer to my skin as my eyes beseech the obscurity, imploring it with my need to see him.

I fumble along the counter line, piloting my body in the direction of the fridge, knowing the light would illuminate the room. Halfway along the marble fixture, a slow tingle works its way up my spine as goosebumps scurry across my flesh, his deep tenor slithering across my damp skin in a whisper, "Anyone in particular you're looking for?"

Backing myself forcefully into the triangle-corner portion of the counter, my mouth flails open and closed as I search the depths of my brain for something… anything to say at this moment. My discombobulated temperament makes me flounder as disjointed, unformed sounds fall from my lips. "I…well…um…did," I broke off, trying to organize my thoughts, before I finish, "drink, I came for a drink. I'm thirsty."

"Oh, well let me help you with that," he simply states, the smile apparent in his voice. _I think he enjoys doing this to me._

I listened carefully as his feet pad across the floor before the refrigerator door swings open and a small shower of light flitters around the room encompassing his massive frame as he paces the small lit area. His body leans further into the beam and my eyes travel across his frame, the very man that haunts my dreams standing before me in a very limited amount of clothing. _Jesus Christ._ His black boxers hang loosely on his sharpened hips, his back a broad space of rippling muscles, flexing as he maneuvers his arms around, searching through the contents of our fridge. I can feel the saliva pool in my mouth as I explore the monstrous amount of appealing attributes that Emmett emits before me. Rising back up, he turns to me as his dimples wedge deeply into the corners of his lips, causing me to fixate solely on his mouth. His smile makes my heart both falter and then bound furiously in my chest as I stare at him, helpless to look away. I arbitrarily clutch at my robe to contain myself from reaching out to him when an unruly curl falls into his eyes, blocking those magnificent baby blues from my line of sight.

Clearing his throat, Emmett begins pouring two glasses of juice as I silently rest my back against the counter, my body contorted so I can see his profile out of the corner of my eye. Placing the cap on the container, he gently slides one cup across the counter to me. Smiling sheepishly, I grasp the glass delicately, running my fingers through the condensation before bringing the moisture up to my neck, smoothing the coolness over my rapidly-overheating flesh. Then I slowly bring the drink to my lips, running the smoothness of the edge across my lips before I take a sip. Pulling the glass away, a single drop falls, landing squarely on my chest before it slithers down between my breasts, ducking below the confines of my silk attire. Shivering slightly from the chill of the juice, I lift my face to find Emmett's smoldering gaze pointed directly at my neckline. I visibly gulp as he starts walking toward me, his gaze penetrating my skin and causing a surge of boiling blood to shoot through my vessels. Situating his body to where it was towering over mine, he leans in dangerously close, the smell of him overwhelming my senses as my mind becomes clouded with lust. "It would be wise for you to go back to your room now," he states fiercely, a raging storminess laced within his voice mutually enticing and scaring the living shit out of me.

Slowly navigating myself from beneath his concentrated stare, I bustle toward my room, quickly swinging the door open and hiding my shuddering body inside. Something within me is screaming that my being alone with Emmett this weekend could end badly. For whom, I have no idea.

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Piercing through my slumber and alerting my mind to a new day is the chime of my phone accompanied with streams of daylight passing through the curtains. Rolling over to my side, I gather the phone and quickly open the message.

**I can still feel your breath surging against my skin, wrapping around my body. I miss it. I miss you. Can you feel mine still?**

**~Emmett**

I rapidly close my phone and hide it beneath the covers. My eyes dart around the room as my ears listen intently for any sounds notifying me of Edward. Rolling over, I hear paper crinkle and grab the note from atop the bed sheet.

**Bella,**

**I tried to wake you before I left this morning to no avail. I always hate to part from you, but I needed to get to work to prepare for the trip this weekend. I hope your dreams were pleasant as your sleep was very restless. I'll be out most of the day.**

**Love you always,**

**Edward**

_What the hell?_

Pulling my cell from beneath the sheets, I stare dumbfounded at these two messages and try to differentiate the opposing feelings they provoke. Emmett's message inveigles feelings of want and desire. Yes, I can still feel his breath on me, all his moans of pleasure as his warm pants scattered across my skin. I can imagine it at this very moment as pristine as it were that day a few weeks ago, easily remembering the way his scent kissed so smoothly along my flesh as it passed around the curves of my body, tempting me with its sweetness. The fact that he misses me sends a thrilling shock throughout my frame, but then wrecks me with fear just as quickly. Despite my straying thoughts, I want to be faithful to Edward. My concern is that I won't be able to keep my need to feel Emmett again at bay.

Glancing at Edward's note, my gut becomes ransacked with guilt. His love for me is so apparent that it even leaks through his thoughts laid on paper. As I continually read over his words, I can feel how much my love means to him. There is not a single doubt in my mind, Edward does love me, and he would… _always**. **_

As I sit on the bed, clutching the note in one hand and my cell in the other, I toy with the feelings about what to do with the message. I would never deliberately lie to Edward, but if I deleted this text, I would be withholding it from him. However, he's never went through my phone so the likelihood of him finding it is slim anyway. On the other hand, he's never had a reason to search through my texts, and now he does. Throwing my phone across the bed, I let my body flop backward into the mattress with a dull thump. I feel like screaming as my shame and fascination continue to war with one another in my brain. Things should not be this complicated. Rolling over, I eyeball my phone skeptically as I bite the inside of my cheek. Leaning forward, I place my head in my hands and sigh heavily. I just have to un-complicate things.

Diving across the comforter, I pick my phone back up and read the text again. I'm not doing this to hide it from Edward, I'm doing it to keep myself from having wondering thoughts. I'm doing this to protect him. I'm doing this to protect us. Without second-guessing myself, I push delete and place the phone back on the bed. An immediate sense of regret pushes its way inside my cranium as I stand warily from my bed and head toward the bathroom for a shower to help clear my head.

Thirty minutes later when the water begins to cool against my skin, I step out with my head no more lucid than it was when I got in. I quickly dry my body and go back to my room. Standing in front of my mirror, I begin to towel-dry my wet hair as my phone begins to chime again. My eyes speedily divert to my comforter where my phone is nestled, and I stand still momentarily before my feet drag sluggishly across the wooden floor to my bed. I lower my naked body to the mattress dreadfully slow as my unsteady fingers quake and enclose cautiously around my phone. Cradling it suspiciously in my hand, I flip it open and survey the display. _1 New Message_

Without even opening it, I know who it's from. What I can't seem to figure out is why he's sending them, what changed? As I maintain my vigilant watch on the tiny screen and the writing displayed across it, my fingers begin to tremble as the phone rattles in my grasp. _My God, Bella, it's not a bomb._

My finger wavers between the read or ignore button on my phone, before finally my curiosity wins out and I click on the message.

**I dream of you at night. I fantasize about the way your body folded so delicately below mine as I moved above you. I remember the way each curve felt as I wrapped your torso in different positions. I treasured the silkiness of your skin as my hands memorized every inch of your beauty. I miss you. Do you ache to feel me?**

**~Emmett**

This is insanity, heaven help me. I've analyzed that day so many times in my mind. I've dreamed of him so much. This man is breaking my hold on reality. I glance at the last sentence and know the answer- I crave him. _Can I be stronger than temptation?_

With the mental warfare still beleaguering my psyche, I lay back in my bed again, already exhausted before my day has even began. Absently deleting the message, I toss my cell aimlessly to the bed and roll over. I automatically grab for the sheet to wrap around my body, pulling it closely to my unclothed skin and pray for the reprieve this navy blue, cotton cocoon can provide as I close my eyes and welcome my alternate universe. This real one is too convoluted.

Just as my dreams begin to drift around the outer perimeter of the unconscious part of my brain, a ring in the distance pulls me away from a much-anticipated slumber. Sullen in my mood, I reach idly for the little device to make it shut the hell up.

Flipping open the phone, my finger swiftly pushes the button, allowing the message to advertise on the small screen.

**Fresh out of the shower, are you? I can't begin to describe how envious I am of those tiny droplets as they venture around your body, dipping below the valley between your tits and rushing down the slope of your thigh. My lips and tongue would easily replace them, greedily drinking at the sugary concoction of strawberry mixed with your skin. I miss you. Would you like to feel me?**

**~Emmett**

_Oh God. _My entire lower body fills with warmth as the wetness pools between my legs. I can't even process how many times I've thought of him licking the expanse of my body, making me explode while his tongue explored the place I needed him most. In that moment, a surging chill runs up the length of my flesh, leaving me breathless as I'm mystified by the enchanted state of his text. My whole body begins to shiver, even against the combustible flames bursting from my veins, melting me from the inside out.

_That's it, I've had enough._

_

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_**A/N: We've come to the end of another chapter. We all know what I would like you to do, please do if you feel so inclined. I appreciate each one and love chatting with my reviewers. Did you miss Emmett this chapter, I sure did?**_

_**Thanks as always to my lovely wifey-beta, Rhi (Live720). If you are in to Jake (or even if you're not), she has this schmexy little story called "Seventh Inning Stretch" and I think it's nothing short of fucktacular.**_

_**I also have to give tons of smooches to CY (Crystalnicoleyo) for helping me out with this chapter. Some of the text was taken verbatim from our discussions. To my Sultaness, Leisha, thanks for your pimping skills. Finally, to my lovely, Jenn, with each of our emails, I find inspiration and encouragement to continue. Thanks for being awesome. To the usual lovies, the PattinAngels, SOB bitches, and my BBR hoors, all my sugah.**_

_**Lastly, & it's important, TEAM SOB is hosting another contest to which I'm a judge. It's called "The Rain Scene" challenge. Rules can be found on our blog, www(dot)teamsob(dot)blogspot(dot)com or on our fanfiction page, www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2046940/ .**_

**_Smooches,_**

**_Christina_**


	10. Chapter 10: The Sweetest Drug

**Woot, I fucking updated in a respectable amount of time. YAY, me! Hello to all my new people, a continued thanks for all that review, favorite, or alert. Your continued support is amazing!**

**Musical Inspiration this chapter is "Because of You" by Ne-Yo.**

**(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)**

*****Disclaimer:***_I do not own the rights to Ne-Yo's music and all character names and references to "Twilight" belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. However, my depiction of these characters and the plot were created out of the evilest parts of my mind, so that is all me. No copyright infringement intended... honestly... girl-scout style._**

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**"Chapter 10: The Sweetest Drug"**

**_EmPOV_**

I run my fingers idly through the errant mass of curls on my head, laying my phone next to me on the edge of the bed. I shift around pensively, hearing the covers tangle below my legs as I impatiently wait. The still of the room is suffocating, causing me to breathe heavier under its pressure as I pray for a response. My eyes dart to my phone, willing it to chime with the familiar sound, alerting me to something… anything that she wants to say to me in return. Disappointed with my own weakness to surrender so easily to my feelings, I dart my eyes around my room as the walls seem to close in on me with each second that passes without her answer.

More minutes continue to tick by on the standing clock next to the closet, and still no reply. Three messages of me telling her that I miss her, and in different ways, that I need her; yet, there is no impression that she can return the sentiment. I'd be a liar if I didn't say that it's a little disheartening that she isn't reciprocating my desires. I'm not really accustomed to reaching out or chasing after girls, not that I'm arrogant, but I've never had to, they always pursued me first. Perhaps I'm more drawn to Bella because she presents a challenge, although I doubt it. Whether it's rejection or denial on her part, I can't be sure, but they both cause a stinging sensation in my chest, and the churning of my intestines makes me nauseous. I don't think those side effects are elements of the "it's all part of the challenge" routine. And this, my friends, is why guys are so reluctant to put themselves out there.

I can't take the silence any longer, so I quickly rise from my bed and snatch my gym bag from the corner of the room, exiting the apartment quickly. I jet toward my vehicle just to get away- away from failure, away from loss, away from her. I drive the distance across town, and throw my jeep in park after I pull into the parking lot. After jumping out and slamming the door, my feet pound strongly against the gravel as I walk toward the large facility with a purpose. I'm intent on forcing the images of Bella from my brain with the laborious efforts a tough workout will provide, willing myself just to forget about her for just a little while.

I haven't been able to escape her all week. One would think it would be easy to leave the room, jealous of her cozying up next to Edward on the couch constantly throughout the days, but even when I was away from her, she occupied my thoughts… and my dreams. I found myself hastily counting down the days until he was gone and I could have her all to myself again.

With Rose consistently being out of the house, preparing for her trip with what she states is "necessary girl time"- I call it "bullshit money suckers" because it was hundreds of dollars for new suits, salon trips, spa time, etcetera- I was left alone and envious of the snuggle periods Edward was getting on our couch. _Big guys like to cuddle too, dammit. _

So, as a source of entertainment, I began to have fun with Bella in an underhanded manner. I enjoy riling her up- suggesting the monotonous television shows I knew she hated, scaring her in the pantry, following her to the kitchen- however, now I have to think I only served myself up a good portion of blue-balls because she doesn't seem to be as affected by it at all since she's not returning my texts. _Wow, someone's getting bitter._

As I walk inside the complex, I scan the machinery and ignore Heidi as she tries to carry on her meaningless, flirty conversation while I sign in. Before I leave the front desk, I pull my cell from my pocket and hesitantly check for a reply. Still nothing. Tossing it haphazardly into my bag with a flick of my wrist, I practically sprint to the locker room, an angry beat to my steps as I roll my shoulders and pop my neck while walking up the ramp, my whole body tense. The usual chatter in the guys' room halts upon me entering, the laughter ceasing as some of my buddies look at me warily. They can tell by the set of my jaw just to leave that shit alone, don't bother asking me a damn thing or try making small talk because I won't be saying much.

However, James, being the dumbfuck that he is, strolls in laughing obnoxiously loud with some other employee and surveys the silence of the room, eyeing me especially. He makes short conversation with various guys, working his way across the room to me as I unpack my iPod and leg wraps. Coming up close, he leans in and asks, "What's got you in such a sour mood?"

While keeping my eyes trained on the contents of my bag, I grind out an irritated, "Not today, asshole."

Big mistake.

James has never been that smart of a person and has yet to understand when to keep his fucking mouthed closed. He also doesn't like anyone emasculating him by showing him up in front of a group of guys, but more importantly, not in his place of employment. I knew better, I shouldn't have said anything at all, but with my ill-tempered mood, I spoke, and evidently loud enough to gather the attention of the room.

James rushes forward, his nostrils flaring as his nose halts inches from my mine as he sneers, spit flying from his mouth as he annunciates each word, "What's got your panties in a wad, that hot-ass brunette not letting you hit her pussy anymore?"

I don't think, my vision blurs as every cell in my body explodes with adrenaline and my muscles coil, I shoot for him. I grab him forcefully by the neck and slam his back against the lockers. The harsh sound of flesh meeting metal vibrates in the confined space around us, as I speak with a deliberant infuriated tone, "Listen here, motherfucker. I usually let the bullshit you say roll off my back because quite frankly, you're an underhanded, vile piece of shit that I don't want to associate myself with, but trust, if I ever so much as hear you insinuate shit about Bella again, I won't hesitate to rip your fucking throat out with my bare hands." Shoving him backward again, grinding his back violently into a padlock, I seethe, "Do you fucking understand me?"

His eyes proceed to narrow as his face contorts in an evil smirk, "So, I take that as a yes. Maybe she'll let me have a go?"

A maniacal laughter spurs from my chest as I state, "I always knew you were a stupid sonovabitch."

Pumping my shoulder back, I draw my right hand into a fist and throw it forward, gathering momentum as the air whistles past my skin and I connect with his jaw. The audible crack sounds in the space around me as time slows down momentarily while a severe pain shoots through my hand and radiates across my knuckles. His head jerks immediately to the left with the impact of the punch, spraying blood with the force as his mouth starts to redden and swell. Within seconds, I was rearing back to lay into him again when the group of guys try to disengage the situation, grabbing and separating both of us as we continue to shout profanities at one another across the short distance. _Well, I guess this workout is over. _

Shrugging the guys away, I start chucking my shit back in the bag and shove my phone in my pocket before I look at James's face again, proud of my handiwork as he continues to spit out blood. "This is far from over, man," he barks, rubbing at his jaw.

My only response is, "I was hoping you'd say that," because the truth is I have been wanting to knock his ass out for a while now.

As the office manager and a few other employees approach me, I know I'm probably in a bit of trouble and await the repercussions of my actions.

The elderly man comes up and pats me on the back as his old, tired eyes bore into mine. "Emmett, man, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Garrett, it's not a problem, I understand," I say, giving him a bit of a nod.

He sighs heavily and continues, "And as per the rules of your contract, fighting inside the gym is prohibited and you'll have to remain off the premises for ninety days for your violation." _Well, that sucks._

Offering a quick smile, I gather my things and exit the locker-room, descend the ramp as swiftly as possible, and make the exit toward my vehicle. _No gym time for three months is going to blow. _

* * *

Arriving home, I unlock the door and step through the frame, tossing my bag to the floor, and kicking it out of the way. _I can't believe I fucking got kicked out of the gym. _

Flinging my keys to the countertop, I lift my head just in time to catch Bella standing from the couch and whirling around to face me. "There you are."

"Here I am," I state while extending my arms out to my side, wincing when my right hand catches the metal of the fridge._ Fuck, that's sore._

She runs straight to me and lifts my hand carefully, looking between me and it accusatorily. "What did you do?" she questions circumspectly.

"It's nothing," I respond with a cruel edge, turning my face away from her so I can avoid the hurt in her eyes .

Pulling my hand from her grasp, I walk across the kitchen and snatch a towel from the drawer, shutting the cabinet with more force than necessary. After peevishly crossing the kitchen again, I hurl open the freezer and start filling the rag with ice, the cubes clashing together noisily as I pile them atop each other. Closing the door with my shoulder discordantly, I stalk to the living room, carrying my unpleasant mood with me, and launch myself into the recliner without saying a word to her. Flipping on the T.V., I lounge back and settle the cold cloth over my knuckles, holding back a sob as it flops roughly over the cuts. I casually stroll through the channels, trying to maintain a semblance of composure as I hear Bella pace the tile floors in the kitchen area behind me.

Finally she rounds the corner and stands between the television and me, completely blocking out the screen from my line of sight as she squares her shoulders and elevates her chin. "I asked _what did you do_?" she states determinedly, a worried staccato hugging her words.

Narrowing my eyes, I retort while staring at her, "And I said it was nothing!"

A flash of sadness passes behind her gentle eyes before she steps guardedly toward me, lowering her body until she is kneeling beside my chair. In the softest of whispers, she questions dejectedly, "Won't you tell me? Please." _Ahhh shit._

Leaning forward in the seat, I drop the ice pack to the ground and place my elbows on my knees, bearing the brunt of my weight on them as my head slumps low with resignation. Then lifting my gaze, I stare at her briefly before I'm lost to her because she hypnotizes me so easily. _God, she's beautiful. _

Her waves of chocolate tresses fall lazily over her shoulders, caressing her creamy skin as only I wish I could. As she anticipates my explanation, she pulls her pouted bottom lip into her mouth, the contrast between her plump ruby lips and the stark white of her teeth captivates and holds my attention there. I reflexively lick my lips as she works the flesh between her teeth, chewing on it as she stares back at me. The need to touch her triggers a response from my fingers as they slice the air between us and gently cup her face, my thumb moving slowly over the smooth angle of her cheekbone.

She tilts her face into my palm and sighs breathily, and I swear my dick roars to life instantly with the sound, straining against the confines of my shorts and letting her know he's ready to play. Then, she reaches up with her hand and presses it firmly against mine which causes me to cry out with pain. Breaking up the moment, she quickly jerks her face and hand away. Shaking her head from side-to-side, she closes her eyes briefly before opening them. "Emmett, please. Answer me."

Sullen with the interrupted moment, I again curse the existence of that low-life, James. If I hadn't had to punch him because he talked so impertinently about her, she wouldn't have had a reason to pull away. Gruffly expelling the air from my lungs, I resituate my position in the chair and proceed to tell her about the events at the gym. When she questions about the reason for the quarrel, I leave out the fact that it had been about her. If she was freaked out about my texts, then she might not like the fact that I almost knocked a guy out because he talked about her. Plus, the way he defiled her so disrespectfully in front of a room of guys isn't something I want her to know either.

A long pause lingers between us after I finish my story, and I try to work up the nerve to question her about the texts and why she never replied. I can tell she has something to get off her chest as well. I know this by the way she keeps sneaking glances from between her lashes and opening and closing her mouth a few times as she flips her cell phone idly between each hand. Just as I'm about to open my mouth, the door handle in the kitchen begins to jingle and I know our time is up. _Always interrupted._

Bella pushes away from the floor and stands, skipping to the door to greet whomever is on the other side. As she reaches the island in the middle of the kitchen, the door slides open and the sight of familiar, crazy auburn hair peeks inside. _Joy._

Ushering himself through the doorway, he travels toward Bella and places a kiss to her temple before he inclines his head and shouts, "Rose said to tell you she'd be home later, she had to get a new suit for the presentation on Saturday."_ Figures, thanks for calling me, honey or did you lose your phone?_

I watch petulantly as Bella jumps up on the counter and Edward slides between her legs and cradles each side of her face in his hands. I quickly look away and fight back the swell of bile as it climbs my throat, their show of intimacy making my stomach uneasy. Gluing my eyes to the television screen, I turn the channel to ESPN and listen to Wilbon and Kornheiser argue their points on _Pardon the Interruption_.

I startle after hearing a loud pop sound from the kitchen and turn my head toward the noise. I watch as Bella smiles and lowers her head and Edward turns to walk in the direction of their room. I scrutinize her on the counter, as she lets her head sag further between her raised shoulders, her hair swaying in time with her swinging legs.

Suddenly, I'm accosted with a fantasy of Bella's delicate frame lying on top of the counter, her beautiful, chocolate locks fanning across the swirled marble patterns below her. Her body is writhing below me as she parts her legs and welcomes me into her. The scorching heat of her center pulls me further into her and I relish in her warmth. Breathing rapidly, she begs me to take her harder and faster with panting moans. As the images fade away, I look at her again, still perched in the same position and I scramble into my pocket to grab my phone.

Settling it on my thigh, I peck out my message with my left hand on the qwerty keyboard of my Blackberry.

**I like the way you look on top of our counter. I'd like it even more if you were naked… and under me. I miss you. Do you want me to make that happen?  
~Emmett**

Yeah, it took me a good five or six minutes to type that shit out and I was hoping the entire time she wouldn't hop down or the message wouldn't have had the same impact as it hopefully would now. I wait anxiously and within seconds her phone chimes. Her head immediately snaps up to me, her coffee-stained eyes staring solely into mine as her brows furrow respectively. I only offer a smile as she reaches uncertainly to her phone. I feel my heart pump harder in my chest as I suck in a breath and hold it, happy to be able to see firsthand if my messages have any effect on her.

Looking at her, I almost snicker as I heed her sharp intake of breath followed by an abrupt clank as the phone falls from her grasp and hits the floor. Shooting off the counter, she bends down swiftly and retrieves the device, cradling it between trembling fingers to her heaving chest. Slowly, she turns to face the counter again before she turns back to me, the war in her mind evident as her face contorts beautifully. When her eyes reach mine once more, they are hooded as an impish grin creeps upon her face. The heat that's radiating from her body to mine causes my dick to stir and my hands to fidget along the seam of the recliner. I feel my own lids become weighted as a fresh round of lust blazes throughout my body. With deliberate steps, she starts closing the distance between us; each prowess stride is guiding her closer to me. I find that I'm hard-pressed not to leap from the recliner and tackle her in the center of the room as my body craves the comfort of hers. Instead I remain in my seat, letting her dictate the course of our actions as I always have while each cell of my body is vibrating more intensely as she grows nearer.

Once she gets within a few short steps from me, my body is a separate entity as it hums forcefully while my blood throttles violently through my veins. It's like my body understands hers and is luring her in with an old chant, our souls singing a song of persuasion- a song of sex and pleasure that each body understands perfectly.

I reach out my hand to pull her to me, and she readily accepts, her palms easily encased by the massive folds of my fingers. As I'm tugging her closer, the ambiance of the air around us becomes thicker, scented strongly with desire as I stare into her eyes.

Then the atmosphere is severed as Edward bounds out of the hall while shouting, "Hey, Bella, have you seen-" he cuts off abruptly as his head cocks to the side, obviously taking in the proximity and familiarity of our position. Bella drops my hand while throwing her head in his direction as I grind my teeth to keep from crying out with the loss of her and the pain that expands transversely along my knuckles. Shaking his head momentarily, he finishes his question by stating, "-the blue tie with the white stripes? I need to pack it."

She quickly turns back to me before she backs away, putting distance between our bodies as she answers him. "Uh, yeah… blue tie, it's in the bag of stuff I picked up at the cleaners last week." And just as quickly as I blink my eyes, she's gone.

* * *

Later, after everyone is through eating, I offer to help Bella clear away the dishes, but she dismisses me. So, I go and plop down in the living room while I wait for Rose to get out of the shower.

After Bella finishes with the kitchen, she comes in and sits next to Edward. As he pulls her into an embrace, I battle a moan as my lips stretch into a thin line. It should be me next to her, I want it to be me next to her. So, I do the stupidest thing possible. Picking up my phone, I try to let her know how I feel, while hopefully causing him to break his hold on her.

Fingering the keys as quickly as my hand allows, I type out the message.

**It should be me. I want it to be my whispers in your ear, my hands on your flesh, my kisses on your lips. Always me to you. I miss you. Would you let me hold you?  
~Emmett**

After typing it out, I look at it briefly as my finger hovers over the send button. On impulse, I press the button and smile to myself as I hear a ring from across the room and covertly place my cell inside my pocket, patting it for good measure.  
I watch from my periphery as she pulls herself out of his arms and reaches for the phone in the back of her jeans. As she opens the message, her eyebrows arch until they disappear behind her long side-bangs and her face flushes. I hold back a snicker as I watch her chew earnestly on her lip while she fumbles with the phone. Once her eyes reach mine, I just wink, trying to keep the charm alive as well as let her know that I mean every word.

That's when I see Edward as he stands on the sidelines for the second time, his eyes lingering on Bella before they shift to see where she's looking, directly at me. Clearing my throat seems to snap her out of her disoriented state as well because we both jerk our faces to the television screen simultaneously. I chance a peek back at Edward and observe how he stares at his beloved, a distressed expression twisting his features, and then I hurt for him, too.

Crossing the room quickly while ducking my head to my chest, I walk the hallway in a dead sprint, opening it swiftly before I launch myself in to bed with all my clothes on. Rolling over to my side, I close my eyes and wait for the peaceful time where I can be with Bella uninterrupted.

* * *

I awake later to what seems like a few minutes of divine enchantment when in all actuality it had been hours of dreaming of her. Throwing the covers off my body, I flop to my back and raise my head marginally as Rose rushes to pack a suitcase.

Finally, Friday is here.

As I sigh heavily, Rose throws her head up and smiles, "Don't worry, babe, I'll be back soon. It's just the weekend."

A pang of guilt washes over me as I realize I'm happy she's going away, and she interprets my heavy sigh as hating that she's leaving. Giving her a smile in return, I say the words that used to come so easily, but now seems forced. "I'm going to miss you, Rose."

As she continues to fly around the room, grabbing the last minute items she'll need, I close my eyes and relive my dreams. The enticing need to have Bella surrounding me fills me with equal amounts of shame and excitement.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Edward woke me up earlier this morning by asking me to shower with him before he went on his way. As we stand below the warm spray together, I start lathering his back while the swirls of steam dance around my face and calm me. Washing over the contours of his muscles with the soapy loofah, my mind begins to drift and I allow it.

I wonder how Emmett's massive shoulders would lean against the wall as he brings his lips to mine. I easily picture the way his hand would ease into my hair as he leans his body into mine, the deep channel weaving in and out of muscle as he pressed himself into me. My mind replays all his texts in my head, especially the last. He wants it to be him, and fuck me if I want it to be him also.

Edward's soft music cuts through my fuzzy disorientation and reminds me who I'm with, who I should want. I thread my arms in the space between his waist and his arms, resting my forehead in the spinal groove that runs down the center of his back. When he squeezes my hand and peaks over his shoulder with a dazzling smile, I press my lips to his back and swallow down the bitter taste of guilt as it collects in my mouth.

After he washes me and we share a few gentle kisses, we emerge from the shower, my body clean, but my thoughts filled with debauchery. I watch from the chaise lounge in our room as he dresses in his expensive navy suit and rummages through his suitcase to make sure he has everything he needs. Applying lotion to my body, I dress quickly in matching plush, rose-colored lace undergarments, tossing on some yoga capri pants and a fitted tank.

As he finishes zipping his suitcase, he glances toward me and darts across the room, bringing me to his chest forcefully as his hands grip my hips hard. I peer up at him as his face is heavenly twisted, stormy green eyes staring down on me as his lips pull down in a frown.

Reaching up to comfort him, I run my fingers through his hair and linger on the nape of his neck, twisting the short tresses in the tips of my fingers. Gazing at him, I realize I've never seen him look as troubled as he is now, and a large part of me has to consider it's because of Emmett and myself.

As I search for the right sentiments to say that should comfort him, my words are immediately squashed in the back of my throat because I never want to lie to him, and as much as I pray I don't do anything with Emmett, I know how much I yearn for him. Just as I open my mouth to make some kind of assurance, Edward presses his finger to my lips and shakes his head.

"I want… no, I need you to know that I love you more than my words can articulate." His fierce gaze is imploring as he finishes his statement, his fingers still firmly pressed against my lips.

My words are jumbled by the block of his forefinger, but my message is clear. "I know, and I love you, too."

He nods vigorously as he sweeps his lips urgently across mine, his tongue rapidly exploring my mouth with such nostalgia. My eyes begin to burn as tears brim instantaneously in my ducts and a large lump forms in my throat. He gradually pulls his lips from mine before he rests his forehead against mine, mumbling with soft breaths against my hair, "I'll miss you."

Wrapping my arms around his lean form, I whisper across the space between us, "And I'll miss you as well."

The tension between us diffuses as we separate and he walks to the bed to retrieve his suitcase. As I walk hand-in-hand with him to the living room, we see Rose and Emmett saying their goodbyes also.

Edward and I follow behind them as we all walk to the door together, everyone giving their final hugs and kisses before they depart for their weekend business trip. As Rose and Edward pass through the frame, Emmett leans against the door jam, bracing his forearm high on the molding while I peer through the tiny space from behind him.

I call out to them, "Bye, please be careful."

Rose turns around and offers a smile while stating, "Don't worry, Bella, I'll take good care of him."

A slice of jealously rips through me as I consider what she meant by her statement, but I let it go because I had actually slept with her boyfriend and she let me live afterward.

As Edward and Rosalie round the corner and a walk out of view, Emmett turns around and I find myself instantly backing away from the hunger assembling in his eyes. Reflexively gulping, I find that it's hard to breathe under the intensity in his stare, the way his icy gaze fixates along the outline of my form. The heat becomes stifling and my clothes feel like they're clinging to my body as tiny pools of sweat spring out across my flesh, and a cool burst sweeps furiously down my spine causing my entire body to tremble. As I hear the soft sound of metal clicking, I realize he's locking the door and suddenly the air is suffocating as if a vacuum sucked the oxygen from the room as the door was being closed. _Uh-oh._

As he stalks toward me with a predatory swagger, I instinctively take a step away, my whole body on edge and vibrating as he continues to stare me down.

He speaks while he glides his feet toward me, the animalistic purr he emits is intoxicating and tempting, making my legs quake and my heart race.

"Just like a drug, I know I shouldn't, but your body sings to me, and I know that I can't stay away from such a sensual melody," he drones, the hoarse tenor in his voice making me wet.

As I take tentative steps away from him, I'm suddenly met with the back of the wall and a squeak escapes from between my lips. Closing the distance quickly without delay, he braces his arms on each side of my body, in essence trapping me against the wall, no place for my body to move but forward and against him. He leans his powerfully built frame toward me as he closes his eyes and inhales deeply. As he exhales with a sigh, his eyes snap open and then fall to my lips as he murmurs, "You're the sweetest drug. The only drug I've ever wanted. You make me weak while simultaneously making me feel high. I want to absorb you- take all that you are into me like a puff of smoke."

My mouth turns bone dry as the moisture is directed elsewhere in my body. God, I know it's wrong, but if he took me now, I'd let him. So, with my last bit of will, I begin to chant Edward's name over and over in my brain.

_Edward loves me, I love him. Edward loves me, I love him._

And then Emmett touches me, his hands flittering across my body, his passes are gentle yet strike a blast of heat down to the very core of me. I moan softly as his fingers skirt around my hips, my stomach, my legs, my arms, my shoulders, he's everywhere at once, like he doesn't know where he wants to begin or how much he wants to take of me, and my hearts starts to hammer away at my chest and ribs like it's trying to escape. _At least some part of me is trying to fight back._

He drives his hand up the center of my chest, resting it tenderly between the swells of my breasts as he whispers against my neck, "Your heart is beating so hard, but it matches mine perfectly." Taking one of my shaking hands in his, he presses it flatly against the rigid valley of his pecs and I can feel his heart's thunderous booming as the rhythm resembles my own .

I swallow quickly as my tongue sneaks between my lips and licks the tender flesh of my pout. A soft growl passes between us as he drops my hand and surges forward, his fingers pushing into my hair as he pulls my face to join his. I inhale sharply, my body going stiff as a swarm of electricity wires my frame and a quick gargle spews from my lips in one rushed word. "NoEmmettwait."

Stopping millimeters from my mouth, his fingers thread further into my hair as he rubs it between their tips, my scalp and body tingling all the way to my toes. His breaths are uncontrollable and persistent as his chest frequently meets mine. In a pained mumble, he pleads, "Please don't ask me to stop."

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**_A/N: I promise I'm not going to make this "cliffy" thing a regular occurrence, cross my pervy little heart. Honestly though, I'm worried about the reactions to this chapter and all I can say is it's a true struggle for Bella. I know everyone's getting upset that she's using them, but she wants to do right. She can't give up years of a relationship with Edward on a whim just because she longs for Emmett, and she doesn't want to give up the yearning & incredible sex she has with Emmett just to go back to monotony. The story & plot will progress, it'll just be really bumpy as we go along. So, your thoughts? I'm very curious._**

**_My usual thank you's: Rhi (Live720) You control this pervy heart of mine in the depths of your twisted, fuckhawt fic "Seventh Inning Stretch." Thanks for doing all that you do to make this fic worthy enough for my great readers._**

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_**To my Sultaness, Leisha, thanks for your pimping skills. Finally, to my lovely, Jenn, you continue to give me guidance & your therapy lounge is so comfortable. Thanks for being awesome. To the usual lovies, the PattinAngels, SOB bitches, and my BBR hoors, all my sugah.**_

_**Lastly, & it's important, YOU STILL HAVE TIME! TEAM SOB is hosting another contest to which I'm a judge. It's called "The Rain Scene" challenge. Rules can be found on our blog, www(dot)teamsob(dot)blogspot(dot)com or on our fanfiction page, www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2046940/ .**_

**_Smooches,_**

**_Christina_**


	11. Chapter 11: Transport Us Through Time

**_As per usual, I want to welcome all the new readers, and continue to thank all those that loyally review, or those that have alerted or favorited my fic. I still find it amazing that so many of you have stayed by my side as this story continues. I'm so fortunate to have incredible readers as all of you. *sniffles*_**

**_Musical Inspiration for Edward's POV is "Used To" by Daughtry. It's pretty spot on to how he's feeling._**

**_(Edit: Outfits for this chapter are available on my profile.)_**

**_***_Disclaimer:*_** I do not own the rights to Daughtry's music and all character names and references to "Twilight" belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. I am just trying to create a world where Emmett and Bella could be together._**

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**"Chapter 11: Transport Us Through Time"**

_**EdPOV**_

As I settle my suit-clad body back into the plush, comfortable seating of first class, I smooth my tie over me chest and glance out the window at the dark pavement below the plane. Waiting for my fellow business associates and other random executives to fill in the space around me, I take out my phone and hold it casually in my hand, staring down at the picture of my beautiful Bella that occupies the screen. Continuing to get lost in her scarlet pout and the warm coffee tone in her eyes, I feel my heart flutter, the love I feel for her detonates in my chest as the warmth spreads throughout my body. I remember the very first day I saw her as if it were mere minutes ago.

_I was walking to my engineering class with an old friend and Rosalie's brother, Jasper, and I threw my head back with laughter at one of his jokes. Upon pulling my face forward, I heard the most gorgeous voice I had ever heard in my life and my neck nearly broke as it snapped in her direction. My body started drifting toward her on its own accord, but I wouldn't have fought it anyway, I was entranced by her. Jasper's voice was left lingering in the air behind me as my brain was caught in a miasma of her presence. She was beautiful, and my eyes washed over her body, drinking her in greedily as if I had been parched my whole life. The pallid color of her skin was glowing in the light of the sun while crafty red tints speared their way through her long waves of chestnut brown, twisting into perfect curls as they cascaded over her shoulder and washed along the tops of her breasts. As she tucked a disobedient piece of hair behind her ear, I must have caught her attention because she turned her face so that her glimmering eyes caught mine. Biting down on her perfect bottom lip, a rose blush crept across her cheeks as she continued to gaze upon me, and I swear my heart exploded against my ribs. She was achingly charismatic. Reaching her, I was mesmerized by the way she swayed her body and looked at me from beneath her dark, curved lashes, her innocence exuded all around her. She had to have been an angel... an angel sent to rescue me because at that moment, I was finding it difficult to breathe, and I knew in that second, I wanted her to be mine. _

"Edward, put your phone away, we just left. She'll be fine," Rosalie chides as she takes the seat across the aisle in front of me, instantly breaking me from my reflection.

"But Rose-" I start before she cuts me off abruptly.

"Dammit, Edward, you have to let the girl have a little independence. She's been up under you all week, let the woman breathe for once," she states in angry whispers.

"You think I'm… suffocating her?" I question worriedly, my eyebrows bunching together as I ponder the thought. _I don't want to be that__ guy- the one that's more of a shadow than a boyfriend._

Rosalie's face instantly softens as she tucks her legs under her and eases her body across the aisle, resting her elbows on her knees as she leans toward me. "Listen, Edward, believe me, I know you love her. I do. But for Christ's sake, we haven't even left the airport yet. You can't call her every fifteen minutes while we're gone and question her about what's she doing. She's a big girl now, let her act like one. Emmett never hassles me while I'm away, it's just not a guy thing to do. What's that saying? Oh yeah, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.' Take it from me, don't bug the shit out of her, and she'll be ecstatic to see you when we get home," she declares, winking at me and patting my hand in a matronly manner before she retreats back into her seat.

God, how I want to believe Rose, have faith that she sleeps restlessly because for once she's dreaming of me. I hope that she pictures me around our house and waits to hear my voice over the phone like I do her. _Damn, I'm so whipped._

As the plane readies to leave the runway, the light comes on overhead signaling for us to put on our seatbelts as they announce to turn off all electronics. I have to restrain myself to keep from kissing her picture in absence of the real thing, not wanting to look like a complete freak, and just power it down. Rolling my head to my shoulder, I watch as the plane gathers speed and we ultimately leave the ground.

Eventually the pilot comes over the intercom and goes through the usual airline speech of forecast and arrival time as my eyes concentrate exclusively on the sky outside of the small porthole. I find subtle bits of peace in the clouds and the city below me, but my mind wonders back to the conversation of mine and Rosalie's previous business trip.

_Rose giggled to herself as her eyes focused across the aisle to me. "I think they'll have sex this week."_

_I immediately blanched, my chest burning with her words as my stomach jumped into my throat. "What makes you say that?" I question cautiously, not really certain if I wanted to know the answer or not._

_She just rolled her eyes and started stroking the ends of her hair indifferently as she affirmed, "You can't be _that_ blind."_

_I sighed heavily because I knew exactly what she was talking about. If I hadn't noticed them exchanging longing glances and their unequivocal interest in one another beforehand, Bella calling his name out in her sleep would have been a dead giveaway. Man, that part really sucked. Up until this point, I had always figured Bella was like every other human, looking but never touching, dreaming but never seeking him out. _

_For some reason, the silence between us made me feel like I was being disrespectful to Rose so I spoke softly while avoiding her knowing eyes, "I… don't think…she…would." If the statement hadn't been spoken as a question, then the hesitancy in my voice made me sound completely unbelieving of the very words from my mouth. _

_Rose just resituated her skirt and giggled. "Come on, Masen, it isn't really that bad."_

_I did it again. I couldn't control the twitch of my body as it seized at her words as if she had slapped me with a frozen Porterhouse steak. How could she act so disinterested, as if thinking about her boyfriend with another woman didn't just rip her heart out? I could feel mine tighten up with the very idea of some other guy even looking at Bella, my hands automatically curling into shaking fists._

_Finally, my curiosity gave way as my words fell from my lips like rushing flood waters, "I don't understand how you seem so unaffected by this. How can you sit there and not even bat an eye to the thought of some other woman's body lying on top of _your _boyfriend? How isn't it… killing you?"_

_She raised her eyes to meet mine as she dropped the blond locks from her fingertips and exhaled an exacerbated breath. As she straightened her back, she muttered something along the likes of "fucking men and their territorial natures," which had me quirking a brow. I wasn't… possessive, was I?_

"_Look, Eduardo, I'm going to do my best to explain something to you, and it would be wise of you to listen up and take heed to my advice," she stated in a calm, yet assured style._

_I nodded my head tentatively, letting her know she'd have my utmost attention._

"_Here's the deal, you're my friend as is she. You have to remember, you're the first real shot Bella had at a decent guy. All the guys before you were loser assholes who treated her like crap, and only used Bella to try to get into her pants. When she wouldn't fuck them, they dropped her. Then she meets you, Mr. Fucking Amazing with your pretty boy features and alluring voice, and I imagine she felt like she won the jackpot. But, you're Bella's only source of happiness, the only shot she's had at experiencing what being in love has to offer. She's still relatively young and naïve when it comes to exploring sex and knowing her body. You aren't married yet, so you really don't have entitlement to what she does." She paused briefly, still making sure I was listening carefully before she continued. "Personally, I think you're damn lucky it's Emmett she decided to mess around with instead of some random fucker at that park she hangs out in."_

"_Now, as far as how I can handle it… I'm no martyr or nun, I've done my harmless flirting, but just like Emmett knows I'm not going anywhere, I know he isn't either," she finished, pursing her lips and curving her a single brow upward as if to say 'I own him.'_

_I let her words tumble around in my head, and she did have a point. Although the fact of Bella being with another man made my throat muscles constrict involuntarily, I was lucky that it was Emmett of all possible men. He was about as standup a guy as they came, someone I admired and cherished as a friend, but was I really considering going along with this… I don't know what to call it- whatever they may or may not be doing?_

_I closed my eyes, resigned to the fact that I was. I would give Bella the world if it meant her happiness, and if Emmett was something that could make her happy for a little while, I'd suck up my pride and let it happen. After all, it couldn't possibly last forever could it?_

_As if Rose had read my thoughts she declared, "It won't last forever, Edward. They'll inevitably tire of one another. New sex is always good in the beginning, it's exciting, but over time, when you don't have the emotions to back it up, it just becomes lackluster sex. You know she loves you. I've never seen her look at another man the way she looks at you. It's actually quite complex, almost like she's in awe of you."_

After accidentally bumping my shoulder and jostling my body and mind back to the present, the flight attendant asks if she could assist me with anything. After declining the customary drink and watching the stewardess' departure, my eyes sweep across the aisle to Rose. She has a pensive expression on her face as she bites her manicured thumb nail and looks thoughtfully back at me. Without a word, she gathers her planner in her hands and crosses the small space between us, inclining her head toward the empty seat beside me. "May I?"

I nod slowly, quickly gathering my own supplies, and stow it away on the floor below me. Sitting back up, I turn to offer a smile until I'm met with fierce, honey-brown eyes. "You really are stressing over all this, aren't you?" she questions, concern taking form in her sad eyes and subtle frown.

I force my eyes away from hers, hoping that maybe if she can't see into mine, she won't know how hard it was for me to leave the house- how difficult it had been for me to walk away from our apartment; and leave Bella, the love of my life, in the company of another man. Just as I attempt to lie, I feel a soft toe make contact with the hem of my pants, my body instantly stiffening and becoming completely rigid. As the velvety flesh of her appendage inches its way under the fabric of my pants, she starts gliding along the sensitive skin of my shin. Reflexively, I grip the armrest stoutly with my hand while sucking in a shuddering breath. _What the hell?_

My apprehensive eyes immediately snap to Rose's just as her fingers start working across the jacket-covered area of my forearm. Peering up at me slowly beneath her lashes, I swallow deeply as her fingers steadily climb up my arm. _I am so lost right now, what is she doing?_

I watch as she bites down on her lower lip with a smile, and wrench my eyes away from her face as I track her French-tipped fingernails digging into the dark wool of my Prada suit as they dance along the folds of the fabric. Goosebumps break out across my skin as my eyes become heavy, and I shake my head roughly, trying to bring relativity to the situation.

"I could make you forget about it for a little while," she purrs as she leans toward me and nuzzles my neck. "I can make you forget everything."

My ribs vibrate with the vigorous tremors of my heart as it rockets around loosely in my chest, and I swallow hoarsely against the dryness in my mouth. I imagine my eyes as big as saucers as I just stare at her, completely flabbergasted, lost to what she's insinuating. She reaches up and wraps her hand around my tie, tugging it loose from beneath my jacket as she pulls me closer to her, skimming along my jawline with the bridge of her nose and inhales deeply.

I mean, Rose is really beautiful. Her golden blond hair falls in big curls and shines against the light tan of her skin. Her smoldering eyes remind me of butterscotch and her lips resemble the color of candy apples. Her body is shapely and she's very attractive, but we had tried the whole dating thing back in high school, and it didn't work out. I have so much to thank Rose for, she's the very best friend a guy could want, but there is no other woman for me but Bella. For the past four years, that woman has been my life, and I'd marry her in a minute if she would have me.

I can sense my mouth open and closing rapidly as the wheels churn in my brain, trying to find an appropriate way to let Rose know that I'm not interested, but I'm too frenzied. The way her fingers delicately stroke the length of my forearm keeps registering in my brain and has me in a haze of doubt and confusion.

Before I can completely wrap my mind around her advances, her musical laughter bellows out in the tiny cabin of first class, gaining the attention of a few of its passengers as she leans her head against my shoulder. "God, I'm just fucking with you. Lighten up, will you?"

Relief.

My breath rushes out of my chest promptly upon hearing her words. Laying my head on top of hers, I sigh deeply, rustling her flaxen tresses before saying, "Thank Christ, you almost scared the shit out of me for a second."

She just chuckles and wraps her arm around mine, tucking her elbow closely to my body and snuggles tightly against me. Nudging my shoulder with her cheek, she whispers, "Talk to me, Edward. Tell me what's on your mind."

Her inquiry is the only encouragement I need. Rose is my confidant, someone I can divulge all my secrets to easily and entrust that she'll give me sound advice. The syllables spill out of my mouth as I tell her in hurried, rushed whispers about how uncertain I have become about everything, how much I miss how Bella and I used to be, and how much I wanted the_old us_ back.

I depend on Bella more than I allow myself or her to acknowledge. She's my lifeline, the sole reason I want to live and breathe. I cherish waking up to her each morning, dread going to the office because I feel like I'm missing out on precious time with her, and rush to get home after work so that I can hold her in my arms again. I require her soft strawberry fragrance to breathe easier. Her voice is essential to me; it calms the tempestuous movements of my brain. Her tender touch contributes to the soothing of the frequent tension in my muscles. I need her to survive, she is everything to me. However, as of late, I feel like she's slipping away, piece by piece, I'm losing her.

I disclose with Rose about how I started noticing her distance after we arrived back from the previous trip. The guilt I knew she was harboring rolled off her in waves, and no matter how much I tried to reassure her that everything would be fine, it seemed as though she had built a wall, and for the first time since our relationship had began, I was on the other side.

Over this past week, she seemed really short-fused and fatigued. I had tried to write it off as feminine issues, but when her monthly never came around, I was left as baffled as I am now.

Then, I began sharing with Rose about the instances that I had caught most recently between Emmett and Bella. Coming into the living room that one night, the way she was sauntering over to him, the way her eyes glowed as she appraised Emmett in the chair had made my knees wobble and my heart clench in my chest. I knew that stare well because that's how she looked at me when we first started dating. Better yet, it was the way that Emmett was observing her that had me tilting my head in observation. His body was tense but relaxed as he stared at her with such adoration. It was clear that I had walked in on an intimate moment, a time shared between them, and my entrance had been unwarranted and undesirable, no matter how fortuitous my reasoning had been.

Later on in the evening, when we were watching television, Bella's phone had chimed, and after a small gasp, she clutched the device to her chest like it was her lifeline. I wondered what she had read, but after following her gaze, I saw how fixated she was on Emmett, and I knew. My heart sank as I realized she had been affected by his words, and for the first time I wanted to go through her phone. I needed to study her messages and read the words that made her face flush and her breathing speed up… and I yearned to destroy them because I desired to be the only man that could manipulate her bodily reactions like he had. I could feel a fissure starting to develop in our relationship. As the concrete that binds us together starts to loosen, she'll fall, and with my trembling hands, I want be able to grab onto her because I would have fallen long before she had ever started her decent. I was on the edge of losing my sanity, the last remnants of it starting to crumble the very minute I allowed Bella to escape into another man's embrace.

What seems like mere minutes turns into a couple hours and the whole while, Rose sits silently with her limbs tangled in mine as all my insecurities race from my heart and mind and out from between my lips. Long after I finish, we just ease further into our chair as she mulls over my words and they continue to resonate in the air around me.

A short time later, after our plane lands and we locate our limo. Slipping into our source of transportation, we travel across town to the hotel we're dwelling at during our stay. After checking in, we head up to our suite.

I shuffle to my room and lie back on the bed before I get up and walk across the room to retrieve my phone from my briefcase. Turning it on, I stare at the empty screen- no missed calls, no text messages, no new voicemails.

The suspicions about what could be occupying her time start to swirl around in my brain, weighing down my body as I can only assume what's holding her captive. I pace across the room, stopping occasionally to glance in the floor length mirror at myself, finding that all the worry, self-loathing, and anger is construing my face into a tortured piece of work. The love I hold for Bella is quickly becoming misplaced with resentment as I find it hard to believe that she could so callously chip away at the foundation of our relationship- honesty, devotion, and respect. Where are all those things? Had I not given everything to her?

I halt this line of thinking though, because it was me that gave her the space she needed to grow as a person. I told her she could do as she pleased. I permitted her to do this. _Me_.

I walk over to my suitcase, hauling it up from the floor, and toss it onto the bed in a fit of bitterness. Unzipping it hurriedly, I shuffle through the items I packed and start tossing them in drawers with more force than necessary, slamming them closed after it was filled. I walk over and grab the handle to the closet, feeling the cold metal under my grasp and twist it open. Staring at the emptiness of the space, I realizes that as much as my love for Bella imbues my system, I feel absolutely barren without her. My anger rises again, the metal bar of the closet hisses as I forcefully slide the hangers onto them. Backing out of the closet, I push my hands into the pocket of my trousers and gaze frigidly at the void that seems to be mocking me. I stumble back away from it, the back of my legs making contact with the edge of the bed, figuring if I succumbed to the pressure and calling of the darkness, I'd only feel more alone.

Rose walks into the room, sliding her finger across her PDA while rambling on about meetings and dinners before she takes in my distant temperament and stops short.

Throwing my weight behind me, I flop roughly to the soft mattress of the large bed, grinding my elbows into the skin above my knees as I grab at the ends of my hair, tugging at it aggressively to relieve some of the pain and pressure I feel in my chest. _God, it burns, my heart truly aching with each torturous pump._

I feel the bed shift alongside me as a soft hand comes up to soothe away the tension in my back. I peer sideways and take in Rose's poignant expression.

Grimacing, I softly whisper, "I don't need your pity, Rose."

Wrapping her arm around my back and sneaking the other between my elbows and my chest, she pulls my body against her as she hugs me firmly. I let my weight fall into her, part of my anxiety melting away as I feel tears threatening to break the barrier I'm fighting so hard to keep them behind.

Leaning deeper into her embrace, I mumble the only words that come to mind. "It's like she's on a train, bounding down the tracks, hurdling toward the destination which should be me, but the track has a split in it along the way. If she switches tracks and chooses him, then the train is going to collide with a force that I can't protect her against, and all will be lost. I know I'm the right choice for her, the side of the track that she should stay on. I know it with every single fiber of my being, but dammit, Rose, how do I tell her she's headed for the wrong station? How do I explain that her train is about to derail, and when it does, I won't be there to help rebuild it? How do I say pick me, be with me, don't do this to us, without pushing her away?"

As I haul myself out from between her arms, I brush away the stray tear that escaped my hold with my shoulder and whisper, "I just don't want to lose her. I don't want to demand that she never see him again, and then have both of them resent me. I don't want to drive her away." _I must look like a complete pussy right now. No wonder she wants him._

Rose jerks her body forward and steps directly in front of me, grabbing my chin in her hands, she lifts my face and stares into my eyes. "Quit being so fucking hard on yourself. Please. I don't think this is as big as your making it out to be."

I felt the rage bubble in my chest as a scorching heat runs rapid through my veins. I burst from the bed and tower over her, my jaw tight as my teeth gnash together. Once the heaviness of my anger mounts, I seethe, "Fucking quit being hard on myself, are you kidding me? My future wife is choosing to fuck your boyfriend right now, and not only am I standing aside and letting that shit happen, I went against my better wishes and listened to your advice. I told her that it was okay. I fucking _reassured_ her that_I_was okay."

As the tension twists its way through my body, my feet start pounding across the soft carpeting of the room as I begin to pace again, my temper causing my tempo to speed. And then I turn and march up to Rose again, my eyes fuming and my nostrils flaring as I stare down at her. My words roll passionately from out of my mouth at a dull roar, "I want you to tell me right now. Tell me you see what's going on, and tell me that you want them to stop just as much as I do. Tell me that you still have a decent ounce of humility left in your body and that you hate knowing they're having sex in our house right under our noses. FUCKING TELL ME!"

As she blanches against the brutality of my words, my tone weakens as my body folds in on itself with my burden and grief. "Just please tell me, tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me you see it, too."

I watch anxiously as Rose stands there looking at me with such sadness in her eyes, then she whispers almost inaudibly, "No, Edward, I don't. He will never want anyone but me."

I shove my finger into my hair and pull so hard that the pain in my head hurts more than the one in my chest. "Who's the blind one now, Rosalie Hale? If you can pick up your phone right now, call that man that loves you so damn much, and if he answers, I promise I'll retract every hurtful thing I've said, but I'm _not_ wrong."

She just stands there, her outward appearance collected as the fiddles with her bottom lip, much like Bella does when she's nervous about something.

To hell with being composed, I scream, "CALL HIM!"

She flinches and fumbles with her phone before she brings it to her ear in a rush.

Waiting.

Waiting.

More waiting.

My eyes sweep over her, as she dejectedly lowers her phone to her side, and snaps her eyes up to meet mine. Licking her lower lips, she speaks softly, "He didn't answer… but, but he could be preparing his stuff for his intro-meeting to the school next week. He has tons of work to do. Really."

She could sit here and name off every excuse known to man to cover for him, but I know why he isn't answering his phone. _My Bella._

I instantly go to work loosening my tie. I break out in a cold sweat as the feeling of suffocation works to take me over. As I struggle to reach the surface of sanity, I'm dying in the despair that the only thing I want more than life itself is slipping from my grasp, and I'm powerless to stop it.

Time. In time, I'll make her realize that what we have is special. I won't back down without a fight. I love her. She is _mine_.

Looking up, I offer Rosalie a half-hearted apology, stating that my words were out-of-line and overly harsh. She nods her acceptance, and tells me that if I need her she's on the other side of the suite. I thank her.

Moving to the bathroom, I turn on the water in the shower. I have to get ready, we have a meeting to attend in two hours and with my present frame of mind, I'm likely to damage the deal even though it should be solid. As the thick steam permeates the room, I lean forward and use my arm to wipe away a small window in the mirror. Looking into my own green eyes, I think back to the first day I met Bella. She had such an incorruptibility nature about her, pure virtue leaked from her pores.

Then I recollect the memories of me taking her to meet my parents for the first time. She was so nervous, but my mother and father immediately fell in love with her just as I had. Her radiant nature was infectious. Christ, I loved her beyond reason.

We used to walk aimlessly for hours, just talking about the present and our future, the kind of life we dreamed about having together. We leaned on each other for support and understanding, even more for guidance. There were those affectionate times when I held her in my arms after making love that she would tell me there would only be me for her, that I'd always be the only one.

Recalling the memory that changed it all, I went back to the day when she laid against my body in the grass of the park. I had taken her there because it was her favorite place to go on spring days, especially when all the flowers were starting to bloom and the newborns of various species were making their first journeys out into the world. That was also the day that I had invited Bella to move in with me, Rose, and Emmett. I did it on a whim, and had been ecstatic when she agreed, and relieved when I approached Emmett and Rose about it later and they gave their blessing. Of all the memories I held with Bella, this was the only one I wish I could change. I wish I could go back to that day and erase it. I would have waited and gotten my own apartment. Then I would have asked her to move in with me.

If I could transport us back in time, I'd take us back to the days when it was she and I against the world, when we breathed for each other, sustained one another, when we were just _us_.

Banging my fist against the marble counter of the sink, I quickly brush the tears away from my wet-stained cheeks and make a promise to myself. I will put everything I have into our relationship. I will make more of a conscious effort to let Bella realize what she means to me. If this relationship is doomed to fail, at least I can walk away knowing that the only reason it wasn't successful didn't have anything to do with me not giving it my all.

This is what I have to do. Too many words are being left unsaid, and it's pivotal that I correct that.

I have to find the old Bella, the one that only had eyes for me, and pull her back to the present. I need to make her believe in our future again.

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**A/N: So, I hope now that everyone's gotten a bit of a view inside Edward's brain, that you'll understand more about where he's been coming from and his state of mind. If you have any additional question, feel free to PM or review me, and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible. Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**To the reason for my existence, Rhiana (Live720), I can never express my gratitude enough for all the hard work you but in the managing my insecurities with my writing and myself. Thanks for always being my go-to person, that special shoulder to lean on and peruse more than I should. I wub ya!**

**Leisha, thanks for pimping my shizz & making it seem more awesome than it is. Jenn, your encouragement and kind words continue to warm my heart. Michelle (TC1), thanks for sharing your real life experiences with me, and making feel like my story is worthy of your kind praise. To the usual lovies, the PattinAngels, SOB bitches, and my BBR hoors, all my love.**

**Smooches, **

**Christina**


	12. Ch12: Fire Frenzies & Volcanic Eruptions

**Dearest readers, each of you complete me. To all the newbies, welcome. For all those that continue to review (or favorite & alert) I cherish each of your words, they are what usually carry me through to my next chapter. **

**Now, exciting news, while I was brainstorming for ideas *cough*procrastinating*cough,* I created a Polyvore account and went back through each chapter. Now you can actually visualize scenes and what their outfits were like in that chapter. All the links for them can be found in my profile. Chapter 12 is there as well.**

**Music Inspiration for this chapter is "Thing for You" by Hinder and "Sex Therapy" by Robin Thicke.**

_******_**Disclaimer:**_**** I do not own the rights to the music and all character names and references to "Twilight" belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. I'm just a lowly h00r trying to justify Bella grinding on Emmett… it's a tough job, but I like doing it.**_

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_Where we left off__**… In a pained mumble, he pleads, "Please don't ask me to stop."**_

"**Chapter 12: Fire Frenzies and Volcanic Eruptions"**

_**EmPOV**_

While I gently cradle her face in my hands, her long, brown waves tangle around my fingers and drip along my forearms, brushing against them lightly as the soft tresses tickle the surface of my skin. My mouth stays inches away from her lips while I pause for her answer, each excruciating second causing my heart rate to gain momentum. The only mark of time I have is it's steady and brutal beating as the inclination of my accelerated breathing causes my body to collide with hers as I wait.

_Heartbeat._

I watch anxiously as her eyebrows scrunch together above her closed lids, her lashes skittering softly along the top of her cheeks, as her mind is obviously wavering between her options before she makes her choice. I suppose for me, my answer had been made up the moment I chose to reach out to her while her boyfriend held her in his arms on our couch. Upon closing my eyes last night, I dreamed exclusively of taking her against my body and of her taking my body in to hers.

_Heartbeat._

I lick my lips with anticipation as she gnaws unreservedly on her lower lip, pulling the crimson flesh into her mouth and releasing it before repeating her actions. I survey her neck as it strains against her quick swallows, the shallow rise and fall of her chest tormenting me as the swells of her breasts peak out from beneath her pink top. All I can think about is how bad I want her… how much I've craved the silk of her skin below my fingertips.

_Heartbeat._

Finally, with an exaggerated sigh, her eyes flutter open and I'm acutely aware of the desolate magnitude of defeat that's swimming in them, the cold darkness swirling with her usual gentle hue of brown warmth. Immediately the hurt cripples my limbs, my heart plummets to my stomach with an echoing thud, and my stomach launches up into my throat with sheer force. _She doesn't… want…me._

_Heartbeat._

My hand drops away from her hair quickly as if her rejection actually burns me and I try to swallow against the huge lump that abruptly forms in my esophagus. With each breath, the debilitating blow causes my body to feel like it's tearing apart from the inside out. It's at this point in time when I realize that Bella means more to me than what I thought. While panic and fear surge throughout my frame, I realize her refusal cuts me deeper than any knife ever could, shredding me to pieces with unspoken words. I back away from her with sluggish steps, my limbs crumbling with the harsh blow, as my heart pounds harder in my chest. Each beat is demanding her touch. Every agonizing pump is a painful reminder of how much it's going to hurt to lose something I never even had.

_Heartbeat._

As I stand a few inches away from her, the merger amount of space my body allows me to maneuver in my broken state-of-mind, her words float on the air to me at just above a whisper. "If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly in those moments."

_Heartbeat._

Looking down at her, I'm puzzled by the meaning of her statement, so I just stare at her, longing for her touch. The small distance between our bodies is only a memento of how close she always is, but furthermore, how close she continuously isn't.

_Heartbeat._

The tension mounts between us as reticent minutes tick away, the air between us crackling like the wick of a slow-burning candle, waiting to be engulfed or to completely die out.

_Heartbeat._

Unable to bear the stifling silence any longer, I question worriedly, "What do you mean?"

_I guess it's my masochistic nature that needs to hear that she's done with me, ready to get rid of the idea of what we are together-- not that _I_ even know what _we_ are together._

Directing my eyes away from her face to avoid showing my calamitous pain, I stare fretfully at my trembling hands as they fidget nervously in front of me. Unexpectedly, I'm met with the heat of her body as she takes my hands and unclasps them. Situating her tiny frame in between my arms, she pulls them around her body and secures my hands at the small of her back. I curiously angle my head so that my eyes can watch as she languidly glides her fingers up my chest and over my shoulders, my skin burning under her soft touch before she finally fastens them at the nape of my neck. Pulling her eyes up to meet mine, she licks her plump lips and softly says, "It means I want you to kiss me."

My body relaxes infinitivally as I understand that everything I was thinking is wrong, the defeat in her eyes wasn't her giving _up_ on me, it was her giving _in_ to me. I can't stop the laughter that bubbles out of my chest as my heart explodes against my sternum. _She wants me. _

Enclosing my arms tighter around her body, I tug her closer to me as I lean down, both of us smiling into a chaste kiss as the corner of our mouths curve against each other. Affectionately placing my lips on hers, I feel the anxious energy melt away as my mind becomes consumed by the feel of her smooth lips on mine, the delicate convergence of our mouths causing a buzzing sensation all over my body. Pulling my mouth away from hers, I heave her body up over mine, my shoulders rolling thickly as I pick her tiny frame off the floor without effort, never separating our connection. She squeals at the initial jerk and starts to giggle as she swings her dangling feet from left to right, folding her arms firmly behind my neck. Easing my face down to meet her, I press my mouth to her lips once again, the shrill of her laughter dying the moment our tongues intertwine.

As time progresses, the tender sweeps of our tongues quickly evolve into fevered attacks of each other's mouths, fused with passion, relentlessly launching ourselves fervidly into one another. Her hands are hyperactive as they run along my shoulders, dig roughly into my scalp, and glide amorously along my cheeks and neck causing every cell of my body to awaken with her touch. My actions overtly imitate hers as I struggle to be everywhere at once, my fingers desperately grasping at all the ample curves of her body, while I strain to silence my eager anticipation in hopes of prolonging our time together.

I move our fused frames toward the island in the kitchen as our tongues continue to stroke one another and we share winded breaths. Once her back connects with the hard, granite slab behind her, she bows over the solid covering as I assault her neck, tiny whimpers permeating the air around me as I work over the space of her neckline and nibble along her collarbone. The taste of her skin causes my mouth to salivate, each taste bud exploding with satisfaction. As I continue to smooth my mouth enthusiastically over her skin, I lower my lips down to the top of her tank. On impulse, my lips pull back to expose my teeth and nip at the swell of her right breast when her labored breaths causes it to rise out of her shirt.

Instantaneously, a cross between a moan and a libidinous scream reverberates in kitchen area and it goes straight to my cock, causing it to harden further with her seductive tone. The erotic sound hums in my ears and without a doubt, my eardrum has an orgasm at the sheer sensuality of it, the primal resonance causing my skin to flame. With swift movements, she pushes away from me and jumps on top of the counter, swiveling her lithe body around to face me. Wrapping her calf around my hamstrings, she ushers me forward with her foot as a shiver runs up the length of my spine and my stomach churns with an overwhelming warmth. Once I'm within range, her hands hook under the hem of my shirt as she begins hauling it over the top of my head, tossing it to the floor subsequently. Her quivering fingers anxiously pop the button on my jeans and reach for my zipper as I watch in awe at her feverish actions. My heart rate spikes as she eagerly unzips my pants and starts pushing the denim down my legs with impatience, her fingernails dragging along my thigh, causing me to automatically shiver, while I stand in front of her motionless- too speechless to say anything, too overcome with excitement to move. Unable to reach any further, she raises her hooded eyes to meet mine, her breathing coming out in spurts as she shrieks, "Come on, dammit, get them off!"

My lethargic brain finally catches up to her demand, and I hurriedly work the denim material down the rest of my legs, hobbling on my right foot while I pull the jeans off of my left. Stepping out of them, I kick them across the room, the dark-wash fabric landing with a thump against the wall. We mutually attack her shirt, our fingers tangling and slapping at one another, as we both struggle to get rid of the interfering cloth. Pulling it over her head with one arm, she wraps her free hand around the back of my head and lowers it expeditiously to her lacy, satin-covered breast. I comply easily, overeager to taste and touch her skin. Yanking the cup of her bra out of the way, I lay siege to her breast, readily sucking her nipple into my mouth as she tugs almost painfully on the ends of my hair, the pleasure of it causing a growl to rumble from deep within the cavity of my chest. Her skin breaks out in goosebumps while she moans softly, the sound is teasing as she lets out a shuddering breath that winds through my hair. I wrap my arm around her back and briskly shift her from her current position on the counter so that she's situated closer to me, allowing me to have better access to her body. My dick strains rigidly against the thin cotton of my boxerbriefs while I lap at her breasts, fondling them roughly in my hands while Bella writhes against the open air, pleading with me to take her.

Dropping my mouth and hands from her chest, I compulsorily grab under each of her knees and slide her to the edge of the island top, my breath catching momentarily in my throat as her warm center makes brief contact with the head of my cock. Stepping away from her, I vehemently work her yoga pants and underwear down the length of her smooth legs, chucking the garments across the room, not really caring where they land. Licking my lips as I stare down at her, open and bare before me, a fire frenzy pulses furiously through my veins as she scrambles to sit her body up, placing her hands on the surface of the counter while nodding her head, drawing me forward by curving her pointer finger repeatedly. Dropping my briefs, I walk up to the edge of the counter and spread her legs wider as I hedge my body in between each of her lean thighs.

Taking my dick in my hands, I languorously run the tip of it between her slit, rubbing it against her clit down to her entrance as she purrs and drops down to her elbows hastily, closing her eyes as she leans her head back. Her hair rains down behind her and swirls on the countertop below her.

In one swift thrust, I impel her completely, and her head snaps up, her desire-ridden eyes in search of mine as we both gasp and call out to each other with a slur of profanities.

"Fuck, you're so damn tight and… fuck," I manage to grind between my clenched teeth, my voice gravelly and hoarse, even to me. I immediately still my actions because I'm so close to coming, even the smallest of thrusts is going to send me into an inevitable spiral of bliss.

She responds by arching her back, curving it significantly as her tits press into the open air. Her nipples provoke me as they pebble against the chill that's currently circuiting throughout her body as she slowly grinds herself against me, moaning and begging for me to move within her.

"Sweet girl, you might not want to keep doing that or this little journey is going to be over before I ever get the engine started," I say with a hint of laughter, trying to deflect how exquisite it feels for her to be panting and rubbing herself on my cock.

Her eyes flutter closed and then open slightly as she bites her bottom lip before releasing it while cooing, "Again, Emmett. Give it to me again just like that."

The way my name drips from her lips, my knees become weak. I want to hear her say it over and over. Taking a deep breath, I pull out completely before I slam into her again.

"Ho-ly… fuuuck," she sighs, drawing out the syllables of each word. Her use of "fuck" gets me more than heated, and I become needy and crave her body inexplicably more.

Continuing with my efforts, it becomes a game of powerful thrusts and absolute withdrawals, each round causing expletives to roll from our lips and the smell of sex to saturate the air. Grunts and whimpers resonate in the apartment as my head sags forward, my arms shaking as I dig my palms into the top her hips, keeping her grounded against me as I push heavily into her with her knees hooked over the top of my forearms. She meets me just as strongly with thrusts of her own, digging her nails deep in the skin of my arms as she drags me back against her body, shouting out how good it feels, how much more she wants, how she never wants me to stop. The harsh and heady slapping of our movements causes the blaze to build and ignite within our bodies, our zealous plunges seeking out the foreseeable burst of pleasure as we push our bodies to the brink of ecstasy .

With a roar and one final plunge, we both fall over in a wash of rapture. Shards of multi-colored light pass behind my closed eyes as a definitive pleasure passes throughout my body, making my toes curl and my dick throb inside of her. Laying my cheek on her bare, glistening stomach, I listen as her heart pounds relentlessly in her chest, and feel her trembling fingers work their way into my sweaty tresses. Curling them around her fingertips, we lay in silence, our heavy panting the only sound in the comfortable stillness of the room.

After my breathing returns to relatively normal, I roll my head to the side. I plant an innocent kiss above her bellybutton before I rest my chin on the same spot my lips just touched. Looking up through the valley that rests between her breasts, I smile widely and murmur, "Told you I wanted you on this counter. I knew it'd only be a matter of timing."

Her chuckles immediately sound as I watch her breasts bounce with the force of her laughter, her stomach rolling beneath my chin as I stare at her in amazement. Leaning up on her elbows, she places her hands under my chin and pulls my face up to join hers. Gently kissing my lips, she grins while rolling her eyes, "You really can be an ass sometimes."

Scooping her up, I gather her in my arms and relocate us to the living room couch. Snatching the fleece throw-blanket from the armrest of the furniture, I settle us down into the plush, white leather and cover us up as I snuggle her against my chest. Content with her weight lying on top of me, I faintly kiss the top of her head and begin rubbing my hand up and down her bare back as she settles effortlessly against me. With her fist curled under her chin, she closes her eyes and rests her head over my heart. Within minutes, I notice her soft snores and close my eyes, the heaviness of my lids overpowering my need to never take my eyes off of her.

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I awake some time later because of a loud vibrating noise buzzing somewhere near me, but its locality remains unknown as I twist my head in pursuit of it. Rousing Bella in my attempts to search for the source of screeching racket, I feel her stretch above me, her toes brushing against the top of my shins as her arms reach out above my head. Capturing her hands in mine, I kiss along her slender arms before I drag her body upward. Her soft breasts lay against my chest, her face inches from mine as I stare longingly into her kindhearted eyes. Tucking a stray lock behind her ear, I dislocate the lip she has sandwiched between her teeth with my thumb and pull her face down to mine, welcoming her tongue between my solicitous lips. The familiar, low pulsation builds as the heat in the core of my body works to take control of my actions.

My hands fall from her face and work down the slope of her back, a tingle shooting through me as she shivers against my chest and purrs into my mouth. Placing both of my hands on her ass, I squeeze it assertively before I push her warm center against my aching hard-on. She whimpers just before one corner of her lips pulls up into a mischievous smirk. Affixing both of her hands on top of my pectoral muscles, she backs away from my mouth and sits up to where she's straddling me. _Hell yeah, I like where this is going._

She writhes above me in one unhurried, fluid motion, sliding her slick heat over my length from base to tip and then stops. Licking her lips, she scratches her nails over my chest and down the ridges in my abdomen, drawing her fingers down the groove of the indention by my hips, and then traces the route back up to the previous perch on my chest. I distinguish how every muscle reacts to her touch, rolling in tides as each one rises to meet her skin, all of them coming alive and coveting her caresses. Then she leans down over me, her advancement desisting a mere centimeter or two before her lips touch mine. In a raspy voice, she whispers against my lips, "Can we try something?"

I look fervently into her eyes as they bounce with excitement, stating, "Anything. You want it, it's yours."

I watch as her vision briefly navigates away from my face as she looks over my head at nothing in particular. Her breathing pushes her tits against my chest, making my brain cloud over with desire, while she pulls her top lip in her mouth and under her bottom teeth, mulling over her own question. Lowering her eyes back to mine, I watch as the stunning rose tint creeps along her cheeks and I find myself smiling in the fact that she can be grinding on top of me blatantly nude, yet can blush about a question. A soft smile tugs at the corner of her lips as I try to guess at what her inquiry could be before she stands up.

_Hmmm?_

Then I watch as she struts to the end of the couch, turns away from me, places her knees on the cushions, and leans over the armrest, the luscious curve of her ass an inviting display of "_Please tap this." Holy. Mother. Of. Fuck._

Looking over her shoulder, her apprehensive eyes meet mine and then she smiles sweetly. "I was thinking… that maybe… you'd like to try it like this?" Her face flushes even further as her eyes shift momentarily to the floor before they flicker back in my direction, nervousness skirting around the edges, curiosity and wonderment causing them to sparkle in the warm light of the room.

"Are you kidding me, I'm about to nut all over myself just thinking about it?" I choke out in a rush. Then the phrase catches up with my brain and I look away from her eyes, blushing at my overeager choice of wording. "Um, is it too late to take back what I just said so I don't sound like a pre-pubescent, hormone-driven, little asshole?"

I watch as her shoulders rise and fall with her silent laughter, her hair becoming a tousled chestnut curtain while the middle of her back dips low toward the soft padding of the couch. Her hair splays across the delicate contours of her back as her muscles roll with the quiet chuckles. My body starts moving on autopilot, and I find myself shifting across the achromic material toward her. Planting my left foot on the soft carpet of the rug beneath the couch to steady myself, I reach up to stroke the smooth swell of her ass. She startles marginally at the unexpected contact but then rests her head over her folded arms, sighing contentedly, as I let my fingers explore all the grooves of her back, her skin like silk under my rough hands as I glide my fingertips along the length of her spine. Her skin rises to meet me and pebbles up in a trail behind my touch as low purrs originate from her parted lips. She hums in response to my hands on her body, encouraging me to continue as I stroke her flesh.

Letting my hands drop to her knees, my palms travel up the toned muscle of her thighs, kneading them gently until I brush them lightly over her ass and grip her hips. Aligning myself with her center, I push into her slowly as she wraps around me tightly, wet and hot- encompassing me. My reverberating moan passes over her back, the coolness causing her to shiver and take me in deeper, both of us cursing as my legs meet the firm, but supple skin of her ass. I set a steady pace as I push back and forth within her heat, clamping my hands tightly on her hips, using them to steer my actions as I pump into her. With a steady rhythm, she starts pressing herself back against me, pulling my dick deeper in her, our breaths becoming heavier as we pant and groan and thrust and whimper. Gathering speed, I reach forward instinctively and twist her long waves around my wrist, tugging gently in harmonious time with the pace of my plunges.

Her body spurs to action as she bends her back deeper, pushing forcefully against me as I drive into her harder and harder. My pulse is doing triple time in my body as the scorching heat of my blood races through my muscles, my joints protesting the longevity of our time together. The sphere of energy continues to develop, the pressure gathering force as it churns and gathers strength with each thrust into her. The urgency of my release stirring within me is equivalent to that of a volcano, the lava gathering in the pit of my stomach, the tension of the pleasure causing the force to strengthen and surge throughout all the appendages in my trembling torso.

I'm spellbound by her repetitive motions, captivated by her alluring tenor as she chants my name rapaciously while she pushes forcefully against me. I'm consumed by the air she breathes. Looking down at her, I watch as a single bead of sweat glistens and slides down her flesh, hugging closely to the curve of her backbone and licking at her flesh as my glistening cock slips in and out of her. Dropping her hair, I lean over her back and wrap my arms around her body, slowing the tempo as I'm engulfed by her presence, swayed by the thick wanton emotion of desire in the atmosphere.

She regulates her cadence so that she writhes in time with me, our bodies in perfect sync and deliciously entangled. She places her hands inside of my palms, turning her face sideways to capture her lips with mine, our tongues desperately seeking out the solace of each other. Breathing huskily, I thrust in smooth strides, this position allowing me to penetrate deeper. Her eyes become glassy as she watches me move above her, indiscernible emotion floating along the surface of them. Running my cheek along her shoulders, I brush her hair dampened with sweat to the side with my chin, placing a tender kiss on the side of her neck, tasting the salty sweet confection of her body on my tongue.

Feeling complete as I lay atop her body, this all-embracing contingency melts our frames together and I feel at peace in the moment. Showering kisses over her neck, shoulder, and back, I let the present lead my words as I mouth inaudibly against her skin, "I want you… forever." With my heart racing and the pressure escalating to the edge of explosion, I close my eyes and drop one of my hands to her clit, circling it with my thumb as I whisper into her ear, "Come for me, Bella."

I can feel her release as she clenches around me, crying out loudly as her eyes compress together tightly. Gasping, she takes in shallow breaths as she grips my hand tightly. Reaching her arm above and behind her, she clutches at my neck roughly, riding out the waves of her orgasm as it overtakes her body. The close link of our frames causes the volcano to erupt as I grunt and bite into the thick skin by her neck, causing her to detonate again. She scrapes her nails into the skin at the base of my neckline, gathering my flesh as she strains to stay rooted against me. The magma-hot fluid spills over my body, liquefying my internal organs as I fall limply above her, my limbs too exhausted to hold me up.

Eventually, I roll off of her and land on the floor with a prompt thud. The force of my fall causes a loud gush of air to spew from between my lips as the picture frames jingle on the shelves. Laughing to myself, I look up to see Bella leaning over the edge of the couch and smiling at me.

I sigh exaltedly, "I'm so fucking spent."

She giggles lightly and says, "Me too. I'm going to go… um, clean up."

I nod my head and throw my arm over my face, then question, "You want me to join you?"

When I'm met with silence, I peer out from below my arm and quirk my brow. She bites her lip and slowly shakes her head "no," tacking on a "…but you can order us some food if you don't mind."

We agree on Chinese and I watch as she lifts herself from the couch, smiling down at me before she turns to walk briskly to the kitchen. Picking up her discarded clothing, she hurries into the hallway and disappears from my sight.

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Later on in the evening, after we've eaten and watched television huddled on the couch together, I carry her sleeping form to my bed. Pulling back the covers, I arrange her limbs on my side of the bed and crawl in behind her. Rolling over, I quickly grab my phone from the bedside table and see two missed calls. Figuring they're from Rose, I decide I'll call her first thing in the morning and fold my arms around Bella, welcoming the undulated sleep as it overpowers my eyes.

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**A/N:** **Okay, I'm going to be honest. I've been holding this chapter hostage for a good week now. I've wrote and rewrote, reworked, revised, deleted, revamped, deleted again. I've come to the conclusion that I'm never going to have it like I want it, and it's unfair for me to keep you in suspense, especially if I wasn't gaining any leeway with its quality. If you feel it's crap, I truly apologize. I'm honestly expecting some flames this chapter. I'm a strong girl, be honest.**

**My usual love to my wifey, best friend, fic counterpart, virtual soul mate, Rhi (Live720). Thanks for doing what you do and being who you are. I adore you. **

**To the usual lovies, the PattinAngels, SOB bitches, and my BBR hoors, all my love.**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	13. Chpt 13: Fleeting Thoughts, Fleeing Body

**And…I'm back. Sorry for such a long break. My entire family had the flu… at separate times. Plus, Bella and I've went back and forth a lot in this chapter. I mean, really argued. Conclusion, that bitch won. Thanks for all of you that continue to review, favorite, and alert. My heart is full of fuzzies just because of you.**

**Outfits for this chapter are in my profile.**

**Musical inspiration for this chapter- "Someday" by Rob Thomas.**

*****Disclaimer**:*** _The music, settings, character names, and the like all belong to their respective owners. I borrow it, twist it around, make some of it do what I want, but I in no way claim ownership of what is rightfully theirs. _**No copyright infringement intended.**

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"**Chapter 13: Fleeting Thoughts, Fleeing Body"**

_**BPOV**_

I try to blink against heavy lids, attempting to drag them open, but they feel so weighted, and I'm warm. So very warm. I wrap the covers tighter around my body, the soft sheet melting against my skin as I snuggle further in the embrace of someone cozy, firm, and warm-blooded. A lazy, lopsided grin spreads across my sleepy face as I inhale through my nose, Ed- not _Edward._

My eyes fly open warily and shoot directly down to the rough knuckles and large hands engulfing my tiny frame as diminutive goosebumps raise along the top of my skin. Now alert, my eyes flash across the room, taking in the different decor- not my room, _his. _Not my bed, _his. _I hold my breath for a few seconds when my brain synapses finally start working, recollections of yesterday afternoon fire and rocket around my brain- twisted bodies, moaning, pleasure… _really intense pleasure. _

_Stupid._

I immediately blink back the tears that try to fight their way to the surface as my chest constricts with shame over my next course of action. Now isn't the time to become unnerved because of my previous transgressions or the ones I'm about to commit. I breathe deeply for a few discordant beats of my heart as I try to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do now as my gaze lowers to Emmett's firm grip. With trembling fingers, I unclasp his hands and slide them away from my body, instantly missing the way they held me so powerfully in their grasp. Wedging my torso out from between his burly arms, I roll as quietly from the bed as possible, my feet landing solidly on the floor with a muted thud.

My skin immediately chills with the loss of his body heat, and my teeth begin to silently chatter as my eyes scan across the path to my exit. Tiptoeing transversely over the floorboards, I reach the door rather quickly and wrench it open with a slight _click_. Pausing, I turn back to look at his massive torso spread across the mattress. His head is buried in his pillow, the soft curls of his hair plastering to his temples with sweat while the upper portion of his body is left exposed by the sheet draped pleasurably along the line of his hips. Immediately a sense of yearning stuns my body and an indistinguishable feeling roots itself in the pit of my stomach. I desire nothing more than to do as I had yesterday, abandon my sense of self and my duty to Edward, and rejoin him in the bed.

_Wrong._

Stepping into the hall, I quickly, yet inaudibly, shuffle my naked frame the short distance to the bedroom and throw my door open. Stepping inside my room, my body starts moving on its own volition because of an instinctive flight reflex, and I run directly to my closet. Once inside, I grab my suitcase slash duffle bag and step back in the room, tossing it on the bed with the flip of my wrist. Pulling open drawers, I quickly toss on my panties and bra, then a pair of plaid lounge shorts and a blue tee. Sliding open other dresser spaces, I rush to cram suitable and reasonably matching outfits in to my bag. Skirting around the bedroom and bathroom, I grab all the items I'll need for a weekend getaway, and toss them haphazardly into the travel case. There's no time for rationalization or organization, I'm in a rush. My body is moving on impulse and pure panic.

I step back into the closet and toss on a hoodie and my grey Uggs. Accidentally stumbling, I bump into the wall and hold my breath as I wait for Emmett to come charging in my room, demanding an explanation. I know I won't have one for him. Refusing to take the time to look in the mirror, I reason the probability of me even matching. _Boots, shorts, and a sweatshirt- go figure?_ I suspect my outfit will draw a few wayward glances at the airport, and normally I like to stay out of the limelight, but at this second, I can't bring myself to care. Zipping up my jacket, I dash out of the room.

I slow my pace as I shuffle by his door, letting my fingertips linger forlornly on the doorknob, but continue past it with minimal focus on who is sleeping on the other side of it. Striding into the living room, I look at the couch and then the counter, the images and memories of time spent with him yesterday assaulting me instantaneously. Shaking my head, I decide to dwell on it later and reach in the key bowl, fishing out my keys, cell, and iPod. Walking briskly to the door, I twist it open. Turning around, I catch a fleeting glimpse of the front quadrant of my home in the blink of an eye. I sigh deeply, and pull the door closed behind me before my feet begin moving again. Scurrying down the short hall, I hold on to the guardrail as I attempt to take a few steps at a time and not fall flat on my face. _Yeah, that could severely hinder my escape possibility. _

Guilty now, I settle myself inside my truck, my breaths coming out in fatigued pants from the exertion of the fast pace from running to my vehicle. Turning the key with shaky fingers, the loud engine roars to life and I say a silent 'thank you' that the ancient monstrosity decided to live another day. Pulling away from the parking lot, I glance back up at the building through my review mirror, feeling horrid that I'm too much of a coward to even mutter a goodbye, too ashamed that I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. Instead, I'm only fleeing.

There's this sense that I need to do this for myself and for _him_. _Which _him _at the moment is irrelevant. _I feel a sense of purpose, this innate logic for me take myself out of the equation, away from this place, and away from everyone that has made my life complicated recently.

_I just need to think for a while, on my own and miles away from here._

Driving in the slow lane, even with the gas pedal to the floor, my engine roars and sputters as I burrow through traffic. I quickly speed dial Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, checking on garage parking availability. _A perk to Edward traveling so much, the airport number is programmed in my phone._

Luckily, considering it's the weekend and the airport is busy, there is adequate openings in the garage. Ending the call, I'm startled when my phone begins to ring inside my hand. Gasp involuntarily, I observe the name blinking on the screen and inwardly cringe. _Emmett. _

My finger reflexively stabs at the 'Silence' button before I instinctively toss the phone to the passenger seat like it's a hot lump of coal. The ringtone disengages for a few seconds before the device starts vibrating against the seat with another call. I guardedly chew on my lip until the metallic and salty taste of blood coats my tongue, and I have to fight back the rise of bile that slithers up my throat. Another round of silence emerges and my stomach churns with the barrenness of it. Another second later, the phone is chiming, buzzing furiously against the seat as I gaze anxiously between it and the road, Emmett's name dancing brightly against the display screen. As unease ghosts across my chilled skin, I wrap my hands tightly around the steering wheel, insisting in my mind that my hands are too occupied with driving, and there's no possible way I can answer the phone at this moment.

The vibrations and chirping are unrelenting, a symphonic arrangement of cadent notes and brief silences as my truck rumbles down the paved road. Each round of noise is swarming with sound to garner my attention as I stare with renewed and invigorated purpose on the road. Adamantly thinking to myself that if I stay attuned to the asphalt and other vehicles, the noise will permanently disappear. Finally, the whining blare subsides, and I hesitantly grab my cell from the seat. _Thirteen missed calls- ignore. Six voicemails-ignore. Nine texts messages-ignore. God, I'm such a shitty person._

Exhaling quickly, I dial a number and hold the phone up to my ear, my breath catching in my throat as each ring sounds through the phone until it clicks over.

"Hello, you've reached the home of Renee and Charlie Swan. We're unable to come to the phone right now, so leave us a message. Charlie, tell them to have a good day," my mother's voice pilfers through to my ear. A giggle escapes me at the crazy antics of my mom, and then it registers how much I've missed just hearing her voice.

Then dad's intonation comes across the line grumbling, "Yeah, we're not here, have a good day." A small smile reflects on my face just listening to them.

_But fuck, they aren't home. So far, operation avoidance is a monstrous fail._

"Mom…Dad, it's Bella. I was just-" I began to say before a shuffling comes across the other line, halting my words mid-sentence.

"BELLS, HONEY, IS IT REALLY YOU?" my mother questions exuberantly.

"Good Lord, Mom. Yeah, it's me," I answer, chortling at the volume of which she chooses to speak, proceeded by the immediate pull of the phone away from my ear as a shrill scream echoes from the earpiece.

Laughing, I hear her talking animatedly to my dad, "Oh, Charlie, it's Bella. Our baby is on the phone!" _I'll never be more than a chubby toddler in her eyes._

My mother's boisterous statement is then followed by a few grunts from my dad stating, "Well hell, Renee, don't you think you should talk to _her_?"

I sigh, feeling light because of the quibbling of my parents, and briefly wonder what it would feel like to be in love for so many years and having everyday arguments. _I doubt Edward would ever disagree with me._

It's at this point that my mother focuses on pouring all her energy into our conversation. Her voice travels effortlessly over the phone, and I have to bite back a fresh round of chuckles as she goes on and on about her latest projects of painting nude models at a new art studio down at the university. _I can only imagine._

"So, honey, what did your good ole mom do to receive such an unexpected phone call?" she questions with an authoritative, yet curious tone.

"What, I can't call just for the sake of calling?" I ask in return, a tinge of ambiguity lacing my statement.

"Well, if it were anyone else, then _yes_, but _you_, my dear, always have a _reason_ for calling. So, what do you need?" she inquires.

I huff exasperatedly, because apparently I'm a shitty child too, and promise myself I'll do a better job of calling her. "I… uh, I need Daddy to come pick me up at the… at the _airport_," I finally state, anxiety raising the tone of my voice an octave.

"The airport, huh? What have you done, young lady?" she pushes, and I start to get a little aggravated as I approach the turnoff for the Austin-Bergstrom International.

"Look, I'm about to purchase a ticket, get on a plane, and fly to Phoenix. Just make sure you or Dad is there to pick me up when I land. It'll be somewhere around three hours from now. I love you," I state, hanging up without giving her a chance to reply. If I would have allowed her the option of further questioning, we would have been on the phone for hours.

Within a matter of minutes, I'm placing my garage ticket against the glass of the windshield and vacating my truck. Pulling my suitcase behind me, I hustle to the shuttle that can transport me to the airport a hell of a lot quicker than my stumbling.

Once there, I approach the desk and ask for the first available flight to Phoenix. For once, luck decides to grace me with its presence. There's a flight leaving in twenty minutes. I run to check in my small amount of luggage and hurry to the appropriate gate.

Waiting in a chair, I look down as my phone beeps, signaling a low battery. After a quick rummage through my small carry-on, I realize that I forgot my charger, and infuriatingly run my hand through my knotted tresses.

Situating the phone in my hands, I swiftly type out two messages.

**Edward, flying 2 Phoenix 2 see the 'rents. 4got charger, phone is dying. Call there if u need me.**

_Send._

**Emmett, I'm sorry. I'm safe. We can't do this anymore.**

My finger wavers over the send button as I blatantly identify myself as a dastard for the billionth time today, and it's only early morning. I'm sure I'll have a few more choice words for myself when I'm alone later and thinking, especially as my throat tightens and fresh tears sting against my eyes. Closing my lids and exhaling a large breath, I press send, immediately turning off my phone and stashing it in my purse.

Soon after, my flight is asked to board and I do so. Settling in my seat, I push the buds in my ear, fasten my seatbelt, and let the music fill my head. Glancing out the window, I let my fears and speculations run rampant in my mind.

* * *

Pulling up to the house, I get out of my dad's police cruiser as I stare at the home I grew up in as a child. I take a deep breath, reveling in the dry heat as it works it's way over the expanse of my skin, heating my body and bringing my mind the peace only being at home can afford me. I rejoice inwardly with my decision to return home, even if the reason that provoked such an action is unwarranted.

Turning around, I stare up at my dad with a daughterly smile on my face as he pulls my luggage from the trunk and lowers the hatch. Walking the short distance to me, he throws his arm around my shoulder, tugging me into his side and I lean against him, taking in the scent of the man I've always adored, _my leading man_. Leaning down, he whispers in to my hair, "Good to have you home, Bells."

Gazing into his large brown eyes, my face warms with his glorification and I smile. "It's good to _be_ home, Dad."

In an instant, the door is flying open and an overjoyed Renee knocks me backwards with the velocity of her moment. She starts attacking my small body with kisses, peppering them along my cheeks, nose, and forehead. "Oh sweet baby girl, I can't believe you're home!" she exclaims, crushing my ribs with the force of her hug. I enfold my arms around her in return, telling her it's only been four or five months since she's seen me last.

Admonished by my excuse, she scolds, "I'm sorry, little girl, but it has in fact been almost nine months." _I'm not a little girl _I politely refute in my mind.

I slowly count back the months on my fingers and scowl with the realization that she's correct. "Sorry, Mom, I'll do better," I promise, offering her a weak smile. As she pushes the spiraling tendrils away from my forehead, her eyes sparkle as she grins brightly back at me.

"Well, no time to cry over spilled milk, let's get you in the house," she says wistfully, pulling my arm as she hauls me up the steps to the porch. Turning slightly, she calls over her shoulder, "And Charlie, don't drag your ass getting her stuff in the house. I'm sure she wants to get a bath."

"Mom…" I huff, letting my tone trail off like a toddler as I walk through the door to the living room.

I watch as Charlie brushes past me to climb the stairs, taking my bag up to my old room. Rooted in my spot inches inside the front door, I peer around the small space. It's amazing how all the twenty years of remembering this home, I've only known it to be as it is at this moment. Unwavering and simplistic, even with my mom's excessive need for change, this house has always looked and felt as it does right now. I know that if I walk further in the living room, dad's cap will be sitting on the coffee table next to the television remote with his empty coaster waiting to hold his beer. I know that if I travel the short space of the hall, I'll find all my grade school pictures and awards displayed proudly on the wall. In a weird way, being at this house reminds me of Emmett and how he's always been there, my constant in Edward's crazy life of business travels and meetings. Halting that thought immediately, I walk the hallway to the stairs and cringe as I pass my pictures from junior high.

Sighing, I start the journey to my room, avoiding the fifth stair up because I always hated how it screeched when too much pressure was put on it. I open the door to my room and laugh loudly, remembering how Edward and Emmett teased me at Thanksgiving because of my N'Sync and Backstreet Boys posters on my wall. I specifically recall arguing that the boy-bands' music was _monumental_ and that they'd _always be iconic in my teeny-bopper heart_.

Taking off my boots, I kick them to the side as the soft carpeting runs between my toes on the way to the bed. I throw myself on to the mattress, relishing in the soft feel of the comforter against my cheek as I breathe in the scents of adolescence. A soft smile temporarily lifts the crook of my lip with thoughts of Barbie dolls, PlayDough, and my most prized possession, "The Baby-Sitter Club" book series. _Ah, the price I'd pay to be able to leave behind the worries of my complicated present and submerge myself in the days of crushes and mud pies._ I wonder momentarily what Emmett would have been like as a child, someone as vivacious as he is now was sure to have been a handful when he was a younger hellion.

Shaking my head, I again pull myself away from my reflections and inner ramblings, and stand from the bed, not quite ready to venture down _that_ particular road yet. Picking up my suitcase, I dig through the clothes to find something to wear.

A knock sounds from the door, and I turn toward it yelling a reply. "Come in."

Charlie pokes his head around the door and declares, "Um, Bells, your mother invited some guests over earlier and they'll be joining us for dinner."

I nod my head as my eyebrows scrunch together, questioning, "Anyone I know?"

"Lord, I don't know. I think she met them at her nudey college thing," he answers, a smile spreading across his face, middle-aged wrinkles causing his eyes to crinkle at their corners.

Following his response, he disappears behind the door and I get back to the task of selecting an outfit. Carrying my things to the bathroom, I turn on the water, letting the steam fill the room before I step under the spray. The warm water streams down my body and with my eyes closed, it almost feels the way Emmett's hands had when he let them drift across my skin, heated and attentive. I bite my lip as I remember the way he made me pant, beg, and whimper. My heart aches in my chest as I reach down to grip the soap dish. Prying my eyes open, I decide not deliberate these thoughts any longer. _Not just yet._

Huffing, I make quick work of shampooing and conditioning my hair to keep my idle brain from reflecting. I prefer to be locked away in the solitude of my room by my lonesome when I finally succumb to my errant thoughts and the reason I ran away.

After dressing and running a comb through my dampened locks, I walk downstairs to find my mother hastily searching through cabinets, her brows furrowing deeply as she mutters things to herself. Fluttering fingers shuffle through shelves, pulling out ingredients as she races to and fro in the small kitchen area. I prop myself against the molding in the doorway and just watch her revolving movement.

"You know, organization would probably help you out there, Mom?" I state with a smile, quirking my brow.

She steadies her hands as she shifts to look at me over her shoulder, her face awash with concentration as she glances at me. "Well, I'm about as good with structure and tidiness as your dad is with handling emotions."

"That bad, huh?" I question, an amused smirk playing at the edge of my lip.

"I resent that comment," Dad shouts reprovingly from his seated position on the couch from the living room.

Renee and I both cover our mouths in attempt to squash the chuckles emanating from between our divided lips as she winks at me. Skipping over to her side, I bump her with my hip and question, "Need any help?"

She swings her hip marginally, connecting with mine and states, "Absolutely."

Just like when I was younger, we float in tandem around the room, working around each other as we boil pasta, stir tomato sauce, and construct the perfect lasagna sans Renee's flourish for creative experimentation. As I'm layering the ricotta and beef sauce, she walks up to stand behind me. Grasping my shoulders, she gives them a slight squeeze before resting her chin on her right hand overlooking my work. "This eggplant top makes your skin glow."

Patting her hand, I simply offer, "Thanks."

Then she inclines her head, angling her face in my direction while she whispers from her perch, "What's going on with you, Pumpkin?"

Stilling my hand, I close my eyes and let out a soft whirling breath, the air mingling with the steady swirl of steam rising from the dish. "Mom, I'd really rather not talk about it right now. It's… complicated," I choke out with a strangled murmur.

"Hmm," she ponders briefly, before continuing, "I can handle complicated, you know? There's nothing you can't talk with me about."

Chewing on my lips, I turn around to face her. I rest my back against the counter, and cross my feet at my ankles, wiping away the imaginary dust from the countertop with my left hand as I avoid her gaze. Raising my head, my eyes flicker to hers and I mumble, "Yeah, I know. It's just… there are several things I need to sort out in my head first."

She takes a step forward and grasps my dangling right hand in both of hers and strokes her thumbs across my knuckles. "Are you and Edward having problems? Is that what's troubling you?"

_Yes. No. Maybe._

I keep waiting for the guilt of what I've done to slam in to me like a brick wall. I'm practically on edge because of it, but even hearing his name, it doesn't come. There's nothing unsettling in my stomach or anything making me feel suffocated. There's no grief creeping up my spine or any remote feeling of a slap to the face or a kick to the gut. I picture his face and I feel nothing, part of the reason I ran. _Part, but not the whole or the key motive._

Ideologically, I know what I did was wrong, but I don't feel that sheer and overwhelming shame that I had after the first time. I try to will myself to feel the hatred or disgrace I should feel for my misbehavior. I want the vitriol emotions I should suffer to rage unbridled through my body and climb my throat as chastisement for my wrongdoings, but it's nowhere to be found.

My thoughts provisionally drift to Emmett again and my heartstrings react from the familiar tug that I've been experiencing since walking past his door before leaving. I wrap my arms tightly around my midriff to protect myself from the ghostly discomfort working up my spine, causing me to shiver against its emptying chill. It's when I picture his face looking at my last message, that I feel the atonement from my indiscretion against Edward. I can only experience the anguish for the ramification of my actions when I picture Emmett's confused expression when he awoke to an empty bed and an even more desolate home. Trembling, I feel the pressure behind my eyes build as I stifle a sob.

Suddenly, I'm aware of soft fingers brushing the hair away from my forehead and tucking it behind my ear as the movement brings my mind back to the present. I open my eyes to find my mother staring at me with genuine concern.

"Bella, baby, I won't push you. However, if you need me, I'm always here," she candidly affirms, searching my expression with her piercing hazel eyes.

I just nod my head and turn back to the task of preparing dinner for our guests.

* * *

The day passes by generally smooth and uncomplicated, time filling easily with inconsequential conversation between my parents and me as we lounge around watching television and waiting on our dinner guest to arrive.

Later in the evening, as dusk paints the sky with hues of warm oranges and deep purples, a gathering of two guys and three girls appearing relatively close to my age arrives at the house. Their enthusiastic chatter with Renee and Charlie infuses the home with cheer as we all settle around the table and begin the consumption of the large, deep-dish lasagna along with garlic rolls and a fresh salad.

As the evening carries on, a sense of melancholy envelopes me, and I miss the way that Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and me used to spend our time together like this, with animated conversation enhanced with boisterous laughter and general happiness. It feels like a blanket of gravity was draped over us all when Emmett and I took a roll in the mud, sucking out the liveliness that I used to take for granted.

Excusing myself from the table, I bid everyone goodnight before I climb the steps to my room. After changing into my pajamas and going through my nightly routine, I sink into the heavy covering of my bed. A sensation of relief washes over me momentarily as I burrow my head against my pillow. Finally, I surrender my psyche to the infiltrating mentality of the origin of my departure.

Escaping into the recesses of my mind, I easily visualize yesterday's unfolding as if I am witnessing it firsthand again. I can easily conjure up the feel of his skin against my naked flesh, the way his mouth tasted when his tongue merged delectably with mine, and even how the smell of lust and sex filled the essence of the room. It coated us, heightening the experience as we claimed the couch that had fallen victim to our exploits.

_His motions had been rapturous as he moved behind me, pulling my hair in tempo with his thrusts, and I whimpered below him. Yet, in a single instant, the ambiance of air around us shifted as did our connection. We were no longer linked purely in a sexual manner. It was something highly more significant than that. He leaned over me, his thick arms fastening securely around my waist as his pace slowed. In return, I lessened my urgency, synchronizing my rhythm to match his perfectly. To substitute for the loss of our rushed movements and to join us further, my hands drifted down to his, easily sliding against his palms as I flattened them inside of his and clutched to them like he was my last breath. Abruptly, I turned my face in search of him, my eyes lingering on his cerulean gaze before I pushed my lips against his tenderly. I moaned into his mouth because of the over-stimulating power that traveled over my body, holding my mind captive and intoxicating me with his quintessence. My tongue swept eagerly across his bottom lip because I needed so much more of him than what he was offering- stronger, deeper, always more. Pulling back, I stared openly at his face, absorbing the beautiful contortion of his features as he moved within me and the last strand fell away. I was ready to finally admit to myself that this was no longer about sex or lust for me, that I just needed _him_. As we neared our climaxes together, the frenzy of our movements never reappeared, but the steady escalation of intimacy held us entranced as we continued to watch one another intently between soft kisses and hushed murmurings. _

In hindsight, I realize it probably would have been easier on both of us- or everyone included- if I had spoken up and ended things immediately afterward, but instead, I surrendered to my greed by relishing in that newfound feeling for him. It was bewildering in a way. I wanted to eat alongside him while we carried on a meaningless banter. I needed that effortless bond that surrounded us whenever we were together, that natural state of just being and living. I sought that addictive desire to lay against him wrapped in his arms, the security and ease he brought out of me as I was conquered by his presence.

It was wrong.

As the tears glide over the slant of my cheeks, I suppress the weeping mewl with the back of my hand as I stare out my window into the overwhelming darkness of the open night. Looking back on the entirety of the situation, I can see how I let my selfishness ruin everything. If I never would have allowed myself the opportunity to explore things with Emmett, then I'd still be blissfully unsuspecting of this intensity that I share with him. I'd be with Edward, blindly carrying on with my daily activities, encased by the love I felt for him and no other. Now, everything is different and wrong. The predicament I've found myself in is unfamiliar.

I'm trying to pinpoint the exact prospects that caused this dramatic shift of balance in my life, but nothing concrete or understandable is helping me make the decision. I can't comprehend all these emotions that I'm feeling. There is so much about my circumstances that are vague, but three points are certain. For one, some part of me still truly loves Edward. Two, I feel something different for Emmett that I've never felt for anyone else. Three, though everything that I've done is erroneous, part of me feels like it's equally right. _God, how I've fucked up._

So, I fled because I was afraid to confront what facing a new day with Emmett would be like, and furthermore because I couldn't hide my emotions. I knew he would recognize the change in my demeanor. What if my feelings weren't reciprocated by him? _Not that I even know what I'm feeling. Jesus._

Then on the contrary, would I even want to know if he felt the same? What would that mean for Edward and me, or even him and Rosalie? Could I do that to them? Could I do that to me? _I've made such a huge mess of all of this._

My brain starts pounding at my temples because of how scrambled my stressing thoughts are, as the tears fall harder from my eyes, soaking the pillowcase below me. I can't believe there was ever a point where I thought that I could have sex with Emmett and everyone would walk away unscathed and unhurt. No matter the angle I try to dissect this chaotic muddle from, it all ends with someone, somehow getting hurt. My heart twists in my chest with the thought of being alone, and the selfish part of me vows that no matter the consequences, I won't be. Finally, I deduce that the only way to fix this is to undo all that has been done. I have to act like nothing ever happened. I can do it.

Betraying thoughts in my brain summon images of Emmett and I choke for air at the prospect of saying no to him. But I have to, not just for me or him, but for the good of the whole.

As my mind continues to battle the fight between honorable and unjust, my body becomes physically exhausted because of the scrutiny I've put myself under, and I fall into a deep, transited sleep.

* * *

I'm pulled from the depths of my sleep by a soft knocking at the door and the persistent chirping of sparrows outside of my window. Peaking out of one eye, I question hoarsely, "Yeah?"

I recoil at the roughness of my voice, all the crying last night making the pitch crackle. Charlie pokes his head inside, and I sit up in the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin because I'm not quite comfortable with my dad seeing me in a thin camisole and no bra. He seems to take a sigh in relief.

"Hey, Kiddo, I'm going to head out to Lake Pleasant around eight o'clock. It could be like old times, a little father-daughter fishing. You wanna go with?" he questions, uncouthly.

I nod my head sleepily, digging my palms into my eyes as I try to wake myself further. Yawning, I reply, "Sure, Dad, sounds great."

I watch my father as a slow smile sweeps across his face and he ducks behind the door. Searching around my room for a clock, I gawk when the device reads six fifty-five. _Who wakes up this damn early?_

I shower and get dressed in my Hello Kitty shirt and denim shorts, braiding my hair into pigtails and throwing my bright blue shades on my head. Running down the stairs, I catch myself when I trip on the next to last step, flattening my hand against the wall to steady myself as I breathe heavily. Charlie approaches me from the side, raising his eyebrow and says, "Careful there."

I pat him on the shoulder and we walk to the kitchen together. Shuffling over to Renee, I lean in and kiss her softly on the cheek, wiping away the flour residue from her rosy flesh. She smiles appreciatively before turning her attention back to kneading the dough.

With my eyes trained on the floor, I quietly ask, "Did Edward call?"

After I'm met with silence, I peek up at her just as she erases the sympathetic look from her expression. "No, he hasn't. I'm sorry."

I present an indifferent front, but I'm secretly relieved that he hasn't phoned me. I'd rather wait and deal with that discussion at our home in Austin, not over the receiver with thousands of miles between us… not that I'm exactly giddy to have the conversation anyway.

We all eat breakfast together, and then Dad and I are packing up my truck to make the forty minute drive to Lake Pleasant.

* * *

Given that it's the end of summer, the lake is pleasantly crowded and full of vivacity, adult laughter and children's squeals echoing out from every direction. Charlie and I stand along the bank, readying our poles and making small talk.

After sliding the worm over the hook, I cast my line out and plop down into the dry dirt. Impetuously huffing, I settle in for a protracted wait, letting the cool breeze stir the dust around me as it makes ripples in the water.

My father barks out a chuckle, and I turn to the side to squint my eyes at him. "What was that about?" I question curiously.

His eyes glaze over momentarily as he appears to get lost in his thoughts before he looks down at me, shaking his head from side-to-side.

"Nothing. I just caught a side glance of you and I'd swear you look just like you did when you were eight years old. Matter of fact, I'd almost say that outfit was from back then, too. I can't believe people pass off that undersized amount of material as clothing these days," he berates with reprimanding eyes.

I let out a voluminous giggle, one that stems from the lowest parts of my stomach as I roll to my side, still clutching the rod in my hand.

"I was going for the vintage look. What, you don't like it?" I question with elevated brows and a broad smile.

He walks over to stand behind me, and tugs on one of my braids. "I guess it's cute, but no dad ever wants their daughter _that_ exposed. I guess I keep forgetting that you're actually an adult now," he reflectively admits.

I nod my head and focus my gaze back out over the water, watching as my bob dances and wafts above the undulating, teal surface. Charlie then settles himself beside me on the ground as he blows out a large gust of air.

Bumping my shoulder with his, he leans over and whispers, "So, what lit a fire under your ass and made you run all the way out here?" _I should have known._

"Et tu, Brute?" I playfully ask.

Grinning bashfully, he mumbles, "We just worry about you, Bells."

I keep my eyes trained out over the lake as a quaint peace encases the space around us.

"So?" Charlie prompts before reeling his line in, casting it back out immediately afterward.

Groaning, I kick the sandy earth with the toe of my shoe. "You aren't going to let it go are you, Old Man?"

"Depends. You want me to?" he questions, grabbing his beer and taking a swig before offering me a sip.

I decline his offer and place my pole on the ground. Wrapping my arms around my bent legs, I rest my cheek on my knee as I stare up at him. His eyes are kind as they settle over me and he volunteers an understanding smile.

Taking a large, reluctant breath and exhaling it quickly, I state quietly, "Jesus, I don't even know where to start."

He rubs my back encouragingly and waits patiently for me to begin.

Gathering my thoughts, I ask, "Dad, how did you know that Mom was _the one_… you know, _it _for you?"

His brows furrow as confusion marks his features before recognition dawns on him and he bounces his head. "So, you're having boy problems?"

Exasperated, I retort, "Gah, just answer the question."

He chuckles momentarily before a mask of seriousness transforms his face and he ponders over his answer.

"Well, Bells, I don't think you can ever _really_ know if the person you're with is the one or not. This world is filled with billions of people and you have a chance to make a life with any of them. But then, when you finally meet that one special person, as your mother is to me, who makes you feel a little more complete than anyone else you've ever been with, you ask yourself if you can see a life with that person. If you can, then you take a gamble and see where it lands you. Granted, by doing so, you're taking a big risk, but everything in this world is chance. It's just about making a commitment with your whole heart, both of you equally putting everything you have into making your marriage work out. If you are lucky enough to find a great person in this world that makes you happy, then I say you're blessed."

I mull over his words in my mind prior to questioning further, "So you don't believe in soul mates or whatever?"

He laughs boisterously for a moment before he sighs and pulls me into his side. "No, I don't. I'd hate to think that there's only _one_ person out there destined to be with _one _other. Life is too complicated as it is for you to have to search the earth over looking for your one and only."

"Well, after you were with Mom, did you ever…feel… attracted to anyone else?" I hesitantly inquire, chewing on my bottom lip viciously with worry.

He squeezes my shoulder and murmurs, "Sure, I mean, it's human nature, I suppose. But then at the end of the day, I know I'm happily married to your mother, and she's the person I want to grow old with. We've built this life together, and I intend to see it through with her, you know?"

I thoughtfully nod my head against his chest, mumbling an "Mmm-hmm."

Then I add, "But you _are_ happy… with Mom?"

He replies through his snickering, "God no, I want to kill her all the time."

I immediately snort, and we laugh for a long time together before our chuckles settle down. Twisting his face, he kisses the top of my head and pulls back to look at me in my eyes.

"Bella, there aren't a lot of things certain in this life, and a marriage is hard work. It's about dedication and making sacrifices for the betterment of your relationship. But I tell you, in your mom I have found someone that gives me joy and laughter at some point during every day. I have a best friend for life. Best of all, she gave me you. You two women are my _greatest_ gifts."

As he speaks so diligently, I can feel my eyes fill with moisture. I look up at him as the tears silently trek down my cheek while he wears the love he has for Renee and me openly on his face. Smiling, he wipes the tears away from my cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Then he hugs me and whispers in my ear, "Now, we have to stop all this emotional stuff. Tears make me break out in hives."

With that, our amusement joins the countless others around us as we get back to the enjoyment of our time together. Father and daughter, fishing at the embankment while the sun sits high in the sky above us.

* * *

Arriving home, I shoot upstairs to take a shower to get the smell of fish and the dirt off of me. Afterward, I get changed for dinner and gather my belongings for my flight later in the evening.

While packing my bags, I ruminate over the discussion Charlie and I had at the lake. I _have_ found someone special in Edward, and before I allowed things to get carried away with Emmett, I had been sure about our life together- marriage, kids, the whole bundle. But the fact of the matter is that although I may have a newfound emotional attachment to Emmett, he's simply unattainable. He and Rosalie are working on their life. and I might be obstructing their ability to do so with my involvement.

_Emmett, I'm sorry. I'm safe. We can't do this anymore. _

I gather my things and carry them down the stairs, setting them by the front door for when I have to leave later. Hopping over to the kitchen, I find Renee sitting at the table. She waves me over and pushes out the seat beside her, patting it for me to sit down.

"Someone looks like they're feeling a bit better. Did you get everything sorted out, dear?" she asks, pushing my pigtail over my shoulder.

"Yes, Ma'am, Dad is a wise man," I answer, smiling tentatively in response.

"That he is. I'm a lucky woman. By the way, we ordered pizza. It should be getting here in a bit. I'm going to run outside and get your dad so he can come in and clean up. Will you listen for the door?"

"Sure sure. Tell Dad not to bring any of those fish guts in the house, though. That would ruin my appetite," I say, wrinkling my nose up at the thought of it as she gets up from the table.

"Will do, money's on the counter," she shouts over her shoulder as she walks out the backdoor.

I sit there drumming my fingers on the table top, lost in thought when the doorbell rings. Picking up the cash from the counter, I run over and throw open the door, my heart instantly leaping into my throat.

_It's not the delivery boy._

Standing before me is a six foot man in a very expensive suit, running his fingers under the rim of his black, square-framed glasses. Tousled bronze hair rises to reveal startled green eyes and a devilish half-smirk. "Surprise."

"Eh-eed-Edward… um…hey," I stutter as my eyes search over him and his business attire. I can feel my fingers begin to tremble as I look at him, my body suddenly wanting to bolt because I'm not exactly ready to face reality yet. I thought I had more time.

His face falls marginally as he runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes casting downward before returning back to me.

"Not exactly the response I was hoping for," he states with a bashful grin.

I pound my palms against my forehead before peaking out between my fingers at him, my face instantly flaming under his watchful gaze. Turning around, I grab the doorknob and pull the door closed. Twisting my hands around each other, I walk closer to him, stopping short a few inches away.

"So, were you expecting-" he begins to inquire before I cut him off mid-sentence.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I probe heatedly, a little irritated that he's here when I'd be home a few hours later.

His eyes go wide before he starts tugging at his cuff links and rambles, "I thought…I mean…I was _hoping_ that I could come out and surprise you. I had been away on the trip and I was missing you like crazy, so I thought… I'm sorry."

_If you can, then you take a gamble and see where it lands you. Granted, by doing so, you're taking a big risk, but everything in this world is chance._

My dad's words ring in my mind as I watch Edward's face fall completely. He had taken a risk by flying out here to me. He was putting in his effort and now it was my turn to meet him halfway.

His sullen expression provokes a twist of pain in my chest, so I reach out to him. Rubbing my hands along his forearms, I duck my head to catch his wayward stare with mine.

Licking my lips, I smile and reply, "It's not that I'm not happy to see you… because I am… I'm just curious."

An awkward silence lingers between us as I pick at the ends of my pigtails uninterestedly while he shuffles his feet from one side to the other with restlessness. Finally, he clears his throat and says, "So yeah, there was the whole missing you thing, but I also didn't want you to have to fly back by yourself."

Again, I sense the heat of my anger bubble to the surface of my skin as I remember wanting to use that time to finalize all the quibbles of my current circumstance in my mind before landing in Austin to resolve everything with him there. Snapping, I question bitterly, "So what, you decided to hop off one plane and onto another to meet me in Phoenix when I would have been home later tonight anyway?"

I watch anxiously as his jaw clenches before he snarls coldly, "I'm sorry… this was obviously a terrible idea."

He turns to walk away, and my heart breaks at the thought of him leaving and me being alone while my father's words resonate in my mind. I reach out and grab his hand, tugging it to get him brusquely to stop his movement. He turns around and looks at me, his drawn eyes making him appear hurt and defensive as his nostrils flare slightly.

Reaching up, I run my tremulous fingertips over the rough stubble covering his jaw. I try to find enough words capable of reconciling this painful unease between us as I stare up at his face. Before I'm able to say anything, he's pulling me into him roughly. Clutching at me desperately as I twist my hands into the fabric of his coat, I draw him as firmly to me as my weak arms allow. I breathe harshly into his chest as I feel his breath blowing forcefully into my hair. Lowering his head, he whispers brokenly in my ear, "I just…needed… to hold you, Bella."

I feel the tears fall from my eyes as I feel the intensity in his words, and I realize that I've made the right decision in recommitting myself to making _this_ relationship work.

Just as I'm about to pull away and let my mouth fly, apologize for all the wrong I've done and how I've single-handedly almost destroyed everything, we hear a throat clear behind us and we both look toward the sound.

A pimply teenager stares at us with large eyes as he holds the pizzas out to us. Coughing, he murmurs, "That's going to be twenty-two dollars and eighty-nine cents."

I dig around in my pocket, and hand him the thirty dollars, telling him to keep the change. There's no telling how long he stood there or what he witnessed, that poor boy deserves his tip.

Taking Edward's hand in mine, I lead him inside the house.

* * *

As I stare out the window of the plane at the dreary sky highlighted with the twinkling of stars, I glance over to find Edward typing away furiously on his Blackberry. Feeling my eyes on him, he turns his face toward me and smiles. I return it with one of my own and link our fingers. Pulling his hand up to my mouth, I kiss his palm as a silent apology for what I've done and a promise to put forth my own effort in correcting it all. He seems to understand as he nods his head, pulling my hand to his lips to do the same.

_Back to reality. _

_Emmett, I'm sorry. I'm safe. I can't do this anymore, _I think one last time before reveling in the soft warmth of a familiar pair of lips on my skin.

* * *

**A/N: End scene**. **Seriously, Bella and I battled it out this chapter. I wanted one thing, she wanted another. Had it been me, I never would have left the comfort of Emmett's embrace, but you can't write the story, you have to let your characters lead you. Bella was hell bent in leading, alright. *humph* **

**Oh, and I always forget this. I'M ON TWITTER. You can find the link in my profile.**

**Thank you to Rhi (Live720), for her general awesomeness and knocking my ass around when I need it. **

**My usual suspects, I heart you all! (RAoR, SOB, BBR) *mwah***

**Next time we'll see Emmett. *tear***

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	14. Chapter 14: Pity Party of One

**Yeah, I'm sorry. So sorry. I fail at punctuality and shit, but apparently I'm fuckawesome at dealing with RL and procrastination. If any of you amazing readers are still out there, I'm so unbelievably grateful for your support. I'll never understand why you guys stick with me, but I'm appreciative nonetheless. For all those that read, review, favorite, or alert, Je t'aime. (I hope that's right, I'm trying to make up for my suckiness. Is it working? Also, to all those that review anonymously and I can't respond with my undying love, I heart you more than my pain meds, which I really fucking love.**

**Really quickly, I'll be writing an entry for the Me & Mr. Carty O/S contest, so you might want to put me on author alert if you'd like to read it.**

**The outfits for this chapter will be linked on my profile.**

**Music Inspiration for this chapter is "Running Away" by Hoobastank and "Right Here" by Staind.**

*****Disclaimer:*** ****All recognizable characters, settings, references, and lyrics are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended.** I don't own anything, but my wicked mind, and I'm just thankful to be able to play around with these characters and have fun.

* * *

**"Chapter 14: Pity Party of One"**

_**EmPOV**_

"So, Pinky, I was wondering if we could... um, _talk_ about the uh... the other day, and _stuff_," I say, exhaling roughly and mentally rolling my eyes at myself and my unimpressive conversation skills. _I sound like an idiot._

_"_It's just that I've been trying to get you alone all week. God, no, _nothing _like that. It's not that I'm trying to get you alone to do _things_, just alone so we could... talk," I state awkwardly, wincing at the stupidity spewing from between my lips. _In all honesty, this is being said with a little more suavity in my head. When did I start lacking the ability to articulate and form simple sentences?_

Running a frustrated hand over my face, I straighten my back and clear my throat before trying again.

"So, there's this thing I think we should try... it's called _communication_, and I was thinking... that I'm A BIG IDIOT, DOUCHEBAG MOTHERFUCKER!" I yell, slamming my fist against the steering wheel of my car with more force than necessary, the leather frame whining and rattling under the strength of the blow, the pain shooting across my knuckles barely registering in my brain.

_Nice one, McCarty. Smooth on the slight mentioning of how you'd like to 'get her alone.' I'm sure that'd make her want to stick around longer than three seconds, you jackass._

This past week following Bella's disappearance that faithful Saturday morning has been filled with repetitious low after low. My mornings were spent waking up next to Rose, the guilt of wanting her body replaced with that of a much more petite brunette further rattling my hold on _whatever_ these new feelings for Bella were mixed with the reality that I was stuck with. I yearned the comfort of her tiny frame pressed against mine, anchoring her to my chest or side, having her fit perfectly with me like a second skin. I proceeded the routine of roll over and kiss-the-blonde-that-was-my-girlfriend-instead-of-the-doe-eyed-Bella-I-wanted-it-to-be by driving across town to the school where the faculty congregated and discussed matters of the new school year. I tried to be attentive as possible, really attempted to be mindful of all the words the directors were saying because I was the newly-employed guy and had so much to prove as a teacher and future head football coach of Austin High School. Yet, that wasn't the case as I often found my mind wondering to Bella, where she was, what she was doing, who she was thinking about at the moment. I knew that my actions were pathetic. In fact, I couldn't help but internally scoff at my teenage girl behavior, but I couldn't block the images in my brain, my thoughts were consumed solely of her. My afternoons were spent driving home, trying to psyche myself up and premeditate the conversation I wanted to have with her once I got back to the apartment. However, each day I was met with silence, no trace of her at all, and all my hopes of working out this distance between us had been obliterated. Each day, it hurt more, and felt like I was waking up to a vacant bed all over again.

_I remember my eyes were closed, breathing in her scent from my sheets with a huge smile splitting my face as thoughts of the angel with brown eyes from my dreams lingered in my mind. My arms instantly shot to my side as I felt along the cloth for the warmth of her body and smoothness of her skin. After a few seconds of meeting nothing but crumpled fabric, the smile began to fall as my eyes shot open and observed the emptiness of the spot were she had been laying. Abruptly, I sat up in the bed and listened closely for any signs of movement outside of the bedroom as a chilling sense of dread began to creep into my mind. Rolling over, I placed my feet on the floor and crossed the room, throwing on some sweats as I made my way from room to room in search of her._

_There was nothing._

_I tried to will myself to believe that she was out running errands or maybe picking up breakfast, but a tightness started brewing in my chest and something just felt _off_. Even so, I told myself to stay rational and walked back to my room to retrieve my phone. I dialed the number, pressed the phone to my ear, and after a single ring, her voicemail picked up. I thought it was weird, but chocked it up to being faulty service. I ended the call and immediately redialed. When her voicemail picked up for the second time, my fingers began to tremble and the tightness in my chest started gripping my heart a little more forcefully, each painful beat pumping anxiety throughout my body. I immediately chastised myself, and insisted that I needed to quit acting like such a pussy. I ended the call a second time and tried her again, deciding to leave a message when her voice filtered through the line. "Hey, Bella, it's me... uh, Emmett, like you didn't already know that. I just woke up. You... weren't here. Um, just call me back."_

_I persistently called her as my mind started creating all these different scenarios, some stupid and some downright scary. Curiosity became worry, worry became fear, fear became doubt, and doubt lead to panic. I typed out text message after text message, seeking a reply of just letting me know that she was safe. I hadn't kept up with how many times I tried to reach her one way or another, hadn't made a mental note of how many ridiculous and petty-sounding messages I had left on her voicemail as I paced the floors of our apartment. I just knew I needed to reach her somehow._

_Finally, with my voice shaking, my heart thundering, my palms sweating, and my knees bouncing anxiously against the edge of the couch as I slumped down into the over-sized cushions, I left one last message. "Bella, it's me. Again. Look, I don't know if I fucked something up, did something wrong, said something you didn't like... but, if I did, I'm truly sorry. I just want you to let me know that you're safe because I'm really starting to worry. Just... call me, okay?"  
_

_I placed the phone beside me as the blood pulsed in my ears, the silence mocking me as I stared at my cell, beckoning her to call me back, or at least text me. Anything. _Something.

_I sat on the couch, the one that barely a day earlier I had taken Bella on- even though at this particular moment and with the space between us it seemed like a lifetime ago- and rubbed my chest, a slow burn radiating from my it and coursing through my limbs. I sat and waited. And waited. _

_When my phone vibrated, I nearly jumped out of my skin with excitement and anticipation. Yet, when my eyes fell upon the little envelope picture signaling a text and not her flashing name, that feeling of overwhelming dread settled over me like a blanket once more. This particular token of a reply didn't seem to comfort me like I thought it would. I licked my lips and stared down at my phone, my heart knowing before I clicked on it that nothing good was going to come from her response. Closing my eyes, I placed my shaking fingertip over the button and hesitantly pushed 'accept.' Slowly, my lids fluttered open and I looked at the message._

_My eyes poured over her words, reading them once, twice, and three times over before all my breath rushed out of me in a single instant, as if someone- not just someone, _her_- as if _Bella herself_, had landed a swift kick to my gut._

_**Emmett, I'm sorry. I'm safe. We can't do this anymore.**_

_I gripped at my chest as the fire exploded. My heart ricocheted against my ribs and left me broken in its wake. A monstrous lumped formed in my throat as I forced myself to swallow around it, squeezing the cushions of the couch while a distressing chill circuited below the surface of my skin. My lungs constricted as I continually gasped for air, the uneasiness of breathing making me feel lightheaded._ I didn't understand.

_And then I became angry. Furious even._

_What gave her the right to choose? Who was she to make decisions for me? Did I not get an opinion in _any _of this? _

_I honestly couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that she could just throw her hands up, walk away, and be... _done_?_

_Granted, I didn't exactly know what we had going on, and we certainly hadn't discussed our situation, but I _knew_ this was more than sex. I knew because of how I felt when we were intimate yesterday that things were different between us. I knew from the way that she looked at me that _she_ knew things were different, too. The warmth in her eyes, the gentleness of her sweet caresses, and the tenderness of her kisses made me _feel_ like things were different. _

_So, no. This was _not_ her decision to make alone. She didn't get to choose for me. I could do that all by myself, and so I chose not to give up just yet._

An air of confidence envelopes me as I whip into my parking space and spring from my jeep, walking toward our apartment with a bounce in my step and a joyous whistle on my lips. Unlocking the door, I throw it open and step inside, assessing my surroundings and looking for any signs of her. With a grin pulling at the corner of my lips, I yell, "Bella, you here?"

I toss my keys on the counter as I make my way to and from each room, the stilling calmness that permeates the atmostphere causes the jovial expression I'm wearing to fade in an instant. Finally accepting that she isn't home, I wonder to my closed door as the tiny bit of hope flickers in the recesses of my brain, and I open the door. I stare at the empty bed, as deserted as it had been _that_ morning, and look at the twisted and unmade sheets. All the hurt and disappointment comes rushing to the forefront again as the anger fuels me. I feel the heat spread across my cheeks and neck as I yank at my tie to loosen it, huffing and exhaling roughly to get rid of the steam circulating throughout my shaking frame. Without thinking, I raise my fist and crash it against the wall. The sheetrock caves in easily from the pressure exerted by the powerful punch, and I stand there stunned as I gaze at my hand sitting inside the wall. Pulling it out, I shake the dry plaster from my hand and make my way toward the kitchen with a purpose in mind.

I march back to the room, shot glass and a large bottle of Cuervo in hand. Placing them down on the desk, I walk to the closet and rummage around at the top for one particular item. Once I locate it, I turn and walk back to the desk, reclining in the office chair as I stare across the room at the fresh hole in the wall, a physical remainder of the imaginary hole in my heart. I pour shot after shot, downing them quickly and grimacing as the warmth of the liquor works its way down my esophagus and spreads in my body. My heartbeat picks up temporarily when I hear the front door open, but then Rose and Edward's voices filter down the hall and it slows again.

Eventually Rose walks in the room and shuts the door. Turning around, she quirks her brow as she notices my pity party of one. I just offer a sardonic half-smile and drink another shot. She slides her metallic dress from her shoulders, letting it float to the floor. Sauntering around only wearing her undergarments and matching metallic heels to her closet, she puts her shoes in their appropriate spot before strutting to the bathroom. Within minutes, the rhythmic sound of water pelting against the shower stall fills the room. No acknowledgment from her at all. She didn't greet me with a cheerful "Hi, honey, how was your day?" or anything. Instead, I only received a slightly frustrated eyebrow raise. _This day just keeps getting better and better._

Leaning forward, I pick up the stupid velvet box and twirl it in between my fingers. This stupid fucking box was the icing on the cake of one awful fucking weekend.

_I had my work sprawled across the kitchen table on that Sunday afternoon in the all-too-quiet house as I tried to prepare my presentation and required syllabus for the week's upcoming school meeting. As I tried to concentrate on this task at hand, my brain battled continuously with infiltrating thoughts of Bella when the front door blew open. Edward bounced through the frame, his open and carefree smile mocking my sully demeanor as his eyes scanned the room._

_"Is she here? Is Bella here?" he stated excitedly as his eyes traced the corners of our living space._

_I weakly offered, "Nope. Haven't seen here since Friday."_

_My attention was drawn to the door when Rose came through it, hauling her luggage gruffly behind her. She tossed a "Hi, Em," in my general direction, but never pointedly addressed me._

_Edward walked over to me and grasped my shoulder. Leaning down, he whispered, "Hey man, can I discuss something with you in the other room?"_

_Immediately, I stiffened, apprehensive that maybe he wanted to ask if anything had transpired between Bella and me over the weekend. My heart clenched as a barrage of images seized my brain, and I briefly wondered if Bella had called him, and what I should tell him if he addressed the subject. I swallowed thickly, nodding my head, as I stood to follow behind him. He lead us to my room, which I hadn't been back in after Saturday morning, and my eyes instantly traveled to the bed as I gripped the door frame for support._

_Then, hitting me out of nowhere, Edward whirled around with a petite Tiffany box in hand. I tried desperately to fight the rage that started to bubble below the surface as I stared openly at him and that offending, trademark blue box. He opened it to reveal a smaller, black velvet ring case._

_He inhaled deeply and than his words came out joyfully and rushed, "Okay, so I'm going to ask Bella to marry me. I don't know when, but I can't keep it our room where she might find it. Would you keep it in here?"_

Un-fucking-believable. Was he serious?

_I looked over at him as he bounced lithely on the balls of his feet, smirk firmly in place on his face with a twinkle in his eyes. He was most definitely serious... and I wanted to grind my knuckles into something, someone._

_I bit my tongue and ground my teeth together as he relayed the events of the day when he purchased the ring and took a walk down memory lane of all the good times he and Bella had together. Part of me actually thought he was doing it on purpose, but then I thought better of it. Edward's a good guy. So, I _did,_ rather begrudgingly, take on the responsibility of_ _holding it for him because what was I expected to do, decline him? 'Sorry, man, but no can do. You see, I totally enjoy banging your chick, and I'm slightly reluctant to let you keep her to yourself because I think I've started developing feelings for her.' _Yeah, something told me that conversation wouldn't go over so well.

_He thanked me and offered an one-arm slap on the back before running off, stating something about having to catch a flight to go get Bella._

The bathroom door swings open, promptly bringing my mind back to the present as Rose steps out of the steamed area barely clad in a terrycloth towel. I watch as she crosses the room to her dresser and begins brushing her damp, blonde tresses with long fluid sweeps of the brush. I swirl the tequila around the shot glass once and toss it back, my tastebuds not even registering the distinct taste of the golden liquor anymore as it slides down my throat. Once I raise my head back up, my eyes connect with Rose's sharp stare through the mirror as she observes me in a contemplative manner, jaw taut and hands on her hip.

"So, I see you decided to redecorate the room," she states, nodding her head toward the fresh hole in the wall.

"Something like that," I mutter, my words slurring because of my current attempt at getting absolutely hammered.

Rose just rolls her eyes and starts rummaging through her drawer for a nightgown, finally settling on a silk teddy. With her gaze diverted, my attention is drawn back to the stupid box again.

I pick it up , letting it roll around the tips of my fingers before I grasp it firmly in my palm. I hesitantly open it, bitterly scrutinizing the huge sapphire in the center and the circular diamonds surrounding it all set in platinum. What in God's name was he thinking? Does he even know Bella at all? She would _never_ want something so gaudy and expensive. _Something tells me this _thing_ might actually outweigh her. It's ridiculous._

I hear Rose cough, purposely clearing her throat to gather my attention. Reluctantly, I let my eyes raise to meet hers through the mirror. She nods toward the ring and questions, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I throw back another shot, coughing briefly and quip, "Yeah, if you're in to the pricey as fuck, I want everyone to think I'm a rich asshole because I bought my fiancé a flashy ass diamond sort of thing." I then tip back the bottle this time, taking a long draw from it. _Fuck a shot glass, I can't get plastered quickly enough that way._

She whirls around on her heel, blazing fire shooting from her enraged stare as she stalks over to me. I cower slightly under her gaze as the heat penetrates my skin. She jerks the bottle from my grip and screws the lid back on. "I think you're finished now, Emmett." She takes the bottle back with her to the dresser, sitting it down on the top as she resumes brushing her hair, glancing at me icily between strokes.

I carry the ring with me as I stand and cross the room, flinging my full weight onto the bed. As I situate myself atop the mattress, I continue to stare at the offending piece of jewelry. I don't exactly know what I'm more jealous about, the fact that this particular ring is destined to be worn by Bella or what it represents- commitment, sharing your life with that special someone, _a family_.

I shift my weight, rolling over to my side as I stare at Rosalie in the mirror. The silk gown hugs her curves, showing off her long legs as her honey eyes flicker to mine, a soft smile working its way across her ruby lips. _If Bella is going to be moving on with her life, I should move on with mine, right?_

"Rose, how would you like to get married?" I question, sitting the ring down on the bed as I focus my attention back on her.

Her smile instantly fades as she stops brushing her hair mid-stroke, rebuking, "I hope like hell that wasn't your proposal, Emmett McCarty."

I laugh lightly as I shake my head from left to right. "No, Rose, but you know what I mean."

Exhaling, she sits her brush down and turns around to face me. "Emmett, honey, I thought we've already talked about this," she states apologetically as her eyes drop to the floor.

"Yeah," I state, pausing momentarily, before I continue in a soft mumble, "but _maybe_ we should talk about it again."

"Emmett," she addresses me firmly, "What more is there to discuss? We both know I need to put my career first right now. I just don't have the time or energy level to focus on planning a wedding. We have all these mergers and new deals in the process at work, I'm already stressed to my wits end, and you want to throw this at me _now_?"

I crawl to the end of the bed and gather her hand in mine, tugging her toward me. "We don't have to have a huge wedding. Let's go get married on a beach or elope," I plead, searching her eyes as she stares down at me.

"That's not me or what I picture when I think about _my_ wedding day. Just because I'm saying no to you now doesn't mean that I love you any less or that I don't eventually want all the same things that you want. I just don't want them now," she states, begging me to understand.

But all I can hear is the rejection in her voice and I'm so tired of it. _Can't someone just want _me_?_

I lower my head to me chest and question brokenly, "What about what _I_ want?"

She throws my hands down, her face contorting with a viscous sneer as she seethes, "You know what, Emmett? I'm so sick of this moping bullshit. I watched you walk around this entire week just fucking _moping_. What about what _you_ want? I'm actually starting to wonder if you and Bella haven't become delusional. While you two get to sit around playing lovey-dovey house, Edward and I are out there busting our asses in the real world. We work in an office and travel around the world to make deals so you two can have a house to make-out in. So, Emmett, tell me, what the fuck _does_ what _you_ want have to do with a motherfucking thing?"

To say I'm absolutely shocked at her outburst is an understatement. Then, I feel all my anger gather as I think about the five days of Bella completely ignoring me, five days of dwelling on the fact that Edward is going to propose to her soon, five fucking days of feeling alone, and knowing that the weekend is coming and I'll have to see them around the house together. The liquor intensifies my rage as Rose pretty much spits in my face and tells me what I want 'doesn't mean a motherfucking thing.' I'm so done with this bullshit.

I stand up, towering over her as the words spew like acid from my lips, "Don't you dare bring Bella into this, Rose. Don't you dare."

She curves her brow, perhaps to initiate a challenge, but it only further enrages me.

"You pushed me to do this. You. Did. This!" I scream, my voice reverberating around the room as I clench my hands into trembling fists at my side.

_How dare she try to place all the blame on me. I never would have sought out anything with Bella without her encouraging it._

"Fuck you!" she yells, her cheeks flaming red as her anger escalates. "I only gave you permission, I never told you to act on it. I didn't take your dick & place it inside of her, you did that all on your own!"

The level of tension in the room is severely heightened as well as the tone of our voices. I have a feeling that the other occupants in our home are well aware of the fight brewing between Rose and me. I never even wanted to fight with her in the first place. I saw the conversation going down a completely different path than what it had, and even though I'm infuriated, I can feel the urge within me waning. We aren't going to see eye to eye on this, and apparently we are both to blame for the part we played in it.

I blow out a frustrated breath, pushing myself back on the bed to lay down and succeed to her. I mumble, more to myself than anything else, "No wedding, so I guess that means kids are out of the question, too."

"What the hell is your problem tonight?" she shouts, her eyes shooting daggers at me as she walks around the bed to get in my face. _I guess her fire didn't die._

I just roll my eyes, my body feeling heavy with the alcohol coursing through me, suddenly feeling extremely irritated over this whole ordeal.

Rose has other plans, though. I watch as her lips form a tight line as she looks me over accusingly, scrutinizing me with her venomous stare.

"I don't get this," she says exasperatedly, waving her hands back and forth between us. "What? Edward gives you Bella's ring to hold on to and now you're in a mad dash to the altar and knocking me up?"

"Rose," I say, drawing her name out in a warning. "Can we just end this? Forget I said anything."

"NO!" she shrieks, "We can not be done because you're the one that brought it up."

"And now I'm saying it's finished," I holler. "I'm _so_ fucking done having this discussion with you. Drop it."

I roll over on my side to avoid her gaping at me, and appreciate the silence as it settles over the room.

Just as I'm surrendering to the heaviness of my lids, she clears her throat, "I'm sorry, but I won't _drop it_." _Would this woman every let me have the last word?_

"The more I think about you wanting kids, the more I think we aren't ready for any of this. I want it all, but not as badly as you do at the moment. I have ambitions and goals, dreams that I feel I'm entitled to reach. Part of my dream is to be able to stay at home with my children when I bring them in to this world. We both know that I'm used to living a cushioned lifestyle, Emmett. With my parents and my current occupation, I haven't ever and don't presently want for anything. If I want it, I can have it. We need to build up a savings so I can do this later because once I marry you, I don't get to dip in to mommy's and daddy's bank anymore. I'll have to depend on you, and in case you haven't noticed, you didn't go pro. Do you honestly think you'll be able to support a family on a teacher's income of sixty thousand dollars a year?"

I wince at the blow she's delivered, knowing it's a sore spot in _any_ conversation. She knows that I _had_ dreams as well. However, most of them had centered around my hopes of playing pro ball and because of my busted leg, I had to find new dreams.

I'm tired of this room. I'm tired of this conversation. I'm tired of her.

Standing up, I retrieve my pillow from my bed and start walking toward the door.

"Where the hell are you going?" she questions.

"I'm going to the couch, Rose. I have to go figure out how I can support a family on a teacher's income of sixty thousand dollars," I say, defeated. Without ever turning around, I twist the handle and move past the opening, slamming the door once I'm on the other side.

Ego wounded beyond repair, I crawl on to the couch and beg for sleep to take me under.  
_  
_Because the universe is apparently plotting against me, I do not, in fact, fall asleep. I toss and turn repeatedly, staring blankly in the dark as the quiet of the house leaves me with nothing more than my thoughts. My mind trudges up Rose's words, letting them play over and over in my head. _Will I ever be enough for her?_

I hear a door open and close down the hall, and quickly turn on my side to pretend as though I'm asleep. Someone walks behind the couch to the kitchen, and I hear the refrigerator door open and close. Holding my breath, I listen intently as the person starts on their path back toward the hall when suddenly their footsteps falter and I hear a sharp intake of air. I lie completely still, my body nearly quaking with the need to move as I wait for the person to keep walking, but then their footfall changes direction as they start coming toward me.

My body instantly tenses as I recognize her scent while my heart automatically reacts to her nearness by humming violently in my chest. I feel her breath on my cheek as if she's leaning toward me, and it requires every bit of strength I have to keep my eyes squeezed shut and not look at her. She exhales loudly, and I listen as a dull thud sounds from the floor. Chancing a peek, my lungs instantly constrict as I see Bella sitting Indian-style on the floor beside the couch. Her head is bending forward as her hair curls around her shoulders and falls alongside her face, her skin slightly illuminated by the light of the moon casting through the window. My fingers flex, burning with the need to touch her, but I clamp down on my nerves and beg my body to listen just this once. When her face starts to raise, I shut my eyes again.

Her fingers begin to stroke through my hair, and I have to fight down the moan that stems from my throat and work hard to keep my breathing regulated so not to give me away. I nearly startle when she finally speaks because I had been some mesmerized by the feel of her fingertips massaging my scalp. "Emmett, I'm so sorry," she whispers, the warmth of her breath blowing across my lips with the closeness of her mouth. My heart lurches, and I want to jump up and grab her, tell her there's nothing in this world she should be sorry about. I want to say how much I want her and describe the extent in which I need her. I want to explain how much hell I've been through this week and that if she'd just let me hold her now, it'd make all of it disappear. Instead I do and say nothing. I wait for her to continue, and focus on the feel of hands touching me, comforting me.

"I heard you and Rose fighting, and I... I'm so sorry, Em. I can't help but feel like some... or a large portion of this is my fault. You guys have never disagreed on anything, and then tonight you guys are actually shouting at one another," she finishes in more of a question rather than a statement, as if she couldn't wrap her mind around our altercation. _Of course Bella would try to put this off on herself. She would put the world's problems on her shoulders if she could._

She breathes deeply again, seeming to collect her thoughts before her words ghost across my skin, her fingers still working through the curls atop my head.

"Why are we doing this to ourselves? You don't know how many times I've rethought what we've done, wondered how I could have changed it, and imagined how differently things could be for us if we had never touched, never shared that part of ourselves with each other," she says, my heart dropping further with each of her words. _What is she saying? Is she honestly pretending like what we had was nothing, that I'm not anything more than a mistake, a blip in the perfect life she wants to share with Edward?_

Her hand stills and then drops to my cheek, her fingertips sweeping across my cheekbone before her touch flutters over my eyelids and brushes back a wayward curl from my forehead. "I just want to make everything right, but I don't know how. I can't figure out how to make everyone happy again. And then if that's not enough, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind for a second. I know I've been so horrible this week by avoiding you, but I just couldn't face you yet because I honestly don't know what the fuck to do," she admits softly, her words causing my heart to pound forcefully and the joy to bubble inside of me once more. The tiny bit of hope I had held on to so hard this week is given new life, and I have to once again restrain myself from leaping up and pulling her into my arms. I know she's only saying all these things, pouring her heart out to me, because she thinks that I'm asleep.

Finally, she rises to her feet and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. "I just hope you don't hate me for what I'm going to have to do."

I finally open my eyes as I watch her small form retreat down the hall, the darkness swallowing her and taking her away from me again. I don't know what she meant by her final declaration, but I know that I could never hate her. In fact, I'm practically soaring at the moment with all of her confessions.

_

* * *

  
_Waking up the next morning with a crick in my neck and my muscles sore from sleeping on the couch, my day quickly goes to shit. As we all lounge around the house, I find that more often than not, I'm subjected to watching Edward and Bella walk around the house together, cuddling and making goo-goo eyes at one another. The tension remains thick between Rose and I; we hadn't spoken at all today, which is difficult to do when you're living in the same house. She just breezes past me, and she'd appear as nonchalant to others, but I know her and could tell that she was still upset about last night. Furthermore, I still wasn't able to get Bella alone to talk with her.

We've just finished eating dinner together, our meal littered with awkward conversation. Bella did everything in her power to avoid my gaze while Rose scowled at me the entire time. I concentrated on trying to capture glances of Bella, and Edward tried to fill the silence with meaningless chatter. Like I said, it was just awkward.

After eating, I drifted toward the living room to sit on the couch. I scan the space and notice Rose sitting in my chair, deeply engrossed in whatever is on her laptop, tapping away angrily on the keys. Turning on the television, I channel surf for a bit before Bella's giggling catches my attention. Turning around, I watch as her and Edward clear the table together.

Eavesdropping on the lovebirds, I overhear Edward say, "You can go ahead and get ready for bed, baby. I'll do the dishes, it's the least I could after you cooked such a delicious meal." She smiles, and I want to throw up as he punctuates his statement by pulling her body to his, leaning in to kiss her. I decide I've seen enough and walk to the guest bathroom to take a leak. I piss and then move to wash my hands, staring at my pitiful reflection in the mirror.

As I'm making my exit, I hear Bella coming down the hall, her footsteps lightly echoing among the narrow walls. In my desperation to get her alone, I act on complete impulse, grabbing her by her wrist and pulling her into the bathroom with me. I smile down at her in celebration of finally having her all to myself, taking in her wide-eyed expression, her hand splaying across her heart as she makes short, gasping noises. Before I can wrap my mind around what I want to say, she's moving away from me, backing toward the sink, trying to extricate her hand from mine. My smile quickly fades and I don't understand her retreat, so I try follow her, grasping her hand in mine more firmly as I try to figure out why she's pulling away from me. She steadily moves backward, shaking her head 'no' from side to side as she mumbles repetitiously, "Not yet, oh God, not yet." Finally her movements are halted by the sink counter when she bumps in to it. I step closer to her, keeping her wedged between me and it.

"Bella," I say, my voice low and reassuring, my eyes pleading desperately. "Please, don't pull away from me."

I drop her wrist, letting my hands ascend up her body, running my fingers over the outskirts of her frame and relishing the feel of her skin beneath me again. _God, how I had missed her. _

I let my fingers ghost over her throat, cupping her jaw with both of my hands as I stare at her lips, reflexively licking mine as I move in to kiss her. Right before my lips touch hers, she moves her face to the side causing my mouth to rest on her cheek, her eyes cast downward and away from me. I pull away, confused and a little hurt at her refusal to kiss me. _Maybe it's because Edward's in the house._

With my hands still resting along her jaw, I sigh and attempt to pull her face back to meet mine, but she keeps her head down and her eyes shielded. Rubbing my thumbs up and down her neck, I try to coach her chin up, requesting, "C'mon, Pinky, look at me."

I can hear the tremor in her voice as she whispers, "I can't."

"Bella, why not? Look at me," I plead with her, my breathing accelerating as for the hundredth time I have her so near to me, but emotionally she seems so far away.

Again she whimpers, "Please don't make me."

I'm so impatient with our lack of progress, with her running away from me, with our overall lack of any mature, and rational communication, so I take her chin between my thumb and pointer finger and tilt her face up to connect her eyes with mine. What I see causes my heart to shatter into a million pieces. Her brown eyes are glistening with pools of tears, her lips quivering as she stares openly at me.

"Hey...what is this?" I question desperately. "I don't understand, have I done something wrong? I thought we-" I start to say in a panic before she cuts me off.

"Em," she begs, large tears finally spilling over and running along her cheeks, "Don't do this. I can't. Please don't make me do this now."

She shrugs out from beneath me, pushing me away as my hands instantly drop from her face. She then marches a few feet away, stopping at the door, turning around to look at me a final time. "Look, I love Edward. I love _him_, okay? I just...love him," she whispers again, and even though I know how she feels about him, even though I have no right to care, her words tear through me and nearly strangle my beating heart.

Then, I am angry again. Furious, even.

The frustration and complete hopelessness over this situation hits me again like a ton of bricks, and even if I want to stop myself from speaking, I know I can't, I know it will be an impossible task.

"Yeah, Bella, that's fine. Go ahead, walk away, it seems to be a skill you've perfected recently."

Her eyes go wide before she's whispering furiously, "What the _hell_ is that suppose to mean?" _So she wants to play it this way, does she? Game on, baby._

I scoff at her question. "Oh, I don't know. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I woke up in a big ass bed alone when the girl I fucked the day before was nowhere to be found. Maybe it means I came running home every single damn day from work hoping for a chance to talk to you, but take a guess who never was at home. Maybe it has something to do with the only reason we're even having this fucking conversation at the moment is because I had to drag your ass into a bathroom so I could even get a word in. And guess what, Bella, you're still trying to run away," I finish, my volume elevating with each question.

Taking a breath, I continue asking, "Why can't you just _talk_ to me? Don't you think I'm owed an explanation at all? Am I not allowed this one fucking courtesy?"

By the time I finish my rant, my chest is rising and falling rapidly and my heart is thundering in my ears. I acknowledge in my mind that I've had more disagreements in these past two days than I've had in the past ten years.

I watch as she opens and closes her mouth several times, the tears steadily streaming down her face as she searches for something to say. Part of me wants to wipe the moisture from her cheeks and apologize for being the one to make her cry, but my feet stay planted to the floor as I observe her from a few feet away.

The silence between us is practically deafening, but a moment later, she turns away from me and reaches with trembling fingers to the doorknob. Twisting it in her hand, she murmurs softly, "Emmett, I really am sorry, but we can't do this."

The text flashes in my mind and every thought in my brain is screaming for me to stop her, tell her how I feel, do anything rather than allow her to get away. I know I won't have this opportunity again, but the only thing I can focus on is the overwhelming hurt of being shut down by her once more. Her words from the night before are lost on me as the stinging sensations seeps from my heart and leaks into my body. I'm physically exhausted with this past week's events, mentally exhausted from all of my rejection, so I just let all my anger and heartache weave into my words. "Yeah, Bella, I read your text. Consider your message heard loud and fucking clear."

Her head slumps forward as she wrenches the door open and races out of it. I reach forward and slam it behind her, sliding down the wooden surface to sit on the cold floor and wallow in my despair.

_Fuck it all._

_

* * *

_**A/N: This chapter was like pulling teeth, which funny enough (or painfully enough) I have to have done on the 28th surgically, part of the reason why I've been absent. Pain meds aren't conducive to writing well.**

**My usual thank you's to the people that mean the most. Rhi, for your unwavering love and support. You complete me.**

**My loving BBR, SOB, and RAoR h00rs, your encouragement fuels my soul.**


	15. Chapter 15: God Hates Me

*flails arms* Hello to all my new readers and hugs to all those that came back. You're continued support rocks mah socks! I wish I could come snuggle each and everyone of you that reads, reviews, favorites, or alerts.

And can I get a "Hell yeah?!?" I think I managed to update in a reasonable amount of time considering I survived surgery and a TORNADO! Life has certainly been dishing me my fair share.

Music for this chapter: "Raining Again" by Staind & "Over and Over" by Three Days Grace

Polyvore outfits are in my profile.

****Disclaimer**:** _All the characters, music, and movies belong to their respected owners. I only own a heap of kickass pain meds and a large bill. No copyright infringement intended._

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**"Chapter 15: God Hates Me"**

_**BPOV**_

The further I walk away from the bathroom, the harder and faster my tears trail down my cheeks. I choke hard, swallowing back a particularly loud sob as I clutch at the wall to support me. My heart is beating achingly in my chest, pounding painfully against my ribs as I continue on my trek toward my room. Sliding inside my bedroom, I slump slowly down the door, easing my grief-stricken body toward the floor. I wrap my arms around my stomach, hoping that if I hold myself tight enough, some of the pain and nausea will dissipate and the thought of breathing wouldn't hurt as bad. It's all my fault, my unhappiness no single person's burden to bear but my own. Blankly, I stare up at the ceiling in a room draped with darkness as the last few minutes of my life continuously pass behind my eyes like a mirage set on repeat.

_My heartbeat rapped swiftly in my chest because of the feel of his heated palm wrapped around my wrist, covertly pulling me into the bathroom. His nearness began to cloud my mind as he backed me against the sink and his hands smoothed over the trembling skin of my body. His touch held promises of passion, his strong but gentle movements telling me how much he had missed me. I held my breath as I averted my eyes, trying to fight the urge to look up at him like I so desperately wanted to do._

_He was making me do it too soon. I hadn't planned on letting him go just yet. Selfishly, I wanted to hold on to the last images of him I had in my head, the ones of adoration from a week ago when he moved with an amazing sensual intimacy behind me. I longed to hold the picture of him laying on the couch, so pure and a heart so big and full that it made mine crave his more, in my mind just a little longer. I had managed fairly well with doing this by me avoiding him, but now… now he was giving me no choice. _

_I held back a sigh as his hands ran the course along my throat that they knew so well, causing the goosebumps to trail behind his fingertips, and fought against the natural yearning of my body to lean into his touch. As his lips descended near mine, I begrudgingly turned my face so that they rested on my cheek. Their warmth and tenderness were not lost on me and caused the pain to amplify further throughout my body. He begged me to look into his eyes, and I couldn't, didn't desire to behold the hurt in his soul as I told him that I couldn't have him anymore. Without a doubt, the feelings of something more had lurked below the depth of his shadowed eyes, and I knew he would unfold once he learned the truth. The truth being that what we had between us, the relationship that was beginning to take shape, wasn't an option any longer. I had thought to myself,_ oh God, how was I going to do this? I had to physically remove myself from the apartment this week to limit our interaction, and that alone and been one of the hardest things I had ever done. _The tears immediately prickled in my eyes as I pictured the rest of my days without him, how much I'd miss his presence in my life and the amount of desire in he held in a single touch._

_Again, he didn't let me have the easy way out. Taking my chin between two of his fingers, he lifted my eyes to meet his and the amount of despair I saw his icy blues made my heart plummet from my chest. My lip quivered involuntarily as I thought about the imminent heartbreak about to ransack us both. I wondered to myself, _when had both of us gotten in so deep? Even though our friendship had spanned over years, we had only been intimate for just under a month. One month, really? It felt like it had been ages since that abandoned football field. Sex with him was suppose to be uncomplicated, so when had it become the opposite?

_And then he apologized and asked if he had done something wrong, and the tears finally started falling from my eyes as I stood there and watched him beat himself over something he had no control over. I rushed to stop him, to keep him from thinking for a second that he did anything wrong to me, even though all the things we had done were so very wrong. I pleaded with him for more time, to prolong the inevitable conversation we were going to have to have even though I knew I was grasping at straws._

_I eased out of his hold, and walked the few steps to the door, turning my head around to face him one last time. Where my next words came from, I didn't know, but I said it, even if it was a whisper. "Look, I love Edward. I love him, okay? I just...love him." Who I was trying to convince more, myself or Emmett, I didn't know. _

_He physically blanched as the words escaped my lips, and in that moment, I wanted to catch them in the air and stuff them back in my mouth. But then his face contorted as he angrily sneered, "Yeah, Bella, that's fine. Go ahead, walk away, it seems to be a skill you've perfected recently."_

_I should of expected his angry words, but I was shocked that he said them nonetheless. I was doing this for everyone. Could he honestly think I wanted this? I was trying to fix the fucked-up situation we had found ourselves in. I was doing this for _him_, for _them.

_Then he was ranting, he was livid as he poured his heart out with a fury directed at me that I'd never seen from him before. He reprimanded my disappearing acts and scolded me for still trying to run away. Hurt, he begged me to _talk_ to him._

_I opened and closed my mouth with several failed attempts of doing just that, trying to talk to him, but the words were so far beyond my reach. The tears were falling heavily from my eyes at this point, but I made no effort to wipe them from my face. I wanted him to at least know this was hurting me, too. He deserved to know that much, even if I couldn't find the words to tell him so. The air around us laid thick and charged with silence as we just stared at one another. Finally, I gave up on the finding the right sentiment to say and turned toward the door. If anything, I could give him an apology and closure, even if it wasn't the kind he wanted. I whispered, "Emmett, I really am sorry, but we can't do this."_

_The finality of it weighed heavy on me as I turned the doorknob slowly with trembling fingers, but before I was able to escape, his voice shattered my heart completely. _

_"Yeah, Bella, I read your text. Consider your message heard loud and fucking clear."_

_I couldn't get out of the room quick enough. The walls were closing in on me and it hurt to breathe. Trying to pull the necessary oxygen into my body was probably the only task that kept me from killing over in the hallway. Hearing him slam the door when I was halfway down the hall added that extra sense of completion to it all._

Frantically wiping the tears away from my face, I realize that at some point during my woeful recollection, my body had fallen onto the cold, hardwood floor. Just as I'm pushing myself up off the ground, the door opens and smacks me in my leg. A strangled yelp rushes from my throat as I cover me eyes from the blinding light that suddenly fills the room.

"Oh my God, Bella, why are you on the floor? Did I hurt you?" Edward hurriedly questions. Scooping me up in his arms, I turn in to his embrace, finding a sense of comfort with his rhythmic heartbeat against my cheek. I continue to cry into his shirt as I wrap my arms around his neck while he moves us to the bed. Soothingly, he rubs my back and rocks me as he rests his chin against my hair.

After a few minutes of time filled with my endless blubbering and weeping passes, Edward finally leans back to gaze at me. Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, he exhales softly and questions, "Jesus, Bella, what's going on with you?"

I thought I had my tears under control, but with his gentle tone and inquiry, I fall apart again. Between gasping breaths and stuttering sobs, all I can manage to get out is "Emmett... Emmett and I... he just..." before my words trail off and fresh tears drown the syllables in my throat.

I watch as his beautiful features become an angry arrangement of snarling lips and slanted eyes. He questions heatedly, "What the hell did he do to you, Bella?"

I clutch as his shirt, balling it in my fist as I shake my head vehemently, knowing he was misunderstanding my words. _God, if I could just quit being a fumbling idiot for five seconds to get these words out, that would be fucking great._

Taking a deep breath, I stutter, "No, it-it wa-wasn't him. He didn't do anything."

His face softens marginally as his brows furrow, "I'm not sure I understand."

Sniffling, I wipe my tears with the back of my hand as I whisper, "There's nothing _to _understand. Just know that Emmett and I, we... we won't be doing _that_ anymore."

I felt, rather than saw, the muscles in his arm flex as he spoke neutrally, "Oh, I see."

I hated the way his voice sounded in that instant. I hated that I had to tell him that I had just ended things with another guy, much less the guy that lives just down the hall and his supposed best friend. The only way this situation could possibly get worse is if something came out about Edward and Rosalie sleeping together. This was so _fucked_.

Easing me out of his lap, he positions me on the bed next him and takes my hand in his, rubbing invisible circles across the ring finger on my left hand. I try really hard not to cringe, especially because I know he's doing it absentmindedly.

Licking his lips, he asks cautiously, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head 'no' and answer, "Not really. Not at all."

I watch as relief floods his face and he visibly sighs. "Okay. Good, okay. So, we should be getting ready for bed, no? I have an early day tomorrow."

I nod my head and mumble a "Mmm-hmm." Standing up and crossing the room, I start retrieving my pajamas when he states excitedly, "But early mornings mean I get to come home early, too. That's something to look forward to, right?"

"Yeah, yeah it is."

With both of us in our pajamas and bathroom business finished for the evening, we crawl into bed together. He tugs me to his side, and I wrap my arms around the middle of his torso, relaxing against the warmth of his body. Leaning down, he continues with his nightly routine as his lips hover over mine. Instead of the heated kiss he usually gives me, he settles for a gentle peck before smoothing my hair back away from my face. "I love you, Bella. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Edward."

Sleep didn't find me easy that night, and when I finally succumbed to my emotional exhaustion, I was restless.

* * *

As the morning light burns through my eyelids, I lick my dry lips and roll over. My arms search across the bed for the solace of Edward's body as I prepare an apology in my mind for my behavior the night before. Feeling his empty spot, my eyes pop open and I jump out of bed in hopes of catching him before he leaves for work. However, because of my constant tossing and turning during the night, the sheets are wrapped around my legs and I flop onto the floor with a loud _thump_. Finally untangling the material from my limbs, I use the bed to pull myself back up to a standing position before I sprint to the door and throw it open.

Running out into the hallway, I collide with a damn wall of muscle, shouting, "Ouch. Fuck!"

I stumble backwards, rubbing the sore spot in my sternum as my eyes slowly raise to meet Emmett's concerned ones. Reaching out, his hand makes contact with my forearm as he states, "Whoa, easy now. Did I hurt you?"

I shy away from his touch, pulling out of his reach while biting my lip because of the awkwardness of the situation. Us alone and him touching me has never led to anything more than a fuckton of pleasure and a guilty conscience later. Assuredly, rejecting him is for the best.

I watch as he tries to reign in his hurt expression, effectively covering it with his furious questioning, "Wow, really? Is this how things are going to be between us now?"

_Seriously, my new mission statement in life should read something like, "Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. At all cost, avoid."_

Trying to peer around his wide frame, I stutter over my words like the complete imbecile I've become in recent months. "Edward... I need to... is he still here?"

I cower slightly with the murderous glint in his eyes and the way his jaw is suddenly clenching. Actually, I think I may even hear his teeth grinding. It takes me back to the time at the gym when he overreacted to James's advances. I beat back the part of my brain that wants to say that his almost violent reaction is intriguing and hot by reminding myself that I should be none of his concern and definitely not a person he should have jealousy issues with.

With his tone clipped, he barks out, "No, it's after eleven o'clock. He's been gone for hours."

Finding my voice, I whisper intelligently, "Oh, okay."

Turning around, I retreat back into my room like my ass is on fire and hurriedly close the door. Resting against it, I dig the heel of palms into my eyes while shaking my head from side to side, muttering, "Stupid, stupid."

Banging my head against the wood for a solid minute, I finally let it loll to the side to look at the clock on the nightstand. Sure enough, fucking eleven twenty-seven. If I had just taken the time to check the damn clock before I lept out of bed, that whole _episode_ outside my door could have been avoided.

I bang my head against the door again. _Stupid._

Now I'm stuck here- no Edward, no Rosalie in sight, but instead with a whole lot of pissed off, brokenhearted Emmett, and the only buffer between him and I is this thin door that I keep hitting my head against. _I'm so screwed. I really need to get the fuck out of here._

After a quick shower and approximately thirty minutes later, I'm standing in front of my mirror with a white tank and a pair of denim shorts. Quickly, I pull my hair up halfway and secure it with a clip and throw on a little perfume before I walk to the door. Pressing my ear against it, I listen briefly to see if I can hear anything moving about. When I decide the coast is clear, I emerge. Exhaling, I thank the heavens that the hall is empty as I make my way toward the front door. Picking up my keys, I'm startled by Emmett's voice when he states, "You might want to grab an umbrella. It's suppose to rain, and from what I can remember, cats don't like the water; especially scaredy cats. I bet chickens don't like the water either."

_Asshole. And did he seriously just say 'scaredy cat,' are we five?_

Instead of allowing myself to engage with him like he wants, I storm out the door, slamming it behind me. And, without the motherfucking umbrella. Internally, I may have given myself a fist pump.

However, getting inside my truck and pulling out into the highway, I feel like slapping myself. The thunderheads are building up higher and higher into the atmosphere, and we are so going to get pounded with rain at some point today. I just hope like hell it holds off until I get home this afternoon so I can toss a smug, 'haha fucker' look in Emmett's direction.

* * *

Lunch, an application from the locally owned bookstore, BookPeople, safely tucked in my purse, and three hours later, I found myself standing in front of a beautifully round head of lettuce.

As I hold it in my hand, gently turning it over in observation, I notice how it's the perfect shade of green, how complexly the leaves curl in on themselves, and how appropriate the portion size is, but I can't decide why all this bugs me and I hadn't thrown it in the cart at once. Any other given customer would walk up, see this perfectly-placed lettuce, sitting perfectly cozy among the other lesser lettuces, and would immediately grab it and take it home.

I get angry at myself. Why can't I be that person? Why can't I see _perfection _and want it, feel like I deserve it? Why have I always been admirer of the great arts, but never felt myself worthy of being part of the picture? I want someone to paint me dammit! _Bitter much?_

Refocusing my attention, I decide it's a bit too perfect in all it's stupid perfection, and it even makes me feel inferior to it. Me, _Bella fucking Swan, _is feeling inferior to a lettuce. _God help us all._

Still, I didn't want to break apart and cut up such an amazing head of lettuce, so I place it back down. Letting my eyes travel over the other choices, a subtle hint of a smile tugs at my lips when I see a larger one hidden in the back. Picking it up, I giggle to myself because my hands are so overtly dwarfed by it. Its leaves flop over because of their heaviness and the green shading of it is obnoxiously vibrant. For some reason, this one tugs at my heartstrings and I just want to cuddle it in all its unruly, odd-looking greatness.

_Cuddle with lettuce? Am I fucking PMS-ing?_

Quite possibly, all rationale may have left my brain today, but I did know one thing; this lettuce didn't make me feel like I was less than average standing next to it. See, this lettuce understands. It had been pushed to the back, hidden by all the others with it's flawed floppiness. It makes me feel comforted because we could be oddly perfect together.  
_  
_Nonetheless, I want to be positive about my choice, so I pick the first one back up. Holding them side by side, I exercise the pros and cons of these two polar opposites, except for the fact that they're the exact same vegetable, in my head. _Perfect yet a bit monotonous or humorous and fun?_

Then it fucking dawns on me. I'm not comparing damn heads of lettuce, I'm comparing the men in my life!

Being the mature adult that I am, I throw both those motherfuckers down and pick up a random, obscure head of lettuce that can in no way relate to anything Edward or Emmett, and dump it into the cart with a surrendering sigh.

Checking my watch, and feeling confident that Edward and Rose are at home by now, I head to the checkout. Swiping Edward's debit card, I take my receipt and start pushing the cart toward my truck. Looking up at the sky, I walk a little faster because the wind is snarling and furiously whipping my hair around my face. I hurriedly tuck the groceries in the bed of my truck and cover them up with the plastic that I keep back there for this very reason. Taking the cart back to the store- _I would hate for them to have to come retrieve it in the rain_- I start running back to the truck. My flipflops are smacking against the pavement, and I curse myself for parking at the end of the lot.

And wouldn't you know it? Apparently God is part of the master plan to completely fuck my day, and he picks this _exact_ moment to dump an ocean's amount of water right on top of my head. So, picking up speed, I try running faster to quickly get out of dodge and in the dry, front cab of my vehicle. _I can already feel it's warmth calling my name._

Despite the extremely graceful maneuvering skills I possess, one moment I'm running and the next I'm skidding and falling down.

I immediately feel the familiar pop and sting, as I cry out and clutch my wrist haphazardly. _Motherfucker! Ouch, ouch, OUCH! Seriously, fuck it._

I sit there. Sit there on the hard as hell, dirty-ass pavement looking up to the sky, letting the water continue to rain down on me as I curse the heavens and this awful, piss poor day. Part of me thinks I deserve every single thing that's happening, but really? REALLY? I know I haven't been the best of people in the last few weeks, but wasn't there worse people to torture? If God felt like serving up some poetic justice, why not go put a sociopath in a torture chamber or something?

The next thing I know, I'm chuckling loudly as I stare at my broken flipflop, letting me feet sway left and right in the gathering puddle at my feet. With my good hand, I let my fingers dip into the murky stream of water flowing freely beside me, swirling it around in rippling circles. My laughter gets louder and harder to suppress as I think of all the irony. If I would have done a million things differently today, some or none of this would have happened. Most importantly, if I wasn't a 'scaredy cat' and just stayed at home or hadn't been so stubborn and grabbed the fucking umbrella, I wouldn't be sitting in the middle of a supermarket parking lot, with a sprained wrist, getting dowsed with a thundering Austin downpour.

Sucking in a large breath, I brush the hair that's plastered to my forehead away from my face with my left palm and decide that even though my day has been complete shit, I'm not too keen on committing suicide and get up. _Death by electrocution, I think not._

I kick off my favorite pair of flops and throw them in the truck, trying to decide whether I'm more pissed that they're ruined or that they failed me. After a loud clap of thunder and scary lightning strike, I quickly jump in the truck and secure my hurt, right wrist to the groove in my lap.

Slumping forward, I rest my head on the steering wheel and allow the salty tears I've been holding back to trail thick and hot down my puffy cheeks. I've been sitting here for literally five minutes trying to figure out how to turn the damn key with my left hand. I tried going around the steering wheel, over it, under it, through the lower hole, and nothing would work. My arms are short and I'm just tired, emotionally overwhelmed, and beyond frustrated. I can't stop the flow of moisture. The more I try to reign them in, the faster they seem to fall, so I just give in. They cascade down my face and collect on my clothes, chest, and hand. I weep for my confused mind, for my aching heart, and my injured wrist. My whole body is shaking as I allow the sobs to gain strength and momentum, and my side hurts from trying to catch quick breaths of air. It appears that I'm trying to compete with the storm outside as I groan and gasp, blubber and wail, but as quick as my emotional outburst comes, it disappears.

I sit up, take a deep breath, and rub the snot and tears off on my shoulders. I feel particularly disgusting. My clothes are stuck to my body in wrinkles and funk, my cheeks feel tight because of the drying tears and being battered by the wind, and my feet are sitting barefoot in the grime on my floorboard. _I could really use a long, hot bubble bath._

As a last resort, I scoot to the middle of my benchseat in my truck. This allows me direct assess to the keyhole, and I'm _finally_ able to turn it over. Hearing the truck rumble to life beneath me, I almost become giddy with relief and can't believe that I didn't think of this sooner. Turning the center knob, the air conditioner comes on full blast, cooling my heated skin and making me shiver.

* * *

I trudge through the steady streams of pelting rain to the house with bare feet, carefully holding my wrist to my body with my sandals tucked under my arm. Upon approaching the door to our apartment, I take a deep breath and blow it out in a rush, hoping to calm my frayed nerves. Stepping inside, my eyes flash directly to Edward's messy hair sprouting in several directions from atop the cushions of the couch while the sounds of his furious typing attack my ears, and my tense body loosens immediately. With my teeth chattering, I step inside the chilled, air-conditioned space of my home, thankful to have this day almost over and the reprieve of my warm bed a few feet away.

From my right, I hear rummaging in the refrigerator and turn my head to the side, knowing who it is before I actually see him. Sucking in a gust of air, I feel my jaw come unhinged as I observe biceps peeking from underneath the sleeve of a tight black tee, the shirt twisting and turning, molding to the muscles of his back as he digs through the fridge's contents, and he's wearing some charcoal cargo shorts. I really, really love cargo shorts, especially the way they always sit low on his hips. I lick my lips and attempt to compose myself just as he stands up and faces me. Slowly, a smirk works across his face and he snorts. Instantly, all the heat built up in me over surveying his body turns ice cold and I sneer at him.

"She leaves as a cat, comes back a drowned mouse," he says with a smug expression. _Asshole._

Just as I'm about to make a snide remark of my own, his eyes travel to my wrist and he laughs. The motherfucker laughs at me. "Fall again, Bella?"

I can feel my face growing red out of anger and embarrassment, and my words fly out of my mouth on their own accord. "For your information, no, I punched the deli boy in his nose when he grabbed my ass!"

Then there it is, the murderous glint in his eye as he moves to examine my wrist. Carefully, he picks it up in his large hands and I try to suppress the shiver that runs down my spine when he touches me- always so direct and purposeful, but gentle. His eyebrows furrow as he leans his face in to get a better look, and the less mature person in me just wants to yank it away from him, but I don't because I know it will hurt like hell. He lightly rotates it, peering at it from several angles and occasionally his eyes wonder to my chest. When I finally take notice to his wandering eyes, I let my gaze shift and immediately flush. My white top is completely see through and the sheer bra I have on isn't leaving much to the imagination. I want to slap him in the head because I now realize he's been ogling my tits. On the other hand, I could be counted as guilty for doing the exact same thing. _Those who live in glasses houses and all that shit..._

When I try to pull my wrist out of his grip, he tilts his head to the side and looks up at me, his eyes alight with fire. Enraged, he whispers irrationally, "I'm going to kill that little fucker."

"Get in line, he's mine," Edward growls, and it startles me because I had forgotten he was even home, much less noticed that he had moved to the kitchen. Nudging Emmett out of the way, he states firmly, "Thanks, Emmett, but I think I've got it from here."

Emmett's eyes squint marginally before he places a tight-lipped smile on his face and steps aside with a sarcastic sweep of his hand. "By all means."

Edward offers a tentative smile as he takes my appearance in and I assess his as well. He's still in his work attire, blue button-down shirt, navy tie and matching trousers. I like the way the pale blue of the shirt accentuates the tone of his skin and how the tailoring of the shirt shows off his broad shoulders. His jaw is taut and angular, appearing sharp enough to cut through skin. His hair is wildly disheveled, pair that with the loud typing when I came through the door, and I begin to wonder if he is stressing over happenings at work. Still, he's absolutely beautiful, so... perfect. I smile back at him. I should feel lucky.

Kneeling down on one knee, I get too distracted by Emmett's coughing fit to have a reaction of my own. Edward picks up my wrist and brushes his thumb over the bone, causing me to wince. He immediately apologizes and I wave it off, but Emmett steps closer to us, hovering above as he gruffly whispers, "Clearly you _don't_ have it from here."

I give him a warning glance and he puts his hands up in mock surrender, but doesn't retreat back to his previous perch.

Releasing my wrist, Edward turns his head and looks at Emmett, asking, "Do we have a problem here because I'm pretty sure I'm capable of taking care of _my _girlfriend?"

I feel tiny and backed into a corner, suffocated as I watch them stare at one another, heat and energy radiating off each of them. I see the collision approaching, but don't know what the fuck to do to stop it.

Emmett scoffs, "Nope, no problem at all. Although, I'm not sure about your _capability_ seeing as if you were truly taking care of her, you would have known that the little pimply fuck from the supermarket has been hitting on her for _months_."

Edward stands up at this, his eyes daggers and his words venomous as he spews, "Well, I guess that doesn't make you any better, does it? You _did_ know, and that little bastard was still alive to grab her ass."

It's like a tennis match in slow motion, I watch as they launch their words between one another, each response escalating the blaze between them. Their argument rattles me, and causes my lunch to curdle in my stomach. I can't find my voice, and I'm cemented to the floor, powerless to intervene.

My heart thunders in my ears as I watch Emmett take a step toward Edward, rubbing his jaw as he ponders his next words. "Well, maybe I would have stepped in had I felt like it was my place. Like you said, she's _your_ girlfriend." Then he mumbles almost inaudibly, "Although, I didn't hear her complaining when I 'stepped in' in the past."

My eyes become as large as saucers when his words reverberate in my brain. _Oh no, oh God no! This is bad, this is so fucking bad!_

Edward's chest expands as he sucks in a shaky breath, fuming his voice booms, "What the _fuck_ did you just say to me?"

Emmett grins mockingly, reiterating, "I said-"

His words are cut off as heels stampede into the kitchen, Rose coming out of the hallway and shouting, "What the hell is going on in here? Bella?"

I shrug. "They were-"

She cuts me off. "Bella, that was rhetorical. I could here them arguing in the bedroom."

Weakly, I respond, "Oh."

Turning to Emmett, she says, "Edward will go kick his ass because _he_ is her boyfriend. If he allows you to tag along, fine and dandy. End of discussion."

Emmett scowls. "Fuck that. What is pretty boy going to do, knock him over with his wallet?"

Edward pushes on his shoulder, spitting, "Fuck you, Man!"

Emmett laughs cockily and moves toward him. "You must seriously have a death wish."

Rosalie grabs Emmett around his arm, tugging him and fiercely questions, "What the _hell_ has gotten in to you? He's your best friend."

Emmett jerks his arm away from her, throwing his hands around animatedly, "Me! Why the fuck don't you ask what his problem is?"

Rose states heatedly, "Because we all know his problem is-"

I've had enough so I scream at the top of my lungs, grasping at my hair with my left hand, "WILL EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?"

When I have all of their attention, I try to steady my breathing as my chest rises and falls with exasperation.

"No one touched my ass, no one got punched, I fucking fell. Okay? Jesus, what the hell is wrong with all of you people? I feel like I just stepped in some alternate universe or a damn mad house or something. It's a sprain, a fucking _sprain._"

I turn my back on them and finally move away from the door that I barely even got past when I got home, stomping toward the freezer. I grab a towel out of the drawer and start packing it with ice. From my periphery, I see Rose touch Emmett's arm, whispering, "Behave." I start packing the ice harder. Rose with her perfect clothes and hair, manicured nails and gorgeous clothes, maybe if I were more like her, I'd feel worthy enough to be with Edward.

Shaking those thoughts from my head, I dig through our medical supplies and look for the ace bandage as she walks up to me. Just as I open my mouth to apologize, another disagreement between Edward and Emmett starts unfolding.

"No, we'll definitely take my Volvo. It's safer."

"Who cares about safety, my Jeep can barrel through traffic. Plus, it's roomier and she'll be comfortable."

"I assure you the leather in my Volvo is plenty comfortable and she won't get jostled around as much."

Tuning them out, Rosalie turns to face me. "What has gotten in to them?"

Guilty, I shrug and answer, "No clue, but they're acting ridiculous."

Rose replies, "I'm so with you on that." Then noticing the bandage, she motions to it, "Need some help?"

I smile, "Please."

After we finish and secure it with the pin, I grab my towel filled with ice, and Rose and I walk back the short distance to the guys.

Acknowledging us, Emmett clears his throat while Edward proudly states, "We came to a compromise. I'm going to take you in the Volvo, and Emmett and Rose will follow us up in the Jeep just in case they keep you overnight."

I laugh openly. "Overnight! Seriously, Edward?"

At this Rose snorts, adding in, "Yeah, while you fuckwits were arguing over bullshit, Bella and I took care of it. No need for a hospital now."

Catching Emmett's eye, he smiles sheepishly and I just shake my head disapprovingly.

I sigh and address everyone, "Look, I'm really tired and cold. I just want to take a long bath and forget this day ever happened. Will somebody make sure the groceries make it in the house at some point today?"

Without waiting for an answer, I start walking down the hall to my room with Edward hot on my heels. When we're almost at our door, I hear Emmett holler, "Don't worry about the groceries, let the guy with all the brawn save the day!"

It's followed by a loud smack and Emmett yelping, "Ouch! Fucking hell, Rose!" I swallow down a chuckle.

Once inside the room, I go straight to the bathroom and start a bubble bath. After a few minutes, when I'm settling into the steaming water, Edward walks into the small room with his head down and his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He struts over to the tub and sits down on the step next to it.

Letting out a breath, he looks up at me. His brows are scrunched tightly together and his eyes are searching. Reaching up with my dripping fingers, I try to smooth out the deep-set line between his eyes. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Bella, I don't know how to say this without being direct, so I'm just going to say it. I think... I think we need to talk about what just happened back there. I think Emmett, I think he-"

I interrupt him, clearly sticking to my choice of avoidance, asking, "Edward, I'm sorry, can we just not talk about this right now? I've had a shitty day, my wrist is throbbing, and I just want to relax and go to sleep."

I watch as his adam's apple bobs when he swallows and he nods his head, "Of course, babe, I shouldn't have... I'm sorry. We'll talk about this some other time. Can I get you anything?"

I feel like a bitch. He's feeling guilty and probably hurt, needing reassurance that he and I are still okay, and all I can think is that I don't want to deal with it. I just want all of it to go away, disappear.

"I could take some Motrin and a forget-the-fuckery pill."

He laughs lightly and stands up. Leaning over, he kisses me softly on my forehead saying, "I'll be right back," before he disappears out of the doorway.

* * *

I wake up during the middle of night, shrouded in darkness with my body trembling relentlessly. There's a tremendous pressure in my head and my throat is outrageously sore, causing me to croak when I try to cough. With my teeth chattering, I whisper hoarsely, "Edward...Edward, I need... help."

He rouses slowly, his voice thick with sleep when he answers, "Yeah?"

Tears start leaking from the corner of my eyes because the pain that's building in my skull is unbearable, and I try to sit up, effectively bending my hurt wrist and I cry out. Edward sits up quickly, flicking on the bedside lamp, asking, "Bella, what's wrong?"

I continue to sob, my tone coming out dry and scratchy when I try to answer, "Pain, so much pain. Oh God, I'm so sick." I fall into a particularly rough coughing fit that causes my head to throb harshly and my chest to burn, my throat catching fire as the coughs refuse to cease.

He reaches across to sweep the hair away from my clammy forehead, his face instantly contorting as he states, "You're burning up. I'm going to go get some medicine, I'll be right back."

I tuck the covers around me, bringing them as far up to my chin as possible, continuing to shiver uncontrollably while I wait for him.

Running back into the room, Edward offers me two pills and some Gatorade that I down instantly with a wince.

Satisfied, he climbs back into bed, shutting off the light and pulling me across the bed until my back is rested against his chest. Leaning over, he sweeps the hair away from my neck and places a soft kiss against my throat. "Get some rest, baby."

I sniffle and nod, closing my eyes and ease into sleep within minutes.

In what feels s like a matter of minutes, Edward's alarm in ringing, causing me to stir in sleep and massage my temple haphazardly with my one good hand. "Make it stop," I beg, the screeching too much to handle when my head is pounding this horribly.

"Sorry," he says, effectively shutting up the noise.

Rolling over, he kisses my forehead stating, "Still a little warm, how are you feeling?"

Coughing, I wheeze, "Like fucking shit, just kill me now."

He laughs lightly, squeezing my body closer to his and says, "I wish I could stay home with you today, but I have this really important meeting I can't miss. Maybe I should have... _Emmett_ check in on you every so often?"

With my voice resembling a dying frog, I refute, "I don't need a babysitter."

"Don't pout, Bella. Normally I'd say you can handle yourself, but you can't even raise your head up, much less get out of bed," he counters. I want to argue, but I know he's right, the thought of even opening my eyes seems like an impossible task.

Licking my dry lips, I retort, "Whatever. Go tell him."

He chuckles quietly, his chest rumbling beside me as he nuzzles my neck. "You shouldn't be so difficult. Let people take care of you."

I huff and jut out my bottom lip before I start coughing, gasping every time I try to catch a breath.

Standing up, he leans across the bed and whispers, "If you're still this bad when I get home, I'm taking you to the doctor. I'll have Emmett call me at work if you get any worse and I'll come straight home, I promise."

* * *

I don't recall hearing Edward leave, and I can't pick out what hour in the day it is. The only gage I have for time is the amount of light that penetrates the room. I stay asleep most of the morning, waking occasionally to pull the covers over me or toss them off as my body temperature fluctuates between hot and cold. Voids are filled with coughing fits and moaning, ghostly whispers and featherlight touches the only reassurance that I'm not alone.

At one point, I wake up to Emmett sitting beside me on the bed, his eyes concerned as his fingers brush across my cheek and move a wayward curl away from face. He smiles and softly questions, "Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?"

Sighing, I shake my head and close my eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingers on my heated skin.

"Are you sure, Bella? I can get you anything you need," he questions insistently, worry causing his eyes to crinkle in the corners.

"I'm sure," I screech, wincing and swallowing painfully.

"Okay, we'll I'm going to bring you some more medicine. I'll be right back," he states, gently pushing himself off the bed.

I close my eyes again and nod my head.

Coming back in the room, he offers me the pills and I take them. He sits back down beside me in the bed and starts humming. I'm caught of guard because when we used to play around together singing songs in his jeep or around the house, he always seemed pitchy, but this is nice. Rolling over, I let his relaxing tenor lull me to sleep as he rubs my back soothingly.

At some point later in the day, when the sun is low in the sky and casting shadows across my room, I'm awaken to the sound of male's voices murmuring. I try to pull myself from my hazy slumber, but it's too difficult. The tones come in and out, disjointed like a bad frequency radio.

"She's been asleep most of the day. Her fever's gone down considerably."

"That's good. Is she still coughing?"

"Not as bad, it seems like it's passing. She'll need another dose of meds in about an hour."

"I appreciate you taking care of her today, Emmett."

"It's no problem."

I hear the door close, and I'm left in silence again.

* * *

Edward wakes me up the next morning by rubbing his hands up and down my side, causing my skin to shiver from his touch. When I open my eyes, he smiles at me and asks, "How are you feeling?"

I clear my throat before answering, "Better. I still feel pretty achy, but not as bad as yesterday."

I let my eyes wonder over him, taking in his suit as he's already dressed for work. His minty breath washes over me as he leans in to kiss the tip of my nose. "Well, that's good. Do you think I need to stay home or will you be okay?"

I run my fingers through his hair and then lean my forehead against his chin. "I think I'll be fine," I answer honestly.

He turns his head to the side, resting his cheek against my hair as he states, "Okay, well, I'll have my cell on my all day, but I'll be in and out of meetings. If you can't reach me, call Rose or leave a message with one of my secretaries. I want you to take it easy today. Stay in bed and only leave it when you have to."

I pull back and salute him, answering, "Yes, Sir."

He laughs and pinches my side. "Yeah, you're definitely feeling better."

He glances at his watch and kisses my lips briefly. Standing up, he situates his tie and says, "Gotta go make the big bucks, baby."

I just shake my head and chuckle to myself. "Have a good day, Edward."

He crosses the room and stops with his hand on the door, turning around to face me again. "I mean it, take it easy today," he warns.

"I will. Be careful."

For the next hour after he leaves, I lounge in the bed, flipping through channels uninterested before I finally toss the remote to the mattress and decide to get up. My body feels like it's drenched in grime and filth because I wallowed around in sweat and sickness the entire day before. I need to bathe. Immediately.

I walk across the room and pick out some purple, plaid pajama bottoms and a long-sleeve shirt to match because I'm still chilly. I take a quick shower to remove the filth and dress in a rush, my body shaking because of the cold. Just as I'm pulling the sheets back to climb in bed, a knock sounds from the door.

"Come in," I call, my voice still sounding hoarse.

Emmett opens the door and enters the room holding a tray topped with assorted items.

I can't decide whether I want to laugh or cry when I take in his appearance. _Of course_ he'd be wearing plaid shorts. _And I had thought God was through playing cruel jokes on me. Is my sickness not enough?_

If we were to go out in public, people would laugh at us for being one of _those_ couples. Then the fact that I think about us and being a couple in the same sentence causes my body to go rigid and I try to look everywhere but in his direction. Unfortunately, he clears his throat which causes my attention to snap back to him.

He looks uncomfortable and guarded as he walks toward me and nods his head toward the bed, ordering, "Get in, I brought room service."

I hop into the bed at his request, my stomach answering with a resounding gurgle. I'm expecting some Campbell's chicken and noodle, but find my mouth gaping when I stare hungrily down at a bowl full of homemade chicken and noodle soup.

I am genuinely shocked at his kindness and find myself questioning thoughtfully, "Did you make this? It looks great."

He smiles sheepishly, answering, "Yeah, I did."

I take in the rest of the items on the tray- a Sprite can with a straw, some Tylenol Cold and Flu, and three movies. Picking up the DVD's, I look through the titles and quirk a brow.

He looks away as his cheeks flush and he says, "I thought that maybe would could, um, watch some movies together."

I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and chew on it as I think about his request in my head. On one side, after the past week, this could be a really bad idea, but on the other hand, he seems like he's trying to be cordial and maybe it couldn't hurt. Slowly, I move my hand across the bed and pat the spot beside me.

Raising my eyes to look at him, he's grinning widely at me and my heart does a little flipflop in my chest. _Maybe I should have said no. Is it too soon?_

He comes around to the other side of the bed and stares down at it pensively for a minute before he climbs in. He waves his hand at the pill bottle and instructs me to take two. I roll my eyes and take the medicine.

He reaches across my lap, causing me to tense below him, and picks up the movies, fanning them out in from of him. "So, which one, Pinky?"

I look at each of the titles again and laugh. The choices are between _Sweet Home Alabama, Tommy Boy, _and _The Notebook_, my three favorites. "You pick," I state, peering at him from over the top of the cases.

He grins and responds, "Nope, only the sick girl can choose. That's the rules."

"Whose rules?" I question.

He ignores me and starts quoting a line in his best girly, Southern accent, "You dumb, stubborn, redneck hick!" This causes me to laugh, but I shake my head 'no' because that movie has to do with Melanie's heart being torn between two completely different guys, and that hits a little too close to home.

He tosses it to the side and picks up _The Notebook. _Just as he's opening his mouth to say something, I shove my hand over it, halting his words. I rip the movie from his hands and toss it to the side. A particular scene comes to mind now when I think of that movie, the scene between Ally and Lon.

_Ally says to Lon, "When I'm with Noah I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different."_

_He responds, "Ally, it's normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don't want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me."_

_Ally replies, "You don't have to. I already know I should be with you."_

Emmett looks at me curiously, mumbling through my fingers, "I thought you loved that movie?"

Removing my hand, I answer, "Oh, I do. I do. It's just... it always makes me cry, and I'm not so much in a crying mood today."

I shrug, but the intensity in his eyes change and become a steel blue. He sighs before saying, "Bella, I'm sorry I made you cry."

I swallow hard, not expecting him to bring it up. "It's okay, I probably deserved it."

He shakes his head vehemently, "No, no one deserves to be told the things I said to you, no matter how upset I was about everything. I'm sorry."

I nod my head and occupy my trembling fingers by fidgeting with the bedspread, keeping my eyes averted. "Yeah, I'm sorry too," I offer in a whisper.

The silence is charged between us and my calf cramps slightly because of the tension in my stiff legs. He reaches over and touches my shoulder and I jump slightly, startled by his approach. I peer at him sideways and smile when I see the last DVD suspended between two of his fingers. "Looks like we're going for 'Fat guy in a little coat' today then?"

I bob my head excitedly, happy to have the awkwardness evaporate and our apologies behind us. He gets up and puts the movie in, and then returns back to the bed. We laugh at all the appropriate times, which is often because this movie really is hilarious. My eyes wander to him throughout the movie, and I realize I like to see him smile ten-thousand times more than the hurt expression he wore in the bathroom. At times, our fingers will brush or we'll catch one another's stare, and I always find that it causes my heart to hammer in my chest and my breath to catch in my throat.

The softness of his touch and the look in his eyes tells me he still wants me, but the distance he puts between our bodies tells me that he's going to respect my decision to be with Edward. When I find my eyes growing heavy, I lean into his shoulder, acknowledging that I've grown to like the thick, cord of muscle beneath my cheek.

As I'm drifting off, the last thing that crosses my mind is that I secretly despise that he's giving up so soon.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Thanks for reading. Lots of good and bad times ahead for this foursome.

Major love to my wifey, Live720. She's my driving force and I appreciate her bunches.

To my usual suspects, RAoR h00rs, BBR bitches, and my SOB sweethearts. Love you, ladies!

Until next time....


	16. Chapter 16: New Job, Old Memories

_*******__**ATTENTION**__**!*** **_I recently entered the Me & Mr. McCarty One-Shot competition. If you don't have me on author alert, then you weren't notified. The fic can be found on my profile. I assure you, he's nothing like LUSTmett at all, and you might like the difference. I know I sure did. *evil laugh* If you find it worthy enough of your vote, then head over to **www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Me_Mr_McCarty_Contest_Entries/80509/99/0/1** for voting which is open through June 29th. The support would be appreciated, I assure you.

EDIT: **Voting is OPEN HERE:** www(dot)surveymonkey(dot)com/s/JV87MYN

**Second order of business, there are approximately only 6-7 chapters left of this fic including the epilogue. Things are about to move along quickly. Admittedly, I'm scared to let them go. *tears up***

**Next, I want to continue to thank all those that read, review, alert, and favorite. You still give me the warm & fuzzies.**

**Polyvore is in the profile & music inspiration for this chapter is "Suppose" by Secondhand Serenade.**

********Disclaimer****:** ****All recognizable characters, settings, references, and lyrics are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. However, if I did own it, I'd still choose to come here & play with all of you. *mwahs***

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**"Chapter 16: New Job, Old Memories"**

_**BPOV**_

I listen as the metal spoon clanks against my bowl while the brightly colored marshmallows of my Lucky Charms dip and bob in the swirling milk. My eyes dart around the spacious living room, taking in its emptiness as the walls creek and shallow sounds whisper around me, making my loneliness more evident. Sighing heavily, I push my chair away from the table before I stand and walk the short distance to the sink. While washing out my dish, I think about the day I have ahead of me.

I'm starting my new job at BookPeople, but I'm only working a few hours. They plan to show me the ropes, including how to operate the cash register and letting me stock a small order that came in yesterday, so that I can learn how to navigate the store. I was a little more than elated when I got the call informing me I'd be starting today rather than the beginning of next week. It's not the most lucrative job by any means, but it's close enough to Town Lake that I can go and write when I get off work on occasion. Plus, the atmosphere is perfect- personable employees, friendly customers, and the greatest smell on earth, classics bound by leather, waiting on shelves to be purchased and enjoyed. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm ecstatic to finally feel productive and a part of the working society, even though it's not your run of the mill nine-to-fiver, sitting my ass behind a computer and desk all day watching my life wither away. _Not saying that I don't respect those people, because I do, only that I've got Renee's blood coursing through my veins and I'd find the monotony of it boring, quite frankly._

I rummage quickly through my closet, searching for an outfit that says I'm no slacker, but I'm not pretentious enough to believe I'm required to wear a pencil skirt and heels to work in a book store. With the summer heat of Texas still blazing outside, I decide on a pair of khaki shorts and a rosy, blush-colored polo paired with embellished sandals...cute, but respectable. Throwing them on and pulling half my hair up, I do a quick twirl in the mirror before I dash out the door with a bounce in my step.

Jumping in to my truck, I roll the windows down to escape the suffocating heat of early morning and turn onto the highway, letting the wind rustle my hair. While driving, I hum aimlessly to the different tunes that sound from the radio until it dawns on me that I'm in an exceptionally giddy mood, probably due to the fact that I have something more sufficient to occupy my time. It's hard to believe that a whole month has passed since Emmett had taken care of me while I was sick and we reformed our friendship. The remainder of that week had been tense at times, but as per usual for us, we fell back into a smooth and easy companionship. School started the following week and I was left by myself, to my lingering feelings and hassling thoughts, as the rest of the group was able to escape to their jobs. To pass the time until everyone got home, I started going to the gym, finding that it actually helped me blow off all the steam I was working up thinking over my situation because if I'm being honest with myself, I can't quit analyzing everything. The harder I try not to think about Emmett and focus on Edward, the more my thoughts are centered around him. I avoid staring at him only for my brain to recall his image. I make love to Edward to wash away the images of being entangled with Emmett, just to dream about him the entire night. It's so frustrating to hear and feel and see and smell him everywhere around me, especially when he's never in the vicinity, and I want nothing more for him to just disappear. Even more, it makes me sick to my stomach to think that I _do _want him around, that I want his hands on my body as I lay in his arms. I can't escape him, and I don't know what that means. I repulse myself.

Overall, everyone around me seems happy; I'm just good at faking it. However, the buoyancy in my step today is genuine, and I feel great as my mouth instantly curves into a grin while I peer at the skyline in the distance. Within a few minutes, I'm pulling into the small parking lot and hopping out of my vehicle at ten minutes until eight. Walking through the door, a cheery _ding dong_ announces my presence as a young girl raises her head up from behind the counter, a kind smile gracing her face in welcome.

Standing to her full height, I'm slightly blown away because she's outrageously tall and my insecurities begin to bubble to the surface as I practically gawk at her. She has light brown hair with honey blond highlights and its length is swept to the side and pinned in curls with a feather headdress. Stepping around the counter, her gentle brown eyes meet mine as she takes me in, much like I'm doing her. Her ensemble is stunning and picturesque, looking as though she'd stepped right off the glossy surface of a pin-up girl poster. She definitely has the whole eccentric, fifties era vibe working for her, which is downright adorable. Wearing an olive green tank that accentuates the warm glow of her skin, moderately covered by a cream cardigan, she pairs it with a plaid skirt that wraps around her waist and flows outward to rest just above her knees. To complete her outfit, pearls drape elegantly around her neck, wing-tipped glasses frame her face, and Mary Jane style heels help pull the entire look together. I wish I could dress like her, but I'd fail miserably.

Remembering my manners, I step forward and offer her my hand. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm suppose to be starting here this morning."

She smiles again and accepts my hand, letting her fingers wrap delicately around mine before she states, "Pleased to meet you, Bella. I'm Angela."

Gracefully, she ushers me to the back of the store where I fill out my time card, and punch in for the day. Afterwards, she pulls me along until we stand behind the counter where she points around to several stacks of supplies and goes through a quick tutorial of how to use the register. It feels almost natural and easy, and I readily absorb all of her instructions. We fall into typical chatter soon after as a few people meander quietly around the store, only politely interrupting for assistance. Occasionally, a customer approaches the counter, and I process the sale.

"So, you'll have a good bit of down time on most days. It's pretty relaxed around here and we aren't significantly busy unless there's a speaker. Most students get their books from campus, so we usually only get the regular loungers and the people that love the old stuff. Do you think you'll like working here?" she inquires as she rests her hip against the counter, her eyebrows raising above the rim of her glasses.

"Most definitely. Um, but are we the only employees? And, where are the owners that interviewed me?" I ask, feeling comfortable enough with her to be blunt.

She rolls her eyes and starts straightening up a stack of stationary on the counter. "Ugh, Mom and Dad are on vacation. Talk about taking advantage of the precious daughter who just graduated college and doesn't have a damn clue what to do with her life now," she mumbles, chuckling to herself. "They went on a cruise for their like billionth honeymoon anniversary crap, so they won't be back for a few weeks."

"That's so incredibly sweet though," I pause momentarily before continuing, "to be married to someone for so long and to still love them enough to want to be trapped with them in a ship cabin for weeks, I hope I have a love like that one day. My parents have been married for forever, too."

"Yep, but until they get back, it will just be me, you, Alice, and Jasper. And I'll warn you, if you work with Alice, drink lots of coffee, that girl's a fucking firecracker on steriods, God love her. Jasper's her boyfriend, but don't worry, they never work the same shift because not a damn thing ever gets done. No PDA for them, anymore," she finishes with a grimace, her face scrunching up seemingly from a distasteful memory.

We fall into a fit of giggles that last for minutes before she's maneuvering me around the store while we discuss the fact that I hadn't realized she was the Weber's daughter and had attended college with me. We seem to have several things in common beyond our Journalism degrees and minors in English Lit, and we become fast friends. Aside from pointing out how to make sure the books are properly placed and helping me re-stack magazines, she fills me in on the rest of tasks that I'll have to complete as part of the job. Soon after, I'm in the back, digging through the few boxes I'm expected to put out and restocking the shelves, finding a peaceful solitude amongst the rows and aisles of books I love so much. Not long after, I'm punching out for the day with a feeling of accomplishment and pride, having done something for myself, _by myself_ for a change.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go grab you some lunch or something?" I call out to Ang as I look at the clock and see it's right at lunch.

She just shoos me away, stating, "Alice will be in shortly for her shift and I'll be able to leave for a bit. Run, get away while you can."

We both snicker quietly until I wave and head out the door, thinking that I'm both excited and nervous to meet this Alice girl. The heat hits me immediately, but it's so nice out, that I decide to go to Town Lake anyway. Hopefully, there will be a soft breeze blowing off the water or my usual spot will be extra shady. Driving the short distance across town, I park the truck and begin the long walk down the trail with my journal in hand, eager to sit along the banks and let the words flow from head to my hand.

I decide to forgo traveling to my usual destination when I spy a large elm tree with perfecting shading, a necessity in detracting away from the glaring sun as it slathers the earth with its fiery warmth. Finding a soft patch of grass below it, I nestle in to the prickling blades and lay back for a moment, letting the rich sounds of nature pass over my body and relax my mind. The birds are chirping as they wrestle in the branches above me and the water sloshes against the river bank, creating a bubbling sound as the current whips it down stream. I shiver lightly when a gentle breeze blows through, cooling my heated flesh and causing the leaves to sway and dance in the wind. The soft undertones of the bustling city resounds in the air around me and I sigh heavily. This is heaven and I'm at peace.

After a short period of time elapses, I sit up and dust the sparse pieces of grass from my hair and back. I write for a while, letting my jumbled thoughts work themselves out on the pages of my journal. As I scan back through the pages, I see the words "more than friends," "passion," and "missing him" more often than I should, especially for someone who's trying to forget him, trying to _move on_. Admittedly, it makes me edgy so I close my journal and toss it to the grass. Looking up, I see a younger couple passing by in a canoe and smile to myself, not being able to slow the recollections of a day long passed when I shared a ride in one with Emmett. His playful nature and infectious laugh resonate in my brain, and I really do miss him. So much has happened since then, but I wholeheartedly believe that it had been _that_ day that had set a chain of events in motion. Just a single innocent kiss had happened, but within it held a promise of so much more. My stomach begins to rumble, and I realize I haven't eaten anything since breakfast, so I choose to pack up my things and head back to my truck, leaving the images of picnics and dark curls hovering over me behind.

Driving in to town, I decide to eat at Z'Tejas Southwestern Grill. I love their innovative use of spices and heat, but don't usually get to indulge in their culinary genius often enough because it doesn't agree with Edward's stomach. Running inside, I order the grilled shrimp and guacamole tostada bites to go. While waiting on my food, I glance at the clock on their wall and realize that it's twenty minutes until Emmett's free period before football practice. I know his lunch period has already passed, but perhaps he'd like a little treat before he's got to suffer in the sun. _Oh, who am I kidding? Emmett doesn't turn down food. Ever._

Chasing down the employee that took my order, I quickly ask, "What desserts do you have on the menu?" I do so because the menu is selected by the chef daily, so the desserts and entrées differ from day to day.

"We have our famous Ancho Pie and the Strawberry infused Cheesecake," he responds before continuing, "would you like to add either to your order?"

Those happen to be mine and Emmett's favorite desserts, all signs pointing to the perfection of my idea, so I tell him to give me both and pay for the additional charges. Soon after, I'm driving down the highway again in my truck with the scents of the meal filling the small cab, making my mouth water in the process. Pulling into the school lot, I see Emmett's jeep and easily spot the front office. I rush across the pavement, hearing my sandals flop underneath me, and walk inside the main office building. Once inside, I walk to the front desk and get the attention of the secretary.

"Um, could you tell me if Emmett McCarty is having his free period right now?" I ask, my eyes scanning around the various objects mounting the walls and the students coming in and out of the door.

She looks up at me, her eyebrows furrowing slightly, before her fingers are flying across the keyboard. "Actually, yes he is. His last class just let out approximately two minutes ago. He'll either be in the teacher's lounge or in his room. Do you know where those are?"

I fidget self-consciously before I respond, "Actually, no I don't, but would it be okay if I were to go speak with him?"

"Oh, of course, but I'll need you to fill out the necessary forms and get a visitor's pass. Can you tell me who you are and what the reason for the visit is?" she questions, her thin eyebrow arching as her fingers pause over the keys.

Wringing my hands together, I reply, "I'm Bella Swan, and I'm... a good friend. We're roommates and I uh, I thought I'd bring him some food before football practice."

Smiling, she hands me some paperwork to fill out and a pass while explaining, "Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate that. His room is two-oh-four. If you take the hall to your right and go up the staircase to the second floor, it will be the fourth room on your right. As for the teacher's lounge, it's located at the end of the hall on your left," she finishes, smiling gently before she turns to start filing some paperwork.

"Thank you," I call as I turn to leave, clipping the pass to the collar on my shirt.

I head up the stairs and walk down the hall until I locate the door to his room. Peering through the small window, I initially find an empty room full of desks and computers, but then at the head of the room is Emmett. He's sitting at a large desk with his head down resting on his arms, almost like he's taking a nap. Tentatively, I raise my hand and let my knuckles rap lightly against the glass frame while I chew worriedly on my bottom lip. His head jerks up and searches around the room before his sapphire gaze focuses on the door and me. I offer a small wave which causes a wide grin to spread across his face, causing me to smile in similar fashion. Getting up from his desk in one swift movement, he invites me in with a wave of his hand. Smoothing my hands over my clothes, I turn the knob and walk the aisle to meet him. He immediately embraces me with a hug, and it makes me feel warm and even more giddy. I lean in to him, letting my palms rest against the hard planes of his back as I inhale softly, letting the scent of him seep into my body. I should be ashamed because of my secret indulgence, but I'm not. What everyone doesn't know won't hurt them, I'll only be hurting myself.

"Bella, how are you?" he questions, pulling away from me to search my face. "Is everything okay?"

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I nod and answer, "Oh yeah, everything's fine. I went in for my shift at the bookstore this morning and then went down to the lake afterward. I guess writing works up quite an appetite, so I stopped in by Z'Tejas and grabbed a bite, which reminds me, I have some Ancho Pie for you in the truck."

His eyes light up as he states, "You've got to be kidding me? I'd kill for some Ancho Pie right now."

Grabbing my hand in his, which makes my stomach flop around like a fish, he leads me down the stairwell in a frenzy out to the parking lot to my truck. I half expect him to throw me over his shoulder like Tarzan, but that takes my mind back to his barbaric reaction to the James's situation at the gym, so I redirect my attention. Grabbing the paper bag, he quickly ushers me to a circular picnic table below a shady grove in what appears to be a place for the students to eat outside, and I laugh at his eagerness. He sits down and I watch as his knees bounce with enthusiasm, shaking my head at his toddler-like behavior. I pull all the carryout trays from the bag and situate them on the table, and then look at the seats, wondering which one I should take. He pats the wooden slats beside him, and my mind battles over taking the seat right beside him on the same plank or the next bench over. Finally deciding, I sit down beside him, our legs brushing lightly and he smiles sweetly at me. I dig into my meal to avoid eye contact, and Emmett helps himself to some tostadas as well.

Moaning and shuffling the food around his mouth, he declares, "You have _no_ idea how much I love you right now. I think they're trying to starve me to death with that shit that they serve in the cafeteria."

My breath catches in my throat momentarily before I right myself and grin. "I'm sure you'll be just find, you big ass baby. I didn't realize you were picky when it came to food anyway," I state, biting down on my lip to hold back a smirk.

"Oh, harty, har, har. You're fucking hilarious," he jokes, causing us both to silently chuckle. We eat the rest of the grilled shrimp appetizer, relishing in the spicy seasoning and smoky flavors, enhanced by the delicately grilled vegetables while making small talk about our days.

Finally, we get to our desserts, both of us digging into our respective delicacies with hums and sighs of approval. He offers me a bite of his which I readily accept, letting the taste of ancho chilies paired with moist chocolate, a warm walnut fudge, swirl in my mouth, coating my palate with amazing textures and taste. My eyes roll back into my head and I groan, letting the mixture melt against my tongue and slide down my throat. Opening my eyes, I find Emmett staring at me with the fork still suspended in the air. He clears his throat immediately and shuffles his feet, before he dives back in to his dessert, not caring at all that his vanilla bean ice cream is completely melted.

I offer him a bite of mine, holding my fork out to feed it to him. He wraps his lips around the utensil, and I feel my toes curl as I watch the slightly erotic display. Then he lets out the most sensual moan known to man that causes my entire body to tingle, the vibrations rumbling in his chest making my eyes glaze over. I soon realize the reason for his suspended fork because my arm is currently dangling in mid-air while I gape at him. Shaking the fuzzy haze from my brain, I set the fork down on the plate and curiously glance at Emmett as he observe my thick slice of fruity concocted cheesecake heaven with a puzzled expression.

"Taste like..." he mumbles before his statement trails off and his eyes meet mine.

This is the moment where I should force myself to look away or that I hope against hope that he'll redirect his attention, but neither happens. Our gazes lock and connect, an intense wordless exchange transpires between us and the magnetic force draws us closer to one another. I sit motionless as his pinky finger traces the grooves of mine, etching lines of warmth against the wrinkled flesh, and I swallow reflexively. Time slows down and speeds up at the same time while my heart beats out of my chest and my knees begin to tremble. Slowly, his tongue darts out to lick the underside of his top lip and I find myself momentarily captivated by the movement. However, my eyes eventually return to focus on his, wading in their depths while complete silence falls around our invisible bubble.

Then as quick as it comes, it's gone as three young boys interrupt the moment by yelling in unison, "Hey, Coach!"

Begrudgingly, we both turn our eyes away from one another as the students march up to our table and Emmett stands up to greet them.

"Bella, this is Jake, Paul, and Jared," he says as he motions to each of the guys. "They're some of the boys on the team."

The gentleman known as Paul steps forward and takes my hand, declaring with a smirk, "We happen to be first string, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am."

I smile and respond, "Pleasure's all mine." He's quite the charmer.

Emmett then drags Paul backward by his shirt collar until he throws his arm around him once he's by his side. "That'll be enough from you, Casanova."

"Afraid of a little competition, Coach?" Paul rebukes, nudging Emmett in his side with his elbow.

Emmett then chuckles heartily, provoking myself as well as the remainder of the boys to fall into laughter right along with him. The men get engrossed in conversation for a bit as I absorb the effortless way in which Emmett interacts with his students. He's such a natural around kids, and I find myself slightly envious.

Another one of the boys, Jake I think is name is, perks up and questions, "Hey, Coach, why don't you invite your girlfriend to watch us practice?" The others join in, encouraging Emmett and myself as I stand their wide-eyed and caught off guard.

"Um, he's not... I'm not his," I stutter, pleading with my eyes for Emmett to save me. I'm at a loss for what to say.

Thankfully Emmett cuts in, stating, "I'm sure Miss Bella has more important things to do with her time." He smiles sadly at me, and it makes my heart ache. I don't want him to ever feel like I don't want to be where he is, it's just not smart, and it only makes the times when he's not around hurt more.

Jake starts flexing his biceps and grunts, "What, you afraid she's going to see what a real man looks like and not want to go home with you?"

Explosive laughter floats in the air until it's masked by the students and buses departing from the school. Emmett checks his watch and says, "Alright, you boys better get your butts to the fieldhouse before I make you run extra laps."

They groan and mumble their goodbyes to me before running down the hill toward the field where I see other guys stretching in their football pads. I look over to see Emmett watching his team with a large smile on his face, the bright glow of the afternoon shining on his curls and as sweat gathers on his brow, making his skin nearly sparkle.

"You look really happy, Em," I remark as I stare at him observably.

He turns to me, his blue eyes sparkling as he responds, "I feel happy, Bella. They're a pain in my ass and crazy as hell, but they're all good kids."

Looking at him in his blue polo shirt and navy slacks, his dimples piercing each cheek, and his blue eyes shining, I realize I want to be a part of his happiness, to contribute to it. I want to share this part of his life with him... as a friend. So, hooking my arm in his, I say, "Come on."

His gaze shifts from my eyes to our linked arms while a large crease etches its way between his furrowed brows. "Come where?" he asks, obviously confused.

"Well," I pause, letting the l's roll off my tongue dramatically while rolling my eyes. Smiling, I continue, "Those boys aren't going to coach themselves so we better hustle. Move your ass, Captain!" When he just stands there looking at me, I swat at his behind, yelling, "Giddy up, Cowboy! Times ah-wastin'."

Suppressing a chuckle, he leans in to me and says softly, "You know you... don't have to, right?"

Smiling and rubbing his arm, I respond, "I know, but I want to...so let's go already."

He smirks and pulls me in to his side, kissing the top of my head as he leads me down to the field. Helping me in the stands, he walks away toward his team and blows the whistle. I study the guys and how they all orbit around Emmett, absorbing his words and respecting his approach to the game. You can tell they hang on his every word and really look up to him. It'd be hard not to. Emmett emits this positive energy that makes you gravitate toward him. His laid-back approach and coaching style seems to make all the guys feel included, and I can already see that they're going to be a good team, a brotherhood. I find myself easily pulled into the practice game as they run scrimmages and drills, wondering to myself what Emmett was like in his high school days. I bet his teachers and friends were never bored because there is never a dull moment if he's involved.

A shrill whistle sounds several times, effectively pulling me from my thoughts as I look up to see a few boys scuffling. I sit on the edge of my seat as Emmett breaks them apart, tugging on their jerseys as he speaks quietly between them. Authoritative Emmett takes over as he points his finger at the smaller teammate and jerks his head toward the sideline. I watch as the boy jogs off the field, throwing his helmet down and kicking the seat near him, making it flip over. Emmett instructs the boys to take a break while he walks over to the lone guy, still angry and pacing the sideline. Emmett looks upset at first, his face contorted in a sneer, before it softens once he starts talking to the player. Within minutes, Emmett and the boy are laughing as Emmett ruffles the guy's hair and pats him on the back. This display makes me realize that Emmett's a real nurturer and leader. He'll make a good father one day. It's hard not to think about what his kids would look like, dark curls and blue eyes smiling up at him as he pushes them on the swing or helps them down the slide. Then I picture him teaching his son how to play football and wrestling in the yard with him, the young boy a spitting image of his father as they both lay in the grass with dimples in their cheeks while they laugh. He'll be the doting father, playing tea time with his daughter as she serves him fake tea and cookies. These thoughts make me smile, but disappear quickly, when I imagine Rosalie walking in the room telling them, "Dinner's ready."

The sun is starting to set in the sky now, painting the horizon with deep purples and fluorescent oranges, so I figure it's time for me to get a move on. I'm hoping to get a workout in before I go home to start supper for the gang. Jogging down the bleachers, I skip over to the fence and call out his name while nodding my head toward the exit. His smile falters for a second before he nods and waves, but his expression makes me feel like he wants me to stay. I lace my fingers through the chain links for a few seconds longer, then slowly walk away, not really wanting to leave.

With my mind lost in thought, I'm pulling up in front of the apartment with no real recollection of the drive home. Running up to the condo to change clothes, I insert the key only to find the doorknob turning and unlocked. Edward opens the door and smiles down at me.

"Hey, baby, I was starting to worry. I thought you were only working a few hours today," he states, moving aside to let me in the door and closing it.

I turn into him, giving him a hug while explaining, "Oh, I did. I went down to the lake for a little while after to write. Then, I went and got some lunch at Z'Tejas, and they had Ancho Pie on the menu. You know how much Emmett likes it, so I took him some down to the school. After that, I stayed to watch the football boys practice for a little while, and then... here I am."

"Hmmm, sounds like you had a busy day," he responds as he pulls out of my embrace and walks to the living room.

I stand rooted in my spot for a moment feeling perplexed about his cold demeanor as I stare at the back of his head. Shrugging it off, I say, "So, you're home early."

He turns around to face me, but his eyes don't meet mine. "Yeah, I actually took off early to spend time with you. I thought we'd celebrate your new job and everything." Then his eyes do meet mine, and I realize he's sad and a little hurt. My heart lurches with the fact that I keep hurting him accidentally.

I walk the short distance between us quickly and reach out to him, saying, "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't know. You didn't tell me."

He takes my hand then, weaving our fingers together as he places a soft kiss against my temple. "It's okay, you're right. I wanted it to be a surprise or I would have said something."

Again, I feel shitty because I spoiled his plans for the evening. I don't know what more I can do besides apologize, so I let the silence linger between us.

"Well, anyway," he pauses, pulling away from me and scratching the back of his neck, "I was thinking that after I get back from my trip this weekend, you and I should go look for an apartment of our own. Since you have a job now and I'm in a comfortable spot at the firm, I'm thinking we'll be able to handle the expenses on our own. Plus, Emmett has his job now also, and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them high and dry. I've already discussed it with Rose, and she assured me they'd be fine on their own."

He looks up at me hesitantly then, and all I can think is, _Hello, left fucking field, so wasn't expecting this!_

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**A/N: So, we're fast approaching the ending. I realize this chapter is short, but it needed to be told & the next few chapters will probably be gargantuan because a lot of shizz is about to go down, so hold on with all your might. This is my warning! Don't forget, go read my o/s entry. That Emmett is dark & completely different from this one. *smirk***

**A special smooch to my beta and fic wifey for life, Rhi (Live720). Even though her RL is super busy and chaotic, she still fits me in when she can. A big thank you to my usual suspects; RAoR, SOB, and BBR friends. **

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**Smooches,  
Christina  
**


	17. Chapter 17: Pressures

Hiya! Welcome to all my new readers, and thanks to the old ones for coming back. For those that continue to read, review, alert, and fave- MEGA KISSES! And, ***shocked face**,*** **yep, that's right my lovelies, it's barely been a week and I'm updating again. It's because I love you all so much, and...

To remind all of you that **TOMORROW** is the last day **for voting in the Me & Mr. McCarty Contest**. If you haven't read **my entry, "Voyeuristic Rendezvous,"** then go do that, and if you enjoy it, **GO VOTE! **Plus, there's 30 or so other entries that you might enjoy.

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Me_Mr_McCarty_Contest_Entries/80509/99/0/1** to read the entries.

**Voting is OPEN HERE:** www(dot)surveymonkey(dot)com/s/JV87MYN

The support would be appreciated, I assure you.

Musical Inspiration for Bella is "Pressure" by Paramore. For Emmett we have "I Don't Think I Love You" by Hoobastank.

********Disclaimer****:** **_**All recognizable characters, settings, references, and lyrics are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. I'm just out to break people's heart, I suppose, and for that, I am **_**almost**_** sorry.**_

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**"Chapter 17: Pressure"**

_"Well, anyway," he pauses, pulling away from me and scratching the back of his neck, "I was thinking that after I get back from my trip this weekend, you and I should go look for an apartment of our own. Since you have a job now and I'm in a comfortable spot at the firm, I'm thinking we'll be able to handle the expenses on our own. Plus, Emmett has his job now also, and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them high and dry. I've already discussed it with Rose, and she assured me they'd be fine on their own."_

_He looks up at me hesitantly then, and all I can think is, _Hello, left fucking field, so wasn't expecting this!

_**BPOV**_

I can feel my eyes glaze over as I stare off into space, my mind racing a million miles a minute. Everything is becoming unfocused and the swirling in my stomach makes me feel lightheaded and nauseous. Ideologically, I understand that he's doing this in the best interest of mine and his relationship by putting us on the appropriate path for _our_ future, but my mind centers on the notion that he's only trying to tear me away from Emmett. _Typical Bella_, I think, _always so melodramatic. _It's hard enough right now with all of our time being taken away by the school, his team, and Rose, but to only be able to see him on occasion and not even sporadically throughout each day makes my chest feel tight.

Wrapping his hands around my arms, he steps closer to me and says, "Bella, did you hear me? I want us to get an apartment _together_."

I hold up one finger signaling that I need a minute... or a lot of minutes. Pulling out of his fingers' gentle embrace, I put my head in my hands as I back wordlessly toward the couch. As soon as I feel the cool leathery material against the back of my knees, I slump into the cushions as I try to wrap my head around what he's saying. This is a huge step for us, a step forward I guess, a commitment of myself to him of sorts, but the lump forming in my throat makes it hard for me to have the reaction I always expected to have when this moment came. I mean, isn't a girl suppose to be overcome with joy- lots of jumping, squealing, and flailing arms- when she learns that the man she's going to spend the rest of her life with says he wants to move in together? _Does this mean my brain is defective? _Isn't the prospect of waking up in a home I share with my one and only, signs of a life we built together surrounding us in forms of pictures on the wall, furniture we picked out together, and dinners we cooked with one another filling our newly furnished refrigerator suppose to make me giddy? All I feel is suffocation, confusion, and heartache for the loss of a friendship and the separation I'll have to endure once Emmett's massive frame no longer fills my living space. I can't imagine myself in this unfamiliar home without the distinct booming laughter of my best friend surrounding me and making me warm. I don't like this, not a little... not at all.

With the soft creak and a shifting of the seat beside me, reminding me that Edward's still in the room and awaiting a response, I prepare myself. I look up between my fingers to see him sitting by my side, worry lines crossing his forehead and pinching his eyes together, his lips set in a deep frown. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, just staring at me as I try to beat down my trepidation, working to act as if I'm somewhat pleased by the information he disclosed. Gulping, I blurt the first thing that comes to mind and cringe as the words leave my lips. "This is just a really big commitment."

Biting his lip, he responds sincerely, "I'm... sorry. I honestly thought we were ready for this, Bella. It seemed like the next logical step for us to make. We've been together for four years, and I've loved you since the moment I spotted you in the courtyard at the university. I didn't realize you'd be so adverse to the idea of living with me."

I roll my eyes and blow out all the air compressing my lungs, trying to recover from the mistake I've made. I hate that I'm causing him to feel anything other than relief for voicing his desires. "Shit, that's not what I mean, per say. It's just... fuck, I don't really know. My job is new and I realize that _right now_ everything seems fine, but what if something happens? Will we truly be able to make it by ourselves? And then, we don't have any appliances and the commute to both of our jobs are perfect, and, and..." I look up, my words trailing off as a smile slowly spreads across his face and we both end up laughing because just like always, my brain has blown things out of proportion and made a mountain out of a mole hill. Our chuckles echo around us, lightening up the tense atmosphere that proceeded my overreaction.

"Baby, I'm not saying we have to move out the very day I get back, just that I want to start looking around. Who knows, it might be a year from now and we'll still be living here, but at the very least, I wanted to plant the idea in that beautiful..." he pauses, kissing my temple, "...sweet," kisses my cheek, "...brilliant mind of yours," he ends, finally capturing my lips with his. The kiss starts out tender, but quickly grows heated as his hands tease me. Tugging at my legs, he drags my body down until my back is flush against the couch and he's laying on top of me. He continues to kiss me hungrily as his hips push into me, making me aware of his intentions. Pulling away from me and sitting up on his knees, he quickly unbuttons his shirt and throws it on the floor while staring down at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he fights to catch his breath. I bite my lip as my eyes work over the lean muscles of his body, beholding the image that should be burned into my brain and appear at night when I close my eyes and find myself dreaming, but don't. Smirking down at me, his fingers play with the bottom hem of my shirt as he slowly works the material up over my stomach, passing my breasts, until he's finally pulling it over my head. Maneuvering his body until it's suspended over mine again, he whispers against my lips, "God, you're insanely beautiful. I've got to be the luckiest man in the world."

His words affect me deeply, so I pull him down to me, kissing him with an earnest I haven't experienced with _him_ in a while. For a few minutes, his movements are just as fervor as mine, a flurry of tangled fingers and tongues; bodies searching, feeling, wanting, needing. Yet, all too soon, his anxious actions dwindle and he falls into an all-too-familiar rhythm. With his measured, deliberate strokes and caresses, he starts worshiping my body. That's not what I want, though. I need raw, possessive energy. I want passionate, explosive, and life-changing sex that channels the kind of _love_ we share for each other. I drag my nails up his bare back, feeling his muscles coil underneath my fingertips as a hiss forms on his lips and he bucks into me. Unyielding, he grasps my hands with his stronger ones and pulls it away from his torso. Kissing my palm, he stares at me pointedly as he lays it flat against the couch and makes me suffer with his tortuously slow, calculated performance. I feel like a caged animal as my breathing picks up and angry tears gather in my eyes, heating my face. Does he not realize what I want? _Does he even really fucking care what _I_ really want?_

Just as I'm sitting up to make Edward stop, officially grown aggravated by his ignorance, the door flies open with Emmett animatedly expressing, "You guys will not believe..." His words and smile die on his lips as his eyes move between Edward and me, presumably taking in our state of undress and my tangled hair. Hastily, I grab for my disposed shirt to cover my exposed flesh while my eyes sadly bore into Emmett's, taking in his flabbergasted expression as he visibly gulps and sits down his bag. Immediately, I jump off the couch to put distance between Edward and I, my eyes wide with shame, feeling much like I just got caught dipping my hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Yes, Edward is my boyfriend and I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Feeling overwhelmed with stupidity for getting carried away and acting like a hormonally-driven teenager on the couch in the home that I share with other people, I let my eyes dip out of his line of sight. My painted toes and sandals suddenly become very interesting as I stare at my feet, perfectly content with my avoidance of meeting the set of blue eyes across the room filled with pain.

I peek sideways as Edward raises up off the couch then, grabbing his shirt off the floor and tossing it over his shoulder. He looks up at Emmett, stating somewhat apologetically, "Hey man, sorry about that." He scratches at the back of his neck and runs his hand through his hair, a common occurrence when he's feeling uptight or anxious. "I knew Rose was going to be at the office late, but uh, I wasn't anticipating you getting home early from practice."

My eyes find the clock on the wall and my eyebrows scrunch together with confusion. It was a little after six, and the approximate time Emmett usually gets in from practice. Shocked, I jerk my head up fully, staring open-mouthed at Edward. _Did he plan this? Am I only a pawn in Edward's shitty game of who's the better man?_

Seemingly uncomfortable, Emmett shifts his feet and plasters a smile on his face. It would fool most, but I know him well enough to know it isn't genuine. "Yeah, sorry I just burst in here," he pauses while shaking his head from side-to-side as a disgruntled chuckle escapes his lips. Shrugging, he explains, "Guess you don't think about knocking when you come in your own house?"

Stepping closer to me, Edward pulls me in to his side and slings his arm over my shoulder. "Yeah, I can understand that. All is forgiven. Sorry you caught us on the couch, guess you don't think about people catching you acting inappropriately in your own home either, huh?"

My entire body freezes at his words. _Was he deliberately trying to hurt Emmett or was he just that oblivious? _

I could hear and feel my teeth grinding together as extreme anger overtakes my mind, my body slightly trembling. Could Edward just be stating facts, seeing as he's entitled to make such calls because I _am_ his girlfriend, and he doesn't think it will affect Emmett? Yes, this is very plausible. Could I be overreacting for the second time today? Again, it's possible. However, the moment I pull my face out of Edward's side, and look at Emmett who appears physically broken with his shoulders hunched over and his head hanging low, I want nothing more than to curse at Edward for being so cold-hearted.

Without raising his face to us, Emmett replies, "Well, like I said, sorry to intrude. Um, I guess I'm just going to go to my room now. Sorry, again."

I watch as he disappears beyond the hallway before I turn to Edward, my throat thick and my eyes burning with unshed moisture. Trying to find my voice, I squeak, "What was _that_ about?"

He shrugs nonchalantly, questioning in return, "What was _what_ about?"

Gesturing my hands around my head wildly, I ask exasperatedly, "THAT! That whole little scene just then, what was _that_ about?"

Clearing his throat, he answers, "I really think you need to calm down. I don't know what you're talking about."

I snort, replying, "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why'd you have to be so mean?"

I study him as he paces momentarily before he stops in front of me, scrubbing his palms over the length of his face before he drops his hands and stares at me coldly. "I can't... Fuck, I can't hold this shit in anymore. You know what, I may or may not know what you're talking about, who knows? But perhaps, _you _should fill me in on the reasons why I should feel ashamed and have to apologize for groping my girlfriend in my own home on a couch that _I_ helped pay for? I don't need anyone's permission, least of all _his_. While you're explaining _that_ to me, maybe you could help me understand why you give a fuck. Why do you care so much, Bella? So what, he caught us on the couch and I clarified it for him, big fucking deal!"

I just gawk at him while he continues on with his verbal tirade, his tone rising as the words depart from his lips. When he stops, he looks at me expectantly, his chest heaving and his breaths coming out in quick pants, but I don't know what to say. I don't even know myself why it matters so much, so surely I can't offer him an honest explanation.

"You know what, I am _so _not having this conversation with you right now," I whisper furiously, before I turn on my heel to walk out of the room.

When I'm halfway down the hall, he screams, "See, this is exactly why we need our own place!"

Being the mature individual that I am, I slam the door, trapping myself inside my bedroom. With my vision blurred from tears, I stumble to the bed and frantically pull back the covers, sliding in and pulling the comforter to my face to quieten my sobs.

After ten minutes of pouring all my fury and aggravation from my body through leaking tear-ducts and a trembling frame, I'm left with my anger deflated and a sense of exhaustion draping over my mind like a thick blanket. Emotionally, this day has been so draining. I can barely remember the cheerfulness I exuded earlier in the day, all that gone to waste by my own hands. Now, Emmett is somewhere in this house hurting, Edward is mad at me and probably upset, too. It seems like the harder I try to make everyone happy, I keep inflicting pain on the people that mean the most to me in this world. _Bella Swan, fucker-up of all things good and loved. _Personally, I'm starting to believe that everyone would be better off without me in their lives. Everywhere I go and anything I touch seems to cause someone heartache, and I'm just sick and tired. I'm so irritated and fatigued with this whole ordeal. I wish I could just shut it off, turn down the rambling of my thoughts and insistent worry that accompanies my situation like an electric switch. Disconnect the power and not feel, or think, or try to understand. I'm done... or at least, I wish I were.

I realize my actions from earlier are irrational. I had no right to scream at Edward, he didn't deserve to be treated so unfairly and now, I can justify his reasoning for him saying what he did. My reaction, however, is inexcusable. I'm acting like a petulant toddler, throwing my tantrum because things aren't going the way I want them to. Throughout these past few months, I knew I was hurting Edward, but I don't think I ever truly stopped to wonder how far the depth of his pain ran. I could sense it tonight in his outburst. There was always the guilt I felt afterward, but never enough to assuage my actions or to stop me from repeating them. For once, I truly grasp how much of a monumental mistake I've made, and the detrimental strain I've placed on mine and Edward's relationship. Not only have I caused myself grief, but the people I share my home with are suffering, too. I'm sure Edward has noticed the changes between Emmett and myself. Looking back, they were hard to ignore. I can't imagine the agony I'd experience knowing that Edward was sharing that part of himself with someone other than me. And then there's Emmett. I keep saying that we are _rebuilding_ our friendship, but what if it's beyond repair. You can't truly undo the feelings or intimacy that we have for one another now, and ultimately, that part of us will never be fixed or feel whole because we can't _be together_ anymore. Finally, there is proud and fierce Rose. Would she ever be able to admit to herself or anyone else the way this was honestly affecting her? We definitely aren't as close as we used to be, and I'm already noticing the separation of our friendly bond. I'm unable to share my secrets with her out of fear, all my inner turmoil centered on my unrequited feelings for her boyfriend and the struggle I have with myself to keep Edward because of it. I'm sure she's incapable of coming to me for the very same reason. I'm a terrible human being, too caught up in my own selfish existence to consider the feelings of others.

Letting my eyes linger around the room that I share with Edward, I'm assaulted with physical evidence of the person I love as my eyes focus on pictures of us adorning the wall. In one, I'm sitting in between his bent knees, his arms snaking around my body, smiles etching across our faces and we look happy. It was taken in the first year of our relationship, when things were new and crazy, our days filled with excitement and discovery. I was simply enchanted by the his presence as he was with mine. In another, a photograph during our second year together, we're dancing. Our fingers are interwoven, resting on his chest as I lay my cheek on his arm and he's looking down at me, an expression of complete adoration lighting up his face. That was the year of familiarity, a time when he knew me and I knew him, and we did things just to see the spark of true joy in the other's eyes. Glancing to the nightstand, I see the one of us kissing. Rose had taken it the night that we had all moved in this apartment together. Behind us, the space is filled with mountains of unmarked boxes, but we were too wrapped up in one another to notice. I had been so thrilled to be a permanent fixture in his life, in all of their lives, and you could see how much devotion was between Edward and me in that photo. There was a fire between us because we burned for one another, our eyes closed because their was the nothing but unmistakable trust and security we found in our union. Picking up the frame and hugging it to my chest, I realize that moment captured in time was in a focal point in our lives when the affection between us was unrelenting, still blossoming, and wouldn't have been destroyed. We just need to get back to that. We have to, but can we? Is there any part in that old relationship that's salvageable, or is it far too late, nothing there for us to save? With my dad's words echoing in my brain, I breathe and coach inwardly, _Bella, you just need to have a little faith._

A soft knock catches my attention as the door opens and Edward says despondently, "Dinner's ready."

He doesn't wait for any acknowledgement from me before he starts pulling the door closed. My eyes flash quickly to the photo again and right before the door clicks, I croak hoarsely, "Edward, wait."

My throat is raw from all the crying, and I run my hands over my neck nervously as I wait for his response. Three thundering beats of my heart pass until he finally pushes the door ajar and steps inside the room, letting the door fasten quietly behind him. Placing the photo in its previous perch on the stand, I crawl across the mattress on my knees and beckon him with the wave of my hand to join me. Lazily, he strides to the end of the bed, stopping a foot from the bedpost with his eyes cast toward the hardwood floor. Digging my fingers into the space between his body and the top of his pants, I pull him to me and tightly wrap my arms around his waist. With my face buried in the material of his shirt, I just breathe him in as a trail of fresh tears trickle down my cheeks. Finally, I swallow and whisper, "Edward, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

A shaky breath escapes him then and it ruffles my hair as he bends over, placing a gentle kiss against my temple. Resting his cheek on the top of my head, he says, "Yeah, I forgive you."

Maybe it's the tone of his voice or the firmness of his hold as he hugs my body to his, but this seems more than just forgiveness for our argument. It seems like acceptance for my shitty behavior, the pain he's dealt with, and for all the times I betrayed his trust. We just stand there like this, unmoving, for what seems like hours, but it's probably only minutes until he finally pulls away. Sitting on the bed alongside of me, he turns to face me, declaring, "And I owe you an apology, too."

I shake my head, but he stills me by placing his palm against my cheek. "No, I do. My words were probably a little too harsh. It's just, these past... nevermind. Look, I really do believe we need to get our own place. Living with roommates is beginning to be a little much." He pauses for a second before adding on in a whisper, "I feel like all this is taking a toll on our relationship, and I don't want to lose you."

I swat the tear away from my cheek and nod, "You're right, and we'll start looking."

He picks me up then, wrapping me in his arms me and peppering kisses all over my face.

"You won't regret it, I promise," he says, a large smile splitting his face while his eyes shimmer with happiness. _Let's hope not_, I tack on wordlessly.

* * *

It's now Thursday, the day before Edward leaves for his business trip, and a whole three days have passed since the Monday night fiasco. I'm becoming increasingly more anxious as the hours tick away, worrying endlessly about my weekend alone with Emmett, even more so now than before. Sightings of him have been far and few between since he disappeared to his room that night. When I get up in the mornings, he's already gone for work and when he comes in late at night, he stops by the refrigerator and then retreats to his room without speaking to anyone. So, on this particular evening, the three of us- Rosalie, Edward, and me- are holding our breath when he walks silently into the kitchen and grabs a plate, stuffing it with food before taking his seat at the table with us.

Edward, bless his heart, awkwardly tries to alleviate the tension with discussion about his and Rose's impending trip, but Emmett's one syllable replies make it difficult for the conversation to flow properly. Tensely, my eyes shuffle between Edward as he continues to talk about random topics and Emmett, who just pushes his food around on his plate, picking at it with his fork, and occasionally takes a small bite. Suddenly, I don't have an appetite anymore, so I fold my napkin on the table and take Edward's hand under the table. He squeezes it affectionately and I smile at him.

Edward finally runs out of subjects to discuss and silence falls around the table, thick and full of unease. Every so often, a scrape of silverware reverberates in the quiet room, but mostly time passes by the timely tick of the clock on the wall and fabric brushing against the chairs as we adjust our seated positions in different intervals.

Abruptly, Rose clears her throat and turns to Emmett, questioning, "So, did you hear, babe?"

He pauses the shifting of his fork and looks up at her along with the rest of the table as my heart starts beating rapidly, curious about her inquisition.

His gaze shifts around to land on all of us before he looks back at her and shakes his head, replying, "Nope, hear what?"

Grinning, she bounces in her seat and exclaims, "Edward and Bella are getting their own place!"

Clapping excitedly, she turns to Edward and me as I sit in my seat physically stunned. My eyes dance across the space until they connect with Emmett's when he lets his fork drop haphazardly to the plate with a clank. A rush of air blows from between my lips as I place a tentative smile on my face when Edward squeezes my thigh reassuringly, but I can feel my stomach begin to churn when my heart plummets down into it.

After wiping his mouth with his napkin, he tosses it to the table and answers, "Well, that's... great. When's the big move, guys?"

He raises his eyebrows as his gaze lingers at the both of us, and I can tell he's pissed. However, Edward, being none the wiser, starts commenting on how we plan to start searching after this weekend, but we aren't in a huge rush because we're not going to settle on the first thing that comes along. I want to stomp on Edward's foot so he'll just shut up, but I don't. I want to be upset with Rose for opening up this line of communication before I had a chance to tell him myself, but I can't fault her for that. How could she possibly know the problems this is going to create for me? When Emmett excuses himself from the table, I feel the need to go and talk to him, but Edward's strong grip on my hand keeps me at the table. Yet, my heart lurches when his blue eyes don't find mine before he dismisses himself and he walks away. I attempt to find comfort in Edward's green ones, but it doesn't fill the void.

Later, I'm laying in the bed with Edward, my body curling around his, but my mind is down the hall being occupied by that room's inhabitant. I don't sleep at all.

* * *

As daylight slithers through the thick curtains in our room, I roll over and place my head over Edward's chest, finding a peaceful solitude in the patterned _dub dub_ of his heart. Brushing my hair away from his chest, he places his hand on my back and starts making soothing sweeps up and down my spine as he rouses from his sleep. "Mmmm. Morning, Sweetheart," he croons huskily. Sitting up a little, he kisses my forehead, and throws the covers off his legs.

"Morning," I whisper sadly, dolefully running my fingertips through the thin hairs sparsely covering his chest.

Sliding his thumb along my jaw, he uses it tilt to my chin so that I'm looking at him, asking, "Hey, what's the matter?"

My eyes immediately fill with tears and I admit, "I don't want you to go."

Sighing, he runs his hands through his hair and responds, "And I don't want to go either, but you know I have to. This bonus alone would allow us to put a decent deposit on a home or condo."

"I know, but can't you leave later or something, maybe fly up first thing tomorrow morning on your own?" I ask anxiously, chewing on my bottom lip worriedly.

"You know I can't, the company is depending on me. Plus, we have the initial dinner with the clients tonight, you know that. Bella, what is this? You've never acted this way before any of my other trips," he states, and I can hear a hint of irritation in his voice and see it in the set of his jaw. However, I don't want to spell it out for him. I don't think the words "I'm afraid that something will happen with Emmett because I don't trust myself to be alone with him" would make Edward's trip easier for anyone, least of all him. He's part of a huge business, and for them to remain successful, they need him at his best, focused and not worried about matters back at home, including me. I need to suck it up and get my shit together.

Blowing my bangs out of my face, I push myself up and off of him. Diverting my eyes, I mumble, "I just... don't... _you know_."

He reaches over and pinches my side, giving me a little tickle, and hops out of bed. Looking down at me, he remarks, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." _If only it were that simple._

I wrap my arms around my legs and lay my head on my knees as I watch him rush around the room, getting ready for work and rechecking his suitcase for all the last minute necessities. We make small talk and I ask about his itinerary for the weekend. He promises he'll check in as often as he can and that beats down some of my anxiety. After thirty minutes, he's situating his tie at the base of his neck while his reflection smiles at me in the mirror. I try to offer him one in return, but my attempt falls short. Turning around, he walks back to the bed and tucks some loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"Are you really that worried about this?" he questions sincerely as his emerald eyes search mine.

I rub absently at my calf muscles, my arms still tight around my legs, as I nod my head up and down while avoiding his gaze.

"Well, if it means anything, I trust you. And if things just get too complicated, you can always go visit your parents again. I'm sure they'd love to have you," he encourages. The sentiment is sweet, but his words don't give me the security I'm sure he thinks they do.

"Yeah," I reply weakly.

Kissing me quickly on the lips, he slips his suit jacket on and grabs the handle of his suitcase. "I gotta get out of here or I'm going to be late for work. I'll call you before I board the plane. Everything's going to be okay, you'll see," he says confidently, smirking at me from across the room.

With that, he rushes out the door and I'm left to an empty house and my nerves eating away at my stomach. I decide a trip to the gym is in order and that a yoga class and a good cardio session will help me get rid of all this negative energy. Getting up, I head for the shower, ready to get past this weekend and on with the rest of my life.

_I just need to survive this weekend... without touching, tasting, or feeling Emmett. No biggie. Right?_

_

* * *

_

_**EmPOV**_

I sit at my desk, looking out across my empty classroom, as I wait for my students to come in after the bell to start the school day. They've proven to be a good distraction throughout these past few weeks, but today I can't seem to focus at all. My mind easily drifts to the hellstorm that has become my week, and as much as I want to forget everything and move on like Bella seems so capable of doing, I'm unable to live outside of my own brain and plaguing thoughts. On Monday, Bella offered me a tiny glimmer of hope when she came to visit me here, only to strip it away the moment I stepped into our home that night. Her and Edward, on the couch, immediately replaced the images of the time I shared with her on that particular piece of furniture. All the intimacy I experienced with her ripped away much like a tornado leaves the countryside- broken, barren, and jagged. It was like a punch to the gut and Edward's confirmation was salt in my wounds.

Shaking my head to clear it of those inner ramblings, I smile as some of the boys from the team walk in the room and call my name. We go over a few plays as we wait for the rest of the students to file in after the bell rings, and then I'm asking everyone to take their seats so class can begin. Today is the first test of the year, and I almost decide to change it to next week because I need the diversion of teaching to quieten the rampage of personal thoughts flooding my brain. Reluctantly, I choose to carry on with the scheduled exam because I remember hating teacher's swapping test dates and shit when I was in school. I pass out the test papers and tell everyone to turn on their computers while I take my seat at the head of the room, watching the students busy themselves in preparation. Soon after, the room falls silent and the minutes move by at a sluggish pace.

It doesn't take long before my mind is traveling again, this time to the moment when Rose excitedly revealed to me that Bella and Edward were moving out. Maybe I misunderstood everything about our circumstances if she was able to move on and forget me so quickly. I always figured Bella had feelings growing for me like I had her, but maybe I'm just a fucking dumbass. Maybe the whole time I thought the realm of our relationship was expanding and becoming deeper, she was actually just using me to get off. Was that it, had she gotten on, gotten off, and gotten done with me once she had her fill? That's exactly how it feels right now, like I was used and cast away. Okay, so maybe I'm bitter about how I found out about the moving situation, preferring to have heard it from Bella's mouth instead of Rose. _Why, so I could try and talk her out of it?_ Bella isn't really _that_ type of person; I know she's not. She's selfless and incredible, and as her best friend, I'll just have to deal with the fact that's she's happy with Edward now and try to refocus on my own souring relationship with Rose. I, at least, owe her that much, and Rose deserves someone to be fully committed to her as well. Besides, Rosalie appeared relatively happy about Bella and Edward getting their own spot. Perhaps it was the extra push she needed to get the ball rolling on our future together.

"Five minutes," I declare, while checking my watch, letting the kids know the amount of time left in the period to finish their tests.

The bell rings as one class leaves and another comes in. As much as my mind wandered in the previous class, I realize I'll be a nervous wreck by the end of the day.

Two more classes pass in much the same fashion, the monotony of this particular day only leaving me time to contemplate the matters in my life and the ways I've proceeded to fuck it all up. I'm not sure when Rose and my relationship turned South, but after a major fight from a month and a half ago blew over, we just seem content to live and let die. We have sex, we talk, but we don't really connect anymore. I suppose a large portion of that has to be my fault, seeing as I was too preoccupied with Bella to devote the time and energy it takes to keep Rose happy while my mind was otherwise engaged. Immediately, a plan formulates in my head and I actually get excited about the prospect that I might be able to pull it off.

It's the last class before lunch, and I only have one more before my free period and then football practice. I rush to the office and feign sick, leaving instructions for the assistant coach and the team this afternoon before I sign out and leave for the day. Hopping in the jeep, I travel down the highway to my barber shop. Bella has never outrightly voiced that she likes my curls, but with the way she would run her hands through my hair, I always felt like she liked its length. Rose prefers it short, though, stating that it makes me seem more like the responsible man that I need to be now. So, by choosing to cut off my hair, perhaps I'm ultimately choosing Rose, and taking a step in the right direction once and for all.

* * *

After I write a short message on the card and stuff it inside the bouquet, I pay for the flowers and exit the shop. Making my way across the street, I pull out my phone and call the restaurant to double-check that the table I reserved an hour earlier is still available. I jump in my jeep, checking my new reflection in the mirror, and rub absently at the slight growth at my jaw and chin. I doubt I have time to go back to the house and shave, so I drive across town to Rose's place of employment, intent on whisking her away before she leaves for her trip.

If I'm being honest, it feels rather nice to have set up this little dinner in an effort to win Rosalie's attention and affection once more. Briefly, I'm reminded about the days when I courted her at college, and my stomach flutters instantaneously, like a million butterflies are let loose in my gut. The whole ride in the elevator to her floor, my heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty. If I wasn't as confident as hell, feeling suave as a motherfucker in my new suit, I'd probably feel ridiculous. As the elevator door chimes, I glance at my reflection in the mirror and pump myself up mentally. As soon as I exit between the metal doors, Rose's laugh filters through the air and a smile creeps across my face. It's heartfelt and real, I haven't laughed or barely felt my lips curl upward in over a month, so this feels different and lighthearted. I almost breathe easier, my dimples working themselves into each cheek, as I strut down the main aisle, intent on giving Rose her surprise and kissing her so hard that our heads will spin.

First, I stop at the secretary's desk and state, "I'm here to see Rosalie Hale."

"It's good to see you again, Mr. McCarty, just one second." She smiles politely and picks up her phone, before she sets it back down and looks up at me. "She doesn't seem to be in her office, but I know I just heard her."

"Thank you, that's fine. I'm sure I can find her around her somewhere," I reply, turning my head from side to side, trying to pinpoint the direction her laugh came from.

Rose laughs heartily again, and I take off down the aisle, curious to what has her so giggly today. My stride becomes a little quicker, and I can't seem to get to her fast enough. My heart is galloping in my chest and my breathing is uneven as I realize momentarily how much I've truly missed being around her. I round the corner to her office and stop short when my eyes take in the scene before me. She's standing in the middle of a large group of men, talking ardently while she makes ostentatious gestures with her hands. They all laugh at her joke, one that I'm not privy to understanding because I can't hear anything but the loud pulsing of my heart in my ears. She reaches up to a tall guy with blond hair, playfully swatting at his shoulder before she leans her head against his arm. Another guy, this one is shorter but more physically built, grabs her hand and pulls her to his side. He gives her a spin, much like they're dancing, and she smiles brightly while her dress flares out around her and her curls bounce against her back. She's always been a flirt, but at this point in our lives, I don't see why I can't be enough for her. Why does she need the attention of all these men? Don't I make her feel important enough, like she's the only person I want? What do they have that I don't? Is it the money or the cushioned lifestyle, something I'll never be able to give her?

I swallow hard as I back away from her, feeling absolutely dejected as the bouquet swings limply in my left hand. With my right, I clutch at my side, acknowledging the pain that feels much like old wound being torn back open. My breathing is labored, my chest burns, and I need to find a restroom before I vomit on the expensive, designer carpeting.

Rushing into the bathroom at the end of the hall, I duck into the stall and empty the contents of my morning breakfast. Feeling dizzy, I sit on the dirty public floor, disgusted and unable to think about anything more than another failed attempt at sorting out my life. After a short period of time elapses, I drag myself off the floor and to the sink to wash my hands. I splash some water on my face and decide when Rose gets home, we're going to have to have a long talk. I need to know what she wants out of this life, and if I'm ever going to be a part of it.

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**A/N: **So, where do we go from here? Will Bella be able to keep her hands to herself & if so, who will help Emmett pick up the pieces of his broken heart? *sniffles*

The beta wifey, **Live720**, and I were both completely exhausted seeing as we both decided to finish our chapters and update on the same day. If you happen to catch a grammatical, spelling, or error of any sorts, please let me know so I can fix it. If not, then I apologize for any mistakes you might find, and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.

Thank you all for your continued support! I can't even begin to explain how much every single one of you mean to me! Oh, and **GO VOTE, please! **(That's just a reminder.)

Smooches,

Christina


	18. Chapter 18: Distance & Admitted Feelings

**So, I'm back, another week and another chapter down? Do you love me? I would now like to express my unwavering love for all those that continue to read, review, alert, and favorite this story. We are now 3 chapters from the conclusion of this story (& yes, this is including the epilogue).**

**Musical inspiration for this chapter is "The Gift" by Seether. It doesn't really fit with Emmett or Bella, I just used it to help me get all emo and in the zone. Polyvore is on my profile.**

**I'm also on Twitter (I always forget to say this), link is also in my profile.**

************Disclaimer****:** **_**All recognizable characters, settings, references, and lyrics are property of their respective owners, no copyright infringement intended. I don't own it, but I wouldn't mind having a fraction of the salary that they have. *le dreamy sigh***_  


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**"Chapter 18: Distance and Admitted Feelings"**

_**BPOV**_

I climb up the stairs, still breathing heavily and exhausted from my workout, to the apartment on the third floor. Situating the phone between my ear and my right shoulder, I dig through my gym bag in search of my keys. I huff and say, "Hey, baby, can you hold on a second, I can't find my house key?"

"Sure, take your time," Edward responds, the hustle and bustle of the airport muddling his words through the receiver.

Crouching down, I place my cell on the ground and rummage through my gym-bag with both hands. One of my fingers eventually hooks around a link, and I exhale in relief as the familiar metal clanking of my key chains sound and I grip the hard edge of the key in my palm. I pick my phone back up, and breathe elatedly, "Oh, thank God. I thought I had locked them inside my truck for a second."

His laugh filters through the line, and I smile. When I stand up, my empty water bottle tumbles from my open bag, the plastic echoing across the concrete. I kneel to retrieve it, groaning and grumbling profanities as my body descends toward the ground. The burning and aching of my freshly-used muscles causes me to wince when I stand, so I knead my sore hamstring for a few seconds. Turning back toward the door, I insert the key in the lock while asking, "So, what time is your flight scheduled to land in Chicago?"

Walking inside, I drop my bag by the table and walk to our pantry to put the bottle in the recycling bin. I listen to Edward prattle on about how stupid the airport security is and how the lines seem to be endless today, the conversation being filled with non-consequential information, and quickly loses my interest. Opening the door, I toss the crumpled plastic in the green container when my attention is instantly drawn to a large flower assortment sitting atop the trash. Picking them up, I hum and mumble replies to Edward's inquiries, seeming as though I'm listening even though I'm not. Lifting them to my face, I smile and inhale the floral aroma, the soft edges of the wild flowers tickling my nose as the soft fragrance entices my olfactory system. My hand pushes inside the arrangement, the tips of my fingers being tickled by the the dainty petals, as I eagerly search for a card because my curiosity's gotten the better of me.

Finally discovering the tiny envelope, I pull the slip of paper from it, and look over my shoulder to make sure I won't be getting caught. Immediately, I recognize the familiar script, Emmett's loopy and slanted cursive jumping off the paper, and it suddenly becomes more intriguing.

Edward's voice comes across the line again, and I startle, forgetting that he been on the phone. I rack my brain to try and remember his question, but quickly realize that his voice had faded into the background once I'd seen the discarded bouquet and began my detective work as for their purpose there. "Mmmhmm," I answer indifferently, trying not to let on to my unknowing discomfort. My response seems to appease him as he goes back to talking and I get back to half-listening as my heart thumps in my ears, my fingers trembling as I open the note.

My eyes dance over the statement, the weightlessness of the thin sheet appearing significantly heavier as my brain absorbs the message.

**Rose, I miss you.**

**~ Teddy Bear**

My eyes prickle with tears instantaneously as bitterness creeps into my heart, choking me. I want to be jealous and angry with Emmett. Part of me wants these flowers to be mine, for their velvety soft petals only to be felt by me. A larger part of me covets this simple statement, wishing it was reserved for my eyes alone, heard exclusively by my ears, and felt its depth solely in my heart, in my very being.

I crush the surge of hurt because I don't have the privilege of feeling such a thing. Emmett knows _true_ hurt. I've wounded him more times in this one week than I can count, more times than any once person should ever have to endure. I can accept the pain, but he doesn't deserve the responsibility of causing it. I shoulder that blame wholly by myself.

I rub the moisture trailing down my cheek against the cloth of my sweaty shirt covering my shoulder. Readjusting the phone, I place the card back in the flowers and put them back in the garbage. I silently speculate, _What are they doing in there anyway?_

Focusing on my conversation with Edward again, I listen as he tells me about some innocuous activity happening tomorrow. In that moment, I'm aware that I find the details about his work really... _boring_. Pretentious clients, mundane floor plans, endless meetings filled with vexing chatter- it is all very blah-dee-fucking blah to me. I walk past the living room toward my bedroom and nearly jump out of my skin when I catch Emmett's muscular frame in my peripheral vision. Just as I'm about to stomp away, my jealously resurfacing from a few minutes prior, he sniffles and swats away a lingering tear from his face. My heart drops.

"Edward, I gotta go," I whisper, my hushed tone interrupting his monologue mid-sentence.

"Wait, what? Why?" he asks, his confusion apparent in the tone of his question.

"Um, my mom is calling," I lie quickly, cringing slightly at the dishonesty spewing from between my parted lips.

"Oh, well, we're about to board anyway. I'll call you when we land," he says, the tenor of words sounding clipped and serious. _Shit, does he know I'm lying? _I wonder to myself.

"Yeah yeah, okay. That sounds great," I reply hurriedly, eager to get him off the phone.

"Bella," he pauses for a few silent seconds before stating, "I love you." The sincerity in his words grip my heart, and I know he does, undoubtedly. Every bone in my body feels his love, even through the phone.

I swallow greedily, pushing down the guilt for my fabricated lie, as unease causes my body to start trembling. I've never told an outright untruth to Edward before. "I love you, too," I say raspily before ending the call.

Wringing my hands, I rock from one foot to the other as I study Emmett's hunched form across the room. My eyes dart to the empty hallway as I think about making an easy escape, but looking at him once more, I stand firmly rooted in my spot at the stoop just above the living room. He's surrounded by a plethora of photo albums as he sits huddled in the middle of the floor, his legs spread wide in front of him as his fingers flip absently between to the pages. Slowly, he raises his watery, blue eyes to meet mine and my feet are moving long before my brain is aware of the action. I stop just short of him, gasping lightly as I wrap my arms around my stomach, the need to touch or hold him too overwhelming.

The air between us is suffocating as we just stare at one another wordlessly. I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth, chewing on it worriedly, unsure how to break the silence or wondering if he even wants me to. Finally, his bottom lips quivers and another lone tear escapes from the corner of his eye and travels slowly over the swell of his cheek, landing mutely on the collar of his dress-shirt. This seems to break whatever hold he has over himself and he's reduced to a sobbing, quaking mess of a person. I don't ever remember seeing a man cry before, and I cover my mouth, trying to keep my own choking tears from making any further sounds. Without another passing second, I drop to my knees between his legs and pull his face to my chest as I wrap my arms around his neck. He rushes to throw the stack of pictures from his lap and grips my small torso against him. His tremors cause my own body to shake forcefully as his endless tears soak through my already dampened clothing, and I'm at a loss of what to do for him. He clutches to me like a lifeline, the back of my shirt twisting in his grasp as he hugs me closer to his body, the fabric of my shirt partially masking his cries.

We stay like this for a while, me cradling his face against my chest while running my fingers up and down the nape of his neck, him drowning in his pain and holding on to me tightly. After some time though, he grows quieter and we sit in silence, his face still buried between my breasts and hidden from view. After a few minutes of peace, I pull away from him and try to appraise the situation. Initially, he tries to hide his eyes from me, but I'm not having any of that. I hold his jaw between both of my hands and force his gaze to meet mine as I search his blue depths for any indication of what is causing him so much pain.

Brokenly, he whispers, "You must think I'm a big fucking baby now, huh?" He tries to laugh jokingly, but it falters and transforms into a grimace.

"No, I don't, but I would like to know what's going on with you. Are you... _okay_?" I ask pitifully in return, my thumbs brushing away the moisture beside his lips. For a few moments, he turns into my palm as my hand curves around his cheek, trying to comfort him. He breathes evenly, in and out, in and out. But the, his features fall and his face hangs limply in my hands as he shrugs noncommittally, a frown tugging downward on his pouting lips. "Yes, no, who knows," he replies, his voice sounding hoarse as it cracks on the last word.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" I question carefully, curious about what's caused him to react this way, but not wanting to push him to talk if he doesn't feel up to it.

Exhaling, he sits back, pulling his knees up to his chest, as his eyes scan around at the hundreds of pictures scattered on the floor around us. I already miss his warmth, the feel of his skin against mine, so I mimic his position as I continue to watch him with bated breath.

He motions around to the collection of images and photos with his hand while saying, "I just...I don't know when it all went to shit. With me and Rose, you know?"

I shake my head from left to right slowly because I didn't know. I wasn't even really aware that they were having problems. Aside from the fight they had over a month ago, things seemed to be fine between them, or so I thought.

I'm a horrible friend.

Leaning his head to the the side, he sits quietly for a minute. The way his lips purse together insinuates he's thinking to himself, possibly deciding the best prose to divulge the inner workings of his mind to me. I lounge back then, leaning on my elbows, and let my legs sprawl out in front of me. He crawls over to me then, pushing some of the albums out of the way as he lays on his stomach and rests his head on his folded arms, his eyes closing automatically. He exhales roughly again, his minted breath fanning out in front of him and causing some of the dangling waves of my hair to sway behind me. I shiver involuntarily.

"I can remember a time when I was so wrapped up in her. God, like a moth to a flame, she drew me in and held me captivated. She was the first girl that ever made me work for her attention, and so I think her cat and mouse games kept me interested until I fell for her. After the first year we were together, nothing else in the world mattered, but her and football. Life was so amazing, had purpose even, but I knew things were too good to be true. I was about to go pro, I had this gorgeous, intelligent, fire-spitting woman that loved me unconditionally, and all my dreams were going to be realized. I was going to win the Heisman, sign with some high profile team in the NFL, marry a girl right out of my fantasies, she would have my kids, and we'd all live happily ever after in some million dollar mansion in a private, gated community for top dollar athletes. But then two years later when I lost football, I held on to her tighter because I was so afraid that I was at _that_ point. That point were you realize that everything that you worked so fucking hard for was about to slip away and there wasn't shit you could do about it. I knew Rose loved me, but a small part of me always felt like she held on to my dream of going places more than I did, you know? But then she stayed with me, she helped me through my recovery, and I'll be damned if that didn't make me fall more in love."

He opens his eyes then and I nod silently for him to continue as I readily absorb all that he's saying, even if it hurts to her him speak of such reverence for Rose.

Closing his eyes, he continues, "But, we just want different things. I want a small wedding on a beach, intimate with family and friends. She wants this huge ass extravaganza with tons of people we- or I- barely know with a hefty price tag to match. I want a simple life filled with kids and laughter. She wants the money and a career, to wait. She says she _needs_ us to be at a better time in our lives, when we're more _stable_, whatever the hell that means. I always figured we'd end up on the same page eventually, but it seems like we're reading entirely different books these days. It's like the harder I try to make her happy or to make her proud of me, the less she is. I thought getting this job with the high school, them seeking me out and offering me the opportunity to be head coach my first year, would make her realize my potential, but now she just throws my substandard-compared-to-her income in my face. I'm not going to lie, that knocks me down a few begs on the ego totem pole. I know I still love her, and I feel like on some level she still cares about me, but sometimes I wonder if we aren't two totally different people than who we were when we fell in love all those years ago."

He continues to talk, often recalling days long passed on campus, retelling the ways he won her heart, and even disclosing how at one point he had planned to propose, but lost the nerve because Rosalie intimidated the hell out of him. Several times we find ourselves in rolling laughter with his recollections, and I had forgotten how much fiercer Rose was back in our early years of college.

After a while, the conversation dies down, and he lays there quietly, probably processing all his thoughts while I do the same. I want nothing more than to call Rose and bitch her out for not realizing what incredible guy she has and make her see how unfairly she's treating him. She needs to understand how much she's hurting him, killing his spirit. I don't think she truly comprehends what a valuable companion she has in Emmett, and how closely she is to losing him right now.

Finally, he rolls over and moans, throwing his arms over his face. I look at the clock and realize a little over an hour and a half has passed since I found him when I first got home. Edward will be calling soon. Just like he can hear my thoughts from over thousands of miles away, my phone rings, the familiar chime set for Edward filling the room with its musical theme. I rise quickly, jogging across the space to retrieve my cell.

"Hello," I answer, my eyes darting back to Emmett as I observe his peaceful form stretching out across the rug.

"Hey, Beautiful. You and your mom have a good chat?" he questions.

"Huh?" I ask dumbly before my eyes grow wide and I stumble through my response. "Oh yeah, my mom... her calling earlier. Um, yeah, she's great. Her and dad, they're doing awesome. She's good." I grind my fist against my forehead, silently admonishing myself, _Could I sound any more ridiculous or unconvincing?_

And since nothing gets past Edward, he asks, "Are you alright; is everything okay?"

I breath in deeply, trying to still my nerves, and reply, "Yeah. I think I'm just getting a bug or maybe it's food poisoning from the takeout I ate earlier today. I'm not feeling all that well." I wince because for the second time today in less than two hours, I'm telling my second lie. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

"Do you want me to call Dad and have him come over to check you out?" he questions worriedly, and now I feel even more horrible. He doesn't need to be concerned about me.

"No, I think I'm just going to lay down for a while. I think it'll pass if I just take a nap or something," I answer, adding this lie to my already record-breaking total. This is absurd.

I glance at Emmett again and he's watching me, a perplexed expression shrouding his face as his eyebrows knit together. I just roll my eyes and wave him off.

"Okay, take some medicine and get some rest. Call me if you need me, no matter the time. Dad can get to you pretty quickly if you need him," he reassures me, making my guilt exponentially worse.

"Okay, I will. I'll call you in the morning anyway," I say, trying to give him a little reassurance of my own.

"I love you."

"Yeah, you too," I mumble, immediately wishing I would have attempted to make it sound more believable.

The line cuts off, the dialtone immediately filling my ear. I drop the phone to coffee table before I slump into the cushions of the couch, patting the empty spot beside me, signaling for Emmett to join me. He pushes himself off the floor and falls down roughly into the cushions beside me. Turning his body sideways, his back to the cushions, he lays down and rests his head in my lap. My body stiffens instantaneously, but softens afterward as he nudges my thigh with his chin, repositioning his face while hugging my legs with his left arm. Absentmindedly, my hand finds his hair and I run my fingers through the shortened tresses, all his curls gone.

"You cut your hair," I remark.

He murmurs an unintelligible response as his thumb brushes against my exposed skin, making goosebumps run up of the length of my leg.

"I don't like it," I admit, making him chuckle freely. He rolls over, lying flat on his back then, and stares at me for a moment before he closes his eyes. Emotionally exhausted, with my fingernails lightly scratching at his scalp, he slips into a deep sleep. He snores softly after a few minutes, his long eyelashes fluttering against to top of his cheeks as his eyes dance behind his lids, making me smile.

My mind begins to drift during this time as I picture his wedding details from earlier, and it's easy to imagine. Standing on the edge of the cliff, the water spray sounding in the air as it crashes against the rocks below us. The salty seawater blankets the earth, its heady scent strong, but not overpowering. The sun setting over the ocean glints off the water and provides the perfect backdrop, painting the heavens with luscious purples and blues, wisps of warm oranges, yellows, and soft pinks breaking up the darker tones darting across the sky. Aside from the sea below, the air is permeated by the sweet perfumes of bouquets made from orchids and calla lilies, their vibrant colors a beautiful contrast to the simple, yet elegant wedding gown. Whispers from a small gathering of friends and family help feel the void and eventually they'll erupt in cheer once the ceremony is over. Soft salsa tunes play as everyone dances and mingles, celebrating the relationship that just became more, a marriage. It would be effortless, stress-free, and exhilarating all at the same time.

Then the vision transforms into a time long in the future and I'm picturing Emmett with his kids, everything the same as the day I watched his team practice, except for I come in to announce dinner instead of Rose. Emmett looks up at me and smiles as we usher our kids to the table. We all talk animatedly about our days, finding laughter as our son tells us excitedly about how he can't wait for his daddy to coach him in football and our daughter explores her option of becoming a princess when she grows up. Emmett adores her, and encourages her dream, telling her that she can live in a big castle and marry Prince Charming. Her face transform into one of disgust, stating how she wouldn't kiss him because boys have cooties. Emmett and I laugh at this, purposely sharing a tender kiss. Both are kids make gagging noises and giggles filled with life and love erupt around the table. I grasp his hand affectionately atop the table and he leans across the space to kiss me softly on my cheek. We tuck our kids in together, reading them a bedtime story before they say their prayers and we turn on their nightlights, leaving their rooms in a soft, shimmering glow. Once in the hall, he kisses me heartily, scooping me in his arms, and we travel to our room. He lays me down on the bed we share one another then, slowly undressing us both, and he makes love to me. It's be perfect and we are be happy in our life together.

I sigh dreamily as I come back to the present, my eyes darting downward as I watch him continue to sleep. My eyes sweep up and down the planes of his body and linger on his lips. I lick my own in response, distinctly remembering the way his fullness felt against mine. I fumble with my bottom lip, picking at it with my fingers on my left hand as trace the contours of his face with my right. _He's sleeping really soundly, he'd never even know,_ I muse silently. _No one would have to know, but me._

I bite my thumb, anxiously peering around the room as if Edward or Rose can hear my thoughts and are going to jump out to murder me for my traitorous musings. However, no one comes, and as the room begins to grow darker as the sun sets in the sky outside, my mind starts the war of deliberations. Quickly, my eyes jump back to his lips, and I can swear I can hear the pleading with me, begging me to touch them with my own. A chill passes through my body, causing me to shiver as a cold sweat gathers above my brow. I can't believe I'm even contemplating this idea right now, it's ludicrous to even think such things. But when my eyes shift to his perfectly pouted lips again, noticing the tiny part between them, anticipation floods my system making me floaty and light. _God, how I've missed his lips, his tongue, his taste. Just one little innocent kiss won't hurt. I've been so good, and no one will ever know, right? _I rationalize wordlessly in my mind.

Taking initiative, a quick burst of courage making me move, I lean forward and realize how awkward our positions are, making it difficult to connect our lips like I want to. Nonetheless, I peck his lips quickly with mine before sitting back up. My fingers find his hair again and I sigh happily. _See, no harm, no foul. That kiss was nothing. _

A few more minutes pass as an eerie calm inhabits my house, and I fidget agitatedly, no longer content with the _barely_ kiss I secretly stole moments ago. I eagerly recall the many kisses we've had before, and I bite the inside of my cheek. The immaculate detail of my memories floating effortlessly into my subconscious, making me remember his satin tongue on mine. I squeeze my thighs together tightly, an ache building between them as I breathe deeply to relax myself. It doesn't work and I search his face again. _Okay, just one more._

Sweeping my tongue across my lips, I lower my face to his again and press my lips softly to his, my breath escaping me instantly. He stirs minutely and I freeze, frigid and scared. My pounding heart slams against my ribs while I hold my breathe and watch him, waiting for him to fully awake and catch me hovering him. I quickly try to formulate what my response is going to be when he asks me what I'm doing? Much to my surprise, his breathing evens back out and he starts to snore again, and I sigh in relief. I'm still so close to him, too close. His lips are mere centimeters from mine and the display is too tempting. I'm greedy, and I can't ever seem to get enough of him. My dreams and recollections didn't do him justice, and I want to submerse myself in his earthy scent and minty breath. I place my lips on his again, but the marginal separation between us seems like this great divide, and I need more. Slowly, I trace his bottom lip, savoring the taste of him on my tongue and moan when he sighs into my mouth. Everything grows blurry and frenzied as my brain disconnects from my body and I'm seeking him out hungrily now, pushing my tongue between his parted lips. It makes brief contact with the tip of his tongue and a sultry purr rises from my chest. Desperately, I lick the inside of his lip, opening his lips further, and push my tongue further in his mouth. He awakens now, his tongue connecting with mine, and it's complete bliss. Turning his body toward me and leaning forward, he kisses me back ardently, our lips moving together fervently. I grip the collar of his shirt and pull him to me, trying to get closer even though there isn't any space left between us. I'm breathing heavily and my pulse is racing, I feel drunk with emotion. Separating us momentarily, Emmett sits up on the couch as I pant wantonly beside him. Gripping my hips, he picks me up with ease and sits me in his lap, making me straddle him. The simmering union between us sparks further, finally exploding as I grind against him shamelessly. He cups my jaw then, and brings my face back to his, kissing me with a passion that takes my breath away. The heat builds between us, but there's too many clothes and not enough friction to really push us over the edge. As if thinking the same thing, Emmett stands up, my legs still tangled around his waist and we share sloppy kisses as he stumbles toward his room.

I clumsily reach for the buttons on his shirt when he sits my feet on the ground, both of us wrestling for control and attempting to keep our lips locked as we strip one another of our clothing. Standing topless before him, I grab his hands in mine and move them to the side of his body. I trail my fingers up his chest and slowly push the material over his broad shoulders, my fingertips curving down over the slope of his bicep as I rid his body of the cotton fabric. Standing on my tip toes, I press a gentle kiss to his collarbone, breathing him in and loving this moment as the swell of my breasts melt into his skin. Pulling away, I look up at him, making out the contours of his face in the faint glow of the room, and his silvery smile engulfs me fully. He wraps his fingers in the fabric of my shorts and pushes them over the swell of my hips and down my legs, dragging the thin material of my panties shortly after. I unzip his pants, and they fall to the floor before he steps out of them and kicks the material to the side. Finally bare before him, and he before me, I slide across his bed to the middle and watch him. He moves slowly to the edge and crawls onto it with his knees, a predator marking his prey. He moves between my legs then and kisses up my body, lathering my heated flesh with his moistened lips and tongue. He lays me down gently, my hair fanning out around me, as he gingerly peppers kisses up my neck to my ear before he sucks the lobe into his mouth. I writhe against him, moans smothered by my gritted teeth. Halting his movements, he lays his forehead against mine and just breathes. Opening his lids, he gulps as his sapphire gaze pierces right through me.

Whispering against my lips, he softly pleads, "Bella, I can't do _this_ if you're going to keep fighting me. It hurts far too much and I... _care_ about you too deeply."

I swallow and try to keep my tears from escaping me. I run the pad of my thumb over his bottom lip and he closes his eyes, his breathing labored, before he opens them again. I murmur quietly, "I'm tired of running, Emmett." And I am.

My answer seems to placate him because he enters me quickly and smoothly. Unlike the other times we had sex, this time is slower, but still contains all the fiery vehemence from our previous encounters. It's amazing how he makes my skin catch fire and chill simultaneously; how every time he kisses me or moves inside of me, it feels like a whole new experience. I'm left breathless and gasping for air when I come down from the high of my orgasm, yet I have never felt more alive than I do in this moment.

He wraps his body around mine and brushes my hair away from my neck to leave a trail of kisses over my shoulder. This time, I fall asleep while he holds me, feeling more complete than I've felt in months.

I yawn, my eyes fluttering open, and I'm unbelievably warm and comfortable. I haven't slept so soundly in over a month and I feel incredible. A grin pulls at my lips as I lay wrapped up in the strong embrace of Emmett, taking in his shallow breathing while I listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart; my own cracks wide open in my chest. An overwhelming state of peace and security envelopes me and I can't help but feel ecstatic, my toes curling with absolute giddiness. I raise my head marginally from its perch on his taut chest, smiling contently as I observe the dimple in his cheek as he chuckles lightly in his sleep. Suddenly, something clicks for me.

I remember how a few short months ago I sat along the banks of Pleasant Lake with my father while he recited wisdom he learned throughout his years with my mom. His words echoing back to me, "But then, when you finally meet that one special person, as your mother is to me, who makes you feel a little more complete than anyone else you've ever been with, you ask yourself if you can see a life with that person." What if I had misunderstood his message or construed the meaning behind his words to find reason to stay with Edward?

Edward is someone I care about, truly. Although, now I have to wonder if I wasn't simply infatuated with him all along. I wasn't naive or stupid, and I knew I wasn't going to find the love of my life in high school, but plenty of people find their mates in college. There was definitely an immediate draw to Edward, the type of person and relationship he represented. He was _that_ oddity, the unattainable perfection that every girl longed for- romantic, gorgeous, intelligent, successful- but seldom few ever captured. And luckily... or perhaps a bit unluckily, I had caught his eye. Although I was never one for accepting gifts, I was completely taken aback when Edward constantly showered me with them and his affection. He did it because he cared about me and my feelings. He wanted to make me happy. He didn't do like the other jerks who used material things to get into my pants. So then I fell in love, or perhaps fell in love with the idea of our relationship because it felt nice to be wanted just for me.

But things happened with Emmett, and now I realize that he is everything _I_ want. He is simple. He is air, and happiness, and life. Perhaps Emmett and I approached a relationship differently. Even though I've always had this inexplicable draw to him, we formed a frienship that later gave way to a stronger, deeper connection. Even more, I'm capable of being myself when I'm with him. I don't feel like I have to maintain a certain facade because he grew up similarly to me instead of the wealthier lifestyle Edward and Rose are accustomed to living. Emmett makes me laugh, he knows the real me, not the person Edward knows, the one that appears to adore everything he does because I want him to feel how special he is to me. With Emmett I don't have to put on an act, my feelings are real and we don't have to pretend with one another.

Holy Motherfucker.

I'm totally in love with Emmett.

I look at him again and my heart jumps into my throat and my nerves attack my stomach, making me feel bubbly. I'm outrageously and undeniably in love with Emmett McCarty.

Sliding out of his embrace, I stand up beside the bed where I tremble, the early morning air causing goosebumps to pebble on my flesh. I pick up his dress shirt from the floor and drape it around my shoulders, tucking my arms across my chest to fasten the material to my body. I tiptoe across the room and take a seat at his desk beside the window. Pushing the curtains back, I stare outside at the morning sun and things seem clearer, my thoughts quiet now because of my newfound knowledge. As I watch two birds play in a lower branch, I realize maybe all this time I had just been utterly confused by my feelings. Maybe what I thought was true love for Edward wasn't quite that, and since I didn't feel the same way about him that I do about Emmett, I wasn't able to put a true name to the emotions I felt for Emmett. I was so stubborn to hold on to Edward, feeling lucky because he loved me when he could have had anyone he wanted, and totally disregarded what I felt for Emmett. I know I will always love Edward, but maybe the idea of first love overshadowed my idea of what love _really _was all along. Yes, first loves work out occasionally, but logically, how many times do people find the person they are meant to last a lifetime with on their first go around? Like I said, _sometimes_ it happens, but my name is Bella Swan, and that type of luck has never found me.

My body tenses when I hear the bed creak and the sheets rustling, panic coursing through my veins as I wonder if Emmett would be able to sense my epiphany and the feelings I'm finally able to admit to myself that I have for him. How does he feel about me? When he said that he _cared_ about me last night, was that him telling me in his own way that he loved me, too. I try not to let my head get ahead of me and finally glance over at him when he groans. He's stretching his arms high above his head, his biceps and shoulders flexing and his bones popping as he turns to look at me, a huge smile spreading across his face.

"Mmm, morning. You know," he says, waving his hand up and down at me before continuing, "I could get used to that look on you. You look sexy in my shirt."

I can't fight the blush that creeps across my cheeks at his blatant compliment. It thrills me to know that he finds me attractive.

He throws the covers back and rubs his hand across the empty spot beside him. "This bed sure does feel lonely without you, come lay with me," he says huskily while winking at me, his eyes sparkling in the light of the room.

All my anxiety floats away as I look at him, arms spread wide and waiting for me. I rise out of the chair quickly and practically skip across the room, my bare feet padding across the cold, wood floor. I hop in the bed and scoot up close to his body, relishing in his warmth and this light-as-air feeling he exudes. I feel weightless and happy. Yep, I'm definitely in love.

Just as I had promised I would, I call Edward. He's on his break in between conference calls, making the time we have to speak limited, which is fine by me. I try to keep the conversation light, but my mind keeps thinking about a time in the near future when I'm going to have to hurt him. I don't know what intentions Emmett has with Rosalie, but I know I can't keep holding onto Edward, it's just unfair. He deserves to find love with someone that can give it back to him equally, and that will never be me. I think I'll need time alone anyway. As much as I know with every fiber of my being that I love Emmett, I also don't want to jump from one relationship directly into another. I won't really date, but I think I need to experience life for a while on my own before I settle down with someone else. I need to travel, develop friendships outside of my relationships, and just live for me.

Emmett and I rarely leave the bedroom the entire weekend. We cuddle and watch movies, shower together, cook and clean side by side, never really leaving each other's sight. My dad is right, and I've never felt more complete than I do when I'm with him. I can't believe I've caused myself so much distress over these past few months. True to my nature, I have been stubborn and didn't want to concede or give up hope on my relationship with Edward, determined to make it work. I can be relentless when I want to be, but now I realize that even though I was trying to make everyone happy, even myself, I was only hurting us more. Feeling enlightened, I can breathe a little easier.

On Sunday morning, I notice Emmett is moping around the house, his strut is not as buoyant and his laugh isn't as carefree. I wiggle into his arms and tickle his side, asking, "What's the matter with you?"

He squeezes me tight and places a kiss on the tip of my nose. "They're coming home today. You're going to change," he responds sadly.

I sigh and push my hair out of my eyes, taking his jaw sternly between my palms and make him look at me. "Emmett, I told you, I'm not running anymore. I... _care_ about you, too."

With that, I close the distance between our lips, and make him believe in my actions what I can't say with words.

_I love you. I want you. You can't get rid of me even if you try... just give me time._

_

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_

**A/N: Thank you again for reading another chapter. I hope you know me well enough by now to know that just when you think it's over, I'm going to throw a wrench in their plans. *evil grin* Wonder what more I could possibly do to them...**

**All my love to the usuals, and special nuzzles to my wifey, Live720. Thanks for all your hard work, bb.**

**If you aren't reading her "Seventh Inning Stretch," you might want to. It really sets my body on fire, if you know what I mean. *saucy wink***

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


	19. Chapter 19: End or Beginning

***throws confetti* Happy 1 Year Anniversary, Readers! Yep, exactly one year ago today, I started on this little endeavor with a few of you. Thanks to all you lovely people that have stuck around and fought the good fight with me. Welcome to my new readers, I'm so delighted to have you. For those that continue to read, review, alert, and fave, I'm still humbled by your support. **

**Also, I need to send out a _BIG_ thank you to all those that voted for Voyeuristic Rendezvous in the Me & Mr. McCarty contest. I won 1st place in the all-human category public vote and my pretty banner can be found in my profile. I was ecstatic to place at all, but first... just WOW! Thank you. I'd also like to say that the continuation of that one-shot will be my next project for all of those who asked. It means a great deal to me that you wanted to read more, and hopefully I can deliver it to its fullest potential.**

Musical Inspiration for this chapter is "The Truth" by Kris Allen. The polyvore outfits can be found in my profile.

_******_DISCLAIMER_**:** By now, I hope you know that everything that should be Stephenie Meyers is hers. She created the playing field, and I'm just having fun toying with her jocks. No copyright infringement intended. =)**_

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"**Chapter 19: End or Beginning"**

_**BPOV**_

Edward drives through the gates of the community and parks his Volvo alongside the curb in front of the rows and rows of luxurious townhouses known as Gables Town Lake. A petite Hispanic lady wearing a tailored business suit and a pair of stilettos- ones that I'd surely kill myself in, but make her legs look amazing- saunters over to meet us at the vehicle. The polished tag on the lapel of her jacket states that her name is Maria and she introduces herself as such, shaking mine and Edward's hands before ushering us toward a rather large condo. Walking inside, my skin cools instantly because of the air conditioner vent blasting a strong breeze above us, making my long hair fan away from my face and brush against my bare shoulders as the overwhelming smell of fresh paint makes my head spin. I try to focus on her words, but get distracted by her heels which are making clicking noises as she walks across the darkened hardwood floors and waves her hand around, explaining the square footage of the home and other equities that I'm not interested in knowing.

As we pass through the archway into the living area, I get lost in my own thoughts as she drones on about crown molding, marble floors, and vaulted ceilings while my eyes scan over the neutral-toned walls of the condo and the ornate furnishings. I silently question in my mind what Emmett's doing, if he's nervous about his big game tonight, and if he's happy that we're all finally going to attend one to see him coach? I catch Edward's torso in my periphery as he bobs his head and smiles animatedly, engrossed in everything Maria is saying as she guides us from the master bedroom back toward the living room and into the dining area across from the kitchen. I can't help but attempt to picture myself in this place, but no matter how much I try to place my person in this rather lavish residence and in Edward's arms, I just can't seem to conjure up the image. All I see is this this frivolous, superficial, overly-decorated home with it's stainless steel appliances, top-of-the-line marble counter tops, and its on-grounds pool. I wonder to myself how I, average and unglamorous Bella, would ever fit in with such a community; where's my niche?

Easily enough, I realize that I'd _never_ have one in a place like this. This isn't me, this isn't how I was raised. All these outlandish and unnecessary novelties are not something that I am or ever really want to be accustomed with. I yearn for comfort and ease, not anything flashy and to constantly be involved in a competition over who has the better set of china.

Simply put, I don't want to keep up with the Joneses, I just want Emmett.

Catching the toe of my sandal on the corner of the over-priced sofa on exhibit, Edward reaches down and wraps his arm around my waist. I offer him a small smile in return as he leans down to place a chaste kiss against my temple. The sensation doesn't quite affect me like it used to though, no butterflies or tingles, just an empty display of affection.

The agent turns around to look at me then, squinting her eyes before she glances back to Edward. She's probably wondering what he sees in me.

_I often used to wonder that myself. Now-a-days, I still don't have the answer, but I'm not beating myself up over it either. I don't have to be good enough for Edward anymore because I'm perfectly content with the person I am when I'm with Emmett, not that I'm exactly _with _Emmett. Yet, it proves that I can be happy with who I am with _someone _and that's all that really matters._

"So, one of the best things about Gables is our location. As I'm sure you know, we're seated right across the street from the beautiful Town Lake and Lion's Golf Course, and we're also surrounded by some of the best restaurants in the area," she explains as she plasters a fake smile on her face, making it glow with her deceptiveness. _Realtors, yuck. To her, we're nothing more than a dime in her pocket._

She just stands in front of us quietly with her hands resting on the smooth material of a wing-backed chair, and I presume that the tour is over. Edward places his arm around my shoulder securely, squeezing it lovingly as he responds, "Well, my Bella here really loves Town Lake." Then turning to me he continues, "And being next door to the golf course would give me the chance to hit the green with my dad more often."

I look at him astonishingly and openly gape for a mere second or two. _Is he saying we're taking this place? Does he have the deposit with him? Am I out of time?_ My mind is reeling as I look back and forth between him and Maria before I softly state, "Um... maybe we should discuss this more _at home,_ Edward. I think you're making a rather rash decision here. You said yourself that we shouldn't just rush into it and that we wouldn't settle."

Edward clears his throat and pivots toward the agent, smiling politely. "Is there any way that you could give us a moment to ourselves, please?"

She offers him a tight-lipped grin in return before answering, "Of course, take your time."

She looks pointedly at me, seemingly frustrated that I'm not jumping at the opportunity to dwell in such a "well established, upstanding community in Austin." _Her words, not mine. Stupid whore._

_Wow, someone must have the PMS dial turned to superbitch today, _I admonish myself wordlessly. I really need to reign in my chaotic emotions, especially once Edward and I are finally alone.

With his hand on the small of my back, he leads me to the balcony and fastens the door closed once we're standing outside. I prop myself against the pale brick of the building while Edward walks across the small concrete floor of the balcony and leans against the wrought-iron railing, running his fingertips on top of the ledge. He doesn't waste any time and jumps right in.

"Bella, I think we should take this place. It's perfectly located, within our budget, and we both know this house isn't going to stay available for very long," he affirms, glancing over to gage my reaction as he continuously rubs his hands atop the metal surface.

I stare past his head, gazing at the waterspout fountain in the middle of a small pond between the condos and the large fence. What purpose do they even serve? Seems like a huge waste of water to me. _Water conservation, anyone?_

Sighing heavily, I return my attention back to Edward. Earnestly waving my hand around to the different elements surrounding us, I answer, "I don't know. Doesn't it seem like it's a little... _much_ to you?"

Seemingly agitated, he blows a gust of air between his lips as he purses them and stares at me. I can see the aggravation in the set of his eyes and the way his shoulders are tensing. It causes me to gulp, ready for the onslaught of questioning that he's about to cast at me, his outbursts happening more frequently here lately.

He runs his right hand through the crazed bronze tresses adorning his head once, twice, and for a third time before he tugs gently at the ends, taking his frustrations out on the thick locks instead of me. His tongue swiftly glides along his bottom lip, his teeth dipping into the pink flesh, as he just glares at me.

Then suddenly he exhales roughly and it begins. "Bella, you're doing _that_ thing again. I swear, if I could just get inside your head, this shit would be a lot easier. Two weeks we've been searching for a place to live, and after ten apartments, we're no closer to moving out than we were the day I got back from Chicago. You've found something you didn't like about _every_ single home I've taken you to."

Unable to hold back my anger any longer, I snap, "And I thought you said we didn't have to rush? What's your hurry?"

His features soften instantly, a subtle, yet broken expression taking residence on his face. Softly, he asks, " I thought you wanted to do this with me?"

I cast my eyes down and away from him because he's right, and when I had said those words to him, I thought I did. I can feel my traitorous blush blaze under his scrutiny as I brush my sandal atop the concrete surface below me, the tip of my shoe following the swirled pattern imprinted in the floor. For over a week and a half, I've been on a quest for the opportunity to end things between us. However, much like the homes we've visited, I always found something wrong with the timing.

_I didn't want to tell him as soon as he arrived home, and the days following were filled with complications because of his job or mine. One day we even had guests show up unannounced, people that he worked with, wanting to work out the details on a contract that they had coming up. I didn't want to close this chapter in my life and break Edward's heart in front of people or as we lay in bed together at night, so I waited patiently. For those brief moments when we were granted a few peaceful minutes to ourselves, he would pull me close and tell me how happy he was for us to be starting our lives together. I'd swallow the lump in my throat along with my words, and play the part I was expected to in that situation as best I could. I would hug him back, but never once did I tell him I was thrilled too. Still, my gestures were encouragement enough. It pained me a little to let him entertain this fantasy that we'd be together at some distant point in the future living our lives as one. Yes, I realized the longer I prolonged the inevitable the more it would hurt he and I both, but I couldn't find the courage to say it in those instances. _Thinking_ and_ saying_ were so much easier than actually _doing_ when you realized you were about to trample all over someone's dream. I'd close my eyes and vow to myself that I'd tell him the next day, but then the next day always begot the next and here I am two weeks later, still loving him, yet not loving him enough. I also felt like he could sense it coming, like he could see our departure hurdling toward him and he was powerless to stop it, so he kept distracting me. He was biding time, and I knew it, but I let myself be redirected because I'm a coward. _

_What's stopping me now?_ I ask myself.

My eyes find his and I straighten my back and square my shoulders, mentally preparing myself for the inescapable heartache that I'm going to cause him. "Look, Edward, I think-" are the only words I get out before he interrupts me when he looks at his watch.

"Shit! We're going to have to tell her we'll call her back about it. It's already after five and if we don't leave now, there's no way we'll make it across town to get ready and make the drive back before kickoff," he announces in a rush.

Just like before, I finally find the backbone to soar on my own and he yanks the air from beneath me. I sigh exasperatedly and follow him indoors as he talks to Maria before we leave.

The whole drive back to the apartment, I stare out the passenger window as the heavy traffic and tall buildings zoom by in a blur before my eyes. I can't keep putting on this charade, the anxiety I'm dealing with over it is making me physically ill. I'll tell him before the weekend is over. I have to, but I won't let the future sour my mood for tonight.

* * *

I stand in front of the mirror and pull back my long and tangled waves, sweeping them to the side, and fastening them into a ponytail that pours over my shoulder. Dipping the brush into the white face paint, I draw an elegant "A" over the red & black circle painted on my face. Turning to the right, I check to make sure my paw print hasn't smeared on my cheek and mentally pat myself on the back for a job well done. I carefully pull my red tank top with the Austin High logo on it over my head and smooth it down over my khaki shorts. Picking up my pompoms, I appraise myself excitedly in the mirror, bouncing lightly on my toes as my outfit finally comes together.

At that moment, Edward walks out of the bathroom in his navy trousers and polo shirt, typing away furiously on his Blackberry before he looks up at me, a large grin enveloping his face.

"Well don't you look... peppy?" he questions while cocking his head to the side, a soft chuckle escaping between his lips.

My smile falls as I look down over my clothing once more before I shift my eyes worriedly back to his. "You don't think I overdid it, do you?"

He walks over to me and pulls me into a firm hug before he whispers in my ear, "No. You look great, and I'm almost tempted to keep you home and let you cheer for me."

I wiggle in his embrace and slap at his chest. Responding with I giggle, I say, "Quit, you're going to mess up my face. It took a long ass time to do these, and I don't have the patience or the time for a repeat."

Grabbing his keys off the dresser, he folds his hand around mine and we walk out in the hall together. I knock on Rose's bedroom door while Edward shouts, "Come on, Slowpoke, we're going to be late!"

Rose opens the door and I'm floored by her beauty like always. She's wearing a strapless turquoise dress that flows down to her ankles, making her appear like the Greek goddess she should have been. The color makes her honey eyes shine brilliantly and her skin glows against the gorgeous hue. She's made it more causal by pairing it with stone-embellished gladiator sandals and a strand of beads and crystals that dangle from her neck and drape gracefully along her torso. She ceases my gawking by throwing her head back and cackles, an obnoxious sound that only a few people have had the chance to hear. Usually, her laugh is more reserved, soft and musical.

"My God, Bella, you look like the AHS spirit squad vomited on you! It's cute though," she exclaims, and once more I'm feeling self-conscious over my choice of clothing.

Instead of over-analyzing the hell out of it like I normally would, I just raise my red and black pompoms in the air, shaking them lightly, and say, "Goooo Bulldogs. Oh, and by the way, you look stunning."

She secures her blond hair at the top of her head with her designer sunglasses and waves me off while smiling. "Oh, this old thing..." she trails off and winks at me, causing us both to snort.

I just roll my eyes at her and she bumps her shoulder with mine. "Come on, we better get moving. I want some decent seating," she instructs as we all start moving toward the door.

Once we get to Volvo, I insist that Rose sit up front because my legs are much shorter and I'll be perfectly fine with sitting in the back, much to Edward's chagrin. Rosalie accepts my offer and tells him to be a gentleman, that he can have me all to himself when she rides home with Emmett later. He agrees begrudgingly and I climb in the back while Rose comfortably seats herself beside him.

The drive across town goes by quickly as Edward and Rose chat enthusiastically and I stare out my window, my mind processing all that's happened and what's to come. I go over the conversation I'd like to have this weekend in my head and when I feel my reserve start to waver, I think about Emmett and how amazing he's been and my confidence returns.

_I kept my promise to him. I didn't run. There was no use in trying anyway, he occupied every thought in my brain whether he was near me or not. _

_I am lost to him._

The car stops and I exit the vehicle, a joyous smile playing across my lips as I turn my head from side, taking in all the various people and their exhilarated expressions over tonight's festivities. The parking lot is filled to capacity as couples- young and old, children circling around their parents' feet, and spectators of all ages head toward the stadium. It's Texas football at its best.

I breathe in deeply, letting the smell of the grilling pit by the concession stand waft in through my nose and it causes my stomach to rumble. Distant cheers, gleeful conversations, and marching band music echos in the air and a giddiness that I haven't experienced in a while inhabits my body. I feel light as a feather as I skip toward the admissions booth while Edward and Rosalie walk behind me, chuckling at my exuberance.

Entering the gates, I work hard to suppress a shriek when I see Emmett jogging across the field and waving to the crowd. However, his smile is infectious and I grin like a love-drunk idiot because it's unavoidable at this point. I drink him in, my eyes eagerly roaming over the red polo shirt that stretches across his broad chest and the black dress pants that hug his muscular legs. He's wearing a black visor that shields his eyes, but even from a distance, I know they're sparkling. He looks so authoritative, but the dimples that are wedged jovially in each cheek show his true cheerful disposition and my arms ache to hold him, to take in the rambunctious crowd and the electricity in the air by his side. He disappears across the field as he runs into the locker-room and the crowd starts chanting "AHS" repeatedly, a wave of anticipation sweeping through them all as the band starts playing the song that broadcasts the presence of the team.

Rose and I follow behind Edward, hurriedly climbing the mountain of stairs to find a place to sit when the announcer's voice comes across the sound box going over all the pre-game regulations and such.

Suddenly, the crowd is worked into a jumping frenzy as Emmett and the team storm the field, raising their helmets in the air and hyping up the fans. I stand, screaming and flailing my pompoms in the air, accidentally smacking Edward in the face with them, at which point he confiscates them for the evening by saying, "They aren't suppose to be used as a weapon, Sweetie."

I pout momentarily, but then the team lines up for kickoff and everything else disappears as I join in with the cheers of the people around me.

The game progresses quickly and the team is off to a great start. I squeal and yell when familiar names of some of the players I've met is shouted from the speakers. After halftime, the team is up by fourteen and I can't even talk, my throat raw and my voice hoarse from all my excessive screaming.

The crowd jumps to their feet again, and I'm bouncing up and down as the boy I met the time before, Jacob, hurdles himself toward the endzone and makes a dive for the goal line. The audience erupts into hoots and hollers as the russet-skinned teenager stands up doing his victory dance and the team huddles around him, joining in on his celebration.

Settling back down atop my metal seat, my eyes quickly scan the scoreboard which now reads twenty-eight to seven, Austin still in the lead with only eleven minutes in the fourth quarter to play. Being so immersed in everything that's happening on the field, I startle easily when Edward leans down and presses a kiss against the column of my neck. I turn my face to the side, leaning back slightly so that I can look into his eyes. Dilated pupils and irises of darkened jade collide with mine and he smiles. "It makes me happy to see you like this," he says softly, and it's almost hard to make out what he saying over the roar of the crowd. I tinge of pain radiates through my chest as the reality of breaking his heart tries to invade my mind, but I'm on too much of a natural high to focus on it now, so I just vigorously bob my head up and down. With utter elation coursing through my frame, I turn my focus back to the field.

I continue to watch enraptured as time winds down on the clock and eventually the buzzer sounds, signifying Emmett's team pulling off a solid victory as the entire sideline rushes the field to congratulate the team. Amongst the chaos, Emmett throws his visor off and gazes up toward the stands, his eyes searching. I immediately jump to my feet, throwing my hands in the air, and curse myself for losing my voice so early on. When his eyes lock with mine, he smiles brightly and he stops moving, the glow of the huge stadium lights bouncing off the sweat on his skin. The booming volume of the packed bleachers disappears as well as everyone around me and my heart leaps into my throat as I just stare at him. Timidly, I raise my hand and offer him a small wave as I bite my lip and look up at him through my lashes. He starts laughing and so do I, but all too soon he jerks his head back toward his team and I understand he's telling me he has to get back to them. I nod and watch as he jogs back across the grass. Twirling around, the grin vanishes from my lips the second I meet Edward and Rose's matching, wordless stares.

I gulp and tuck a wayward curl behind my ear and reach for my pompoms in hopes of distracting them. "Um, you guys ready to get going or what?" I question hesitantly with a meek smile, the roughness of my voice making me cringe. I glance nervously at them, but I'm only met with silence.

They share a quiet exchange, knowing looks transpiring between them, and I begin to tremble worriedly. Without waiting on a response, I start heading down the steps, trying to navigate through the bystanders, and walk briskly toward the fieldhouse. We told Emmett we'd meet him there after the game and I'm in a mad dash to get to him, hoping his carefree persona will ease some of the tension present in the air. I don't have to turn around to know that they're following me, I can feel their glares burning a hole through the back of my head.

Groups of people are convened around the locker room, each fan, parent, and friend awaiting their chance to applaud the guys for such an outstanding performance on the field. Everyone is meandering around, catching up with old acquaintances and meeting new ones. Edward is talking with a few of his buddies he works with as I stand silently beside him, picking up on bits of the conversation but it's not really registering in my brain. Applause rings out in the cooling night air as the team finally departs from the building, and I stand on my toes to see if I can find one person in particular. _Sapphire, muscles, red shirt... where are you?_

Eventually he walks out, his arm slung haphazardly over Paul's shoulder as he laughs, the sound of it floating over to me and making my stomach flip. He jerks his head up, almost like he can feel my eyes on him, and we connect. He drops his arm and starts moving through the river of bodies, gliding in and out of them, but a few stop him for a chat. He shakes hands graciously and offers simple conversation, yet he rarely takes his eyes off of me and my skin feels like it's on fire.

Just as he nears me, a haze of blue and blond interrupts the flow of energy as Rose jumps into his arms, hugging him tightly and placing kisses all over his face. His brows furrow together as he looks from her to me and I shrug, both of us slightly confused about her sudden need for PDA. He gently sits her on her feet and sneaks another glace at me, an unreadable expression twisting his face before he's able to hide it behind a mask of calm.

Edward places his hand on my lower back and guides me along the narrowed path until we're directly in front of them. We stop short as my gaze darts from Edward to Rose and Emmett and back to Edward. This is the epitome of awkward silences, so much needing to be said but no one brave enough to take the plunge and open their mouths.

Rolling my eyes, I open my mouth just to blurt something random because I'm tired of the silence, when the three boys I'd met before stride up to our little group.

Jacob smiles and enthusiastically states, "Miss Bella, you finally decided to grace us with your presence again. Team Spirit, I like it!"

I make a grand gesture of curtsying before I laugh. "Too much, huh?"

Jared thrashes into him, pulling him down into a headlock and grinds his head roughly with his fist while Jacob wrestles to break free of his restraints.

Paul rolls his eyes and says, "Jake probably loves it. He hasn't shut up about you ever since you visited us that one day. All we hear anymore is _Miss Bella this, Miss Bella that._ It can get quite nauseating after the billionth time."

My eyes dart over to Jake and his face is flushed, much like mine I'm sure. Trying to ease his embarrassment, I offer, "Well, I'm flattered. Really."

Rosalie, not one to ever be shown up, takes the opportunity to step forward, reaching out with her hand. "Hi, I'm Rosalie. I'm Emmett's girlfriend. I wasn't aware that you all have had the chance to become previously acquainted."

Her voice sounds slightly clipped as her scowling eyes slide angrily to the side to find mine, and all the blood drains from my face reflexively. Edward introduces himself also, but it doesn't detract from the thickness permeating the air. The boys try to avert their eyes and begin shuffling their feet, making me feel exponentially worse for their introduction to the mindfuck that is my daily life now. I can't imagine how uncomfortable I'd be if our roles were reversed.

I swallow quickly and wet my lips and hope to negate the anxiety level by changing topics. "So, you guys put on quite the show tonight. I'm sure Emmett is really proud."

All our attention shifts to Emmett then, waiting to hear his praise and he looks stoic as his eyes study his young prodigies. Unwavering, he states, "They were okay, I thought they could have done better though." Then he cracks a smile and winks at me, and everyone starts laughing. The players all slug him in the arm jokingly, similar chastisements spouting from their mouths as they mockingly hound their coach. After a short period of time and endless boasting from the cocky teenagers, a gathering of girls call over to the players and they run off to enjoy their youth and join the night of liveliness held in their honor and their feat.

We watch as they interact briefly before Rose draws the focus back to her by clapping her hands together loudly. "So...who's up for a movie night?" she questions while searching each of our faces.

* * *

I sit in the floor, huffing and tossing the handful of DVD cases to the floor, while blowing my bangs out of my eyes for the hundredth time. It's times like this that I hate they we're all such big movie buffs because hunting for a particular movie is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Deciding on _The Hangover_, I was assigned to the task of locating the movie while Emmett made a huge pot of kettle corn. Rose and Edward are sitting on the couch, waiting patiently, and my frustration is building because I can't find the damn movie.

Taking a deep breath, I turn my head and holler gravelly toward the kitchen, "Hey, Em, any clue where the hell you might have put it? I can't find it in here."

I watch as he steps away from the stove and his eyebrows pull together as he tries to remember. "Oh shit," he pauses, "yeah, it's in the top of my closet. I forgot I watched it in the room last week."

I groan and stand, shooting him a death glare because I'm a little upset that I've been straining my eyes this whole time when he's known where's it's been all along.

I jog down the hall and peek in his room, blindly searching for the light switch and flipping it on. I move to his closet and stand on my tiptoes, reaching and feeling around with my fingertips hoping to catch the edge of the case. My finger finally grips the squared corner and I pull it down, a small black box falling with it. The moment the little, velvet container bounces off the hardwood floor, everything falls still and time slows down dramatically.

With trembling fingers, I lay the movie on their bed and bend my knees slightly down to the floor, intent on retrieving my discovery. My eyes instantly prickle with tears and my chest feels heavy, my throat tight as I desperately try to pull the necessary oxygen into my lungs. I keep telling myself that I'm overacting, that it can't possibly be what I think it is because Emmett wouldn't hide something as monumental as this from me. If he was planning to propose to Rose, he'd tell me. _Wouldn't he?_

With my entire body trembling now, I flip open the case and instantly gasp as my eyes take in the huge engagement ring with the sapphire center. It's gorgeous and perfectly suits Rose. With my other hand, I cover my mouth as my quaking knees give out and I fall to the floor, the ring cradled delicately in my hand. I sit and stare, my heart aching with every thunderous beat in my chest, my ears ringing, as I start drowning in my tears. I know I don't have a stake on him, he was never mine, but some part of me would have liked to believe that we could have been together eventually..._he_ let me believe that we could be together eventually. _Oh God, had I gotten myself stuck inside a fantasy of my own? _The bile swirls in my stomach and races its way up my throat, burning my esophagus as I swallow it back down, a gentle sob escaping me. My ribs feel like they're cracking open and I'm dizzy, the room spinning as my life begins to spiral out of control.

_"Bella, I can't do this if you're going to keep fighting me. It hurts far too much and I... care about you too deeply."_

Why would he have whispered those words against my skin before he made love to me, pleading with me to stay with him, if he was only planning on throwing _me _away? This ring, not meant for me, didn't show that _he cared about me too deeply. _Feeling hurt and confused, my mind tries to process what all of it means. For them. For us. _For me. _

A jostling at the door catches me off guard, and I startle before slowly raising my eyes to meet Emmett, who's standing rigidly in the doorway, gripping the frame. Even through my blurred vision, my view obstructed by the surging moisture in my eyes, I can tell he looks distraught. His chest is heaving up and down at a rapid rate as he quickly scans my face and my position on the floor. He's by my side in an instant, trying to pull me in his arms and murmuring over and over against my throat, "It's not what you think, I promise, it's not what you think."

I push out of his embrace, the nausea trying to surface again as I shake my head quickly from left to right. I don't want to listen to him, I don't want to try to understand.

"Bella, please," he begs, a tear sliding down his face as he reaches for me again but I push his hands away.

"No, Emmett, it's okay. I understand," I choke out, trying to sound sincere even though I've never been more disconcerted or non-understanding in my life. I didn't want his apologies. Even though every nerve in my body is crying out to be comforted by him, I slide across the floor to get further away.

I lift my head and brush my hand against my tear-stained cheeks, brushing the lingering wetness away as I whisper, "I didn't expect to be able to keep you."

He crawls forward, pleading again, "Please, if you'll just let me explain."

Edward's voice rings out, "Hey you two, what's taking so long finding the-" and he stops abruptly in the door.

My watery gaze shoots to meet his, but I can only see the shadowy outline of his lean form, dark colors and hair swirling with pale skin. He looks from me to Emmett and finally he notices the small treasure I'm holding in my hands. I can see his mind working, connecting all the puzzle pieces together while he just stands there, his face haunted with the reality of why I look like my heart's been ripped in two. Without a conscious effort, I snap the box closed and set it down gently next to Emmett.

Hurriedly, I stand up and move across the room until I'm in front of Edward. He deliberately takes my hand and pulls me into his side, and I let him because I just want someone to hold me, someone to take away the burning in my chest and to wipe away my tears no matter how selfish of me it is. Without turning back, I let him lead me to our room and I flop down on the bed, patting the space beside me for him to sit. He doesn't look at me, but rather falls to the floor, kneeling in front of me as he lays his cheek against my thigh. I'm caught slightly off guard as he wraps his arms around my legs, his biceps squeezing the sides of my legs while his forearms flex against the skin at my calves. The longer we sit there in silence, the harder he embraces me, almost like he's trying to weld our bodies together, and it's starting to hurt.

I brush his hair away from his face, finding that his eyes are screwed shut

and his lips are set in a deep frown. I gently glide the pad of my thumb over his closed lids, and he relaxes marginally, releasing a slow breath that blows gently against my heated flesh.

"Edward, look at me," I coach, running my fingers through his hair.

"You love him, don't you?" he whispers, his tone etched with so much desperation and anguish that it causes my heart to crumble.

Completely stunned by his boldness, I sit flabbergasted, my words hinged in my throat. This is the moment I've been waiting for, the perfect timing for me to lay all of my cards out on the table, but I'm so overwhelmed and my throat is thick with masking the sobs I'm struggling to hold back.

I keep trying to pose the best way to lament my statement, wrestling to find the easiest words, but I keep coming up short. _What's the most appropriate way to tell someone you don't love them anymore?_

He clutches my bare legs again, crushing them to his chest as he whispers, his voice so soft I have to lean down to hear it. "Just say it, I know you do. Don't sugarcoat it, Bella. Just... _say it. _I need to hear from you- from your mouth- so that I'll _know_." I didn't think that it was possible, but the tenor in his voice sounds excruciatingly worse.

Gulping, I nod, immediately feeling stupid because his eyes are still closed and he can't see me. My fingers, still threading through his hair, start to shake with the acknowledgement that I'm going to have to say the words out loud.

"I do. I'm so sorry," I say, my voice trembling as I seemingly wait ages for his reaction, expecting to see the anger he's showcased recently. However, what I find instead makes my stomach twist, knocking the breath right out of me.

A lone tear falls from the corner of his eye and cascades over his nose, dripping onto my shorts. Without opening his eyes, he brokenly states, "I wanted to give you everything. I would have. Anything in this world that would have made you happy, I would have risked it all to give you anything you wanted."

Without realizing it, my cheeks grow damp and my lip is trembling as he continues, "I didn't know that giving you the world... giving you _him_... was going to take everything that mattered to me away. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that."

"Edward," I interrupt, "I didn't want or expect it to end like this."

He blows out a single breath and opens his eyes, they are swimming with tears and a sorrow so deep I want to take away all his misery, but this time I know I can't. "That's the difference between us. You didn't want it to end like _this_... and I just didn't want it to _end_. I've known for so long how much you cared about him, I could see you developing feelings for him, but I was just in denial. I made a pact with myself to fight for you, to do everything I could to let you know that I was here and still loved you. Knowing that I never gave in makes this a little easier, I guess, but I can't love someone that can't love me. I tried to hold on to the image in my brain of us being together forever, growing old... being like Mom and Dad... it seems pointless now."

I quickly brush the tears away from my cheeks and pull the sides of his face between my palms. "Don't say that, Edward. It's not pointless. It's never pointless. You'll find someone for you, someone that will be able to love you like I should have. I'm so sorry... I just, I don't know what else to say. It may be selfish of me, but I need to know that you won't stop looking. I need to know that you'll find someone that will try to give _you_ the world to make _you_ happy. Please," I beg, looking at him and trying to find conviction in his emerald eyes.

"The ring isn't for Rose," he says abruptly.

_What? What ring isn't for Rose?_

He reaches up and cups my hand in his, his fingers gently stroking my ring finger. "It was yours. I asked Emmett to hold onto it for me," he clarifies, letting out an extended sigh. "It was yours," he repeats, only this time it's nearly a whisper.

Again, I'm stunned by this revelation. Now I understand what Emmett was trying to explain, and yet I was mean to him. I pushed him away because I was too hurt to try to listen. Then, Edward's confirmation comes full circle and I realize that he was going to propose. The ring had been _mine._

I open my mouth to apologize again, but he rests his finger against my lips, effectively silencing me. "You don't have to say anything. I'll be fine, but I... just didn't want you to be upset with him."

Moving away from me and standing up, he leans down and brushes his lips across my forehead. My eyes close on their own as I revel momentarily with his lips on my skin for the last time. He breathes deeply, his forehead resting against mine, before stating softly, "I love you, Bella. I've _always_ loved you."

When I open my eyes, the door to leading to the hall is ajar, his scent a ghostly secret left imprinted on my skin. _He's gone._

I rise on wobbly legs and shuffle across the floor, my exposed feet registering every nook and cranny notched in the hardwood surface. With my hand clutching the metal handle, I wince as I hear the front door slam. Lazily, I close the door to our room until the lock clicks.

I don't even remember making the trek back to the bed, but the satin sheets soothe away the aching in my body as the mattress molds to my frame. Even though I have the entire bed to myself, I curl into a ball on my usual side and allow myself to wallow in my emotions.

An unfamiliar hollowness works its way into the core of my chest while a sense of agony resonates in every cell in my torso. However, as the endless tears travel along the slopes of my cheeks and saturate my pillow case, I find relief in the fact that I have finally done the right thing. I have given Edward the chance to be fully loved by someone with the magnitude in which he loved so fiercely. In doing so, I have also given myself the freedom to do the same. Whether this is the end or the beginning, I don't really know, but I'm curious to find out what life has in store for me now.

Picking up my phone, I dial Angela's number and wait for her to answer.

"Hello," her cheerful voice greets.

"Hey, Ang, I need a favor," I request, massaging my throat because it's still hoarse from all the waterworks and the cheering from the game.

* * *

I spend the remainder of the night,stuffing my clothes and trinkets into garbage bags. I grasp onto picture frames, tucking away the memories as I watch them stretch the dark plastic of the bags. I hug my knees when I hear Rose and Emmett leave the house for work and try to wonder where they'll go from here. I hope that Rose will be a good friend to Edward now that I'm not there to help him pick up the pieces.

Soon after, I call Alice. Her and Jasper come over and we load all our vehicles to transport all my shit across town to Angela's apartment, my temporary residence until I can figure out what I'm going to do now.

Angela hugs me closely, as does Alice, before they leave to go to the bookstore. They each tell me that everything is going to be okay and that they'll help me get through this. I'm proud that I've found a friend in them; it does make this transitional period a little less rough.

When her house falls quiet, I reach for my phone and type a quick message. Running my thumb over the smooth glass of the display screen, I hope he can get the meaning behind my words.

**I'm still not running.**

**~B**

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* * *

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**A/N: **Well, there you have it! One more chapter and then the epilogue and our journey will be complete.

Thanks to the usual peeps and a special squeeze to the hostess with the mostest, my confidant and beta, **Live720_. _**If you aren't reading her fics, well... you _SHOULD_ be!

Smooches,

Christina


	20. Chapter 20: You Came to Me

**Thanks for all those that are still around, continuing to read, review, alert, and favorite. I'm so completely blown away by you. For those newcomers, I'm so proud to have you aboard. (You guys aren't even reading this are you? I'm naked, I'm naked, I'm naked. teehee)**

**Music Inspiration: **** "I Never Told You" by ********Colbie Caillat **

**************Polyvore is my profile.**

****Disclaimer:** _Anything that should belong to Stephenie Meyer is hers, I own nada. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

_**

"**Chapter 20: You Came to Me"**

_**BPOV**_

_In the first week of Edward's and Emmett's absence, I rarely leave the bed except for work. I cry until I have no more tears left to shed and my cheeks are permanently weathered by their stains. There's a void in my life that Alice and Angela desperately try to fill, but I'd rather be left alone to suffer. I clutch to my phone like it's the life-raft that will keep me afloat, anxiously waiting for the phone call that never comes. An abyss of despair washes over me and I sluggishly navigate through the darkness, searching for the one thing that can pull me towards the light. I live in a daily fog, existing but not really alive._

_Near the end of the second week, I'm able to get out of bed easier as the haze of misery begins to dissipate. I don't check my phone every three seconds to see if I've missed his call or worry myself with grief because he hasn't. I'm still merely surviving, but it's not quite as hard. The bookstore proves to be a good distraction and I offer to work overtime on occasion. Slowly, my appetite comes back to me, and the liveliness of my friends causes a small grin to appear on my face sporadically. They're the best support system a girl could hope for, and I feel fortunate to have them. I convince myself I can do this, mostly because I don't seem to have a choice._

_On the weekend of the third week, I fly to Phoenix to see my parents. I cling to my dad in the airport, letting his warm embrace surround me and I feel loved for just a little while, my heart full. Later in the evening, I'm laying my head in my mother's lap, my sobs drowning out the sound of the television until my heart crumbles, feeling as though it will never be repaired. I thought I had been doing better, but I was only kidding myself. My heart aches with knowledge that Edward's going through this same thing, but intensifies further because the hollow in my chest isn't over him. Renee tries to assure me that everything will be okay in the end. "Good things happen to good people, honey. Just you wait and see. The person you are meant for will come to you," she whispers while running her fingers endlessly through my hair. I try to take comfort in her words, and wish on a shooting star that night as I stare out into the blackened skies. "Please," I beg softly, "Don't make me hurt anymore." I shouldn't be asking for a reprieve, though. I deserve to feel this way._

_It's on a Wednesday in the fourth week when Alice marches into my room at Angela's apartment and throws open the curtains, pulling up the blinds, the warm Austin sun shining brilliantly throughout my previously dark room. I groan and pull the covers over my head, whining and begging her to let me wallow. She refutes by flopping down on the bed and begins tickling me until I give her my undivided attention. Her hands fly animatedly around her head as she shouts her speech about "Carpe diem" bullshit and makes me laugh loudly for the first time in over a month. Hope. I finally have hope that I'll be able to pull myself out of this funk. _

_In the next week, I search for a place of my own and grow ecstatic when I hand over the deposit for my studio apartment, getting the keys for it in return. It's nothing outlandish, just a quaint little one bedroom, one bath residence with barely a living room or kitchen to speak of, but when I add a few of my belongings and drape the curtains over the window panels, it feels like home. I spend hours decorating and lounging on my couch that my parents bought me as a house-warming gift, reflecting over the weeks that have passed and suddenly realize that I can be alone, and possibly be... happy._

_Over the next month, I set out to do what I said that I would on the morning I realized I was in love with Emmett McCarty. I start living for myself. The leaves are turning from dark green to the vibrant oranges and yellows accustomed with the changing weather. The Autumn air breezes through the streets and I get swept away in it, breathing it deeply into my body and allowing it to soothe away the worry of time. My mind drifts to Emmett, and sometimes even to Edward, wondering what they're doing and if they're okay? Reluctantly, I gave up on the notion of Emmett and I over a week ago. Too much time has passed and I hope he and Rose are thriving in their life together. There's still a pang of heartache lingering, but that's inevitable. Regardless, I just wish them well. _

_I travel with Jasper and Alice on my weekends off. They're nature enthusiasts, exploring different parts of Texas that were still left undiscovered by me. On one particular weekend, we venture south of Austin into Texas Hill Country. As we drive along the long stretches of highway that weaves in and out of limestone and granite hillsides, my eyes quickly scan over the lightly colored boulders carved and divided by the asphalt. It's oddly beautiful. We arrive at Pedernales Falls State Park and grab the small packs that contain our water and grid maps, tossing them on our backs. We set out on the hiking path, coming across different types of wildlife that seem unaffected by the tourists, continuing to graze the hill in search of food. The atmosphere is fresh, saturated with the smell of turning soil and falling leaves. The temperature is __perfect__, the chill of the air a __suitable __contrast to the heat of my body and the burn in my muscles as we climb higher and higher. Even though my agility has improved over time, I periodically lose my footing on a loose stone and fall forward. I can almost conjure up the image of a strong, calloused hand reaching down and engulfing mine, pulling me back up and righting my place in the world. The thought is fleeting though as I shake it off and continue on my trek. Eyes ahead, always moving forward, no looking back. Every now and again, I'll catch Jasper and Alice hugging or kissing, the intimacy of their connection bittersweet. Journeying across the countryside and feeling free in nature, reveling in its beauty at its purest form, wasn't quite as breathtaking when you didn't have someone to share it with. Finally, we reach the top of the large stoned mountain that overlooks the most translucent turquoise water I've ever seen; it's unreal, majestic. As I stare down into the water, crystal clear to the very bottom and seemingly untouched by time or dirtied by contaminants, I feel the phantom embrace of familiar arms snake around my body. I shiver involuntarily and pull my arms around my midriff, hugging myself tightly as I try to slow my stammering heart and close my eyes. A strong breeze blows in from the right through the large trees, pushing my hair wildly around my face, and if I listen carefully, I can hear him whispering against my skin. I can picture him here, his eyes shining more brightly than the water below, and we fit. He would have appreciated this place. I still miss him._

The current date is November 11th, and it's been an entire two months since I walked out of my old apartment and out of Edward and Emmett's lives. The weather is blistering outside, an unusual cold front for this time of year is moving through the deep south, and I'm huddled in my living room next to the old furnace. Sitting on my couch, hunched beneath a dozen blankets, I'm deeply engrossed in a riveting new series when a knock sounds at the door. My brows furrow together, wondering who would be there. I had just gotten off the phone with Angela who said she and Alice were bored out of their minds, the store dead with most everyone staying indoors today, so there's no way it could be either of them. Getting up and stretching, I hope like hell it isn't a salesperson.

Shuffling toward the door, I unlock it and pull it open, stifling a gasp when I see the statuesque blond on the other side.

"Rose?" I question weakly, my voice barely audible to my own ears. My mind can't seem to comprehend that she's actually here, in front of my home.

She tugs her trench-coat closer to her body while tapping the heel of her shoe and answers, "Yes. Now, Jesus, aren't you going to invite me in? My nipples could cut through glass in this fucking air."

I shiver then, my thin shirt doing nothing to warm my body against the freezing temperatures, and instantly remember my manners. "Oh yes, please come inside."

I step to the side and she brushes past me, unbuttoning her coat and unwrapping her designer scarf away from her neck as she saunters into my living room. She lets her eyes wander over the various surfaces before she turns back to me. "Nice," she says, waving her free hand around before placing her scarf on my coffee table.

I smile and explain, "Well, it's not much by many people's standards, but it's enough for me," before adding, "It's home."

I plop down on my couch and move my bedding aside, motioning for her to sit as well. I pick up my hot chocolate from the table and take a sip before asking, "Just coming from work?" I don't know really where to start and I'm curious about her reason for being here. I'm slightly nervous, so this seems like the best place to start.

She smooths her hands down the front of her black trouser pants before taking the seat next to me and replies, "Um, yeah. They let us go early today because we're supposed to be getting a few flurries this afternoon." She stops abruptly, her eyes continuing to scan around my home, and I begin to fidget with the coffee cup, running my chilled hands over the heated, smooth surface.

"I remember hearing something about that on the weather this morning," I respond, my eyes lifting to watch her. "So... how have you, uh... been?" I question, hating the way my voice falters at the end.

Her eyes shoot to mine, her gaze hardening slightly as she searches my face. "I've been better."

"Oh... well, how is-" I start, but my words are quickly masked by hers.

"Do you mind if we just cut the bullshit?" she interrupts and I gulp forcefully.

"S-sure, okay. We can cut the... _bullshit_," I reply as I place my cup down on the table.

"I'm leaving Emmett," she says, her conviction harsh and unwavering.

My eyes immediately go wide and I can feel my jaw drop. That was the last thing I ever expected her to say. I expected for her to march in here, rip me to shreds for fucking her man and breaking her best friend's heart, but this... I didn't see coming at all. I'm completely flabbergasted and I flounder, searching for _anything _to say to fill the silence.

"Rose, I... I don't even-" I stutter, my eyes instantly falling to my lap as I snap my mouth closed.

"You don't have to say anything. I just need you to listen, no interruptions," she demands, and I slowly nod my compliance.

"Edward didn't come to work the day after you two broke up. I left the office early because I was worried about him, you know how he never misses work? I went-" she pauses to clear her throat, her voice softening as she continues, "I went to check on him... and he was so _broken_. I found him in his old bedroom at his parent's house bowed over in the corner next to his dresser with an empty whiskey bottle next to him. He smelled and looked like shit, drunk out of his mind and so _alone_. He just kept mumbling about how he fucked everything up and how his life was over, and it was so hard to hear through his slurring and his crying."

She stops and looks up at me, her eyes filling with tears as she recalls the memory. I'm crying because _I_ did this to him. I know I hurt him, but thinking it and actually knowing the extent of the damage I caused are completely different. He was never one to drink, an the image of an empty whiskey bottle makes my stomach churn.

Leaning her head back, she sniffles and bats away the moisture trying to slide down her face. "I didn't want to end up like him. I didn't want to be left lonely and crushed, drinking myself into a stupor in a corner in my old bedroom at my parent's house like a pathetic, love-sick idiot whose heart had just been trampled on. I _refuse_ to be that person.

"Emmett came home and I was already there. Do you know he ran straight past me, didn't even see me sitting in the living room, and flew around the house bellowing out your name as he rushed from room to room?"

She lets her watery, butterscotch eyes dart to mine, and even though I know the question is rhetorical because there's no way I could have known, I still shake my head no in response.

"It was obvious to me when he noticed all your stuff was gone because he was dashing toward the door, his keys jingling in his hands in tempo with his stride. He was going to go after you and I was going to be left with no one. I panicked. I called out to him and he whirled around, startled by my presence. I told him that he needed to give you space, that you had just been through a really bad break-up and that you'd need some time to yourself. God, I know it was selfish, but _I_ needed him, and I hated that he couldn't see that. I hated _you_ for making him blind.

"He said that he was going to take a quick shower and that we needed to talk when he got out. I knew what was coming, and I couldn't stand the thought of him walking out on me. Images of Edward in his room from earlier that day kept running through my mind, and I knew that even if it took me getting down on my hands and knees begging him to stay, that I was going to do it. I don't grovel, ever, but I was willing to go the lengths for him.

"While he was in the bathroom, his phone started vibrating and chirping from the kitchen counter. The longer it went unanswered, the louder the noise seemed to get. It was like I was trapped in some place and time, where nothing else existed except for that damn cell, and the fucking ringtone just kept echoing in my head. I finally jumped up and ran to the kitchen, snatching it off the island. I've never, and I mean _never_, gone through his his phone, but I did. I saw your text message and I was so furious at you. He was mine first and you... you were going to steal him right out from under me. I couldn't let you."

She lets her head roll forward again, her breath whooshing out of her in a rush while pity and shame warps her gorgeous features. A single tear glides down her cheek and I'm taken aback by her emotional outpouring. To others, one tear wouldn't mean much, but for someone like Rose who bottles up everything, always keeping this empowered persona about her, it truly shows the amount of anguish that she's handling at the moment. All of her defenses are down, and this is the girl that no one gets to see.

"I deleted the message. I guilt-tripped him in to staying with me and he was none-the-wiser that you wanted anything to do with him. He stayed with me because I was an obligation," she says, dropping her face into her hands and her body crumples before me. My hand shakes with the need to reach out to her, to try to take some of her pain, but I'm afraid she'd reject my sympathy. Her next words slither between parted fingers and I have to lean in close to hear them.

"Looking back now, seeing how much he seemed to vanish before my eyes every single day, I can see that I lost him long before he ever tried to leave. He's been yours this whole time, no matter how much I tried to disregard it. I was in denial. I just thought he needed time to forget you. I started trying to cook, I went to all his games, I took up running with him in the afternoons, but he always appeared so fucking distracted. I just can't do it anymore, though. He barely says a word. The light that I was so drawn to from the very first time I saw him has long went out. He's a shadow of the person he used to be, and by holding on to him, I'm the one making him all but disappear completely. I love him enough to let him go, so I am."

I'm left speechless in wake of her confession. Both of our faces are soaked with trailing tears, our hiccups the only remnants of our conversation as a stilled silence permeates the small room. I don't know about her, but I sure as shit could use a hug. Cautiously, I move closer to her, slowly wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I sigh in relief when she places her palms against the middle of my back and leans further into my embrace. Squeezing her tighter for a second longer, I ease away and grab her hands.

"Rose, I can't go back in time and change things and sometimes words don't mean shit in this life, but I honestly want you to know how truly sorry I am. About _every_ single thing. I _never_ meant for all this to happen or for things to turn out the way they have," I apologize, hoping my words sound as sincere as they're meant to be.

She pats my hand and quickly wipes away her tears. "I know that, and I'm sorry too. Who knows, maybe everything got fucked up for a reason," she states, shrugging her shoulders and standing up.

"As much as I'd love to stay around and indulge in my inner emo bitch, I better get out of here before the crazies hit the streets," she says, a genuine smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "Plus, I told Edward I'd stop by and help him with a proposal for work."

"How is- is he... okay?" I ask, my voice cracking as I fiddle with the hem of my shirt.

She ruffles my hair, much like a mother would her daughter and answers, "Yeah, I think he's going to be just fine."

Immediately I feel ten pounds lighter, like a huge load has just been lifted off my shoulders. I walk with her to the door and wait patiently as she fixes the buttons on her jacket and wraps the scarf around her neck. We exchange another quick hug, and I watch from my doorway as she walks to her car. Just as she reaches it I call, "Be careful, Rosalie... and thank you."

She waves and climbs in, a dense cloud rolling up from behind her car as the engine turns over. I'm shivering uncontrollably, but I refrain from leaving my stoop until her vehicle disappears down the street and turns the corner at the stop sign.

Once I'm inside, the outside world safely tucked away behind the three silver deadbolts on my door, I scrub my face thoroughly with palms before screwing my knuckles into my eyes. _What the fuck just happened?_

Suddenly, an intense pain radiates from my temporal lobes, possibly from the emotional drain of the day. I walk briskly to the kitchen and pop two Advil in my mouth, deciding to take a shower to alleviate some of the tension. I walk to my room and retrieve some pajamas, deciding to head straight to bed afterward.

Once in the bathroom, I turn on the water and change out of my jeans and shirt while I let the water heat up, the steam eventually filling the room and fogging up the mirror. I climb in and immediately start lathering my hair with shampoo, scratching lightly at my scalp while my mind tries to process that past two hours of my life.

One minute, I'm alone, living vicariously through the characters in the love story that I'm reading. I'm content with my life, resigned to the fact that the two greatest loves that I might have ever known have been removed from my life, and then a single second later, a solitary knock at the door changes all of that.

Rinsing the shampoo, I move on to the conditioner as I think back over Rose's words- how badly Edward had looked, how different Emmett is, but the most important thing that stands out in my mind is the fact that he had been leaving to find me... or so Rose thought. _Why had he rushed through the house that day calling for me, what had he hoped to say? If I still had been there, what would it have changed?_ A million scenarios and questions are running rampant through my brain and eventually it all becomes too much, my skull actually feeling like it might implode from the pressure. I quickly wash myself and turn off the water, my body trembling as I hurriedly dry myself with a towel and pull on my pajama set.

I walk briskly to my room and crawl under my down comforter, snuggling deep below the billowy material and close my eyes. Allowing myself to drift closer to sleep, I silently ask myself, "_If I had just told him that I loved him that morning, would he be in this bed with me right now? Did he still 'care deeply' about me after all this time? If Rose really leaves him, will he try to find me?"

* * *

_

It's on a Saturday, a little over a week since Rose left my apartment, and I'm waking up for the day. I lay in my bed, tossing and turning in a weak attempt to fall back asleep, but it's hopeless. I flop onto my side and reach for my phone, my heart catching in my throat when **1 new text message** appears on the screen. Opening it up, it reads:

**U're going w/me 2 dinner 2nite. No back-sassing, lady.**

**Pick u up after 5 when I get off.**

**-Ang**

I instantly laugh, rolling my eyes at myself for getting all flustered over a damn text. He still hasn't called, and I don't even know if Rose has broke it off with him... or if she is ever going to. I type out my response, agreeing to go, and once again find myself chuckling at Angela's persistence to get me out of the house. Over the past few days, she says I've been becoming reclusive, my axis revolving around my phone and my home, so afraid to miss out on the one thing I gave up eons ago. I have tried not to, but in the end it's futile. I'm stuck in a limbo, afraid to get my hopes up but too scared to move further forward. So, I wait.

I get out of bed, groaning as I massage my tense shoulders with my fingertips. My eyes move to the alarm clock which reads eight minutes until nine o'clock, and I huff. _It's too fucking early to be awake on a Saturday, damn it._

I walk sluggishly to the kitchen, turning on the coffee pot as I pull out some bacon and prepare some toast for breakfast, carrying on with my morning routine as I have every other day.

Later in the morning, I step out of the shower and wrap my robe around my body. I'm towel-drying my hair when I hear a loud banging coming from my front door. I pause mid-fluff, my eyes shooting toward the door when the obnoxious knocking resumes, nearly startling the shit out of me as I strain my ears. I secure the rope around my waist and start padding barefoot across the floor, my towel still draping over my head and hanging past my shoulders. When I reach the living room, the raucous noise grows louder. I look at the clock on the wall, noticing it's just after ten, and figure the store must have been slow so Angela got off early and wants to do lunch instead.

When I reach the door, I start undoing the bolts while shouting, "Hold the fuck on, Angela, Jesus Christ!"

The knocking immediately ceases and I swing open the door, proclaiming, "Your ass wasn't suppose to be here until-"

I scream and stumble backwards, slamming back into the wall, and the towel falling away from my head as I appraise the large frame blocking my entryway. Long, muscular arms wrapped in dark thermal extend far above my head, grasping at the wood frame, while a head full of thick curls hangs between two massive shoulders. My knees begin to wobble and I fear I might actually pass out so I grip the doorknob behind me with one of my hands.

I gasp, covering my mouth with trembling fingers as my eyes fill with tears. I want to reach out, feel every groove in his arms and weave my fingers through the tangled mass above his head, to know with certainty that he's here, in front of my house and real. My limbs lock up instead, and I'm frozen in my spot, the solid wood of the door against my back, and I feel like I'm suffocating. Wordlessly, I beg for him to raise his head and slowly he does, but doesn't say a word.

I take the time, using the heavy silence transpiring between us to really look at him. He has dark circles under his eyes, his icy gaze dulled with emotion, and stress lines cause his lids to crease in the outer corners. His hair is the longest I've ever seen it, large curls dangling over his forehead and partially covering his eyes. Even though his shadow still dwarfs mine, he's lost weight, the sag in his dark jeans further evidence of my suspicions. Slowly, he licks his dried and cracking lips and my eyes move to capture the image in my mind.

He opens his mouth, his lips separating and I wait with bated breath to hear his voice and hope like hell that I'll be able to understand what he's saying over the thundering of my heart in my ears.

"Rose left me two days ago," he states very matter-of-fact, his brusque tenor sounding rough and hoarse when it reaches me.

I push off of the wall then and step closer to him and his eyes immediately scan my body, making my blood course significantly faster through my veins. My body feels like it's ten degrees hotter as I reach up and brush my hand across the coarse stubble etched along his jaw, his eyes instantly closing and his lashes feathering against the top of his cheekbones. He sighs and leans into my touch, making my heart skip a beat.

As the tips of my fingers continuously glide along the sharp angle of his jaw, my breathing accelerates as the moisture rushes to the corner of my eyes, blurring my vision. I blink them away, not wanting to miss a single second of him in front of me. The tears trickle down my face and I inhale deeply, his familiar scent making me feel dizzy, clouding my mind.

"You're really here," I whisper, the beginnings of a tiny smile making the corner of my mouth turn up.

With his eyes still closed, he exhales and brings his hand up to cover mine. He pulls my palm to his lips, gently pressing his mouth against the center and softly responds, "I am."

Then I remember what he had initially said and I feel like a total ass for disregarding his first attempts at speaking with me. I was so overwhelmed with him being here and trying to decide if he was real or not, that I botched my chance at apologizing.

"I'm sorry about Rose, so sorry about all of it. I did so many horrible things and hurt so many people, hurt you... and I just, I'm so sorry," I admit, my words running together and coming out jumbled, my mouth moving faster than my brain has time to process. There's a laundry list of things that I feel I need to apologize for, but I can't seem to gather my thoughts enough to get them out of my mouth. Most importantly, I understand that being with someone for as long as they were together and finally saying goodbye, it's never really easy.

He opens his eyes then, a subtle spark firing in his cerulean irises, his pupils dilating, and it makes my body tingle. I need to be closer to him, but I don't know if it would be appropriate to throw myself into his arms.

He stands up to his full height then and closes the immeasurable distance between us. He slides his thumbs across my face, touching my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids, painting imaginary lines with his electric touch and a chill runs down my spine, my whole body catching fire under his gaze and the feel of his hands on me after being without it for so long.

"Would you think of me as a bad person if I told you it didn't hurt me like it should have... that the whole time she was ending our relationship, I was elated because that meant I might could have one with you," he whispers in a single breath, his eyes dancing around the contours of my face, appearing as though he was trying to gauge my reaction.

An embarrassing sob escapes me then, the words I've imagined him saying to me every night as I dream finally floating across the space to my ears. My heart feels like it might actually explode in my chest because it's beating so hard. I can't help but smile up at him, a goofy-as-hell grin so big that it feels like it might split my face in half.

He smirks, a dimple wedging itself deeply into his cheek, and pulls me into him. I bury my face in his chest and grip his shirt tightly in my fist, drawing the smell of him in through my nose over and over again. I almost want to pinch myself because this can't be happening, even in my wildest dreams I wasn't able to capture his perfection. He runs his hands through my hair, his fingertips gripping my back through the thick fabric of my robe as he hugs me impossibly closer. A blush stains my cheeks when I remember that I'm completely naked underneath.

When I'm sufficiently suffocated, I ease away from him and breathe deeply, the cold air causing me to shiver. My fingers explore his chest, sliding smoothly over the notches in his shirt as they roam over the cloth, marveling in the feeling of hard muscle and sinewy tissue beneath. I look up at him again, unable to contain the small chuckle that rises from my fluttering stomach as I blatantly stare at him.

"I just can't believe you're real. I can't believe you came to me," I confess, feeling like an idiot when he openly laughs, a sound that I realize I've missed more than any other.

He cups my jaw in his large hands and leans down, his eyes holding mine as his words skate across the sensitive flesh of my lips. "I was never gone."

With that, his mouth meets mine, his tongue immediately beckoning entrance as it traces my bottom lip and I allow him to enter, my lips eagerly parting to accept him. The moment are tongues slide across one another, a warmth blooms in the pit of my stomach and my toes curl against the concrete flooring of my little porch. The taste of him is something I'll never forget and I hum through our connection. My fingers get lost in the curls at the base of his neck and time passes by slowly, my entire body and soul enraptured by the contact and the feel of his body against mine, his lips and tongue against mine, his hair sneaking between my fingertips. The heart beating forcefully in my chest is his to have, how ever much of it he desires. It's always been his.

We kiss in my open doorway for what seem like an eternity, at moments it's fast and heated and others it's slow and languorous, filled with passion and sensuality. When we finally pull apart, both of us are panting, puffy clouds of steam rolling from our mouths as we greedily gulp the cold November air. He leans his forehead against mine, but keeps his arms wound tightly around my body, his chest colliding with mine.

"You know, this is never how I pictured saying this, but fuck if I can hide it anymore. Bella," he says, backing away from my face so he can look directly in my eyes. "I love you. I've known since that weekend you left to go to Phoenix after we had sex on the couch. I wish I would have told you then, but I just... I was afraid and I didn't know how you felt about me-"

I shut him up by launching myself at him, attacking his lips with mine, peppering tiny kisses all over his face, as I exclaim, "I love you, too. So much. So, so, so, so much!"

He sits me back down on my feet and we both start trembling, our teeth chattering when our bodies finally recognize the temperature. He tucks a dampened strand of hair behind my ear and motions his head toward the door. "We better get you inside and warmed up or you're going to get sick."

I lead him inside and show him around my apartment. We find ourselves in my bedroom last and he lays down, patting the spot next to him like it's the only place I belong. I lay curled against his chest and we talk for hours, catching up on each others lives and all the things we've missed. Eventually his hands find their way inside my rob, exploring my body, warm appendages rediscovering the places they've already been and paths they're eager to remember. He makes me come with his fingers, come with his mouth, and eventually we lay with our bodies intertwined as I whisper his name when he makes my body quake with pure bliss. He grunts huskily as he reaches his own release, placing delicate kisses on my lips as he tells me repeatedly, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

The best part is that I believe him, that I can feel intensely just how much he truly means it and I readily return the sentiment. He wraps the large blanket around our naked flesh, rubbing circles against my chilling skin as he jokes about us getting a bigger bed because one of us is going to fall off. My heart feels heavy because he sees himself here in the future with me, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry with relief.

After a while, I gasp and my eyes shoot to the clock. It's almost five o'clock and I hurriedly reach for my cell, dialing the numbers quickly as I wait for Angela to answer the phone.

"Afternoon, Sunshine," she greets cheerfully.

Just as I'm opening my mouth to respond, Emmett pulls my earlobe into his mouth and swirls around it with his tongue, causing me to squirm and giggle. "Um, Ang, I'm sorry- stop that- to cancel," I pause, laughing loudly into the receiver when he licks my neck before continuing, "so last minute, but things... sorta came up," I finish, sternly raising my eyebrow at Emmett and pushing him away.

"What the hell is going on over there, Bella? And I said no cancelling," she says exasperatedly.

Just then, Emmett leans in close to me saying, "Yep, things definitely came up and it looks like they're on the rise again." He pushes his cock into my thigh, causing me to gasp and snicker. I slap at his chest and I think I hear Angela drop the phone, the receiver sounding fuzzy for a moment.

Then Angela coughs and exclaims, "Ohmygod, is that Emmett?"

"Gotta go, Angela..."

"Bella, you whore! I need details. Alice, Bella is-"

"I'm hanging up now!" I shout, laughing into the receiver as I end the call.

I place my cell back on the nightstand and roll over in the bed, staring up at him as he smirks and beckons me with his finger. I crawl on top of him and lean down until my lips are even with his.

"That was a very naughty thing you just did, Mr. McCarty. You're lucky I love you as much as I do or I might just have to punish you," I say saucily, biting my bottom lip as I wink at him.

A shriek reverberates around the room as he rolls us over, pinning my body below us as he moves between my legs.

"Oh, I've been a bad, bad boy," he murmurs, capturing my lips with his and kissing me until I see stars.

* * *

**A/N: So, this is the last chapter before the epilogue. I may be a little teary-eyed right now. I hope you enjoyed their reunion, you know I couldn't give you what you expected- or at least I hope it was an unpredictable ending. As for Rose, before you all get to harping on her, think about what you'd do to keep him around. I mean, it is Emmett we're talking about here. I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin'.**

**Thanks to the usual suspects- all the lovely people that provide me hours of entertainment on Twitter, big smooches. To my beta-wifey, Rhi (Live720), I can't believe it's almost over. *cries* Thanks for always being my number one cheerleader and hand holder. (Her fic, "Seventh Inning Stretch" is some goody goody Jake hawtness, just so you all know. Go read... like yesterday!)**

**Smooches,**

**Christina**


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